Gaining Acceptance and a Little Appreciation (Anonymous)

Number of pregnancies/births: 2/2
Currently 3 weeks pp: weighing 166 pounds
Weight before pregnancy #2: 155 pounds
Weight on delivery day (40 weeks prego) 194 pounds
Height: 5’10”

After my first pregnancy I realized soon into my pp days that I was “cursed” with this saggy, wrinkly skin and horrendous stretch marks. I was convinced that I was no longer attractive, not now and never would be again. All of my two piece bathing suits went to good will. Not that I was ever completely satisfied with my body, being the typical young female and all, but I had it in me to appreciate my flat stomach and I had pretty nice boobs… Now both of those are no longer in existence. After breast feeding number 1, my boobs sag a bit. Now 3 weeks pp with number 2, I am being reintroduced to my saggy belly. Surprisingly enough, as I look at it now it doesn’t seem as bad as I thought of it the first time around. I think a lot of this has to do with this site and all of the wonderful women sharing their stories/pictures/encouraging words/words of wisdom… Even from the youngest of moms!! When I found out I was prego again, I remember saying to my husband “I promise after this one I will get into the best shape of my life and schedule a total mommy makeover…” he just rolled his eyes and tried to convince me that he finds me attractive and surgery is not needed… Yea right, I thought. Well, no longer do I feel I need a total mommy makeover. I have two beautiful girls. I know too many girls who can’t have kids and would die for my saggy skin so they can hold their newborn in their arms… As I hold my three week old in my arms, and I play with my toddler, I remind myself how blessed I am… Life is crazy hectic but these two beautiful girls are my world and I wouldn’t trade anything for that! Here are some photos 3 weeks pp with number 2… I do still plan to work out and eat healthy so I have a ways to go but I’ve gained acceptance and a little appreciation… Thank you to all who have shared and commented….

Updated here.

Extremely Self-Consious About My 2 Month PP Body (Hollie)

My name is Hollie, I’m 21 years old, and I gave birth to my beautiful, wonderful son Triston 2 months ago. I gave birth vaginally, and slightly underestimated how much it would hurt, haha. I knew that my postpartum body wouldn’t be like my prepregnancy body by any means, but i didn’t expect the stretch marks to completely ravage my stomach, hips and legs the way they have.I’ve always had terrible problems with self-image (my mom would call my thunder thighs when i was younger and told me not to go to the beach for my honeymoon because my husband would definitely look at everyone but me and my dad would tell me i needed to stop eating so much, that I looked like i could eat someone out of house and home.) and that caused me to work out all the time in high school and I ended up with an incredibly toned tummy, and it’s been flat since then.Until I got pregnant and the comments started back up. I remember going to the lake when i was 7 months pregnant with my husband and my much skinnier friend and confidently wearing a 2-piece until my mom asked me how i wear that and stand next to my friend knowing she looked so much better than I did… so this has been like a nightmare to see every time I look in the mirror. I honestly don’t even see how my husband could find me attractive. This website has been a real help to me, when I found it I was on for an hour looking at the stories and pictures and they brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for creating a place like this where mommies like me can feel normal.

28 Weeks Pregnant (Anonymous)

I am currently 24 years old and am pregnant with my first baby. A baby boy :) My husband and I have been together going on 4 years and have been married for a year, in May of 2012. We had our actual wedding/celebration on March 24th, 2012. On April 20th, 2012, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child :) We were and are still beyond excited!! I was 6 weeks pregnant when we found out. The journey has been an interesting one! I am 5 feet tall and weighed 130lbs before I found out I was pregnant. I ended up losing 7 pounds in the first few weeks of my pregnancy! My husband and I like to camp and hang out with our friends, as well as hunt and fish and of course drink beer ;) After I found out I was pregnant, I obviously stopped drinking and stopped eating out everyday. I began eating very healthy and drinking lots of water. In the beginning, it was a little difficult for me, as my husband and I are still very young, and love to have fun together with our friends and family. I have always been paranoid about getting “fat” during pregnancy. My belly slowly started to form and finally popped at about 20 weeks of pregnancy. I have escaped stretch marks on my tummy, but have gained some on my breasts. I have attempted to stay active throughout my pregnancy, by doing prenatal yoga at home and in a studio. I also take my dog for walks when it is not 100 degrees outside, and I also do little leg and arm workouts to keep up with the toning. Being 28 weeks pregnant and feeling my little man move around in me is well worth it. I currently only weigh 139 lbs. I am still trying to eat healthy and take care of myself. As of this week, I have become very tired again :( Watching my body grow has definitely been an experience for me. All of my friends are tiny and I tend to get a little jealous when they look so stinkin cute! However, I am happy with my belly and body so far. My legs have always been pretty big! Although, they were the first things to go, I’d say. I will keep you all posted on my journey after motherhood. My babe is due December 17th, 2012 :)!

First picture: 6 weeks 1 day
Second picture: 20 weeks pregnant
Third Picture: 28 weeks pregnant

(Anonymous)

I’m 20 years old and pregnant with my first child. I’m 36 weeks pregnant. Before I got pregnant I’ve always been tiny 5’2 and 110 lbs. I loved my body and loved being skinny. Now I’ve already gained about 50 lbs and still gaining. About two days ago I noticed stretch marks and I haven’t stopped thinking about them since. I’m unsure of what to do about them and I’m really afraid of what my stomach will look like after birth. I have used cocoa butter my whole pregnancy it clearly doesn’t work. I’m do self concious and I’m not confident anymore. I just want to be happy with my body and I know I won’t be once I have the baby. Still trying to learn how to cope with everything :(

Body Image Issues; My Partner Gives No Support (Anonymous)

Age: 27
# of pregnancies: 2
# of births: 2
Children’s ages: 21 months and 2 months

First off, I think I may be having symptoms of part partum depression, but I’m not sure. I know I should talk to my doctor, but I don’t want to be put on medication. My issues don’t affect my daughters, since I still take care of them just fine, but I find myself sitting around crying all the time because of the way I look now.

I’ve never been a vain person, but I was always made fun of in middle and high school because of being so pale and I wasn’t one of the “rich” kids (we lived in a wealthy neighborhood because my dad built our house, not because they bought it, so I went to a wealthy middle and high school) and well, I’m not sure why else other than that kids are just cruel. I’ve been SO upset about my body since my first pregnancy. I tried so SO hard not to get stretch marks with the first one and managed to stay that way…until the last week. I got preeclampsia with my first daughter so I had to be induced. The induction wasn’t working and they were already predicting her to be a large baby, so it was suggested that I get a C-section. I wasn’t thrilled about ANY of it since I wanted to do things all natural. Let’s just say that everything I PLANNED didn’t happen.

I was beyond thrilled when I saw my daughter for the first time and I loved her immediately, but one look at my body and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. She didn’t want to breastfeed, no matter WHAT I tried, so I didn’t have that venue to lose weight and since I’d had a C-section, I couldn’t do anything for weeks. I tried Pilates, but I don’t have the money to take real classes so the church class I was taking just confused me and left me worse for the wear than before.

I got pregnant again when my first daughter was 10 months old, so that put an end to any form of weight loss. During both pregnancies, I didn’t gain a ton of weight, but I’ve never been a “small” person as it is. I’ve been what I would consider average, but with some extra fat on my hips and thighs (closer to a pear shape). Now – I’m like a deformed apple – it seems like all kinds of extra fat migrated to my midsection during both pregnancies and then you throw in the saggy skin and it’s a recipe for gross.

My partner and I aren’t married (for financial reasons more than anything), but we’ve been together for going on 7 years. Before I got pregnant he never told me things like how beautiful I am, etc. but it didn’t bother me because I didn’t look the way I do now – ruined. If he would have left, I could have started over with someone else no worse for wear. Now, if he left, he walks away looking no different, but what man would want someone who looks like I do because of some other guy??? I feel SO disgusting and all I do is cry, but he just walks off and doesn’t talk or anything until I stop. It’s like ignoring my feelings will make them go away for him. To make things worse, he’s got a complete porn obsession that he doesn’t even hide. How can I compete with the girls in those??? People say that men’s attraction to porn has nothing to do with their attraction or feelings towards their significant other, but I disagree because what’s the point in looking at that stuff unless it’s something they LIKE?? It’s already hard enough since I feel so crappy about myself from being so pale and having unperfect teeth and having extra fat as it is.

People tell me “Well work out and it should tighten to skin” but any exercise I HAD done only made a tiny dent on it and now since I’ve had another daughter, the stretch marks and saggy skin are way worse. I don’t have the money or time to go to a gym and I don’t have the money to buy any at-home exercise stuff. Honestly, I barely have time to do anything because I take care of an almost 2 year old and 2 month old on top of going to school ¾ time online for biotechnology (so it’s not an easy degree program). I could change majors, but then I would just drop out because I’m not going to waste my time getting a degree in something that I don’t really want to do.

You’ll be able to see in the pictures how my belly sticks out more than my boobs now – and I’m a full D size, so that’s saying something.
I just wanted to get all this off my chest and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation with their body and their significant other being an emotional and mental anemic towards them.

Thanks for any suggestions.

Update – Teen Learning to Love Her Body (Faith)

Your Age: 18
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3

Story: It has been three years. I posted my story 3 whole years ago, and I can’t believe time has flown by so fast.
Here is my original post.

What has changed? So much. It is unbelievable. I graduated high school, met two really nice ladies and they let me move in with them, I’m going to school, and I work here and there. Everything is going perfect. I am not with the same person I was with when I posted last. Things happened between us, which is just fine :)

My baby is now three years old, and I get pictures of him once in a while. Thank you women so much for the supportive comments.

I have lost about 40lbs, but I am still working on it.

Photo 1: 3 years PP. Still working on it
Photo 2: Me graduating high school
Photo 3: This is my beautiful son.

Not Quite What I Expected! (Anonymous)

Age: 21
Number of births and pregnancies: 2
Age of my children: 3 yrs and 18 months.

At the age of four I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis or JRA for short. At the age of twelve both my parents and I were told that I would never have children. They said that my body could not handle the extra weight and extra pressure of carrying a baby to full term. At that age you don’t really worry to much about having kids. Your still a kid yourself. But as I got older it really bothered me.

When I was 17 I went to a party with some friends and ended up drinking a little. Little did I know that, that night would change my life forever. I don’t remember much after a little bit and had later come to the conclusion that I had something slipped in my drink. The next memory I have is being taken to my father by a police officer. Of course being 17 and going out without my dad telling me I could, I was in BIG trouble. But it hadn’t quite hit me yet what had happened that night. I didn’t really talk to many people over the next couple of months.

Four months after the fact I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was still in High school. I had no idea what I was going to do. Needless to say I had my first baby at 17. I had a normal pregnancy and a great delivery with no complications at all. I went into the hospital at 7 pm and had him a little past midnight that night.

But with my second child, everything was completely different. In the beginning I assumed I was pregnant but was quite for sure yet. A few days after realizing that there was a possibility I was pregnant, I ended up in the ER. I was having severe cramps in my lower abdomen but knew I wasn’t on my period. My boyfriend and I sat in the ER for 7 hours for them to confirm what we already knew. We scheduled an appointment with the Pregnancy Care Center for a few days later. After they confirmed I was pregnant once again, they scheduled an ultrasound to measure just how far along I was for the following week. My assumptions were right. I was about 4 weeks and a few days pregnant. I was excited, I was having another baby after being told I would never have children.

The following weeks passed with doctor appointments and more ultrasounds. I had started my new job. Unfortunately my job was about an hour drive from where I lived. The drive didn’t bother me unless morning sickness decided to kick in while I was on the road. With my first child I was barely sick at all. At about 9 weeks into my pregnancy I started cramping. I though at first it was just the normal cramping when your uterus is expanding. I was getting ready to leave for work and the cramps were still there. They didn’t hurt that bad and they didn’t bother me to much, so I thought nothing of them. I got to work and got to my desk and was putting my stuff up when an unimaginable amount of pain shot through my entire lower abdomen. I immediately told my supervisor that I needed to leave that something was wrong.

I called my boyfriend and told him I was on my way home and that he needed to take me to the ER. I could tell he was worried. The entire drive home was terrible. I was cramping the entire time and to top it off I was stuck in traffic. This day couldn’t possibly get worse. Little did I know it would. I got home and one of our friends was going with us while her boyfriend watched the kids. We rushed to the hospital as fast we could. We got into the ER and got signed in. They got me triage and with in a few minutes they got back into a room. The nurses immediately get me hooked up to all the necessary machines. I had tubes and cords everywhere. With in a few minutes the doctor came in and asked what was going on. I told him that I was having severe cramps. Of course being early in the pregnancy he told me that they could be from my uterus stretching. But said that they would check everything just to be sure.

The doctor checked my cervix and told me it was still closed. So he ordered an emergency ultrasound. About 30 minutes passed and the nurse came and got me for the ultrasound. I was nervous and upset about the fact that my boyfriend could not go back with me. They got me back to the room and got me up on the chair. The nurse began the ultrasound and of course I am worried out of my mind about my baby. The nurse had the screen turned to where I could what was there. Half way through the ultrasound the nurse moved the screen to where I couldn’t see anything. Finally she was done and they wheeled me back to my room.

It took about 20 minutes and the doctor was in to tell us the news. He looked at both me and my boyfriend and took a deep breathe. Just by looking at the doctors face I could tell everything was not okay. Finally he looked at me and said “I’m sorry but you have a partial placental abruption.” All I could think was what did he just say, what does that mean? My boyfriend squeezed my hand and asked the doctor what he meant. He told us that the placenta that kept my innocent baby alive was pulling away from my uterus. That was what was causing my pain. He told we had about a 50 50 chance of keeping the baby and that there was nothing they could do except put me on bed rest.

All I could do was cry. Was this what my doctors at age twelve was talking about? Was this what they knew would happen? I had so many questions and no answers. So I sat there and cried while the nurses got all the machines off of me and put everything away. The nurses never looked my way never even offered an I’m sorry. My boyfriend just held me and told me everything would be fine. But what if it wasn’t?

The nurses gave us my discharge papers and sent us on our way. We got home and I went straight to bed. I slept the rest of the day and night. I didn’t want to move in fear that I would lose my baby. The next few days went by and I returned to work. Still worried that I was going to lose my baby, I tried to be strong. I had a doctors appointment with in a few days. And he would tell me how I was doing.

We went to the doctor and he said everything was healing nicely. He said that the immediate risk was over and I could stop worrying about losing my baby. He said that he would keep a close eye on me and that I should rest much as I could. So i did as he said and rested with my feet as much as I could. So much as that my work let me have an extra chair to prop my feet on while I was working.

Everything went back to normal except the fact that my morning sickness was all day long now. I couldn’t eat anything with out getting sick. It didn’t matter what it was. So I went through the rest of my pregnancy normally. The weeks passed and we found out we were having another little boy. We were so happy.

More weeks passed and the time for him to make his arrival was getting closer. We started going to more doctor appointments and started getting more anxious. Finally it came time to make a decision on when my doctor would induce me. We went to an appointment and my doctor told us that today’s appointment would decide if he was born the next day and the next week. So he did an ultrasound and was checking the water levels around my son. He got done with the ultrasound and left the room for a minute. He came back in and said ” You need to go to the hospital. The water levels around the baby are low and he needs to be monitored for about 45 minutes to an hour.”

OMG! Please not again. All I could think was, God please don’t do this to me again. We are so close to having him please don’t take him now. We have come this far. So we went home and got our bags and headed for the hospital. When we got there they admitted me and got me to my room. They got me hooked to all the machines and got my baby’s heart beat on the monitor. A little over and hour and the nurse came in and told us I wouldn’t be going home tonight.

The nurses said that they didn’t feel comfortable letting me go home with my sons heart beat dropping like it was. So we got settled in for a long night. Not only were they keeping in the hospital over night but the next morning the were inducing my labor. So we tired to get as much sleep as we could. 6 o’clock came fast and they were hooking pitocin up to my IV line. I went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later. The nurses came in to check me and said that the pitocin was doing what it should but they wanted to increase the dosage. Everything to be going normal.

At about 11 o’clock my doctor came in to break my water and check me. He said that I was dilating normally and that everything to be fine. What I didn’t know was that everything was not fine. At about 1 o’clock my boyfriend and one of my friends that was going to be in the room with me came in. My friend had tears rolling down her face and was bawling her eyes out. While I was up stairs getting ready to have a baby my best friends (my sons godfather) grandfather had passed away. I was so upset and didn’t know what to say to him. But I knew that I couldn’t over work my self because I could put my baby in distress.

About that time I got my epidural and went back to sleep for a while. The next thing I remember is waking up to this sharp pain in between my legs. I ignored it for a while, thinking that it was just the pressure of him moving down. About two hours later the pain was still there only worse. I finally told my friend that a nurse needed to come in here and check me. She went and got a nurse and the nurse said I was only at a 4. She had the anesthesiologist come in and check everything. Everything was fine but they ended up giving me the medicine they use for a spinal tap. So I dealt with the pain for a little bit. Finally I had had enough. They gave me an epidural as well as medicine for a spinal tap and it was supposed to numb all the pain, not cause it. So I called the nurse and she had the anesthesiologist come in and check out my epidural line once again. She checked my line and said that everything was fine. I told her everything was not fine. But being that i was in pain she did an ice test on me. She ran an ice cube across my stomach and down both legs and asked me each time if I could feel the ice. And each time I told her I couldn’t feel anything. So she finally put the ice right in between my legs and asked me if I could feel the ice. “Yes that is cold!” I said to her. She simply told me that I had what they called a hot spot and they couldn’t do anything to help it.

So basically their stuff was not working properly and I had to deal with it. WOW! So I dealt with the pain. After about an hour I called the nurse again and told I was feeling a lot of pressure. She checked me and said that I was only at a 5. She left the room and about 30 minutes later I was calling her back in. She checked me once again and this time I was at a 7. I was so close and by this time the pain was so bad that I was screaming. I had never felt so much pain in my life. It honestly felt worse then the actual contractions. About 3 minutes later I was calling the nurse to come and check me.

The nurse refused to come and check me and told my friend that she was not going to check me every time I felt a little bit pf pressure. Needless to say My friend ended up getting the nurse to check me one last time. This time to her surprise I was at a full 10 cm dilated. She told me she was going to call my doctor. She had been gone about 3 minutes and I was yelling over the intercom that my baby was coming out right now. I knew I needed to push and wanted to so badly. But the nurses had other plans. Instead of me pushing they had me wait until my doctor arrived to deliver my son. Well my son as well had other plans and was trying to be born right then and there. So instead of the nurses delivering my son they put their hand over his head and held his head inside of me until my doctor arrived, which was about 5 minutes later. Finally my doctor showed up and was getting his gear on. He looked around and couldn’t believe that the nurses hadn’t deliver him yet. Finally my doctor sat down in front of me ready to deliver. I looked at my doctor and asked “CAN I PUSH NOW?!”. He laughed at me and told me yes. It took me one and a half pushes to get my son out.

With as many problems as I had during his pregnancy, my son came out to be perfectly healthy. I can honestly say, he pregnancy and birth was not at all what I expected. I guess it’s true when they say every pregnancy and birth is different.

Stomach 2 Years PP (Anonymous)

Age: 31
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children: 2 years old

I regret all the time I spent self-loathing after having my baby. I hated the dark line down my stomach that took over a year to fade away and the stretch marks I got. I also looked like I was still pregnant for a long time. Two years later, the line is gone and the stretch marks turned white and are practically invisible. I still have a pouch and these love handles that just don’t get any smaller but I am finally ok with my body. The only thing is… We want another baby so here we go again!

It takes a long time to heal ladies! Love yourself and be patient.

Trying to be confidant the way I am. (Erin)

Age: 22
2 pregnancies, 2 births
12 months postpartum

I was/am a young mom, I got pregnant at 19 and 145 lbs. (a few months earlier I was closer to 125 but had gained some weight after moving away from home) I gained 50 lbs and it took me 11 months to get back to 145, I stayed there for 2 more months and then got pregnant again. With my 2nd pregnancy I was much more careful about my eating habits and gained 30 lbs. I got back down to 145 around 6 months or so PP, and then I started counting calories and watching what I ate and got all the way down to 128!! I was super excited but got lazy and am currently at 132. I’m 5’4″ so this is a normal weight for my height but I’m not exactly thrilled. I am almost completely happy with my body, except for my saggy boobs which as long as I’m wearing a bra it’s all good and my stomach. I have a huge issue with my stomach. I’ve never had a flat stomach, I always had a slight pooch, but it really bothers me. You know those “belly bands” you wear while pregnant? I have worn one every single day since I had my son in November of 2009. I even fold it over twice so that it’s “tighter” and makes my stomach appear flatter.. Even while I was losing weight my stomach never got smaller after 145 lbs.(I measured) and that is really frustrating for me. I’ve tried cardio and all the ab workouts in the world but it will not tighten up. I’m not trying to be unrealistic and think that I’ll have this amazing rock hard stomach, but I really would love for it to just not have that weird upside down ‘shelf’ thing it has going on :/ anyways, here’s my body, I’m pretty comfortable with it like I said minus the belly.. I guess I just wish that as a 22 year old my body looked more like a lot of the other 22 year old’s haha

But, the best news is a have 2 beautiful children that I love to bits.