Mother’s Pride (Anonymous)

I am a happy mother of 6 children. People often complimented me of how great i looked for having had “so many” kids. To my closest friends, i would say “you never saw me naked”. To strangers, i’d say “thanks” with a bit of disgust thinking “if they knew what i learned to hide with the right clothes…. I was never skinny, but always managed to get back to my size 10/12 after each child. On those 6 children, 2 died at birth…. the most ironic thing is that the stretch marks that goes on higher on my belly are from them. With each pregancies, i got new stretch marks to go with the rest. Each new one i can associate with the child they came with. Pretty amazing when i think about it. I was very ashamed of my body. Especially that i have been working out 5 days a week (yes, even with 4 kids) for the past 3 years, desperatly trying to loose that “belly”. The more i worked out, the more saggy my belly got. My husband, loving me with all his heart and wanting me to love myself and be happy, secretly planned for me to meet with a plastic surgeon for a tummy tuck. After the consultation, I decided to go with it. I felt guilty for such luxury, but at the same time, i felt i deserved it. i worked so hard, i thought. When i woke up from surgery, the surgeon immediatly told me how he has never seen stomach muscles so out of shape. “none were in their place” I have had a lot of pain for years, but never associated it with that. He did muscles repair. To his surprise, i asked him if i still had stretch marks. He thought i asked because i DIDNT want them. He said I still had the ones that were on top of my bely button. I cried and said “Thank God” hahahaha The highest one were from my children that passed away… and that is all i have left from them. Sometimes, i just cant wait to wear a bikini just to show off those marks… I felt guilty about fixing myself with a tummy tuck, but still having the marks make me feel better, as weird as it sounds. Those deep, carved marks, are truly a badge of honor for me. I really hope none of you take my story wrong. I know this site is for women to accept themselves, and i have been here for a long time. I encourage you all to be happy with yoru body, simply because you know you are doing your best. I have worked out silly, doing 300 crunches a day that couldnt fix my belly because my stomach muscles were torn and apart… It doesnt matter what we capable of do with our bodies… some women have the perfect bodies and are still not satisfied. My body will never ever look perfect, even with a tummy tuck. I lost that loose skin, but i still have that big ol butt, huge out of proportion boobs, stretch marks and all that. You are beautiful this picture is of me 3 weeks after surgery…

7 thoughts on “Mother’s Pride (Anonymous)

  • Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 9:01 am

    I think its great you had the surgery. There’s no place for guilt here. You look great! I think you look shapely and tight.

  • Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 11:36 am

    You look wonderful, and I love your stretch marks. My heart aches to think of your losses, and what it must be like day to day missing those precious angels. I pray that you find peace, and that the day you hold them again will be wonderful. You should be so proud of your accomplishments as a mommy!! I don’t think you did anything wrong by choosing to have the surgery. You look beautiful, and you can still wear your “Mommy Marks” with pride!!

  • Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    I am glad you were able to make this decision for yourself and be happy with your results. I thought the fact that you wanted to keep your “special” stretch marks was very sweet and showed even more that you made the decision to have surgery for the right reasons. Lovely!

  • Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    I admire your honesty. I’m sorry for the loss of your babies. I know how devestating it could be. I also got one deep strechmark above my bellybutton from my daughter. She was stillborn. If you would like to read my story you will see my post in the March 07′ archives toward the bottom. Titled “stillborn after 2 healthy children”. Thank you for sharing your story, I too hope to have surgery to repair the damaged muscle wall.

  • Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    I can so relate to you — in fact, just the other day I told a stranger, “You haven’t seen me naked.” I had a c-section three weeks ago with my twin boys (kids number 4 & 5) and people are commenting that I look good…. BUT….

    The damage has been pretty extensive. I don’t know if we can afford a tummy tuck… Maybe someday.

    I am glad you have your reminders left. You look great!

  • Sunday, October 14, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    You look and more importantly sound (attitude) perfect!!!

  • Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    I am too going in for a tummy tuck…after 2 kids and loose skin…stretch marks…etc….how was the recovery? Were you able to stand up after a couple days? I am so nervous about the recovery time. Would you do it again??

    Thanks, Amy

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