Hi! I have been a visitor for years now, I have never writen my story…but one day I will! today I just wanted to share something with all my shapeofamother friends…
I was reading The Velveteen Rabbit (by Margery Williams) to my 5 year old today. I have read this story before, but just as other great stories, you can always find something new every time you read them. I came upon this wonderful quote:
*The Rabbit is talking to the wise and old skin horse about being REAL. This is the skin horse’s explanation: “It doesnt happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That is why it doesnt often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things dont matter at all, because once you are REAL you cant be ugly,except to people who dont understand.” WE are REAL, we are beautiful.
That’s beautiful, thanks! I was thinking today about how, when I’m old, assuming I’m lucky enough to live to be old, my whole body and even my face will be wrinkly. And I was thinking what a blessing in disguise it is that I got wrinkly saggy skin on my belly from pregnancy… Because it’s on my belly I can hide it easily from the outside world (those who “don’t understand”) while I have time to internally process the change and grow to love my new self. I figure by the time I start showing signs of aging that I *can’t* hide, like wrinkles on my face, I’ll have a huge head-start on aging gracefully, compared to the women whose bodies have not changed along the way, who will be blind-sided by it. I feel very lucky in a way, to be able to process all of those feelings now, so when I am going through middle age I will have all my energy free to put towards more important things than worrying about my looks.
As we age we accumulate physical imperfections. For some of us, the wear and tear of pregnancy accelerates the aging of our bodies. Instead of seeing my new skin as only damaged, although technically it is damage, I want to also see it as a symbol of my wisdom and experience, something beautiful to cherish.
I AM more “real” now than I was before having a baby. I have lived through a lot more, and my life has a deeper meaning now than I’d ever considered before. My concerns now seem more significant–before having a baby I was concerned with more trivial things.
Both of you, wow, all I can say is wow. Karla,that was a beautiful quote from the story and Rebekah, the response that you are more “real” now that you’ve had children, you both really touched a soft spot in me.
I’ve pretty much accepted my post-baby body (I’m actually pregnant with baby #4 right now!), but you both have just pushed me toward appreciating it.
With my loose skin and stretch marks and bigger hips, no one will ever mistake me for a Barbie doll, but you know what, that’s actually really cool, because I AM “real”!
Perfectly said.