Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

It’s amazing how fast your life can change. It can be a matter of minutes, hours, days, or like in my case a matter of 3 months. In may of 2005 I graduated high school, in June I turned 18, and in July I was married. Two weeks after I was married I found out we were pregnant. The first few weeks were fine, then I developed abnormal bleeding that required weekly visit to the hospital for blood work to make sure my HCG levels were rising normally. Around six weeks along, I had my first occurrence of morning sickness. To call it morning sickness is a joke, I had in morning, noon, and night; Everyday for three months. My fourth month the morning sickness vanished and in it’s place I had lots of energy. I felt great. The only problem I had now was family members assuring me, that since I had not gained what they thought was “normal” to be that far along, I should see my doctor to make sure I was still pregnant. They were not satisfied with the answer that I was visiting the doctor and received ultrasounds at all appointments. My sixth month I started having ringing in my ears , things would go black if I stood up to fast, and I was so swollen it was painful. My doctor didn’t think anything about this at first and it wasn’t until about 6 1/2 months that he noticed my blood pressure was abnormally high. I was admitted into the hospital and stayed for two weeks. I then convinced my doctor that with medicine and my husband by my side I would be more comfortable at home in my own bed. I was released with blood pressure med’s, orders to check my blood pressure 3 times a day, and complete bed rest. My doctor also explained to me at that time that I had protein build up in my urine and that my organs were not functioning the way they should anymore. He told me that to let the pregnancy progress any farther would be a danger to the baby and my health. I was scheduled for a cesarean that would come two weeks later. The day of the surgery/birth I was terrified. I was going to the hospital childless and pregnant and coming home not pregnant and with a child. The cesarean was one of the easiest things I had to deal with the whole pregnancy. I was taken back at 10 that morning and was up by 9 that night. At 6 the next morning I was walking around the hospital and could use the bathroom on my own. The nurses told me before that my daughter would probably be NICU. That was not the case, she came out small but healthy and screaming her arrival. When we were released 3 day later, the doctor told me she was in better health than me. I however was in denial about the weight from the pregnancy itself and having toxemia. I gained right at 100 lbs. I was shocked, to go from people saying they couldn’t believe I was pregnant to later being so swollen the nurses were giving me looks of pity. Two days after walking out of the hospital I had lost 50 lbs, and lost more slowly the following weeks…..I gained almost all of it back. I went from 130 lbs to 230 on delivery day, to and now I average around 165 -170 depending on the week of the month. I am not happy with it ( I still have a lot of body image issues!!!), but I am learning I can change it and accept myself at the same time ( I just tuck that loose skin in my jeans, LOL :P ). Here are pics of me now (standing up and laying down)2 years after, one around a month ( about 7 months along) before the delivery ( white shirt), and one at 4 weeks pregnant (red shirt). I have stretch marks from shoulders down, loose skin, and a beautiful daughter! When I first had my daughter I would think to myself, for all the stretch marks I have, my daughter has beautiful smooth baby soft skin. I think it was a even trade.