Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Finally In Love with My Body (Corinne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 15 Comments

33 years old
2 previous pregnancies, 2 children aged 12 and 15 months
Currently 25 weeks pregnant

I got married at 20 and had my first baby 10 months after we married. I went from a UK size 10 to about a 16 during my first pregnancy and got what I thought were the most hideous stretch marks. I did get a lot of stretch marks, right across my belly and my stomach never went back to its previous size. My husband’s sex drive had never been high but after going through the birth with me it was non-existent. Our marriage lasted about a year or so more and then I ended things and moved out to live alone with our son. My already fragile confidence after experiencing a difficult teenage years was even more battered.

When my son was 2 I returned to university to study Environmental Sciences. It was the best decision I made, my son went to the university nursery and I worked hard. I loved studying and loved my degree. My confidence grew generally but the whole time I still felt I hated my body, I went down to about a size 12 but felt like a young woman who’d missed out on being able to wear skimpy clothes and bikinis. I hid my stretch marks and flabby stomach from the world. I never felt I had a pretty face, my large breasts and long legs got lots of attention and mainly I would feel like a piece of meat to men in the street. I would try and hide them when I was out, I hated the attention.

While in my 3rd year I met the man who was to become my second husband. He seemed to be a confident, good looking and loving man. He loved my hour glass figure and seemed unfazed by my stretch marked stomach, I discovered that having big breasts and hips could be a sexy thing, but I still had my dreaded stomach to hide, I regretted not loving my body more before getting pregnant. In time I learnt he had his own issues about his self image, he’d had a serious accident which had left him scarred and with a badly broken nose. At times he would have a complete melt down about himself, so we ended up 2 fragile people together and in the end the relationship failed.

Shortly after our relationship broke down I had a brief fling with a friend and fell pregnant with my second child. I was terrified; I already hated my body and was scared what another pregnancy would do to it. I was alone and thought that I was going to be on my own forever. At this point an angel friend came to my rescue and paid for a long course of counselling for me, I got on incredibly well with the counselling, worked hard, confronted some issues, learnt how to trust and I can honestly say it completely changed my life.

During this time and while I was 4 months pregnant, I met a man on a week-long residential course with work. I was much more wary of becoming involved but in the end I followed my heart and we continued to see each other and moved in together much faster than I would have thought sensible. Luckily this turned out to be the best decision I made, he was there for the 20 week scan and the birth of my second son. He is an amazing father to him and we are now happily expecting our own baby together, though for both of us it feels like our second baby together. Both my son’s see their natural fathers but both get to share the experience of having this amazing man in our lives.

The biggest difference is my own self-esteem. My partner clearly completely fancies and adores me. He is loving and supportive and we share the same ideals, hopes and dreams from life. He sees my belly, both when pregnant and after as a beautiful miracle thing which has produced beautiful children. This attitude couldn’t help but rub off on me, I am finally feeling proud of my body and the wonderful work it’s done and is continuing to do. A few days ago I asked him to take some photos of me and the bump, stretch marks and all. I felt brave, liberated and beautiful. I am so proud of these photos it seemed fortuitous to then discover this website, so I’ve decided to share them with you, this is my biggest step yet in accepting my body, especially as I’ve decided to show you my face too.

Updated here and here.

Sometimes I like it sometimes I hate it (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 month

This is my first pregnancy and I should admit I was not quite ready emotional to things happened to me. I love my little girl who is 6 month old now but there are some things that upsets me a lot. I was 125 lbs before pregnancy and I already returned back to my weight. Still I am not happy with my body: there are some days I look at myself in a mirror and I think its ok it could be worse ( I did not get any stretchmarks) and sometimes the look of my body just upsets me so much. Recently I went to the pool that I was really excited about it since it was my first time after birth. Well, let me tell you I felt extremely insecure, I still have this line across my stomach and I felt like I am really chubby in comparison to other girls with perfect bodies. I am not saying anything about my boobs, they are saggy anyway. At the same time I am deeply ashamed of my own stupid behavior, I should just enjoy every minute playing with my little miracle but I choose to poison myself with negative thoughts. I do work out, try dieting but even with my weight 125 lbs I still look different.

5 yrs Fibro and Autism (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

age: 27
number of pregnancies/births : 1/1
age of child: 5.5

I am a plus size mom and wanted to represent more of us bigger moms since it is a little lacking. I am 324lbs at 5yrs postpartum. I am comfortable with my body, I deal with the constant pain of fibromyalgia every day and homeschool my 5yr old who has autism.

I was 250lb at 6weeks pp, but once my fibromyalgia started and I needed to start taking anti-depressants I started to pack on the weight. I probably rely on the therapeutic properties of chocolate too much some days, but its better than getting drunk. I have stretch marks everywhere, cellulite, rolls and scars from my gall bladder surgery, but my husband still finds me as sexy as the day I married him. I view my body as a map of my travels as a mother so far, one day I will lose some weight but these marks will always be with me and I am proud of them because inside my stomach I nurtured my child for 9mths. My breasts may sag but they breastfed my child for 2.5yrs.

I am woman, hear me roar!

Progress, Not Perfection (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 17 Comments

First of all, I would just like to say that I love this website, and I have visited it nearly everyday since I found it. It is truly amazing the giant gap between the body images we are fed in the media and the REALITY of what healthy women really look like. But of course, being aware of the problem and overcoming the problem are two very different things, and the latter takes an immense amount of work to accomplish. I think I am getting there, but I know I have a long way to go. Some days are better than others. So, here is my story…

I became pregnant with my first child three months shy of my 20th birthday. I was in a horrible relationship, but didn’t realize it yet. My pregnancy was complicated by preeclampsia, due to stress, and depression. The father of the baby, whom I was living with, was (is still) an alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t know about the drugs then, but I did know that he rarely came home at night. I stayed up worrying many nights. When he did come back, he would often threaten to leave me, occasionally packing all of his stuff in the car. He screamed a lot, and called me names. I was in a constant state of anxiety, and I felt like I was going crazy. He didn’t want to touch me all through the pregnancy. One night, he brought home this girl- a mutual “friend” of ours- and had sex with her in our bed while I was home.

My daughter was born in March. Her father was there, physically, but not mentally or emotionally. I spent the first month after my baby was born with a family member, and then we moved back to where her father was from. The abuse got worse, and turned physical. I honestly can’t remember him holding his daughter at all. Ever. I mean, I’m sure it happened a few times, but for the most part I was a single mom (with financial support). I breastfed my daughter for over a year. After a few months though, she only wanted to nurse on one side. I know it is pretty common for something like that to happen, but in my situation, it was unbearable. I was teased by her father and even his mother for my “lopsidedness”. I won’t drag you all through the next two years, but eventually I got sick of it all and got smart. Just after my daughter’s second birthday, I moved back home, got a job and moved on with my life.

Fast forward four years. I’m happily married and have a son now too. Sometimes I sit back and wonder how I got from 2007 to today. Luck? It seems so very far away, and yet it really wasn’t all that long ago. I still suffer from depression and now I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and get panic attacks. I birthed my son at a birth center without any pain medication. He was a robust nine pounds even. I felt fantastic (okay, maybe not fantastic)- but pretty damn good after the delivery. It was so much better than having an epidural, even though my labor was hard. My husband is a freaking angel. He is the most supportive, loving, amazing person I have ever met. He has put up with my “crazies” for the last three years like a champ.

Last year I had a breast augmentation to try to fix my uneven breasts. I am really happy with the result- although I do have days that I wish I could have been happy the way I was. I think my doctor did an amazing job, and I think they look and feel very natural. My husband was perfectly happy with me before, but he was very supportive of my decision too.

I had lost a lot of the weight I gained with my son, but I’ve recently gained some of it back. I’m not sure if it my diet, or the fact that I stopped hormonal birth control. We aren’t trying for another baby, and use condoms, but I just wanted to see what my cycle (and emotional state) would be like off of birth control. I had been on some form or another for almost ten years. I’m really unhappy about my weight right now. I was (a tiny) 120 before my daughter’s birth, gained 65 pounds during that pregnancy, and got down to 130 pounds about two years postpartum. The second time around, I think I gained about 40 pounds, got down to 135 and now I’m about 141 or so. I can’t fit into any of my old pants- even the things I was wearing 1 year postpartum, and it is really frustrating. I’m doing an ab class three times a week, but not much else. My diet is pretty sucky right now too. I am thinking about going vegetarian again- that’s what I did last year to get down to 135. I have an old scar on my belly- it’s not from a cesarean, but very similar to one like that- so I have that kind of skin/fat overhang thing there too, which I hate!

There is a lot more to my story of course… I’m just working on being able to talk about and share it all. Thank you for reading this. If there is one thing I’d wish for, it would be for everyone to be a little bit kinder to themselves and each other. Everyone has a story- some of them are like mine. Some stories are worse, and some are better. But everyone carries something around with them.

The first five photos are of me today, and the last one is when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with #2.

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 & 2, 2 years postpartum

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous submission here.

My age: 31
Number of Pregnancies: 2
Children: 21 months and 1 month
4 weeks post partum

I was surprised to find myself covered in stretch marks at the end of my eighth month of pregnancy. My previous submission shows an almost blemish free belly. Yet I am not upset about them, just as I am not upset about any of the scars on my body, they have all come with a story. If anything these are the scars I am most proud of, because they were the hardest to earn. What does upset me is the weight gain and the mommy apron. I know I am responsible for both of these things and in a way that is what makes them even more upsetting. How did I allow my body to get this out of hand?

I read posts from other moms who are in better shape post pregnancy than they were pre pregnancy, sometimes with in a few short months and I think, ” How can I be such a failure?”

I am proud of my two healthy boys and would not give them up for anything, but being a Mommy has definitely taken it’s toll.

I am hoping this post will help me to find the strength to get through the weight loss, and trials of mommyhood that lie ahead.

First four photos: 4 weeks post partum
Last two photos: 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant, day of scheduled c-section

Getting used to the new me (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

Age-23
Number of pregnancy’s,births- 1 ,1
4 1/2 months Postpartum
c-section

I have been having a pretty hard time dealing with my new body after having my baby 4 months ago. I am just now starting to be some what ok with how I look. I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy and have lost 20 of it, for some reason the last 20lbs do not seem to want to come off and I’ve been getting a little depressed about it, but I do know that it WILL eventually come off. My husband is amazing, he’s always telling me that I look great and sexy and beautiful, but its still hard to believe sometimes. I guess the thing that gets me is in your 20’s your are supposed to feel and look your best and I don’t feel like I ever will again. Its not the stretch marks that bother me so much all though they arnt my favorite lol, I think the flash from the camera brightens them up a bit because they arnt as noticeable in person. What bothers me is how much my stomach still pokes out from the side. It seems like no matter what I do it wont even start to flatten out. I do wonder sometimes though if I had not had to have a c-section if it would have been easier to lose the weight. I didn’t want to have a c-section but my little guy wouldn’t fit so they had to give me one. But all and all I don’t think I look to bad, I obviously don’t look like I’d like to, but I got my perfect little man out of it all so I try not to complain to much. I’d do it all over again in a heart beat.

Without my belly, I wouldn’t have hers. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 14 Comments

age-17
7 months pp

I posted on this site about two months ago. I have lost a little more weight since then, but all together I am feeling great. I was 93 pounds when I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter. 156 when I gave birth. I am now down to 128 pounds. Thanks to my amazing boyfriend I am starting to feel sexy again.

Last night I was getting my daughter dressed after her bath and while I was putting lotion her belly, it hit me how perfect her belly is. She has the softest skin and such an even skin tone. She is so beautiful. I looked at my own belly, how its sagged and stretched and the lighter skin tone of my stretch marks. But for once I did not care. It hit me that my daughter will always be beautiful. When she holds the shape of a baby, plump and soft, when she holds the shape of a young child, careless and free. When she holds the shape of a teen as shes finding her own self and is becoming a young lady. But most importantly she will be beautiful one day when she holds the shape of a mother if thats what she wishes. She will be just a beautiful with her belly round and stretched for the new life she is carrying. MY belly is BEAUTIFUL because I gave life to such an amazing baby. Without all my marks I would not have her perfect belly, that one day itself may carry the marks of motherhood.

Thanks to my daughter I am finally coming to terms with my weight gain. I am going on vacation and have decided to wear my BIKINI. Idc if I have a few extra pounds or stretch marks! I have a beautiful baby to show for them. I love my mommy body and I’m going to rock it ;) thanks to my new mind set, my relationship with my boyfriend has improved so much. I no longer think he is lying when he says I’m beautiful or when he tells me he loves my body. Motherhood is such a beautiful thing and I think we are all too hard on ourselves.

Updated here.

Not Myself Anymore (Morgan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age:18
No. Of Pregnancies and Births: 1
8 Months PP

No one realises how hard it is to be a mom. I’ve had so many friends say to me, “I want a baby so bad, you must be so happy!” But it’s not like that. I got pregnant to my ex after one week of being together. Even worse, we had only known each other for two weeks. I know it sounds bad, but I was in a bad stage and where I live, this is considered ‘normal’. Anyway, I got pregnant at 17 years old. When we found out, everyone was so happy. Mum, dad and especially the father. We thought we had our perfect family. I dropped out of my last year at school and moved to live 30 minutes away with my then boyfriend. We were only together three months when the problems started.

First of all, let me say that the dad isn’t a bad guy at all. Just young and confused. He struggled with losing his friends and social life more than I did. He started taking it out on me. He was never physical, but the emotional bruises stood out. My closest friend noticed how down I was but my family didn’t. He texted my friends flirting and compulsively lied to me. I felt wortless and out of control with sadness. I felt like there was no way out and I cried in the bathroom at nights. My iron levels dropped astronomically and I couldn’t do anything remotely difficult. I couldn’t sleep at night, was sensitive to light, got urine infections constantly and could barely move during the day. I was physically and emotionally drained and my ex and I became vile to each other. We screamed at each other and broke down constantly. He was overworked and I was shattered from all the problems. Most nights we only cuddled to feel comfort but neither of us were happy. It had to end.

I went in to labour with my son on his due date of 30th of May, 2010. He was born naturally…an amazing birth, 7lb 10oz on 1st June 2010. My 18th birthday was the 16th June. My ex and I had the most amazing, peacefully beautiful first two weeks with our son, but after that…back to normal. When he was one month old, I left his dad and moved back to my home town. I set up a new life for myself, even though deep down I wanted back my family with Bubba and his dad. It’s been 7 months since I left and 4 months ago I started going out with someone I knew from school. I was so happy. He made me comfortable to be myself. He says he doesn’t care what I look like. But it was when I looked around me at all the people I used to be best friends with that I saw how much I changed. One of my old friends told me I was fat and disgusting.

Before my son, I weighed 45kg (99pounds) and was a size 7 (NZ sizes) in shoes and 5ft 3. Now I am still 5ft 3. But I gained 25 kg (55pounds) and went up a shoe size and I hate myself. I also discovered I have depression. It made sense, since I can’t sleep at nights and NOTHING makes me happy. I feel as if the experience I had with my ex and being isolated caused this as I have not been happy since before my pregnancy. Also I feel like i’ve lost myself in a adult world before I was ready to be one. I realise now that most people dont learn they aren’t ready unless they are forced into parenthood.

The night my friend said that, I looked in the mirror and realised I even thought I was ugly. I had been hiding from myself but now it all came to light. The fat thighs, flabby stomach, fat arms and stretch marks were bad enough, but they could be hidden. It was my face I cried about most. It had completely changed and was fat and scarred. I feel as if I am disgusting, I look in the mirror and don’t even see myself anymore. Every part of me has changed, everything. I want to love who I am, but I cant. I feel like i’m dreaming that i’m someone else but it’s more like a never-ending nightmare. I want to change but I can barely afford to live so I cant afford gyms or 3 decent meals a day or anything like that. But I’m trying to cope. Slowly working things out.

The only good thing I have truly and forever is my beautiful boy, who amazes me everyday with how much he learns. He clapped today for the first time. Soon he will crawl. Watching him grow makes me so much happier. He is my only light and I would’ve given in to my sadness if not for him.

Thank You

Am I the only one? (Randi)

Bonnie (SOAM) Child Loss, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 21 Comments

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: two pregnancies. One still birth at 22 weeks pregnant. One live birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: son Jacob is 15months old. So 15 months pp.

I have always wanted to be a mother. Not necessarily get pregnant at a young age I always knew I would be a good mother.. When the time came. I was dating a guy I prefer to remain nameless but for this story let’s call him joe. Joe and I were not together for very long. Just long enough for me to realize he was a loser who dropped out of high school. Didnt care about getting a job and really wasn’t going anywhere in life. So I left him. No big deal. A few weeks later I took a pregnancy test and to my horror I was pregnant. Pregnant and alone. I managed the courage to call him and tell him we needed to meet up and talk. When i told him the news he said “well I hope u get an abortion, or else prepare to be a single mother” those were exact words I can’t force myself to forget. So I then found the courage to tell my parents. They were nothing but understanding, my mom told me “what’s done is done, and now we just need topray and take it day by day”. I’m so glad I have such an amazing family.

So the days went by and I spent a lot of my time crying and wondering how I was going to do this. I looked into options. Abortion was never an option, not for me. And I couldn’t figure out how I could carry a baby for nine months and then give it up for adoption. So my decision was made. I was going to keep the baby and do the best I could. Over the next few weeks I met a guy I really liked. His name is nick, But telling him I was pregnant is not something that was on the top of my to do list. But eventually I did, I told him over the phone. Immediately after I told him, he had to get off the phone. I figured “great” I scared away the only man willing to spend time with me. A few days later he sent me a text asking if he could take me out to dinner and talk to me. Of course I agreed. He told me that he didn’t care that I was pregnant and wasn’t going anywhere. Over the next few months he became very active in my pregnancy. He went to doctor appointments, ultrasounds, and even birthing class’s. On my birthday he told me that he loved me more than anything in the world and wanted to marry me and raise this baby as his own. I didn’t know what to say. He made me so happy I couldn’t say no. Every night we would lay in bed and hen would rub my belly and sing to the baby and read him books. Before we fell asleep he would get his face right up to my belly button and whisper “I can’t wait to meet you, daddy loves you son”. Not long after I was 2 weeks overdue and scheduling a c section. On august 12th 2009 my son Jacob Dean was born at 9 pounds 6 ounces. Nick cried and said “my son is so beautiful”. Jacob had some health issues and was in an incubator for a few days and had an iv. Nick never left my side once. He ate in the hospital cafeteria and showered in my rooms bathroom. Every time Jacob cried it was his duty to change diapers since I could barely move due to the c section. Nick is an only child with no cousins. Jacob was the first baby he had ever held. But he did an amazing job. He never complained about anything and was just so great with the baby.

Then it was time to go home, and all of a sudden all the confidence I had…was gone. I didn’t have a nurse to help me when I didn’t know what to do. We were on our own. My head was filled with “what if’s”. I didn’t know how I would take care of this tiny life. Every time I looked in the mirror I was disgusted by what I saw. I saw this ugly stretch marked skin and flabby fat that hung over the top of my jeans. I didn’t fit into any of my clothes and I felt like a whale. Nick always told me how beautiful I was and that now my body is beautiful in a new way. I carried and brought a life into the world. He said I should feel proud. But whenever I would breastfeed I would sit in our room and cry, and sometimes I didn’t even know why I was crying. I had a beautiful son and an amazing boyfriend but I was so unhappy with how I looked that I looked over all that. And reality also set in that I couldn’t go back to work and we didn’t know how we were going to pay for all the things he needed. I thought for sure nick would leave when he saw what actually went into being a parent. But he didn’t, he never left our side.

Now our son is one and a half. He is a happy boy who still has a great number of health issues. We live with my inlaws but soon will have to leave since we can’t afford the rent. We haven’t paid them rent in over six months. I am back in school and actually about to graduate and get my liscence as an Esthetician. Nick is still by my side and Jacob loves him more than anything in the world. Inside I sometimes still get sad that Jacobs biological father doesn’t care about him. He is not a good guy and would not have made a good father but it still hurts me that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he has a son and he has never wanted to see him, I don’t know why this bothers me, am I wrong for feeling this way? I don’t understand it and it confuses me. I wonder why Jacob and I weren’t good enough for him and his family. When Jacob grows up I have no idea what I’ll tell him. He knows nick is his dad. Anyone can make a baby. But a parent is a nurturer. A role model. And a provider. Nick is the one who gets up with him in the night, feeds him in the day, plays with him at the park, picks when up when he falls down and gives him praise when he does something good. I feel sad that his biological father will never know what am amazing child Jacob is. And I think I’m wrong to feel that way.

I know my life is not that interesting and thank you to anyone who read this far. I guess I just needed to vent, tell someone my story. I always am at home and crave adult interaction. I’m scared because my son is almost out of diapers and I know I can’t afford to buy him more. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who has these feelings. Are there other women out there who can relate? Who have input? I am eternally grateful to my boyfriend. He dropped everything he used to love for Jacob and me. He always tells me he wouldn’t change his decision for the world. He wants to try again for another baby. He loves being a father and he is great at it. My family loves him and they love that he is taking part in raising Jacob. They are grateful he came into our lives as well. Some people tell me I’m wrong for letting a man who isn’t the biological father raise him. I don’t get why that’s wrong. He loves Jacob. That’s what matters. Right? This site has made me see how real women are and how real our feelings are. We aren’t like the women in magazines. We aren’t back to a size two a week after birth. Thank you to everyone who writes thier stories on here. It made me not afraid to speak out about my story and my life. I just wanted to feel important and tell my story. To someone who will care about it.

Picture 1: nick and baby Jacob. I wasn’t out of surgery yet.
Picture 2: my mom holding baby Jacob. My first look at him right after my c section.
Picture 3: Jacob in his daddy’s arms. 2 weeks old.
Picture 4: nick and Jacob. One year old.
Picture 5: me and Jacob
Picture 6: Jacob now at 1 and a half.

Has it been 4 years already? (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 7 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, 1 birth
Child’s Age: 4 years

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already. My body has done some amazing things! When I got pregnant, I was only 17. Like most 17 year olds, I had a nice cute little perfect body. (Of course I didn’t think so at the time…). I weighed around 140, and got up to about 180 during my pregnancy.

Afterwards, I developed severe post-partum depression. I didn’t eat, barely slept, and since I was breastfeeding I lost weight ridiculously fast. In 2 weeks I dropped down to 130, well below my pre-pregnancy weight.

Once I went on meds, my mood (and my weight) stabilized at a much more healthy level. And since then, it has been a few years. My weight has crept up slowly, and I’m back up at 180.

Anyway, here are some pictures of me. I have one of those awesome botticelli bodies, at least I think so. Of course, there are those few areas that bug me. For some reason, my stretch marks have never faded. And I have that not-so-attractive shelf because of my cesarean scar. But, in general, I think I’m pretty cute! Even without the flat stomach and perky boobs. My body says I’m good at bearing children, which I’m assuming is attractive to men. At least, I haven’t had very many people turn me down!