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Struggling With My New Body (Alexandra)

December 21, 2010

age: 19
2 pregnancies 1 birth
4 weeks postpartum

pre-pregnancy 142 lbs
delivery aprox 200 lbs
current 170 lbs

In October of ’09 my then boyfriend and I found out we were expecting. He proposed, and we planned the wedding for 2 weeks later. On Halloween I was at work and started spotting. I panicked and went home. The bleeding never stopped, and the next day it became very heavy. Six days before our wedding at 7 weeks pregnant, I lost the baby. We went ahead with the wedding and it was wonderful. After the miscarriage I begged my husband to try again to get pregnant. I was obsessed with getting pregnant and could think of nothing else. As the next few months went by we found out he would be deploying in August and in late February I decided now was not the time to get pregnant. Well low and behold I was already pregnant. My pregnancy was flawless, we even found out my husband was going to deploy in August but December/January. We had no worries, no problems, no nothing. During the next 9months I put on 58lbs. I’m still not sure how I gained that much weight. I struggled with the stretchmarks, and my poor husband did everything he could to help me feel better. Two weeks prior to my due date my water broke. The labor did not go as planned but despite the complications my son is now a healthy happy little boy. After we left the hospital I kept telling myself the weight would just fall off, that’s what everyone had told me. And for the first 2 weeks it did. I went down to 184 in 5 days and then to 172 the next week, but it seems as though i have hit a wall. For two weeks my weight has stayed the same. I see my friends who gave birth within a week or two of me back in their pre-pregnancy jeans and it hurts. In the beginning I said I wanted to be back at my high school weight of 135 by the time my husband gets home from Afghanistan in July. It seems to far away and almost unachievable. After my son was born I stopped caring about my stretchmarks, which is nice. I realize there is nothing I can do with them but give them time. I just wish I could accept this new body. I look in the mirror and I don’t really mind what i see all that much. I don’t hide my body from my husband but the thought of staying this weight upsets me. I know its only been 4 weeks and maybe I had unrealistic expectations after the first 30lbs came off so easily.. I just hope i can accept my new body and be ok with possibly never being a size 3 again.

photos me at 17
Holding my son with my husband for the 1st time
36 weeks pregnant
4weeks postpartum

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11 Responses to “Struggling With My New Body (Alexandra)”

  1. alyssa Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 10:24 am

    I looked exactly like you at 4 weeks postpartum. Exactly. This is not what you will look like in a few months, trust me. Those stretch marks will fade (and honestly, they aren’t that bad at all right now, either!). My tummy didn’t instantly “snap back” either, and it will always be softer than it was pre-pregnancy. That softness is part of the beauty of a mother’s body. Yes, your body has changed, but its not done changing, either. Be kind to yourself!

  2. Shannon Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 10:51 am

    You look awesome…and 30 pounds in a few weeks is amazing! Your uterus hasn’t even gone down all the way yet. You will feel amazing by the time your husband gets home…and he will think you are beautiful no matter what…BECAUSE YOU ARE!

  3. Lauren Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    You look really good for 4 week pp. Don’t worry about it! Just focus on eating healthy and tracking the calories you eat and it should be no problem. Even with the extra baby weight now, its easy to see you have a healthy body. I looked just like that at 4 weeks and by 16 weeks I was at my high school weight again (135, like you!) by sticking to the calorie count that worked for me. I couldn’t even really exercise because of an emergency c-section. BUT I still had some loose skin, some fat instead of muscle, and the strecth marks. So the last year has been about working on fitness. You’ll get there! Congrats on the baby and on your marriage!

  4. Sarah P. Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Trust me, you WILL make it to your goal or close to it before your husband comes home. Just like you said, you might have been deceived by how fast the weight came off at first (that happens!). After that, it slows down. Just make sure you have small goals each day. Mark each thing on the calendar. “Walked 1 mile today, jogged 1/2 mile today, etc.” You can do it. Besides, you really do look pretty fabulous for only 4 weeks postpartum. Lift your chin up! :) You’re a beautiful and strong woman!

  5. michelle Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    You look amazing for only being 4 weeks post partum! Your stretch marks look alot like mine did (although from the looks of things i have way more lol). By the time I reached 5 months post partum they had faded to the point where they could hardly be seen. They are not slightly lighter than the rest of my skin. I still have the loose skin, but am actually thinner and weigh less than before I got pregnant. I am sorry to hear about your loss with your first pregnancy. I miscarried with my first, second, and fourth pregnancies. Keep your head up. Remember you are beautiful and your husband thinks so too! Congratulations on your beautiful baby!

  6. Amanda Says:
    December 21st, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Sweet lady, I am with you. I am currently 6 weeks pp and I have lost 30lbs too, but have been at the same weight since 4 weeks pp. I went from 130lbs to 195lbs and I also, like you, have no idea how I gained so much weight. I wasn’t lethargic or an over-eater during my pregnancy. I just packed it on. I have stretch marks like you. Thighs, butt, belly, boobs, hips… nothing was spared! But you’re right, we just have to give them time.
    And I think the same goes for our bodies. We gotta give it time.
    You look great in my opinion.
    Enjoy your beautiful baby and don’t stress about your body. I know it is easier said than done, but you really do look great for 4 weeks.

  7. Khirsten Says:
    December 23rd, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    You look fantastic for 4 weeks post partum. My tummy looks much the same as yours. I had no stretch marks with my first and now with my second they popped up at 32 weeks. I feel the same as you do, there is nothing I can do about them and honestly I don’t worry about scars I have received in the past, so why would I worry about my mommy badges. Your photos are precious, thanks for sharing. Congrats on your bundle of joy.

  8. Apryl Says:
    December 23rd, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    What those girls that are in their pre-pregnancy jeans within a week or 2 usually aren’t telling you is that they are crammed in tighter than you would ever imagine and probably made themselves extremely uncomfortable doing it. Trust me, 4 weeks post-partum is nothing like it will be. Give yourself time to heal. Your uterus isn’t even back to it’s original size yet. It takes 9 months for your body to stretch and open up that much. It’s rare for anyone to bounce back into their pre-pregnancy shape in less time than that.

  9. Megan Says:
    December 23rd, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    My belly is still improving at 2 years pp. I know you don’t want to hear that it can take that long, but I also want you to know that there’s no magic stopping point where you have to look fabulous by such-and-such number of weeks or months. Love yourself!

  10. Ashley Says:
    December 24th, 2010 at 1:00 am

    I had almost identical stats with my 1st baby, started out at 145 got up to 204, lost about 20-25 right away and then was stuck there for a couple months and then all of the sudden the weight just fell off and I was back to my pre pregnancy weight by 6 months PP. By 9 months I was below my pre pregnancy weight by like 10 lbs… so even if you plateau don’t stress it! I’m 4 weeks PP with my second baby now and look about the same as you and I “only” (LOL) gained 48 lbs this time. And everyone is right, the stretchmarks will fade A TON!

  11. Mandy Says:
    December 31st, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    It took me about 6 months, and about 2 months of TONS OF EXERCISE but I lost all the baby weight I gained (45 pounds) and then an extra 20 pounds.

    Once you’re up to it, start working out and it will really help on top of breastfeeding.

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