Marks of courage, strength and overwhelming love. (Amanda)

About 3 weeks after my 19th birthday(and wedding) I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Summer. My new husband and I were a mix of emotions. Excited, scared, freaked out, happy.. all of it. I loved my little baby belly. As soon as I was big enough to look pregnant I wore my growing baby with pride. One day(about 5 months in) I noticed my first stretch mark. It was about a 1/2 an inch long and not very noticeable at all. The next day, there were about 10 in that same spot, and I cried- just like a hormonal pregnant woman would. About a week after that I had that deciding sonogram, the one that would tell us the sex of our baby.
“It’s a girl!”
I was elated. Then something else.. A “hmm” and then “well.. the doctor will be able to tell more” was all I got then they sent my to my OB. Apparently there was an abnormality. My wonderful, sweet, tiny little baby may be in trouble. “We have to scheduel another ultrasound. No need to stress about it now. But I wouldn’t rule out anything from cystic phybrosis to Downsyndrome.” Suddenly everything I had in me was begging for those little marks on my belly to be my biggest concern again. Weeks passed before we found out any more, weeks filled with lots of crying, and praying. Then came the moment of truth. I placed all my hopes and fears in the hands of this stranger, a perinatologist, and I know he could see in my eyes- my pleading with him to tell me that everything would be ok. That my daughter would come into this world healthy and happy.
Good news, whatever was there before was no where to be found. All that the sonogram showed was one perfectly perfect baby girl. MY baby girl. After that, every mark, every pound, every crazy way my body distorted itself from my pre-pregnancy form.. just meant I was that much closer to meeting my miracle. It all meant she was getting that much bigger, that much healthier.. and I would endure so much more than some purple streaks on my belly to get my daughter to me safely.
Now when I see my stretch marks, my extra skin and flab, I see stregnth. I see how much I cried, and also hard I worked to keep myself together for her. I see the love in her eyes when I looked into them for the very first time. I see her daddy, my husband, craddling my belly every night while we slept. I hear those life changing words, “There’s nothing to worry about. She’s going to be a healthy baby girl.”

Thank you so much for this site. It brought tears to my eyes. Such wonderful stories, such beautiful babies and VERY beautiful mothers. It’s really a great thing you are doing.

~Your Age:21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: My only daughter is 14 months old.

12 thoughts on “Marks of courage, strength and overwhelming love. (Amanda)

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 11:32 am

    Your story brought tears to MY eyes. I’m so happy for you that your daughter is healthy. Sometimes it takes a near tragedy to put things in perspective. You have a wonderful attitude and hopefully your words will inspire other women to see their body issues in a new light. Thanks for sharing!

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 11:50 am

    OMG! I love the second picture!!! Gorgeous baby girl!

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Congratulations on your princess :) My gorgeous girl is the same age and also loves to grab handfuls of Mummy’s tummy, giggling the whole time :) I’m sorry you had to go through the stress of worrying everything might not be ok with your pregnancy, but it is inspiring the way you took on the positive outlook you clearly have today. Well done :)

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Stories like this really do give you some perspective on just how a silly and small something like stretchmarks really are!

    Your daughter is perfect :)

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    I love the picture of your daughter grabbing your skin on your tummy. My son does the same, something he probably wouldn’t have been able to do before he was born. It’s the perfect picture showing how much those little fingers change us — inside and out.

  • Monday, September 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    What a eye opening story, you have a great attitude! Sometimes we almost need to loose something to appreciate it fully. I love your photos what a gorgeous Mum & Daughter :)

  • Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 5:19 am

    I am happy your baby girl is healthy…but even if she wasn’t you would love her just as much! My baby boy was born with Marshall Smith Syndrome, and he passed away at 19 months. He is the best thing that ever happened to me (him and his little brother!). You can find my story under child loss “2.5 months pp, second cesarean in 2.5 years” with links to my other 2 entries. You look amazing by the way! I love your outlook on things, I feel the same way. I look at my belly and all of my stretchmarks from my angel baby Connor, and I smile! Cystic fibrosis is so sad…my friend had it and she passed away at 20 back in 2006, and her little sister had it and just passed away this last April at 17…I talk to their mom a lot because I know what she is going through. Anyway, your daughter is beautiful just like her mommy!

  • Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Beautiful sentiments and beautiful photos…my children used to love sitting on the sofa playing with my tummy – they’ve all grown up now but still remember doing so. I have no pictures of this myself, only very fond memories.

  • Friday, September 18, 2009 at 4:56 am

    I laughed when I saw your second photo :)
    because today my 10 months old was grasping and pinshing my tummy too it seems that he thought it is a third breast hahah .. Enjoy i had number three 10 months ago it is worth every single strech mark who cares!! love babies sooo much :)

  • Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    congratulations on everything! you look great, your child is beautiful and it is worth all the extra skin and stretch marks as well. “marks of love” hehe God bless you all take care

  • Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 1:38 am

    It’s sooooooo worth it! All of it!!! :)

  • Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 4:13 am

    I had a similar story with my daughter who is also quite perfect! It is truly amazing that our strength as women grow in time with our bellies. Congratulations to you.

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