Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

I’m Still Coming to Terms (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

These photos are of me 6 mo pp with #2. I was 170# pre-pregnancy. I gained 65 with #1. When my first daughter was 15 mo I got pregnant again. This time I gained 35 lbs. I currently weigh 198#s. My belly is sagging and full of stretch marks. When I look at my beautiful girls I don’t care what my stomach looks like. Then I look in the mirror and I am unhappy with what I see. My husband is supportive and tells me he still finds me sexy. I have a hard time believing him sometimes. I am working on my self image and hope to come to terms with my new body soon.






Dunno what to do? (Rocio)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Question, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

Ok first off my name is rocio im 20 yrs old and i have a son thats gna be two in april. I now weigh 170 lbs my before baby weight was about 120 well around there… i had a c-section (and not by choice) sometimes I feel like my boyfriend is still with me because of the baby. I do realize that im not the same person as i was before. there has been allot of life changing events in my life like moving in with my boyfriend, having my fisrt child, moving to a new city (and i know no one at all)… need i say more… i try to motivate my self for diets and calory counting and all that but its so hard for me. There are days that i dont want to do anything except cry. I feel so depressed. Im not sure why i feel like this but it happens. To be honest there are days that i feel wonderful but then there are the days we go out to the mall or some where and we could pass by Victorias Secrect and he could say something like “oh thats so sexy” or just anything and i think to my self yea okay like my fat ass is going to fit in something like that, but i dont say anything to him i just keep walking. I dont want to lose weight for him i wanna do it for me so I can be healthy and play with my play and not get tired so fast. so if you have any advice please help. everything is appreciated!

Almost a Year Later (Tee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Legs, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Almost a year later after baby no. 2 and I still have yet to lose another 12 lbs before I am back to my old self. Motherhood can really take a toll on some peoples bodies, like myself and some escape with the faintest trace that they ever even carried a baby in their bellies. What a blessing! One of lifes small mysteries I suppose. Anyhow I would not change the outcome of the horrific changes my body underwent if it meant not having my lil ones, they were worth every deep, long, stretchmark, lose skin and saddle bags! I have stechmarks all the way from the back of my knees up my inner, front, and outer thighs, and every inch of my abs from the button down is covered with them, my hips have big, deep, long ones as well. Oh and my breast have the little water balloon effect going on (super droopy). But despite all that my hubbie still calls me sexy and loves all of me, the good, bad, and the ugly. What a blessing! Anyways I love, love, love this site. And despite my struggles with loving myself, this site makes it a little easier in knowing that I’m not alone!



Updated here.

Long Hard Road (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom, VBAC 10 Comments

I’ve never been perfect. I know this. But for most of my life I’ve been satisfied with my body. As a teenager I had a wonderful body in my opinion. No, I never fit into those size 0 jeans, but I was curvy, had a pretty flat stomach, and all of this was done with no effort. I could pig out all day for weeks on end and end up losing 5lbs. I adored my 36-26-36 hourglass figure.

I got pregnant with my son when I was 18. I absolutely loved it, but my body didn’t. My sedentary lifestyle wasn’t cutting it anymore and I gained a total of 60lbs before all was said and done. I managed to make it until my 8th month before the stretchmarks started coming, but when they did they came on full force. Suddenly I was covered all across my stomach, my hips, my butt, my thighs, and even on the back of my knees and calves. It was horrendous! After having my son I felt anything BUT sexy. And it didn’t help that I had him by c-section, so my confidence in my body was already shot down because I didn’t even feel like a woman anymore.

I lost a little of the weight but the stretchmarks remained behind as reminders of the wonderful little boy I carried for 9 months. Over time I gained more confidence and soon the stretchmarks faded from red to silver. But my body was still foreign to me and I’ve never felt quite comfortable in my own skin since…

Then almost 2 years later we decide to have another child. I kept my weight gain at a good 38lbs, only got a few more stretchmarks, and for the most part was happy that my body wasn’t falling apart again on me. I had a wonderful successful natural VBAC and regained the confidence in my body and how it worked. I wasn’t broken anymore.

But even that lift in spirits over the mechanics of my body still can’t override my dissatisfaction in the way I look. I keep telling myself that I’ve just given birth 2 months ago. That my body is a result of the beautiful children I’ve brought into this world. That I am beautiful. But every time I look in the mirror I see differently. I see the sagging breasts that have nourished my kids. I see the stretched out, saggy, loose, scarred stomach. I’m no longer that 36-26-36 I used to be. Now I’m 39-39-42. I’m fighting a war with myself. I’ll never be like I used to be and that’s fine with me. But I need to be comfortable at least. I can’t go on afraid to be sexual with my husband or avoiding mirrors when I change clothes. This has to stop.

So I’m traveling down a long hard road on a journey to find myself and the confidence that I used to have in my body. I’m not sure where or when I’ll find it, but I’m working on getting healthier and into shape. One day I’ll finally feel like me again and I can’t wait until that day comes….







Time for a start for health (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

Hello my name is Ashley. I gave birth to my first child my daughter Riley on October 20 2008. I am 26 years old and 5’7 and currently 188 pounds. Days before finding out I was pregnant I was around 148 pounds and actually getting comments from everyone that I looked like I was losing weight. I worked as an office manager for two cosmetic dental practices and was so busy I rarely had time to eat during the day thus began loosing weight. I never once experienced morning sickness just an instant hunger and for the first time in my life craved nothing but sugar. I never ate sugar before becoming pregnant. With my new job I had just stopped working out for about 6 months before becoming pregnant due to working 12 hour days. Long story short I gained a lot of weight this pregnancy and my baby was only 6 pounds 11 ounces. My heaviest weight which was taken at my due date October 17 2008 was 205 pounds. I was induced on October 20 2008. Its now 2 months 15 days and time to start training for health physically outward and inward and mentally.






In Love With Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Birth, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

I posted here nine months ago thinking that I would return loathing my post pregnancy body. Superficially thinking that “recovering” from my pregnancy would be important.

On April 30th ten days late I birthed a 7lb .5oz baby girl gently into my own arms. Not only was I blessed with a healthy child but I also left my daughter’s birth feeling confidant, and accomplished.

Amelia turned 8 months old yesterday and I couldn’t be happier with myself. While my body looks (mostly) unchanged my belly is just soft enough for her to blow raspberries on, my breasts loosened just enough for her to tug while she nurses, and the little stretch mark above my belly button constantly reminds me of how much I have changed in the last year.

I hope everyone that comes here finds as much happiness in her body as I have.

*First photo 39 weeks pregnant
*Second photo Just moments after our daughter was born
*Third Amelia’s first steps in the snow.
*My new and improved self.



36 and Concerned (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I came to this site for two reasons. One is to offer hope. I had my first child at 27 and bounced back well. I lead an unusually active lifestyle at my most sedentary because I have horses, goats, and a bunch of dogs and other animals. I can’t keep still for very long. As a result, I achieved a look I can be proud of about two years after my first child. The photo is me about four years after my first child. This link goes to a photo taken about two years ago.

I hope it offers hope to a few and a reality check for those who need that. I never became Twiggy thin, but the larger breasts and hips became assets because I thought of them that way. To some, this is a picture of a woman who is much too thin. For others, it may be a ray of hope. Either way, it shows that the postpartum body need not be something to feel ashamed of. I’m quite sure this photographer realized I’d given birth and still he felt the picture (NOT airbrushed) was beautiful enough to appear on his web site.

That said, I know genetics played a role and that being older will make it that much harder to achieve the same results, if they can be achieved at all. That brings me to my second reason for being here. I have remarried since that picture, and am a couple of years older. I don’t look appreciably different, perhaps a few pounds heavier. My new husband loves my body and is, in fact, proud to show me off. I want to keep him happy with my body as long as I am able. I also want to offer him another child. He loves me and all three of our collective brood and has a great deal to offer a new baby. I am struggling with these seemingly incompatible desires. I kick myself for being so vain, especially in light of issues like stepsisters, a stepfather, sibling rivalry, education, finances, etc, but I am no more than human.

Most of the women here seem so young to me, and it makes me think “But they are not like me,” even though I know that isn’t necessarily so. That human thing again, trying to make my situation different. I keep wondering if being fully physically adult before having my first made any difference. I look for the older woman who is proud of her postpartum body so I can feel some slight hope, even knowing that I will not be quite the same after another child.

In any case, I will likely continue to do what we as humans love to do-find excuses to do just as we please. I know I will get over changing my body’s shape if I really want that baby. I also know that, whatever the outcome, it will be worth it and my husband will love me regardless.



The REAL Beauty (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

This is my body 11 weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby girl. She saved my life and lifted my soul out of the darkness. I have never seen anything more beautiful than my daughter and every time her tiny hand grasps mine, I see the reason why I am alive. There is no greater gift and love is not enough for how I feel for her. She is everything worth living for and all that is wonderful in this world. A baby is truly a miracle no one can describe. My body cradled her inside of me and now I cradle her in my arms. I will never look the way I did before. My body gave up parts of itself to create this beautiful being. I cry about the fact that I cant wear my old jeans….I feel unattractive and fat every day…..But I realize that these changes gave me HER. So I pick myself up and I put on my jogging pants and keep going. I would give my life for her so what’s a few extra pounds and sagging breasts? Women, you are ALL beautiful. No one is immune to pregnancy changes. Accept that a human body is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be loved. And our children will love us no matter what we look like. That is the beauty of motherhood and the real beauty of being a woman.






Will I ever be confidant again?? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

Hi im 21yrs old. well let me tell you a little bit about my story, me and my husband got married 3yrs ago i was studying and he was working as a truck driver after 2yrs on the pill we decide that we wanted to have a baby i was about to graduate so i stop the pill on 5/2007 and where trying with no luck i got so depress that i drop off from school, i after 7months finally decide to go to a gynecologist, she gave me a calendar and told me to follow my ovulation dates and gave me 3 months to try that. It worked i got pregnant the month after we were so exited. My pregnancy was great i didn’t gain any weight and my baby girl was in perfect condition then the eight month came along i started having more appetite gaining 2 to 3 pounds a week it was horrible my body started stretching everywhere. At 37 I start to have hight blood pressure and i was going to the hospital everyday my due date was November 27 but i wanted to have her the 11th on my bday but the 16th came along i started having contractions at 1am i was 38 weeks, my water brake at 9am i was dropping so slowly that i spend the hole day with contractions i didn’t wanted to have an epidural so i felt everything i got the 9cm at 5:15pm and thats when i started pushing FINALLY!!! while i was pushing i felt my skin stretching and burning my baby girl was born at 5:53pm so i had her pretty fast. She tear me and i got 5 stitches but i was all better in 4 days. Now my daughter is a month and i LOVE her so much shes my life, but i see my body and i feel horrible i cry everyday when i see my self in the mirror even my face is fat, and its not only the skin or the stretch marks its the back damage that i got from my breast and belly. will my body get better or will it stay like this. I’m waiting on my gynecologist to give me the permission to exercise. I’m happy to see that im not alone in this. my husband says that he doesn’t care but i think that if let myself be like this and i don’t do anything he will find someone that looks better but i mainly do it for me i want to feel happy with my body like i used to. I’m attaching a picture of how i used to be,my 7 months, 38 weeks and one month pp.