Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Hoping for a Miracle (Michelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Age: 25
Pregnancies: 5 (3 miscarriages, 1 a set of twins) Births: 1
Age of children: almost three, 6 weeks pregnant

Growing up I was never sure if I wanted children. I was not sure if I had the patience. I met my husband my freshman year of college. We dated for about 7 months and we found out we were pregnant. We were shocked. My first appointment I was told I was only about 4 weeks along – all we saw was a yolk sac. At my next appointment (4 weeks later) There was a fetal pole, it was measuring 6 weeks, but I was told not to be concerned by the discrepancy. Fast forward three weeks and I started cramping and spotting. A trip to the emergency room later I was told I was miscarrying. They gave me pain medicine, sent me home, and scheduled a D&C. The next day I was back in the emergency room. They hospitalized me while I passed “the embryonic tissues.” Two months later me and my husband married. Three months flew by and we decided to start trying to get pregnant. My first appointment was fine, they tested by hcg levels over 4 days and they were increasing as they should… 2 weeks later, another miscarriage. We decided that we were going to wait to try to get pregnant again. One night, one thing led to another and we did not use any protection. Thank god. Because 9 months later our beautiful baby girl was born. I had an interesting pregnancy. I have type 1 diabetes (juvenile onset, insulin dependent), had extra amniotic fluid through much of my pregnancy (which I would like to think contributed to the 70 lbs I gained – lol), and went into premature labor twice (due to the abnormally small size of my uterus and the stress from the extra amniotic fluid). I ended up having a “non-emergency emergency c-section” (yes you are reading that right – that is how the doctor referred to it) after our daughters heart rate dropped multiples time during my induction. Our daughter was in the special care nursery for 4 hours before they would let me see her (her oxygen levels were low due to a hold in her heart). Four days later (after my daughter was treated for jaundice) we were released from the hospital. The hole in her heart healed on its own and she is thriving. She is now a rowdy 3 year old red head (she has the temper to match). Recently me and my husband decided we should try for another baby. Five months ago We found out I was pregnant. We were ecstatic. Two weeks later, I miscarried – a set of twins. Heartbreak. Two weeks ago, I found out I am pregnant. Evidently I don’t have a problem getting pregnant – just staying pregnant. I am now 6.5 weeks pregnant. I had an ultrasound two days ago and we saw a heartbeat. I am scared as hell, but already in love with this tiny baby inside of me. Here’s hoping for another miracle!

picture 1: me 32 weeks pregnant with my daughter
picture 2: our beautiful baby girl
picture 3-5: me today, almost 3 years postpartum and 6.5 weeks pregnant.

Updated here.

Finding a Body that I Love (Quila)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I was very excited when I ran into this website while surfing the web at work! I’m having a very bad experience with my post baby body. I’m 21 years of age, a full-time student, and I work a full-time job(life). I was never a “skinny girl”, but I have also never been at the point where I am now. To be honest my biggest issue is my stomach. I describe it to others as having extra skin from pregnancy. Having a stomach like this has ruined my life. Normally I am a very self confident girl, but now I can honestly say that in my opinion things have truly changed for the worst. My stomach hangs down, almost touching my vagina. Is this normal, or is there something wrong with me? Should I see a doctor about this? If so what type of doctor? I’m 18 months pp, just so that we are on the same page. I have never really been the “active” type. The last time that I have ever exercised was in the 9th grade (7years ago). I understand that now is the time to gradually start. My goal weight is 140 pounds. My pre-pregnancy weight was about 190 pounds, post pregnancy I was 253. My current weight is somewhere in the 230’s. My question is… What do I need to do in order to get rid of this saggy stomach. I don’t want a “six pack”, which I don’t mind having, but I also don’t want this extra stomach! It is humiliating. My extra large shorts don’t fit, my pants fold down under the stomach. Things have gotten to a point where I not only look pregnant, but I also look sloppy! This is a very sensitive, and depressing topic for me, as I like a lot of other moms am not used to the sudden body change. HELP!! I love my daughter to death, and I would not trade her for the best body, or for all of the money in the world. I just hope that it is not to late for me. I cannot afford tummy tucks, and Liposuctions. I’m not going to focus this post on how sorry I feel for myself, and how miserable I am, because I’m not completely sure that I really feel that way at all. I guess that I just needed a place to come for help. I hate the love handles, the fat face, and the bloated feeling I get after eating. I went from clothing size 11-12 to a 16/18-20. What is my body going through? I feel upset with myself, because it’s kind of like I had no progress at all with this, and after 18 months I still find myself “unhappy” with who I am! Of course my husband calls me beautiful, but it doesn’t help if I really do not feel the same way about myself. I want change for me, I want to be able to run, and wear bikini’s again! Life is hard enough being the sole provider of the family, but it really sucks when you’re unhappy with yourself! I did not have a C- section, I had a vaginal birth. I’ve never had the saggy, or bloated stomach before. Most of my weight was in my hips, and thighs (Toned). What should I do guys?

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy/ 1 vaginal birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 18 month old Daughter

Post C-Section Belly at 7 Months (Shaunna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 6 Comments

I am a 25 year old woman, who had her first baby delivered back in March via c-section. After 12 hours in labor and a dropping fetal heart rate, the doctors decided c-section was the way to go.

Since the c-section, I have had the hardest time trying to get my stomach back to where it was. Aside from the uncomfortable bulging and bloating around the site, my once smooth stomach is now also stretched, purple and flabby. By all appearances, I have lost the baby weight. I run 2 miles a day, and incorporate weights 3 times a week. However, I am still breastfeeding my son, and my stomach as you can plainly see, still looks like a post pregnancy belly.

While at first my self esteem plummeted, I have to admit, the new look has grown on me. It’s not what I am used to, but I have such an extraordinary son. He just lights up my whole life. My husband swears to me he still thinks I am beautiful. I tear up when I think of what an amazing vessel my body is, to have nourished, grown and birthed our amazing child.

SO, that being said… I wish I could hug all the moms that look in the mirror and aren’t always thrilled. However, sites like this are so awesome due to the acceptance that is promoted. I really don’t think I could stand it if I heard of one more woman who stopped eating because she didn’t like her body. I wish there were more being done to promote healthy, happy women and less self consciousness.

Being a Super Mom (Bree K)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 9 Comments

Pregnancies: 6
Births: 3
Children: Twins 3 & a baby 2 months

I know there are many women on here. You come from all walks of life. However there are two things we have in common… we are unhappy or saddened by our bodies and we love our children.
Being a mother at a young age (20) I gave birth to twins a boy and girl (Johnathan & Allison.) After trying for so long to have a baby god blessed us with two. Now going on 4 yrs. this Christmas they have been my life. After having the twins I was very insecure with my body and didn’t’ find myself attractive… sound familiar ladies? So what I did was have my hubby take pictures of me, to see what I look like threw his eyes. It worked. I felt amazing after I saw the pictures and I realized that I wasn’t suppose to be ashamed of my body, but embrace it. It was after all what I prayed to god for. He gave me what I dreamed of. I know that it’s difficult to look in the mirror and think to yourself, “Wow I have a kick ass body.” Let’s face it ladies, there are very few of us who can do that.

After just having my second son, (Zach) on Aug. 2-10, I have been working my butt off to lose weight. I only gained 10 pounds with him and I gained 8 with the twins. After I had my twins I thought to myself that I missed my smooth skin, the non Freddy Couger look that I carry around my stomach now. But I was so thankful to have them, it no longer mattered. That is until my clothes were off. Here I am three kids later and I know that my tummy will always look like a nightmare. However there are things we can do about the looks. For many of us we cannot afford tummy tucks or breast lifts…. but here are a few helpful hints to get that new mama body back into shape. For those of us who are blessed with the breastfeeding boobies, I have found that push ups work wonders for giving our girls a lift. The tummy, well that’s a little harder. I’m still working on that one myself, but I have found that running, biking and a combo of other exercises do help decrease the flabbiness of the tummy and underarms, (batwings.)

Our children are what drives us to be better, what not let our husbands, boyfriends be the reason to get back into shape? That is what is driving me. I want to look better and feel sexy in my own skin. It’s time we got used to our new bodies and embrace them. I’m a bigger lady and I wear my skin with pride… on most days… think of stretch marks as battle scares of motherhood. The belly bulge as a reminder that you carried a human being for months and you brought him/her/them into this world healthy. You did that. Be proud mama, you deserve a little happiness. Next time you go into a public place, take a look around you. Look at the women. Today’s world is changing. There are many of us out there who are feeling the same way, but if you look closely you can see that we are the real women… not the women the public wants us to be. We are mothers and as such, we should embrace it. Be proud to be a mama and our bodies that our little ones gave us. I truly hope this post helps some of you, that this gives you ambition, hope and inspiration. I’m attaching some pictures of pre-pregnancy and post par tum along with my three children.

At the end of it all (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 1 Comment

Previous entry here.

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: pregnancy #3/Birth #2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 16 months and currently 36 weeks

My first was born shortly afer my first submission. She was suppose to be our last, our only-but there were other plans in motion. At first we weren’t thrilled at the prospect of having two little ones, but as my pregnancy progressed we the same feeling of excitement. Our daughter still has no clue that her life is going to change, but she will soon enough. I have run the gambit of emotions. I have managed to still stay strong.

My first go-around was very easy going-lots of energy, no morning sickness, gentle movements from the life within me. This time my pregnancy has been plauged with morning sickness, lack of energy, and movements that have caused brusing, but you know what-I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world. These are the times that I relish, just me and this growing little one (even when the random little body part ends up in my hips or ribs). My heart is a little sad that this is our last one-for real, but I will always cherish these moments. I have strongly felt that everthing happens for a reason, sometimes we just don’t see it right away. My first was born to soften the blow of losing my father. This little one is a blessing in some cosmic way for us. As much as I enjoy pregnancy, I can’t wait to meet this little person.

Unsatisfied (Renee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 8 Comments

#1 pregnancy
3 months Postpartum

First of I am glued to this site. I love this site.

I am so happy to have a baby boy. He is the cutest baby ever.

I got pregnant when I was 23 and Had my baby when I was 24 on July 4, 2010.

He was a healthy baby of 9lb 7 OZ. I had him vaginally and he ripped me pretty bad(4th degree tear) needless to say my body will never be the same. I had a hard time recovering i couldn’t even sit on my butt for a month. Finally I can be more active and i actually have to start work on sat in hopes to loose all my weight. I am 5’11 and was about 135LBS when i got pregnant very slim. When I gave birth I was 192LBS (Gained 52Lbs) coming out of the hospital I was down 30LBS. I am at my 3 months Postpartum and I cant seem to loose any weight. I am walking daily, eating smaller portions, and working out (minimally). Can anyone tell me good news? My sister was very lucky she is a toothpick she had her baby and after 5 months was back to her skinny self. What can i do to be back to myself? What can i DO?

1rst-5 Pic is me at 3 months postpartum
6-8 Pic is me Pre-pregnancy
9-10 Pic is my handsome baby boy!

Updated here.

My entire story…hoping it will give somebody hope or simply put a smile on somebody’s face. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Birth, First Pregnancy, Homebirth, Submissions, Teen Mom 30 Comments

~Age: 17, almost 18
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 incredible birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 23 weeks

I was 16 years old when I found out I was 2 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend, who was/still is my best friend, was 18 at the time and we were both mortified and at a loss for words when the fourth pregnancy test that I took read ” + “. I’d never thought that I would be “one of those girls” that I was always so quick to judge–I knew nothing about how much it takes to bring a life into this world. I told my mom the day after I found out and she told my dad that night…I’ll never forget the day after. It seems like I didn’t say anything to anybody that day besides saying the word ‘yes’ to my dad when he worked up the guts to ask me if I was scared. I immediately decided that I was going to give my child a fair shot at life and I started researching different ways to give birth. It only took a few days for me to decide on doing a completely natural home water birth, it was time to grow up and do what was best (in my opinion) for my baby. No ultrasounds, no drugs of any kind, just love, a peaceful environment and positive thinking.

Despite all of the remarks and rude comments that I got for wanting to give birth that way, I knew that it was what I wanted to do and I was determined to make everything go the way that I wanted it to. I decided very early on to eat an organic, protein rich, hearty and healthy diet for the months that followed. I got pregnant in mid July and I moved across the country that November with my family and boyfriend. A few months passed, and with his family pressuring him daily to move back by them and leave me, my boyfriend caved and moved 1,000 miles away from me and our unborn child. (We stayed together, though it was extremely difficult, and he’ll be moving back in with my family and I in the next few months.) As time went on I got more and more excited to go into labor and after about 7 months of positivity, support and spectacular chiropractic care, I was fearless. I knew exactly how labor was going to go and I knew what to expect as if I’d already done it all in a past life.

Exactly 1 week after my due date at 3:54 a.m. my contractions woke me. They were very subtle but I knew that day, April 16, 2010 was going to be the day that I would finally be face-to-face with the mysterious creature that was my child. Like I said, I had no ultrasounds or testing of any kind during my pregnancy so I was even more anxious about finding out if I was going to have a Dominic or an Ava. Contractions barely grew stronger over the following hours until I was in the grocery store 8 hours after they’d begun and I had to squat in the freezer section to breathe through my first ‘painful’ contraction. Things started moving along so I hurried home with my mom, a.k.a. my birth coach&birth partner, and called my midwife. I told her that I was starting to feel uncomfortable and I needed her around. As I was waiting for her to get to my house, my mom and I prepared the birthing tub and all of the things that would be needed for cleanup afterwards. My midwife got there 9 hours after contractions had started and things were really starting to move along. I went from squatting and holding the island in the kitchen to the handle of the back door, and finally to a pile of pillows in my bedroom as I moaned through my contractions. 10 hours into labor, my water broke and contractions were so unbelievably strong after that, they took my breath away. By the time my midwife checked my cervix, I was 8cm dilated and ready to climb into the birthing tub.

I squeezed my moms hands as I spiraled my hips in the warm water and ‘moo’d through my 90 second long contractions with only 30 seconds between them. Before I knew it I felt the undeniable urge to push that everybody always told me about, but it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. There was such an incredible life force moving through my body and as I screamed (not because of the pain but because the sound was literally being pushed out by my body) I felt my baby’s head starting to crown. One contraction later, it’s beautiful head had been born and the body was still kicking and squirming around inside of my body. I laughed as I felt my child’s beautiful dark brown hair under water and said “Baby! Stop kicking!!”. 3 powerful contractions and 10 minutes later, after 12 life changing hours of labor, my incredible child was fully submerged in the water. All 8lbs 11oz and 21inches of my beautiful child was gently unwrapped and able to unfold in the warm tub. I reached my hands down to pull my baby up to my chest and as I was still in shock, I asked “Is it a girl or a boy?!?!” My midwife simply said “Why don’t you reach down and feel?” And as soon as I did, I cried “She’s my Ava!”. With a huge sigh of relief I threw my head back and my proud mama (who is now also a proud grandma) splashed water on baby Ava’s back and cried with me. I got out of the tub and crawled in to my own warm bed with my new baby and latched her on to my breast for the first time.

I was completely healed in 2 1/2 weeks. No cuts, no drugs, no stitches, no doctors. Just love. My daughter is my world and I will always remember every detail of this story. I hope that another young mom reads this and realizes that regardless of what people say or do, you are perfectly capable of doing exactly what you want. Anything is possible if you work for it.

Melissa’s Story (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 8 Comments

Hi fellow mommies. I recently was looking on the internet and came across this wonderful site. I kinda felt like I was the only woman in the world that had two babies and had a body like mine. My belly seems to sag and I just cant seem to cope with that. My husband is so fit and I feel so unfit. I eat very healthy and exercise daily. Ive recently started the workout program Insanity. Ive lost 12 pounds. I still have 3 weeks to go. Its a 60 day program. So I guess thats not bad. My youngest is 6 months and my other daughter is 2 and a half. With both of them i went up to 190. Im down to 157 right now but I just dont feel sexy any more. Im 24 years old and feel so unhappy with my body. Do any of you ladies have any advice on how to tone up the belly? All photos are from Sept.26th 2010

Melissa
24
Two pregnancies, Two births
6 months PP on second pregnancy

I Made Them and They Made Me (Tanya Rose)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

There was a time when I pranced around no bigger than a minute and cute as a button. Then at 15 years old, I became pregnant with my first son. I was 92 lbs. and throughout my pregnancy I was forced to gain weight by my Dr. because I was “underweight”. I did as I was instructed and gained 46 lbs. Little me delivered a 9lb.baby boy via c-section. I bounced back quickly and after 9 months, I was 93 lbs. and expecting baby boy number two. At 17, I vaginally delivered my 10 lb. baby boy.

After, the c-section and getting so big with my 10 lb. baby, my 17 year old body was shot. At 17, this is not the way your body was supposed to look. Although, I lost my weight, my body was stretched and saggy. Life went on, but I was always self conscious about my body image.

Years later, I was in a relationship with the man that I married. We were expecting an oopsie in January 2001. It took me having to bury my son at 17 weeks gestation and a late miscarriage one year later, for me to say to myself that these babies are too precious to worry about body image. I would give anything to just have a baby. I no longer cared what my body looked like or what aches and pains I would endure, I just wanted a baby. Three weeks after my D&C, I was expecting my 4th son. I had another miscarriage after him and then I was expecting my 5th son. After mine and my husbands divorce, we were expecting once again, another oopsie, number 6. Our after divorce relationship only lasted until my 6th son was 3 weeks old. Divorces are always for a reason.

Six boys later, eight pregnancies later, I was single and my body image was once again an issue. What man in his right man would want a woman with so much luggage and an after baby body like mine?
I found him when I wasn’t looking. He has five children himself. Even with his encouragement about the fact that my body was just fine. I still wanted to lose weight, I even bought myself a breast augmentation. I knew that the new and improved boobies would divert attention away from my mid-section.

Three and a half years later we are expecting a baby any time now. Someone on my pregnancy forum posted your site. It was the most wonderful thing I have seen. SOAM opened my eyes again and widely this time. A mother’s body is beautiful. It’s not airbrushed, it’s real. I realized that I am left with the marks that show I am blessed and that my body is able to do the most amazing thing in existence, Create life. I have a new found love for my body. I know there are many women who would sacrifice anything to have a family and it is just not possible for them. Therefore, I am grateful.

I am 30 yrs. old
This is my 9th pregnancy, 7th birth
The ages of my children are, 14, 12, deceased 8-10-00, 8,6, soon to be 4, and baby due 10.22.10

I can not wait to share postpartum pictures.

Thank you for everything, especially this site.