View my original entry here.
When my son was born 5 weeks early, with severe IUGR and weighing only 3lbs, I was angry. It was all my body’s fault. I learned not long after submitting my original entry that my heart was struggling with the pregnancy and I had developed pregnancy induced hypertension. My placenta was only 2/3 the size it should have been, because my heart wasn’t pumping adequate blood supply to it. I was hospitalized, medicated, and watched 24 hours a day. I was in danger of a stroke or toxemia.
I lost 25lbs of baby weight in 4 weeks. Breastfeeding for 5 months combined with healthy eating took off another 20lbs. Since then I’ve lost about 5-6lbs more, for a total weight loss of 51lbs since I delivered 8 months ago.
My body is healthier now than it has been in years. I went from a 12 before becoming pregnant to an 8 post-partum, and I’m still slowly losing (in spite of weaning my son – I pumped exclusively for 5 months because he was unable to latch.) It made a baby to the best of its abilities – we couldn’t have known that my heart wouldn’t like pregnancy. After all, I was only 26 years old, no health complications, and I should have been low risk.
It’s hard for me to get to know this new body — it’s smaller, and I feel good physically. I can see changes in my appearance, and I have greater confidence in spite of the breasts that have flattened out (thanks to breastfeeding!) and that crease from hip to hip. I have a love-hate relationship with it — I love that it’s smaller and that I’m wearing a size 8. I hate that it is not good at being pregnant, and that I’m not sure if I can ever have more babies.
It’s a day by day process — I can easily accept the stretchmarks all over my breasts and thighs, but I’m having a harder time with the unknown of what will happen if I try to conceive again. Another pregnancy could be fatal — to the baby, to me, or to both of us. I don’t know the risk yet, but it’s there.
For mommies who grieve the loss of their bodies through pregnancy, try to remember the beauty of your children. You are SO BLESSED. Look back on your uncomplicated pregnancies, your chubby healthy babes, and the exciting potential of more amazing little ones in the future. You have much to celebrate!
Updated here.
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You look great! I’d be thrilled to look that good 2months from now. Your skin looks lovely, and you are one hot mama :)
First let me say that your body is beautiful and perfect. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself because I have been where you are. I’ve had a very similar experience to yours and I know your pain. My son was delivered by emergency C-section at 32 weeks, weighing 2.5 pounds due to an insufficient placenta and severe IUGR. The shock and trauma of my experience is something that I’m still not totally over, even three years later. Added to that is the fear of ever trying to carry another baby. It certainly puts our society’s body obsession into perspective.
You look fabulous, and your breasts are SO not flat!!!
How did you find out AFTER you delivered that you have PIH? It’s supposed to be ‘cured’ with delivery. Often, it’s found out that women actually had chronic hypertension, but because it was discovered while pregnant, it was assumed to be PIH. I have chronic hypertension (found in my early 20s), and have had three quite normal pregnancies and deliveries (I am on medications). My last baby was on the smaller side, and I did have one miscarriage, but there’s no reason why with the right bp med you can’t go on to have perfectly fine pregnancies and babies!
Feeling healthy and knowing you are healthy, is so much more important than a few stretch marks or the size tag! But man, I feel like I’m about the same size as you, and my clothes are a 12, and if I lost 51lbs (way to go!) I’d be a toothpick. I think Canadian sizes are labelled bigger than elsewhere! :(
In response to Tracy’s question:
I measured small at 28 wks. My BP never went above the high end of “normal” and I never had proteinuria, either. All they could see with any certainty was that baby had stopped growing. Only in the last week of my pregnancy did my BP measure high — it skyrocketed, in fact. Essentially I was pre-eclamptic but with only a FEW symptoms, not all of them. My BP returned to normal within 12 hours of delivery and hasn’t been a problem since then.
PS: I’m in Canada as well and agree about the sizes, but I have found US sizes are the same way.
nice boobs I would love to swap!
You have a very nice body. Strech marks on breast look natural and beatiful. Modern plastic surgery is so fake looking and I prefer natural beaty as it is more apealing to the eye.
Many woman dream to have a body shaped like yours.
I wish thinking you had great breasts as I looked at the pics before I read the post…you’re beautiful and I’d love to have breats like yours….mine were saggy and flat before I ever even HAD kids..lol
you look absolutely great!
I am 8 months PP as well, and I wish I had enough courage to post pictures!
You look great mama!!!
I’m sorry you had such a difficult pregnancy, preterm birth is hard to cope with.
I think you look great your stomach is really cute and your breasts are a wonderful shape. Thank you for sharing.
Be happy with those beautiful curves!