Your Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 boy, 2 years and 2 months.
Hello again shape of a mother! Its been 19 months since my last entry. You can find it here. I’ve meant to do some updates here and there but never got around to them. My life and self image took a completely different turn one day at the beach about a month ago, before I tell you about that let me tell you some other things first. Since my son was born my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. After weighing 175 pounds right before delivery it took me about 2 years to drop all my baby weight and then some!! I am now at about 122-124 pounds. I have days when I feel like the most beautiful woman, wife, and mother ever. While other times I feel soft and squishy and weird.
Now let me tell you about my beach experience. It was my first time back to the beach since I had my son. I went with a couple of my beautiful friends that never had babies. I was at first self conscious and almost thought I wasn’t going to be able to take off my towel when all of a sudden I realized this. EVERYONE HAS STRETCH MARKS! Ladies, I spent so many hours and nights crying about my “ruined” body. I spent so much money on creams, lotions, and fancy doodads. When all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by women of all different shapes and sizes, big small, round, flat, and all having a great time. Baby or no baby, everyone has little imperfections. Its what makes us unique, its what makes us human!
It was at that moment that I really truly realized that yes, my stretch marks really are a badge of honor. I have heard those words used before and they would make me scoff and scrunch my nose. “Badges of honor?? More like we didn’t take good care of ourselves and got too fat during our pregnancies and now we have these ugly marks for the rest of our lives!” These were my exact thoughts any time a woman said those words. I am literally covered in stretch marks from my inner thighs, outer sides, and boobs. (They have faded considerably over the years, and using Jergens gradual tanning lotion has made a HUGE difference.) Guess what world, I am not afraid to admit it. I don’t hide them, I am not ashamed of them. I worked hard for my stretch marks. I worked hard to loose the weight and be happy with my body. I work hard everyday to be the best mom, wife, and woman that I possibly can.
I am glad I went to the beach that day. Am glad that I didn’t continue hiding my stretch marks from the world. The amazed glanced that I got from my friends at my body was an incredible feeling. Hearing pretty much everyday that I don’t even look like I had a baby almost makes me blush. I really did work hard and continue working hard to feel good about myself. I did weight watchers for about a year which taught me how to eat well. I am not on it anymore but I monitor everything that goes in my mouth and try to limit going out and eating to about once a week. I don’t necessarily have any kind of exercise regiment but I am pretty active. I am a happy woman, but it was a long and hard trip to find my happiness.
Keep your heads up ladies. Listen to your men when they tell you that you are truly beautiful, because you are. Look in the mirror and smile and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Tell yourself that your child loves you because of all the love you have to give, not because you look like Gisele. Of course we all have our bad days, our bad nights, our bad hours, but have many more better days. Being a mommy is the most wonderful thing in the world, and you aren’t alone in all your struggles. Thank you for this amazing website.