3rd baby-stillborn 40 weeks (Anonymous)

Our beautiful baby girl was sill born Jan.26, 2007. We had no idea that she would not be coming home with us that day. We were scheduled for a c-section (my 2nd one) she was breech just like her brother before her. My 1st baby was textbook and a vaginal delivery. She was moving around just fine the night before so when the Dr. told us that there was no heartbeat and that we would be delivering a stillborn baby we were devastated. The cord had 2 knots and was wrapped 4 times around her neck. She was fully formed and beautiful. We are still healing, but take great comfort in knowing that God had a special purpose for her: there were several women who spoke of a healing and closure that came from her funeral or from holding her shortly after her birth. We are looking forward to meeting her in Heaven again one day.

(the image is beautiful, yet very sad, so I made this one a link)
View image

Updated herehere and here.

149 thoughts on “3rd baby-stillborn 40 weeks (Anonymous)

  • Tuesday, November 13, 2007 at 3:52 pm
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    Thank you for sharing your story & showing us your beautiful little angel. I can relate as I just lost my 1st baby at 37 weeks less than a week ago. My heart aches with yours & with all the other ladies who have lost their little angels.

  • Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 9:28 am
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    im sorry about ur loss and to let u know ur not alone i lost my son at 29.4 weeks gestation but its been almost 2 years that i lost him and i miss him more and more each day i dont think any1 could ever get over that but yes god did have a purpose for the babies and its hard to say but till this day im scared to get pregnant becuz im scared it will happen again

  • Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 7:55 pm
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    Sorry to hear of your loss. I myself have had 2 stillborns they were my second and third pregnancy at 24 &30 weeks i have gone on to have healthy little girl it was the most terrifying time of my life being pregnant with her and anything that didn’t feel right i was at the doctors straight away I too was scared of this happening again. my losses don’t get easier with time i believe that they never will.Take your time to work out what is best for you.

  • Friday, November 30, 2007 at 9:10 am
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    Just reading your message, So sorry about your beauitful baby girl. I know how hard it is i believe that one day we will all meet again in a trouble free life.
    Myself and my husband have lost our son (still born) at 38weeks, Harry John, beautiful big baby 9lb 10oz. still waiting results of post mortem.
    We are trying to concieve again,
    Keep strong, Adele xx

  • Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 11:35 am
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    Hey there,
    I am so very sorry for your loss-I came upon your website while trying to find some form of comfort-My husband and I delivered our precious baby girl on Sep. 4th 2007, just 3 months ago and every single day is so hard-we had no idea-I had actually went to the doctor stating her movements had slacked 1 week before I delivered and he said I was fine and she was fine but I was in labor for 6 hours and no one had any idea not even the doctors-one minute my husband was ready to cut the umbilical cord, ready to hold our baby girl and in that same very second our whole world came crashing down.. She is our first child and I know she is in heaven and we will see her again, and that helps but it still hurts so bad-I know that people handle things differently so no I may or may not know exactly how you feel, but just know that your not alone….God Bless you and your family!!!

  • Friday, December 28, 2007 at 8:32 am
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    My sister’s best friend’s daughter is in labor right now with a stillborn little girl. She went to the doctor yesterday and everything was fine but early this morning she started to go into labor and they cannot find a heartbeat. They did an ultrasound of the baby’s heart and they said it was not beating. She is 9 days over her due date. This is their first baby and I just saw her on Christmas day! She was so excited and beautiful. I lost my 19 year old son in a car accident and I don’t wish this grief on anyone…I am crying for them now as this brings up so many painful thoughts and memories of what they have to come. Please pray for Brittany and Brian and their baby girl Brylee.

  • Friday, December 28, 2007 at 10:49 pm
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    You baby girl was so beautiful. I’m am so sorry for your loss. I too just lost my baby boy Xavier Franciso Moreno at 39 weeks due to a true knot in his umbilical cord. I felt him moving the day before my appointment where the doctor told me there was no heartbeat. When he told me that I felt like I died myself. I never imagined loosing one of my children. Xavier was my 3rd child. I will always wonder how he would. Its been 2 months and it still feels like it was just yesterday.

    Our angels are with the Lord and one day I know we will be reunited with them. In the meantime they will watch over us and occasionally visit us in our dreams.

    Thank you for sharing your story and beautiful picture of you baby girl.

  • Monday, December 31, 2007 at 6:39 pm
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. You have a beautiful baby girl. I too know your pain. I delivered a stillborn baby girl on Nov 15th. I was 37 weeks and she was 6lbs 1oz. People saw her moving in my belly just two days before i delivered. We found out when my water broke and we rushed to the hospital and the nurse said there was no heartbeat. We too were devasted for this was our first baby. Fear not because our babies are in a better place smiling down on us and we will be with them one day!

  • Friday, January 4, 2008 at 3:23 pm
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    I feel your pain. My daughter was born stillborn in September 1995. It still feels like yesterday.

  • Wednesday, January 9, 2008 at 3:45 pm
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    I really feel for you. My sister-in-law went in to labour on christmas eve (her due date was christmas day). She was told there was no heart beat and had a beautiful daughter, Holly, still born on christmas day. We will never forget our christmas angel! I wish there was something I could do to ease her pain. Janaury 9th 2008

  • Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 2:42 pm
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    Your site has help me in my moment of pain. My sister just found out last night that her baby had passed on, with just 6 weeks left to her due date. My heart is broken for them and all of you who have had to go through this tragic event.

  • Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm
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    My first child, a son Evan Clements Maynard was stillborn on Christmas Eve at 41 weeks 3 days gestation, he was perfectly healthy the day before, I went into labour, went to the hospital and they could not find a heartbeat.
    We have a picture perfect pregnancy and thus far the autopsy has not shown any possible cause so we are just left with giant question marks as to how this can happen.
    It terrifies me that my entire world can blown apart in a microsecond, I want a family more then anything but I am just horrified at the possibility of this happening again. Especially when we don’t know how Evan died this time. Cord and placenta were both normal and fine, baby or I had no infections, he had no birth defect so we are left with these giant question marks.
    Its so hard.

  • Friday, January 18, 2008 at 8:51 am
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    Losing your child is very painful.I lost my beautiful daughter on december 7 2007. Not a minute goes by that i dont think about her asking “What if?”

  • Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 6:24 pm
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    so sorry for ur loss. my name is sharon and im 21. i had a beautiful baby daughter Addison Beth on the 2nd of jan 2008 but she was stillborn.my due date was the 25th of jan 2008. i was told 2wks before i gave birth that the heart had stopped…
    i cant stop crying,i miss her so much…
    do time really heal???

  • Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 2:00 am
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    I know what you are going through. I lost my baby last week (25/02/2008) – i was 7 months pregnant and didnt feel him move on sunday, monday when i went to the doctor, His had no heart beat, they had to do the ceaser that evening. It is still so hard for me, i miss my baby boy so much

  • Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 8:01 am
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    I lost my first baby boy Osker on March 19th at 37 weeks. No reason why that they can tell, just went in for my weekly checkup and his heart had stopped. It’s soooo hard,I just feel like such a failure. I hate it that web sites like this have to exist but it does make me feel better knowing that we are all here for one another. So sorry about everyones loss. I loved hearing though about healthy happy babies born after somthing like this happens. Good luck for everyone trying again and best wishes and BIG HUGS to anyone that somthing like this has ever happened too.

  • Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:13 pm
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    I lost my third child at 39 weeks on August 13th 2001. She was also alive and kicking all day and then i thought my waters had gone so i went in to have her only to be told she had died. Its so hard to explain to anyone the pain that you go through constantly. The picture of your baby is so beautiful, Although Hollie died on the 13th it took three days to have her, therefore her pictures are beautiful to me but not so pleasant for anyone else to see, so its hard to share her with anyone.I have since had another beautiful daughter Faye, and i can honestly say time is a healer but i still think of Hollie every day. God Bless you and be proud to show off your beautiful baby.

  • Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm
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    I know how these mothers feel. I lost my baby girl who was born still on april 8 2008. I went in for a level 2 ultrasound on wednesday april 5th and everthing was normal. We saw her heart beating nice and strong. I went the following Monday 4-7-08 and my ob could not find her heartbeat. It is the most devasting thing to hear “im sorry but your baby has died”. I went to the hospital that same day to be induced and delivered her vaginaly the next day. I feel so alone the sight and sounds of a new baby is just too much for me right now. I would like to have another child but is too afraid of this happening again. My heart aches for the daughter I lost.

  • Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 2:30 am
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    My prayers are with you!
    Your baby is so beautiful…thank you for sharing her with us….
    My niece just lost her first son at 40 weeks, with no known reason as of yet…
    It is so horrible and so very hard to accept or understand….My heart goes out to all!

  • Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 10:43 am
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    I’m sorry for all of you women who has lost your little angels…My heart goes out to each and every one of you. My sister-in-law just lost her 2nd child 2 days ago.( Stillborn) I wanted to know are there any support groups because right now she does not want to talk to anyone and she is very depressed which is understandable.If anyone knows of any please post.Thanks

  • Friday, April 25, 2008 at 10:53 am
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    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Your story is so very similar to mine. Jan. 21, 2008 I went in to be induced. My daughter, Breylie, didn’t have a heartbeat. Just days before all was fine. I delievery her 6 hours after finding out she died. She have her umbilical cord around her neck and she had a true knot in her cord also. She was 8 lbs. 1 oz. and so very preicous. Just knowing we will see her someday keeps us going…

  • Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 4:15 pm
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    I’m so so so sorry that all of you have had to go through this. I lost my second dear daughter at 36 weeks on 27 February 2008. I had been in terrible discomfort for weeks and I got 1 million reasons for why it was normal to feel so uncomfortable. In truth, I had too much fluid, and had too much fluid for a while, and my baby passed away before in the 48 hours that passed after an office visit, but before the ultrasound. WHen I was leaving the office visit two days before I lost my baby girl, the receptionist asked me when I wanted to go for my u/s. i said as soon as possible. But it was too late.

    We do all have little angels, and we WILL see them in HEAVEN again someday.

    I pray that all of you heal and find the answers you’re looking for. We have to be strong for our other loved ones.

    Tomorrow I am going to get the puppy I’ve always wanted, a cavalier king charles spaniel. I am pretty excited.

  • Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 5:37 pm
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    I am so sorry for everyones losses.I too understand all of your pain. I lost my daughter just 2 days before my due date on March 25, 2008. I went into labor with her only to arrive at the hospital and have the nurses tell me that she was gone. I’m devestated beyond belief. My husband, son and I were so prepared for her. Her room sits empty and I cry for her all the time. She was absolutely perfect in every way, dark hair and perfect full lips. I miss her more than words can explain. I hope everyone finds peace and happiness someday. We all have very special angels in heaven and will see them again someday. For now, they are with us always, watching over our families. God Bless everyone.

  • Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 11:39 am
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    As i read everyones comments my heart breaks even more because it has made me realize we are not alone. It seems a stillborn baby is way too common.
    My baby girl was stillborn on 1st May 2008 at 40 weeks & 2 days. She was 8 pounds 3 oz and 20 1/2in long.
    I know we all grieve daily for our little ones and i don’t ever think it will get any easier. She was our first child that we wanted so badly. She was an extremely active baby that ended up getting her cord tied around her neck. We really want to have another child, but just the thought of it happening again is very scary. We all have so many unanswered questions, but all we need to remember is that our little angels are waiting for us and love us so much.

  • Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 9:22 am
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    Hi,
    My heart too is soooo broken. My sweet, precious Emmanuel Gabriel was born still on May 23, 2008, 3 weeks before his due date. He was 6lbs, 7ozs and 19 inches long. His umblical cord was twisted at his navel. He was extremely active the night before and the next morning I went into labor only to go to the hospital and be told that “there is no heartbeat”. I don’t understand why he was taken, but God knows. It is hard to accept but God still knows. I don’t know what His purpose or plan is, but there has to be one. I am comforted to know that one day we will see him again. My husband had such a beautiful dream of a Shepherd dressed in white with a staff in His hand. He was surrounded by lots of little white (purity) lambs. The Shepherd blew on His whistle and all the lambs came running to Him and He took the time to hug and to hold each lamb in His arms. Be comforted for we shall see them again on Heaven’s sweet shore.

  • Friday, May 30, 2008 at 6:57 pm
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    I went to the doctor on April 29, 2008 for my 39th week check-up and my baby’s heartrate was 145 and two days later I returned to the doctor for something else and they went to check the baby’s heartbeat and we could not find it the nurse then took me to the ultrasound room to check the heartbeat I knew something was wrong when they left the room to get the doctor chills came over my body. The doctor came in and told me their was no heartbeat and I was in total shock I told them I had to call my boyfriend. After six calls in a row I told him that the baby was gone and come pick me up. I delivered my son Mason on May 4, 2008 he was 7 lbs and 6 ounces and 21 inches long. I am so devastated that my baby boy is gone and can barely get out of bed somedays, but I just trust that God is taking care of him and I will be with him again someday. Thank you all for sharing your stories and letting me share mine.

  • Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 11:43 am
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    I logged on because I feel alone..alone with my loss and my deep dark thoughts; and what I found was a world where stillbirth all too often happens. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories and for the lovely picture. It is a “club” no one hopes to belong to but everyone I tell of my own loss,unfortunately has a similar story to tell . We lost our daughter in Sept 2006 at 7 months. It was our first child and we were really looking forward to having her. No reason, her heart just stopped. It seems impossible to move on and I am so scared to have another baby. I can’t even get pregnant now. May time and god heal us all.

  • Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 5:19 am
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    hay im so very very sorrey for you loses i am not a mother i have 8 nieces and nephews and couldent imagin loosing one of them my friend at the age of 16 this year 3 months ago lost her baby still born he had the cord around his neck two times and a note in it once with his little hand inside the cord like he was pulling at it i saw him he wasent a pritty baby because he was decomposing but if you looked beond that he was buitiful i hope everything goes well for you and let your self feel the pain because it is a tramatic time for you and so hard best wishes

    Josy:

  • Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 10:09 pm
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    May God bless you and your family and help you daily. 3 weeks ago on May 12, I went to the dr cause I hadn’t felt the baby move that day.It was 2weeks from the due date, and there was no heartbeat, he was gone. Placental abruption is all we know till after the autopsy. Our baby boy is with Jesus now.

  • Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 10:47 pm
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    My daughter lost her baby boy Brody on April 25th 2008. He had five weeks to go. The cord was wrapped twice around the ankle and knee. We are all so devistated. I worry about my daughter so much, yes she is young 20. Many years to have children but will she be able to move on? I have pictues of my grandson that I will always cherish. He is my first Grandson and being that I have five kids I know I will be a grandmother one day. I two have a three month old that makes it hard. In my mind I want to give my little baby to her so she won’t ache? is this normal? Does time really heal? She tries so hard to put a smile on her face as she doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She just wants to move on. Do you think it’s harder on someone that has actually experienced motherhood? or does that even matter.

    Feel free to email me with comments as we need them!

    shannahunter@hotmail.com

    God Bless you and your family!

  • Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 11:42 am
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    May God bless you all mothers in this site. I, too have lost my baby boy Rivers Daniel H. on Feb.26,2008. Day before I had a Dr.appoint. and everything was fine. Next day woke-up and did not feel the baby move. His umbillical cord was kinked at his navel.38 weeks. I find myself 4 months later, missing him tremendously, trying to face the world without tears, and realizing that people around me at work avoid my subject (which is ok). I think of me as a pressure cooker, I let go of pressurized tears in the silence of my vehicle on my way home. There’s no such thing as getting over it, it’s living with grief, accepting the present, laughing when there’s humor, praying in silence, and finding someone or a means of communicating the hurt inside.

  • Thursday, June 19, 2008 at 9:27 am
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    I am so sorry for all the mom’s that lost their precious little angels and hope that God helps all of you get through the terrible grief. June 16, 2008 her birthday my daughter-in-law at 38 weeks went to the doctor for her regular appointment. He heard a strong heartbeat and felt her move. Within an hour the baby died and we do not know why. She was a beautiful & perfect 7 1/2 lb. baby girl and their first. The pain was unbearable to see and hold a lifeless baby. So many questions with so little answers. My heart goes out to all.

  • Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 10:35 pm
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    Im so sorry for all the moms who have gone through this terrable loss, i went through the same thing i gave birth on march 11,2008. to a beautiful baby boy 5 days before my due date, the worst part was that i went into the hospital and the nurse told me he was alive and my husband and i were so excited its our first child and we couldnt wait for him to come after i delivered and my husband cut the cord we find out that our baby is dead and later we found out that he had been dead for no more then 3 days. its the worst feeling in the world we were so devestated no one really understood what we were going through and they just told us we were still young and we can have as much kids as we want i know im only 18 but no matter how old you are if your a mother and you become pregnant no one really knows how you feel im so glad to find this site and share my feelings with everyone. my heart goes out to all the mothers

  • Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 4:10 pm
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    I posted on 6/19/08. My daughter-in-law lost baby Julia on 6/16 at 38 wks. The doctor’s results were that she (mom) has a rare genetic blood disorder called MTHFR. They found small clots in the placenta which cut of the blood supply to the baby that is why she did not survive. Internet research isn’t to promising. Anyone know of this?
    Thanks

  • Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 5:42 pm
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    I am very sorry for your loss, and also to all the other ladies that have lost a child whether stillborn or after birth. Your baby girl certainly is beautiful. I am feeling your loss intensly as I do know what you have gone through as my wife has just last night given birth to our little boy (he was 26 weeks). Unfortunately she is in the Philippines (she was there seeing her family) & had not felt any movement since the previous friday (6 days ago). She went to the local doctor in her village who said she should travel to hospital which was 3 hrs away. The hospital did several ultrasounds, etc & found no heartbeat or movement & so decided she need to be induced. After 2 days of stop/start labour pains & increasing blood pressure & heat rate they decided to do an emergency c-section. Thanks to God my wife came throught that ok, however now she is trying to recover & we are trying to come to terms with the fact we have lost our 1st little boy. He had somehow managed to get the cord wrapped around his little body & so stopped the flow of oxygen to him. I have been desperately searching the net since this morning to see what information I could get to help us & also to see if any support groups are around here near where we live in Sydney, Australia. I am very thankful I have found this site. And now I am travelling today from Sydney to be with my wife & bring her home. It is very difficult to express from a father’s side what I feel but the pain and sense of great loss is terrible, so what you ladies have gone through must be worse because you have carried your baby through the pregnancy. My heart goes out to you all. The only comfort I have is that Jesus holds our little boy in His arms & one day we will see him again, perfect in everyway.

    If anyone would like to comment or has any suggestions for support group/s in Sydney my wife & I would love to hear from you

    blondie6637@yahoo.com.au

    May the Lord Jesus bless each & everyone of you & give you the comfort & support that you need that only He can give

  • Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 7:56 pm
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    Thank you so much for this site and the courage you all have to put your losses up here. we have good friends who were due with their first baby Lola on Christmas eve. Everything was fine, they heard the heartbeat on Tuesday, and that night she didn’t feel her moving very much. They called the hospital and the nurse told her to just drink cold water and that the baby was setting up for delivery. The next morning there was no movement, they went to the hospital, and their little girl had died sometime over that day and night. She was 7.5 pounds and healthy, but the cord was around her neck.

    We are saddened beyond belief by what has happened. I have an even deeper connection as I was born with the cord around my neck and that caused me much distress in my life. And, my husband and I had a miscarriage on Christmas 10 years ago, but we were just 4 weeks along.

    I’m so glad to have found your postings – they were the medicine we needed to know that our friends are not alone, even though this is so confusing and incomprehensible.

    Blessings to all of you and your families !

  • Saturday, January 3, 2009 at 10:34 pm
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    I want you to know that you are so brave and that your daughter is beautiful. I just lost 18 days ago a beautiful baby boy named Logan. I delivered him at 23 weeks and he was stillborn. We mothers have to keep our heads high and just try to understand why this happens. We have to know that in our hearts God had other wonderful plans for them. I dont know how you do it everyday I know the feeling of having one gone. Stay strong and life will get better.

  • Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 2:03 am
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    This happened with us in Feb2005. Everything was normal and suddenly on the delivery day.

    Thanks for courage and positivity.

  • Monday, March 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm
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    hi, sorry to hear your sad story,i had a stillborn baby boy 8.2.03 according to my last period he was 19 days overdue. I didnt go into labour myself either. the hospital dates were acctually 8.2.03 but there were 3 weeks difference between them, we go by my dates and say the hospital was at fault. Daniel was very heavily induced on 7.2.03, i was drugged up so much i was asleep between contractions and after his birth which i am not happy about because my time with him was taken away by too much morphine for pain. He weighed 9lb 2oz and was perfect, he had a post mortem and was found to have amniotic band syndrome which constricted the umbilical cord and cut off his blood supply. He suffercated inside me. we sued the hospital for negligence, there was alot of evidence to suggest they were, but they all stuck together on reports and after 4 years of painful meetings and fighting for Danny, we lost. He is our angel and will always be missed and loved so much.
    We now have 2 more boys Ryan 4 1/2 and Aden almost 3, who were both brought by c-section 2 and 2 1/2 weeks early at a different hospital. I tell Daniel i love him every night before i go to bed, and kiss his photo i have on the wall in my bathroom.(strange place to put it, but its always been there so thats where it stays).

  • Saturday, March 21, 2009 at 11:03 pm
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    Thank you to all the Mums sharing their stories. I too am among you all. Our little girl, Breeann was born on 4 March 2009 after finding out that her little heart had stopped beating (34 weeks gestation). We take great comfort in knowing that she is now safe in the arms of Jesus and she’s never had to know pain, suffering or sadness, only joy in our Lord. Breeann was our third child after having 2 fun boys. I have a suspicion that this can be common; a stillborn girl after 2 boys. Please, if you have had a similar experience, please contact me: adjosutton@bigpond.com

  • Saturday, April 11, 2009 at 9:03 pm
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    hi my sister just lost her 2ed baby boy due to an doctor by the name of doctor folk the cause of the babys death was a medican that u only give to animals !

  • Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 8:20 pm
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    I lost my baby when i deliverd i was two weeks early the baby was fine the daybefore i went in to labour then there was nothing so what happend

  • Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 3:20 pm
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    My prayers and heart goes out to every mother, father and family who experiences a stillbirth. The pain is immense, undescribable – words will never describe what we feel. I reached 39 weeks when she suddenly stoped moving. She was born on May 6 2009. The pain will never stop, but I will try to carry on.

    She is with the Lord who loves her much more than I could. She is his child. She and all the other sillborn babies were just too good for this earth.

  • Friday, June 5, 2009 at 11:22 am
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    I am so sorry for your losses my thoughts are with you all im 39 weeks today and couldnt bear it if anything happened

  • Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 5:01 pm
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    I just lost my beautiful baby girl less than two weeks ago. My husband and I went to sleep on Sunday night on June 7th, 2009 and everything was fine and my baby was kicking fine. The next morning I woke up and had breakfast. I hadn’t felt her move yet but she didn’t always constantly move and I figured she was still asleep. I woke my husband and told him. We called the doctor and they suggested I drink some orange juice or eat something and rest for 15 to 20 minutes to see if she starts moving. I had already done that but I did it again. Still she hadn’t moved. We called the doctor again and this time we went to the hospital. At the hospital I was starting to worry and so was my husband. The nurses put us in a labor and delivery and I changed into a gown. Then the L&D nurse came in to check the fetal heart tones. She looked all over but couldn’t find them. She said sometimes they can be hard to find. She went to get another nurse to try. We were told our doctor was on the way in. My usual doctor was out of town but his partner was coming in. As we waited my husband looked nervous. He’s a doctor and I asked if everything is okay. He said he didn’t know with a worried look on his face. The next nurse came in and tried to find the babies heart tones and looked all over but couldn’t. Again she said that sometimes when the baby is near term it can be hard to find. I had just started my last week. I figured my baby was big and strong and fine and what could possibly happen at 39 weeks of pregnancy. I mean I could have delivered any time I wanted to. We were waiting an excruciating two hours for the doctor to arrive to do an ultrasound. My husband looked for heart tones while we waited and thought he may have found some but he wasn’t sure. He looked sad and worried and I made him tell me why. He told me almost crying that the baby may be dead. I hit him and started crying and screamed “How can you say that”. He cried too and said he didn’t want to say that and was sure the baby was fine. But he knew different deep down inside and was denying for me and for himself. The nurses knew different too. They knew the baby was dead but couldn’t say it. Finally the doctor arrived and did an ultrasound and confirmed there was no heartbeat and our little baby daughter was dead. My heart sank to the floor. I thought I was in a nightmare and that it couldn’t be real. Both of us burst into tears and were devastated. I couldn’t believe. I never even knew it was possible for a perfectly healthy baby to just suddenly die so late in the pregnancy. I was crushed. I still cannot believe. I do not know how I will go on. Today is Father’s Day and my poor husband is just as crushed. We feel hopeless. She meant the world to us. Nothing seems to have any meaning anymore. I don’t know want the point of going on is. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. She was the exact beautiful baby daughter I had always wanted. She was a perfect mix of me and my husband. I don’t know why God took her from me. She is an angel in Heaven now, but we miss her very much. We still don’t know what happened. Everything had come up normal so far. They may never have an answer for us. I feel the doctors screwed up. They should have taken her out earlier. They should have warned me. She weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was totally normal in appearance. She shouldn’t have died. I feel like I screwed up because I didn’t get a good enough doctor. They should have taken het out before she died. The pain is unbearable. My husband and I are trying to get ourselves through. The rest of the family doesn’t understand our pain. They are supportive but do not truly understand our grief and our tremendous loss. No one should ever have to watch a child die, no matter the age.

  • Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 6:23 pm
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    Pany-

    I just read your story. I lost my son on May 21st of this year. I know how you feel. I was also 39 weeks along and I was going in for a scheduled induction because my baby boy was pretty big. They felt he was around 9 pounds, he was actually 11 pounds 8 ounces. I went through the same thing with 4 or 5 nurses trying to find a heartbeat that wasn’t there. Finally the doctor came in and tried, and he had to tell us the horrible news. We went through a horrible 27 hour labor and eventual c-section. I know how you feel, and I am so sorry you to be going through this too. I miss my little boy so much, and I am so sad when I see other babies around. I say a prayer every time I see a pregnant woman. I pray for her and her baby to be safe because I have learned the hard way that nothing is guaranteed. I will say my prayers for you because I know all to well what you are feeling. I am feeling it right now too! I don’t think anyone will understand your loss and pain unless they have been in your shoes.

  • Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm
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    I just came back to this website I visited last year on May 30th 2008. I wanted to see if any one else had experienced what I went through, but my heart breaks that stiilbirth is still happening and that nothing has been done to prevent it! Why? I pray for all of you that have shared this horrible thing that has happened, but it does get easier with time trust me I know! I still have breakdowns and not to mention my sister just had twins. I really cant be around the babies for to long because of the pain I feel when I see them, but hopefully one day i will have the courage to try for another baby. God Bless all of you!

  • Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 2:00 am
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    10 days ago, I lost my daughter, Charlotte at 41 weeks+2 days. I had begged the midwife at hospital when I had attended the day unit to take her out when she was two days overdue as I was worried about her being stillborn. I had woried about this all the way through my pregnancy (first one). They did not take me seriously and told me I had a perfectly healthy baby in me and I would be induced if I hadn’t gone into labour myself later in the week.
    I have to bury my daughter tomorrow and my heart is breaking in two.
    To make matters worse, following the delivery of my 8.1 pound baby girl, I suffered massive bleeding and had to go to theatre. After theatre, I was left unattended and with no observations for around 8 minutes, and I slipped unconscious and had no pulse.I had to be resuscitated. My poor husband and mother and brother were distraught when I came round. They had watch me give birth to my lifeless baby, whom we all had so many plans for and then they almost lost me too.
    Mothers should not go beyond their due date- pregnancy is hard enough, but to go through it, and lose your baby right at the end is just inhumane. My baby girl would have been here in her cot, if they had only listened to me. My heart goes out to all of you in this same situation as me.

  • Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 3:44 pm
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    Oh, Alison, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss and I will be thinking of you and your daughter all day.

    I do want to say, though, that being overdue itself is NOT a risk factor. I feel like you perhaps had some intuition for your daughter, but on the whole 42 or even 43 weeks are still very safe and healthy pregnancies.

    (((hugs)))

  • Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 3:34 pm
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    I too understand only too well the overwhelming emptiness the loss of your baby brings. My baby girl was stillborn 8 weeks ago at 30 weeks. Still can’t believe it. We have 3 healthy boys already, had longed for a little girl to complete our family. It just wasn’t meant to be. I caught parvovirus during pregnancy and our baby died of hydrops. We’d only been for a checkup 2 days before they told us her heart stopped beating. Giving birth to her and holding her was just surreal, the silence was heartbreaking. I feel so lonely, and desperately want my little girl. My heart goes out to everyone who has also been through this terrible experience.

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