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Me after two children and difficulties to conceived my third… (Anonymous)

Its taken me months to come up with the courage to post my pictures.To be honest,seeing myself (even dressed)is something that usually makes me want to cry,even though my husband says that he thinks my body is beautiful. I was 18 when I had my son.I weighed in at 110lbs back then,I gained 20lbs throughout my pregnancy and a week after my c-section,I was back into my pre-pregnacy clothes and just by looking at my body,you couldent see that I had just had a baby at all.I used to love the compliments people gave me on my body and the way they would all say how they wished they had my genes…infact,I got so used to the attention,that I began to obsess about my body in order to keep people happy.I used to make myself sick if I had eaten too much,and sometimes I would just starve myself all together.. Even my family would coment on how lucky I was because when I walked down the street,all the boys would turn to get a better look. The relationship with my sons father came to an end soon after he was born,and when my son was 14 months old,I married my husband.He wanted us to have a child straight away,so we were over the moon when I got pregnant a few months after we married.I asumed that this time around would be the same as before and that I would bounce right back,so even when I gained 35lbs throughout my pregnancy,I didnt worry. My daughter was born almost 2 weeks over due via VBAC and I was over the moon..I felt complete. I dropped all my baby weight within a week (just as before) but a few months later (after starting on BC pills) I began to put on weight..8 years later,I weighed in (and still do) at 164lbs,and looking at myself in the mirror was a nightmare.Although I dont have stretch marks on my tummy,I have lots of celulite on my inner thighs and the tops of my arms are HUGE! My self confidence had totally gone and it was so hard to be intimate with my husband when all I wanted to do was cover myself up…I even started to question why on earth he was still with me.Peoples comments on my new shape were (and still are) cruel..Id get the “OH MY GOD!!! What happened to YOU!” when ever I bumped into someone I hadent seen in a while,and my own family seem ashamed at the fact that I dont turn heads any more. My husband and I have been trying for our third child for over a year now,and right now,the pain of not being able to conceive again is alot worse than the pain that I feel when I see my body. Iv been on Clomid,Im currently on Metformin (I have PCOS) and with each day that passes,I am slowly beggining to realise how lucky I am to have this “post-partum” body at all,especially since I am having such difficulties now. I should have treasured my pregnant body instead of selfishly thinking about how it would look afterwards…I realise now that maybe god is making me wait so that the next time around,I will trully apreciate what my body can do.I like to think that I will get pregnant again and Iv promised myself that what ever happens to my body,I will love and treasure what it did and not worry about the scars. I never realised getting pregnant could be so hard,but now that I know,I can look at post partum bodies and think “wow…that is trully beautiful.I wish I could do that again”. No matter what a woman looks like after she has her child,I feel that its a miracle that she were able to get to that point at all.. This site is such a huge help and I am so proud of the women in the pictures.I think you are all beautiful :)





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9 comments… add one
  • tiamama Monday, September 24, 2007, 10:45 am

    That is the body that makes you cry? really? I think you are so beautiful!! You have lovely curves and great skin. Be kind to yourself…and good luck with baby #3.

  • Sarah Monday, September 24, 2007, 11:59 am

    You have a gorgeous body. Your skin is so perfect. Mine is thin, but covered in stretchmarks. I’d trade you in a second! I’m not sure how much you’ll believe that, though. But you are right. God wants us to appreciate our bodies, imperfect or perfect (perfect does not exist) for what they were made to do. I pray that you conceive your third baby and that you’ll appreciate its beauty and the miracle that is growing inside you.

  • Alexis Monday, September 24, 2007, 12:12 pm

    I think you look beautiful!! Your skin is perfect!! You and your husband make a beautiful couple!

  • Emily Smith Monday, September 24, 2007, 7:07 pm

    I think you look great! At the end of your post, you say, “I think you are all beautiful.” Your generosity of spirit should extend to yourself, too. :)

  • Ruth Monday, September 24, 2007, 11:21 pm

    Hello! I have never been pregnant though I wished I was or will be some day, which seems to be out of reach. I gained a lot of weight though through being ill and depressive and I have lots of cellulite and stretch marks, too. I know how you feel because the body image problem has always been an important part of my life. But we women always forget that health is above everything and that a healthy body that can give life to little beautiful creatures is a gift by itself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. As soon as someone gets really ill one starts to appreciate the smallest thing one can do with the body. I love to swim, but now I have a torn ligament, and I’m not allowed to do any sports for 6 weeks!! Suddenly I don’t care anymore about my stupid stretch marks, I just concern about not being able to run like I want to do! And then I tell myself: just imagine it would cancer or something like this. We all should be veeery thankful for every bit of healthy body. And by the way: cellulite is due to fat and that is something you can diminuish by musclebuilding sports :-) ! Best wishes from Germany for your family and you! PS: Believe your husband: you ARE beautiful!!!

  • alice Tuesday, September 25, 2007, 4:25 pm

    Hey… you have a great body. I’d be thrilled for no rolls! Keep positive – I, too, have PCOS and went the Clomid/Metformin route. Within a year (after some adjustments to the amount I was taking) we got pregnant – my daughter is 2 1/2 now. Then… without any drugs… daughter #2 was born 20 months later! Keep the faith, miracles do happen. :)

  • Brendy Friday, September 28, 2007, 5:02 pm

    Seriously? You look better than I did before I had kids! LOL!

  • Kate Friday, September 28, 2007, 5:43 pm

    I think you look beautiful! I would KILL to have your waistline!

  • Diva Monday, October 1, 2007, 3:09 am

    You’re beautiful honey, be kind to yourself. I hope you’ll get your third baby soon!! :)

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