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Skinny Moms, I have a Problem with You (Amanda)

May 8, 2010

Okay, let me get more specific here. Skinny moms that tell other women that you have a flat belly a month or two after giving birth to your second child because you have to chase child number 1 around. I have a problem with you. Big time.

Can you please just be honest with the rest of us, and admit that you have amazing genes? Because I don’t believe you. Not one bit.

This morning, I headed to my baby’s library class, and a mom with a two year old and a two month old came for the first time. Her stomach was flat. Like, this baby just appeared at the end of the marathon I ran and here we are flat. I asked how old the baby was not because of the moms stomach but because he was little and cute. When she answered “Two months,” the librarian who is probably in her 50s and has a slight mom belly despite being rather thin for her age and frame remarked, “Two months, and you look like that? That is ridiculously unfair.” The rest of us were thinking it as we awkwardly avoided glancing at each other’s or our own bellies. Then, the skinny mom flatly responded, “Oh, well, I chase her around so that’s what has me looking so good again.” And I had to hold my mouth not to scream. “BULL SHIT, I don’t believe you.” I mean, really, ladies, you know who you are. Chasing a two year old for two months is not what gives you washboard abs after baby number 2.

Why do women lie to each other? Is it purposeful or is it just that hard to accept you are one of the lucky ones? And you don’t count if it took you more than two months to get your body back.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant and woman after woman told me to pick up cocoa butter or vitamin E or olive oil or skinny butterfly juice (I made that one up) or whatever it was that they slathered on their belly while pregnant that caused them to come out the other end with no stretch marks. I remember reading article after article that said some things could make stretch marks worse like too rapid of weight gain, but if you are destined to get them, all the cocoa butter in the world won’t stop them. And I religiously rubbed Burt’s Bees Mama Bee cream all over my body. Even my toes. Just in case. And my husband would try to gently comment that it smelled gross, but I didn’t care. I watched the grease soak through my bra, my shirt, the pregnancy pants panel that covered my whole belly, and I sat there so optimistic that the more grease seeping through the less likely stretch marks were on their way.

I begged my OB at the time for a secret. I wouldn’t tell anyone, if she just told me how to not get stretch marks. She bluntly replied, “If there was a cream that prevented stretch marks, do you think I’d be here? I’d be somewhere else selling it.” And so, after months of wasting money and time, one day, my first stretch mark began to appear. I convinced myself that it took mine longer to appear than most women who had serious stretch marks appeared. But I lied. They came in, and while they aren’t as bad as some. They’re still here.

I remember heading to my midwife’s office five weeks postpartum, and I’d already lost 28 pounds just from breastfeeding, but my belly looked five months pregnant. She okayed me to start working out when my body felt okay, and she warned me that my abs had separated during pregnancy. So my back would start to hurt more and more if I didn’t start doing abs to try to bring the muscles back together. That was back when I was sleeping 3 hours total in a 24 hour period because my baby and I were having so much trouble breastfeeding.

I went home and tried to do a sit up, and I damn near died it hurt so much. Then, later, I tried to run on the treadmill, and I thought my lady parts were going to fall out.

So I didn’t run for a long time, and when I finally started moving again, I stuck to walking. I worked my way up to crunches with two 5-lb weights, and while my stomach is nowhere near flat, 9 months out, I don’t look quite as pregnant as I once did. Most days I proudly show my husband and son the almost abs I’m getting back. You know the ones you can see surrounded by my mom bulge? And I usually feel great about my body, but some days, I hide my stomach behind my backpack when I’m in a group of people so that people don’t look at my belly for too long.

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9 months

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79 Responses to “Skinny Moms, I have a Problem with You (Amanda)”

  1. Renee Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I think you’re being a bit harsh on people that actually return back to how they were. So what if it’s genes or as you say they’re the lucky ones (not me). We should be happy for them, not bitter. We’re women and we should stand together not being horrible to one another. I think good for them, the ones that do. I’m not one of the lucky ones as you put it, but I found this quite offensive.

  2. Kerry Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I dont know what you’re talking about… you look pretty darn flat to me! I chuckled at your abs comment, as I also like to show these “abs” to my honey :) I think you look great!

  3. Tabi Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    crunches/situps will NOT help bring your ab muscles back together, in fact, that type of exercise only makes the separations WORSE. You need to do core-strengthening workouts instead, like planks and “supermans” (google them)

  4. Emily Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Whew your stomach looks so much better than mine!. I haves tons and tons of stretchies. I won’t surgically remove them because I’m proud of them…just not proud enough to show them to the whole world.

  5. Susy Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Well to be honest, I think having separated abs makes a huge difference. I worked hard and lost all the weight pretty quick, but still looked pregnant becuase of the ab separation. I guarantee the skinny mom of the 2 month old didn’t have separated abs. And that gives her a huge advantage. But we all have to play the cards we’re dealt. I try not to get too depressed about my abs. I just keep working on them. Not only for looks but because it’s good for your core and posture, etc. And to avoid complications (like hernias) with future pregnancies.
    My advice. Don’t do sit ups. They are way too hard on your back and can actually strengthen and set your abs where they are, which would be hard to fix. Do a google search for “core exercise” or “postpartum workout,” etc. Sparkpeople has a good one.
    Good luck.

  6. britt Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    i’m nine months out too. the weight is gone but surely not from chasing any one. and it DID not fall off in two months. ps: i’m covered in stretch marks from chest to knees. some of us are just lucky i guess :)

  7. Jen Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    I will admit, I am one of those women. I know I’m extraordinarily lucky with how quickly and–please don’t hate me–effortlessly I bounced back after my daughter.

    My closest friend and I had our babies two weeks apart. She’s in the gym 5x/week, has been religiously doing the South Beach diet, and has tried every trick in the book to get back her pre-baby body. At 6 months PP, she says her belly looks like it did at 5 months pregnant. On the other hand, I haven’t worked out at all and halfheartedly watch what I eat when I think about it, and lost all the baby weight and had a flat belly at 2 months PP.

    It really put a strain on our friendship at first because it’s so profoundly unfair that I should have it so easy while she works so hard. I wish wish wish it could be easy for her too!

  8. kat Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    I understand how you feel. In the same way that you hate skinny moms, I hate the people who are blessed with minimal to no stretchmarks. I would do anything to have a beautiful smooth stomach like you! I got the flat stomach but I got stretchmarks from pits to ankles. And just so you know, you are not even a year pp and you have almost no stretchmarks AND your stomach is flat! You have no idea how many women are jealous of you.

  9. ME Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Ummm yeah…dont be so jealous.

    I have had 2 children, my last only a few months ago and to be honest, I ate very well during my preg, didnt gorge on mc donalds, junk or pop or crap food. I worked out up until 8 months. I took care of my body and didnt feed it garbage. In turn my stomach was flat shortly after giving birth, 27 inch waist once again, both times. My body looks great naked. I treated it well. I feel a bit offended by you having a problem with us skinny moms who look great after kids. Sure SOME women have great genes, and SOME work at their bodies and dont sit around and watch tv all day because they are pregnant, that is how you will get a pooch and look not the same after a baby. I work out at least 30-60 minutes everyday, if you can spend an hour in front of the tv you can work out. So dont get all pissy at women, like me…who look great after 2 kids. I worked at it, disciplined myself and ate healthy. I know the owner of this site wont put this up because Iam bashing you for attacking women like us, but fair is fair why is it ok for you to bash us skinny fit moms??? I think ppl need to read this, if you eat well and workout your body should be fine after a baby, maybe you will have some loose skin, but oh well thats the luck of the draw. I see so many fat moms who give me dirty looks because I do look great, can wear sexy jeans and nice shirts, dont get mad at me for taking pride in my body.

  10. Bryana Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    I’m not sure how I feel about this…
    Are you talking about the moms that have ripping abs 2 month PP, or the moms that are really thin but still have loose skin and stretch marks?
    Because I am thin, thinner than pre-pregnancy, but I have the loose sagging skin and stretch marks.
    And as one of the previous posters said, I am happy for the moms who bounce back. I’m glad it is 1 less person to have to struggle with body image issues and low self esteem.
    We are all mothers and we need to stand united as such.
    So your article, it seemed a little harsh..

  11. Ashley Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    I can totally relate to you! One of my closest and only “mom friends” has a son a little younger than my son who is 2. While I am carrying a whopping 15 extra pounds of baby weight, she has actually LOST weight compared to what she was pre-pregnancy. It is so hard for me to fully appreciate and care for her as a friend when I am constantly comparing myself to her. When we take our sons to the pool or park, she will always strip down to a skinny bikini and everybody looks at her flawless, unbelievable mom body…while I try to hide as much of my skin as possible. I think that some women just have incredibible genes and their metabolisms are crazy perfect, and they can snap back instantly. I was always a really skinny slight person before I had my son, and apparantly not just my body, but my metabolism chanaged after pregnancy too! I think the important thing is to just realize, everybodys body is so differant, there is no way to compare or contrast your body to another moms body. It is impossible, I know! Hang in there, you look GREAT!..

  12. katie Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Definitely planks are the BEST AB exercise!!

    If you click on my name it links to my story, I did not bounce back right away and I have always hated my stomach even before my son. I am more confident in my belly now then pre-pregnancy and I contribute it mostly to planks. I wore a bikini more this past summer then I have in my whole life combined

    Everyone will have different results based on their body, I still have a little lower pooch, but you will definitely see an improvement (If tighter abs is what you are aiming for, not everybody is)

    Start with trying to hold it for 30 sec- 1 min, and I think you see better results if you try to contract your muscles the whole time, you might not be able to hold it as long if you are contracting hard but it will work your abs better.

    Hope this helps, i’ve been slacking on them lately trying to get back into my routine for the summer. I usually do them at night during T.V. commercials :) Also push-ups help, you are working your abs through-out the movement.

  13. Anonymous Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    What are you talking about, your stomach looks great. From the pictures, I only saw 5 tiny stretchmarks..I am 3 years PP and they are still visible. Just like you, I spent so much money on creams, those greasy yucky ones you slather on praying it will “prevent” stretchmarks but nothing. I don’t consider myself heavy but I have had to sacrifice to lose my pregnancy weight and it does upset me to see women bounce back like nothing after 2 or 3 months (maybe because I always thought I would be one of them). Even more upsetting is that she would make a comment like that in front of a group of other moms, I too would be annoyed! Its not like the other mothers aren’t chasing their babies around, you dont see them with washboard abs! This situation was purely genetics and I understand why you would be upset; but by that same token maybe next time a situation like that arises maybe you should tactfully say what you are feeling. Sometimes people need reality checks, not to put her down but to help her understand how she might be making other mothers feel.

    Oh my post is

  14. Sheila Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    I think you look great! My sister is someone who bounced back to her pre-pregnancy body right away. In fact, I think it was two weeks or so after my nephew was born that we were at the mall and people were congratulating ME on my cute baby… That’s how good she looked :) We shouldn’t begrudge those who bounce back quickly, it just makes us feel worse about ourselves to aspire to something that is not the norm. I look quite similar to you at 10 months pp… Regardless of how you look (and you have nothing to worry about there hun!) confidence is the key to being sexy… Not a six pack! Actually, I just put my old belly ring back in the other day to decorate and celebrate my acceptance of the new me :)

  15. Angie Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    So if she said “good genetics” you would have been happy with her answer? Don’t be such a hater just because it didn’t come easy to you.

  16. Bonnie (SOAM) Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    IMO, once you get past the shock of the title of this post, it is not about the body or the method, rather the lack of understanding of another person’s situation. Frankly, I see this from women of all shapes. Those who bounced back ASSUME others didn’t work so hard. Those whose bodies changed ASSUME the others have “better” genes. What would benefit us all is to take a step back and try to imagine what many, many different situations each individual may have lived through.

  17. Amy in Arizona Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    I am one of those moms that gets my stomach back quickly. I think it is part genetics but more so from eating sensibly during pregnancy and being in good shape before getting pregnant. Now I can tell you I just had my second baby two months ago and my stomach is flat but my boobs officially hang lower than my 65 year old mother. Hey, you win some and you loose some, thank god for good bras!

  18. kimber Says:
    May 8th, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    i feel you. i can be a hater too. i get jealous. i get annoyed. especially when women complain about all the weight they gained during pregnancy and i chime in with, “and how about all the stretch marks!” and they look at me like i’m crazy. and then they show me their stretch mark free stomachs.i feel like the only one. i’m covered! i hate stretch marks. so much.

  19. Diana Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 5:23 am

    I think the comments by “Me” are just as judgemental as the comments she’s offended by. You say that you get a pooch if you don’t work out an hour a day. Some of us moms don’t have five minutes to ourselves let along an hour. I gained weight (40lbs) while I was pregnant with my twins. Never really took a lot of it off. Not blaming anyone else nor am I jealous that I can’t wear “sexy jeans and nice shirts”. I’m a mom so don’t feel the need to show sexiness to anyone but my husband anyway. Don’t judge moms either who don’t look as incredible as you say you do. You sound quite shallow to me to be honest with you.

  20. Suzanne Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Well, my stomach went back to normal almost immediately after having both my children, not very fair to say you hate me.. but i understand. i may have a wash board stomach but trust me, the rest aint so pretty! :P

  21. Samantha Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 7:13 am

    Hey mama, You look great for where you are! I loved the abs comment and I do the same thing lol.

    Now, for the person who calls herself “Me” that was very rude, its not only moms who sit and eat junk who get fat. I had a perfect body before I got pregnant, 35-24-38 flat stomache, Ds, size 5s, muscles too, I was in perfect shape according to all the doctors I went too, and everybody who passed. I also worked out until the end of my pregnancy, and ate well too, the only thing I splurged on was sweet tea, and I only allowed myself to have 2 cups a day, 16oz, no more because of the sugar. I had my daughter at 29 weeks because of pre-ecclampsia and my last week of being pregnant I was tied down to a hospital bed, couldnt eat, couldnt drink, couldnt get up to pee, and I had to have a c-section, and right now, 11 months PP, I am the exact same weight I was when I had my baby. My belly is smaller, but I weigh the same. So dont say its only the pregnant women who use it as an excuse to sit and eat and watch tv all day that gain weight and get fat and the worse stretch marks, because I didnt do that at all, I worked a 40 hour a week job, and exercised, and held down the house and hung out with my friends, and I still gained to much weight. Yes it is genes for the most part, yes a lot of women can alter their end results by doing or not doing certain things, but most of it IS in fact genes.

  22. Christina Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 8:35 am

    We are all individuals and every one is different. Some people have to work at it and some people dont. I believe a woman’s hormones and metabolism play a role in the loss of baby weight. I am 11 months post partum and in the best shape of my life because I worked out hard and ate clean. I get comments about how good I look all the time, and I tell people that it was not magic for me, and that I had to work for my shape. If the weight does not come off after about 3 months, then most likely you will have to make time for yourself and get an exercise and diet plan together. I know it seems hard when you have to take care of kids, but it will make you a better, fitter parent to boot. My devotion to fitness has added a vitality to my life that i can pass on to my daughter, as well as a sense of self esteem. Everyone is not designed to be a stick, but we all have the ability to be healthy.

  23. Christina Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 8:38 am

    I would like to add that i do have stretchmarks and loose skin on my tummy, but my lifestyle makes it barely noticable….every man and woman on this planet has some type of scar or mark…the airbrushed bodies we we in the media simply do not reflect reality.

  24. Lucy Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 9:06 am

    I agree with Bonnie, what is interesting in this thread are all the assumptions going on. From looking at me and seeing I am somewhat overweight I guess people may assume I watch tv, or am not active…. but I can tell you I never watch tv, and have thinner friends who can hardly keep up with me hiking. It’s a good lesson to stop assuming anything, even about the flat-tummy moms and their reasons.

  25. myrrh Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 9:29 am

    hate is an incredibly strong word for a site meant to bring healing and community to all mothers. on this mothers day, i would like to take the time to spread the love instead.
    hate and jealousy are not one in the same, though both evoke really strong feelings.
    most of us have been left with some change to our bodies because of our babies.. some return to their pre-baby bodies no problem (either working hard at it or not). i certainly envy my friends body and roll my eyes when she laments about her pants being too big, but its no ones fault, its just genes..
    to speak to your library group experience, i think that some women fear being envied and so would make a comment like “i run after my 2 year old”.
    i recommend that you do some internal healing because your body looks great and it would do you better to find ways to connect with other mothers than to fester in resentment.

  26. tanya Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 9:37 am

    yeah i dont think its fair how hateful you sound towards people with good genes.. that would be me.. but i have emotional problems so badly about other things in life that my looks dont even count! I would rather have a pudgy belly full of marks than be so depressed and down every day for other shit in my life.. a body is just a body .. so dont think that just because someone looks good that they got it all good.. ya know :)

  27. tanya Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 9:43 am

    and sorry another thing.. when i get people saying how unfair it is that i look so good after having a baby i say its from carrying my fat baby.. just because its SO awkward when people look so mad at you for how you look! and say its not fair! well i am sorry lol but its my body its not like im trying to look better than anyone.. OK im dont just wanted to say how it is on the other side of things :)

  28. Catherine S Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 11:33 am

    First, I wanted to say that you have a lovely figure!!! Other women would be proud to rock the body you have going on. But, I have a lot more to say about this too…

    I am one of the ones who bounced back fairly quickly… and it was due to taking care of my son, at least partially. But also diet both during and after pregnancy, exercise during and after pregnancy, and genes. I would imagine it is this way for most people who seem to have it “easy” in this department. Its not that things haven’t changed, but they haven’t changed in ways that are obvious to other people.

    I have never been a “skinny” girl, at least by my standards, but I am on the slim side and am happy overall with my figure. Despite the fact that I have less than perky breasts, cellulite, a CS scar, and varicous veins, even though I am on the slim side.

    I am not necessarily offended by what you said in your post… I just don’t really think that your attitude is entirely fair to yourself or other mothers. And I think it is unfortunate that your are comparing yourself to other women in this way. The other mom may have said something like that just to end the conversation because it made her uncomfortable to discuss her body. It makes ME uncomfortable when people assume that things just bounced back and make kinda crappy comments like “its not fair.”

    The truth is, I don’t think ANY answer is going to make someone who is unhappy with thir PP body happy. If I say it is bc of genes, I look like I think I have “better” genes. If I say it bc of diet and exercise, I sound like I think that if the person had worked harder, they would have bounced back quicker too. If I say I didn’t get stretch marks on my tummy, I look like I am gloating, but it is just a fact in this case. But you know what, neither did my mom, or my aunts, or my cousins.

    I struggle with not comparing myself to someone who got the vaginal, easy, effortless vaginal birth of my dreams. And that some women get easy, sleep through the night babies who don’t scream 24/7, and that some women DON’T get nasty postpartum depression. But that is about me and my feelings, not other mother’s experiences and why they have it so “good”. There is no real answer to why this happens for other women and not me… and “I” have to make peace with that.

    So we ALL have things that we struggle with and it is key that we remember that and treat each other with kindness and understanding. Not use words and our own jealousies to find fault with one another. I hope you and other women are able to find some peace about whatever you are struggling with. It is a difficult thing to do, but it will help you grow so much more than you ever imagined:)

  29. Regina Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    i have been chasing my first child around for 4 1/2 years and i have been chasing 2 children around for 19 months…i will NEVER have a flat belly ever again and i know it!!

  30. Mariah Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    I think a huge part of the reason women end up with poor self images, get depressed, hate their bodies and go green with envy is because of what I see in both the post, and “ME”s comments.

    I know that women who flippantly say they’re chasing their toddler and losing weight can be infuriating; I say this as a mom of a ridiculously high energy 3 year old and a very high needs 7 month old that never seems to sleep. I don’t ever get a break yet here I am still fat. We don’t eat junk; I have low cholesterol, I don’t have diabetes, my blood pressure is low, I am according to all doctor’s tests healthy as can be … just larger than average. For me staying a size 14 was a fight my entire adult life. Pre-kids I spent 5 days a week at the gym and worked by butt off (well not literally, it’s surprisingly stubborn). Genetics do play a huge role in how our bodies are formed, it is no insult or shame to have skinny genes – that should be something to be proud of! If you do work out then by all means tell your fellow mom’s so and be proud of your hard work!

    I do resent being told I am simply lazy and eat poorly when neither could be farther from the truth. Likewise assuming that it was so easy for a woman smaller than I is unfair; even a size 3 goes through some drastic changes in becoming a mother. The assumptions made both ways are what is hurtful to all of us. If we can accept one another, embrace and guide each other we will all be much happier.

    All of us are on the same journey. Not everyone chooses the same path to get there but we arrive at the same destination. While some of us found the way was rocky; others were blessed with gentle slopes. I guarantee you this – we all hit bumps along the way.

  31. Chris Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    I also agree the “me” commenter was incredibly shallow and insensitive. Yikes.

    I am 5 days PP and as I write, I lay here with an apple hanging out of my mouth, a thermos of breastfeeding tea, my feet raised to drain this crazy edema I had no idea was coming and lastly, am tightly wrapped in a tummy wrap.

    But guess what? I don’t even know how to ‘classify’ (which I agree with Bonnie you can’t do) myself because I was an average sized woman (8-10) pre-pregnancy and ate literally (no exaggeration at all here) like I was a growing 15 year old teenage boy.
    Around 7 weeks pregnant I was suddenly famished and worse, craving, seeking out and indulging in anything & everything I wanted. Not something I was doing pre-pregnancy.
    With that said, I gained about 20 lbs total, didn’t get stretch marks and carried small.

    I felt a different kind of embarrassment, like I had to make sure if it came up with other women, I wasn’t bragging or thinking how great it was I was eating like a pig and not gaining, but in fact I was and am still in awe why I didn’t gain what should have been more like 50-60lbs.
    My OB would always comment how great I was doing and tell me, “good job on your diet” etc… He never believed me when I told him I was being naughty and wasn’t eating well. He said my body would show him that, but he was wrong.

    I should add I have always been a yo-yo dieter and girl who struggled with her weight. 8/10 is me at my smallest but is also a small portion of my life. Normally I sit comfortably at a 12/14 and have gone to size 16 before too.
    I’m telling you that because I really, truly have NO idea why I didn’t gain weight. I knew exactly what I was doing when I stuffed my face and sat around (which I did btw) and was fully ready to accept the consequences. For whatever reason and for the first time in my life, I got lucky.

    So yeah, you cannot lump everyone in either the lazy or the active category. That’s a joke. My sister had her baby 2 weeks before me. She ate well, worked out til the end and unlike me the piggy prego :-) gained a ton of weight, got a lot of stretch marks etc…
    It’s all just a person by person basis, with genes, lifestyle and luck thrown in for good measure!

  32. Suzanne Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    yeah, since my last comment i have totally agreed with everyone’s comments, you shouldn’t ‘hate’ someone who is skinny, it’s really unfair, just because they are slim does not mean they are happy or look better naked! that’s an important thing to remember. But i do still totally understand, i am seriously lacking in the boob department and sometimes i truly do ‘hate’ women with big ones who flaunt them, but it is MY issue, my insecurity and i don’t actually hate them.. i’m just jealous :P So please don’t hate us skinny girls, we are probably way more insecure than all you gorgeous curvy, womanly, feminine ladies out there!
    Enjoy what you have, curvy ladies want to be skinny, Skinny ladies want some curves, The grass is always greener…
    You look great anyway :)

  33. Chris Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    p.s I meant to say I ate like a growing teenage boy pregnant but was careful *enough* pre-pregnancy.

  34. Clarisse Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    Wow…I’m amazed at all of the offence people with ‘good genes’ are taking. Really, being nasty with one another doesn’t help. Personally, I apreciated this posting. And no, I don’t have good genes. I’m about 14 pounds heavier, but i’m cutting myself slack because my breasts are 4 cup sizes bigger and I’m not in the gym for 90 minutes 3 times a week. My stomach is a lot softer and I have a diastasis too but I’m JUST starting to be ok with it and not be filled with self loathing 11 months later.

    I worked out like a maniac before I got pregnant, but was really sick from morning sickness and very depressed because the father of my daughter wanted nothing to do with me. So if not continuing to work out in that situation is lazy then I’m lazy, if comfort eating during that time made me a fata** then thats what I am. I haven’t been to the gym in months, because I’m a graduate student who is a single mom and again…I must be lazy.

    This site is supposed to be about expression and support, and while I don’t expect it to be therapy, have some respect for other people’s experiences and feelings.

    To the poster, you look great! I can barely tell you have a diastasis and I’m sure I wouldn’t notice if I didn’t have one myself. Ditto what everyone says, crunches and situps bad (leave the rectus abdominus alone if you can), transverse strenthening is the way to go (core strenthening, planks ect). I’m trying the Tupler technique and I see results when I’m diligent but its intensive and I often can’t find the space to do it. Google it, you should find resources (theres also a Facebook diastasis rectii support group).

  35. Shealene Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I don’t know why anyone would take this post as bashing. I happened to be one of those women that didn’t have to do much…and while I worked out after I was allowed to, it WAS mostly genes. I wouldn’t sit there and say, “Ohhh yeahhh, I ran after my 5 month old who can’t really get around anyways, it’s SUCH a workout”. I understand what she’s saying, it’s ridiculous, just be honest. But yeah, I don’t think that this post is offensive at all! And by the way Mama, you look good!

  36. mamaoffour Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Oh, dear. Such judgment going on here. I’m really not sure what the point of this post was. Is it that you want the “skinny” moms to be “honest” about how they bounced back after their babies? I’m just not seeing what you’re getting at. I am lucky enough to have bounced back quickly. I’m really not sure what to say when people ask how I did it. If I say I exercised and ate well, I will be judged. If I say I run after my four kids, I’ll be judged. If I say I breastfeed, I will be judged. (I remember a post awhile back where one mom was saying that it is a “myth” to lose weight from breastfeeding). Different things work for different people. Each person has her own shape. I think this is an extremely unfeeling post and find it terribly confusing and sad. Wow.

  37. I-dra Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Where, in any of that, did she say she “hated” anyone? I can’t find where she used it once. I completely understand where she’s coming from. A friend & I shared a due date with our first children. I birthed 8 days before she did. 3 months pp, she was already thinner than she was pre-pregnancy. We each gained about 35 lbs & are both longtime vegetarians who never eat fast food & were moderately active. I asked her how she got so thin. Her reply? “Breastfeeding”. Hello! I’m breastfeeding, too! In fact, I’m STILL breastfeeding, 3.5 years on! And I remain about 25 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. Genes have a lot to do with it.

  38. Shannon Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    First of all…you look great!

    Second, people need to stop being so rude to her for this post…she is not saying she hates moms who are skinny…she is saying she hates when people say things like “you will lose the weight by chasing a toddler around”. That toddler would have to run pretty darn far and fast for that to be the reason you get into shape!

    As for “ME”, you are very rude. I was not a “lucky” one…I have had 2 amazing little boys, both by cesarean. I ate healthy (occasional treat), worked at a daycare through both pregnancies, and worked out…but I got stretchmarks everywhere and have loose skin! I was not lazy…some of us just end up with a lot of reminders of the babies that grew in our belly…and you know what, that is not always a bad thing. I love my baby reminders…my son passed away at 19 months, and I would be more sad if he did not leave his marks on me…grass is always greener on the other side.

    You look great mama…good work!!!

  39. sarah Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    I personally thought this post was hilarious! Rubbing stretch mark cream on toes, wanting to run the treadmill but worrying your lady parts will fall out, etc. lol! I dont think the poster was trying to be judgmental at all and I’m sure that most of us have had similiar thoughts at one point or another. We win some, we lose some. Some of us get stretchies no matter how much cream we slather on ourselves. Some of us eat healthy, remain active and still have a stubborn pooch that wants to cling around. Some of us eat bon bons and look like supermodels. Some of us have healthy full term babies and others have premies who are riddled with an array of health problems. It’s all in perspective ladies. There’s always someone more fortunate and less fortunte than us. Is the glass half full or empty? Sure, I got stretchmarks and some national geographic boobies but ya know what? I got some great legs and a nice firm tooshie. Let’s all focus on the positives, give ourselves a break and take the time to count our blessings.

    Happy Mother’s Day!!!!! :)

  40. Hilary Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 6:19 am

    Funny post.

    Check out: Lose Your Mummy Tummy by Julie Tupler

  41. Amanda Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 7:29 am

    As the author of this post, I’m a little surprised that folks found me so controversial. This post was in no way meant to divide women. I love other women, and I love myself even more. It’s just poking fun at the fact that chasing a two year old will not give anyone washboard abs.

    Seems like some of you only read the title. But hey, I took some time to write a lengthier response here

  42. Amanda Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 7:32 am

    P.S. Thanks for all of the support from a lot of you. I appreciate it! :)

  43. Apryl Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 9:01 am

    “Me” is obnoxious. The post isn’t about being jealous or about actually hating skinny moms. It’s about women that ssume because they bounced back into shape easily, everyone can. For many, most even, moms, it takes a LOT of work to get back in shape. And even if you work-out until you almost faint every single day, it doesn’t always work. Between my first and second child, even though I worked out constantly, I got fat. I got on birth control that screwed up my metabolism. So no matter how much I work out, no matter how carefully I eat, I find it almost impossible to lose weight. I took a health class recently as I have been going back to school finally. According to the results of a food diary that I had to do for an assignment, I actually only eat about HALF the calories I should during an average day. I eat very healthy foods and always have. I rarely touch junk food. I gained 40 lbs with my first, less than 15 lbs with my second, and 9 pounds with my last pregnancy. I have an active 11 year old, a rambunctious 7 year old, a just-starting-to-crawl 5 month old and a full time job. I excercise almost every day. I take the kids to the park, and push the stroller and walk laps around the playground while they play. Since I don’t smoke, instead of cigarette breaks, like many of the skinny new-moms I work with take, I take breaks walking laps around the building where we work. I walked during all 3 of my pregnancies that I carried to term.

    I weigh 275 lbs. And it isn’t because I sit on my butt eating junk food all day.

    By the way, Amanda, you look fanastic.

  44. tanya Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 10:21 am

    wow i dont think the ME person was trying to be rude either.. i think she was a little annoyed at this post as I was.. because some people like myself have gotten into shape because of chasing around my baby and because genes and eating good. and whats so wrong with that! I think everyone should leave everyone alone .. Maybe the author of this post wasnt trying to sound harsh but I think she shouldnt judge a mom because she happens to have a great body and awkwardly says its because it was from chasing her baby.

  45. Jenna Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    Learn to love your post-baby body, no matter what it looks like. I’ve gotten to that point, and in no way did I bounce back quickly. My belly hangs and I have stretch marks down to my calves. My breasts are certainly not as perky as they used to be, but they did nourish my children for almost 3 years total. I get complimented often because I think my confidence shows through what society deems as imperfections :). I don’t spend my time focusing on what other mamas look like in comparison to the hand I was dealt. Sure, I may have a moment here or there where my eyebrows pull down into a frown when I see a mama with a newborn baby and she looks fantastic, but I quickly realize that I’m happy for her and go on my way. I love my body, and ya know what, I love the imperfections. I wouldn’t get rid of them now even if I could. Sometimes my hand brushes against my stretch marks and my mama pouch and I smile…yep, I actually smile. They will be a reminder until the day that I die that my body was a vessel for the 2 unique free-spirits I helped bring into the world.

    I hope you find the love for your body, OP, because you deserve it! I find confidence to be extremely sexy, personally ;)

  46. Jackie Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    I totally get you! Thanks for saying what I’ve been thinking! I was ostracized from a playgroup for commenting when the other, all skinny, moms would talk about how so-and-so had gained so much weight or how someone shouldn’t eat a certain way because of her weight, so I definitely get it.

  47. proud mom Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    the problem here is the question; how did you do it? what do you want us to answer, if we didn’t do anything???? will that answer make anybody feel better?
    q: what did you do to loose your baby weigth?
    r: nothing.
    doesn’t sound right, so we give other answers that we think might be less akward…
    my body has changed so much, just not the way that people expects…

  48. Kailee Says:
    May 10th, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    I totally agree with you, Amanda!!! I see ppl on here saying that they are offended by what you said, obviously they aren’t understanding what you are trying to get across. It is ridiculous for people to be like ‘oh just because I’m running after these kids, that’s why I look great’, NOT TRUE AT ALL! If you want to say ‘Yes, I worked very hard to be this way,’ Or, ‘I know I am very lucky, because I haven’t done anything’ then FINE, but to go around and act like ‘just being a mom’ is enough to magically make you back in shape~just plain ridiculous.
    And for the record, I myself have gotten back into great shape after my baby by working very hard…and I will not lie, it’s been a very difficult road. You look great, Amanda, stay strong!!!

  49. GGB Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 5:56 am

    Hey! Every mom has its personal story. We all have different feelings, but motherhood is the important thing here. Bodies are just bodies. We all (I hope so) will get older. Please, talk about it with any grandmother, she’ll give you the best answer. Life and love are much more important than comparing yourself with other women.
    If you can’t see this (or you don’t want to), it’s because you have a problem. Consider therapy if you want, but please, don’t charge other women’s mind with all this. Besides, have you realized how great you look? You are a beautiful mother!!!
    I wish you the best! Good luck!

  50. Shannon Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 6:18 am

    proud mom

    you don’t have to say “nothing”, just say “honestly, the weight came off quickly and easily…I got lucky”…it is better to say that then have women thinking, “ok, so the weight will come off on its own if i chase my toddler around…”

  51. Suzanne Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 8:00 am

    ahh yes i am a little confused now, i based my response around you saying ‘hate’ when actually that word was never mentioned.. lol, someone’s comments above mine said it so i assumed you had. My apologies for that! :) But yeah, skinny people are always getting such a bashing, just as much as curvier ladies, i don’t think it’s acceptable either way! I’m a right skinny rake, i have health problems that make me look anorexic, i hate it!!
    It’s so unfair for some people to assume that if you carry a bit of weight then your lazy.. that’s ridiculous. I ‘look’ incredibly fit, but i get knackered walking up the stairs! :P whereas my sister who is a lovely curvy lady is super fit and always dashing around, she eats well and looks after herself. I on the other hand, eat junk, don’t do any exercise whatsoever and STILL look like a 10 year old boy :( i would never call myself lucky…

  52. Amy Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    I am a skinny mom. No stretch marks and a flat tummy. I delivered twins and I was prepregnancy size by 3 months pp with little to no effort. I did breastfeed both babies and I have good genes and that is the truth. This post caught my attention because I feel like skinny moms are judged for being this way. It is like there exists this mom club that we can’t be part of because it’s “unfair” we are are thin again. Comments and questioning are sometimes terse and hurtful. I typically laugh it off as I don’t know what else to do but making an ordeal over how “little” we are and how “unfair it is” does make it awkard and we typically aren’t the ones bringing up, other mothers are. Why do we owe anyone any explanation? Why do we have to entertain comments about our weight at all to anyone?

  53. heather Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    @shealene….THANK YOU! I appreciate you saying that. Anyhow… I’m at 100 lbs and 5’2″ and I missed that good gene wagon. Lol. My stomach is stretch mark free but looks like tenderized meat meets drapery. Ugh. No amount of exercise will change that for me. An apple a day won’t make my loose skin go away :-(

  54. Jennifer Says:
    May 11th, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes three weeks after my first child was born and five days after my second. My stomach was flat again after a few weeks the second time. The difference was not chasing around the first child, but that I did not gain as much weight with my second pregnancy.

    You probably made that woman feel incredibly uncomfortable and that is why she deflected the comments and stares by saying that. She was trying to downplay the situation. Think about how hormonal and insecure you feel two months after giving birth, how you go to events like readings at the library to meet other women and spend some time with people in similar situations – at home with two small children. It is not easy. Now think how unwelcome you probably made her feel.

    If she had said the honest truth: I was in good shape when I got pregnant, was careful not to gain too much weight, and am lucky to have good genes, the women there might have been even nastier.

  55. Elissa Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I am a little offended by this…I worked VERY hard to lose my weight from pregnancy and watched what I ate and made healthy choices especially since i was Breastfeeding…I wanted my daughter to have THE BEST…I gained 61 pounds as I was put on bedrest and “ME” I was forced to sit and watch TV….I spent 9 months changing my lifestyle so that I would get back to my old tight body. I lost the weight after 9 months of healthy eating…But my body was not as firm as it use to be…I looked in the mirrior and saw a figure older than my age….I didnt sit and workout 24/7 because I had more important things to do like care for my daughter…But we would go on walks and swim together. I am now doing P90X and my body is getting extremely tight. No I didn’t have stretch marks or a buldge but I had the loose feel of my muscles that seemed to have gone away with the pregnancy on my body. My breasts are not as firm from breastfeeding so far for 14 months….But I will not be angry or envious of another because they figured something out. I could have stayed heavy had I not started eating fruits, lean meats and veggies and stuck to water….I stopped losing weight at 178 pounds….It took me being honest with myself and telling myself if I want to be healthy again and if I want to be happy with my body I am going to have to sacrafice that cake I want…Those poptarts sitting in the pantry…I have good genes yes but my sisters have the same genes…Two of my sisters are fit and firm, one has 3 kids, the other 5….Two of them chose to live life and have fun…They have stretch marks, diabetes and health problems. I wanted to be healthy and fit….I agree with “ME” however rude she was other women stare at you like you must be a horrible mother because you take care of yourself. I have had comments and had they seen me right after I had my daughter they might have thought differently. I have breastfed when most mothers do not and most stop after a few months…My daughter is happy and healthy and advanced. My mother is 61 and had 7 kids, her body was always perfect till she hit 50 and she let herself go…REcently she has got on weight watchers and lost 31 pounds so far…She started at the end of January. It’s $40 a month….It REALLY works and I believe instead of being envious of others it’s time we start loving ourselves and figuring out what will make “US” happy so that our children reap the goodness of confidence and don’t have to worry about weight. Big or little, I see a problem in having any problem with someone else because of their body…You are creating an opening for your child to see something wrong in themselves. Love yourself so your child will love themselves…Confidence is never a bad thing! Arrogance is.

  56. Michelle Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 11:59 am

    This sort of bitterness is simply annoying and should really have no place on this site. I know that the weight from my two pregnancies (I’m 34 years old and nearly three weeks out from my 2nd delivery) would still be hanging around had I not worked so hard. I was in the midst of a three mile jog when I felt my first labor pains… and now, once I’ve enjoyed the whopping three or four hours of sleep my daughter allows, I drag my butt out of my toddler wakes up, stuff my cracked and bleeding nipples into a sports bra, and I’m at it again. And coming from a family that tends toward the seriously obese, genes have nothing to do with it. I suck it up, grit my teeth, chug a cup of coffee and work my ass off. But of course that’s not what I say when another mom asks how I lost the weight so quickly. Should it be? Would that make you feel better?

  57. Kristin Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I think if people didn’t comment on someone’s looks (I think it’s equally rude to point out someone’s flat stomach as it would be to comment on their extra baby weight)then this wouldn’t be a problem.

    I had people comment on how slim I was after having dd and it was incredibly uncomfortable. Even more so when you know it has nothing to do with anything but ‘luck’ or genetics.

    Anything someone says in response to an unsolicited remark about their body is fair game in my opinion. ;)

  58. melanie Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    I don’t see why people are so up in arms about her post, it’s true if you didn’t do the work and just happen to be lucky enough to have a flat tummy after a baby be sensitive to those who don’t. I played tennis for 8 years and have alway eaten well and only gained 25 pounds while pregnant but my tummy is still a mess 16 months later, I run 3 times a week but still have that “apron” at my belly, sometimes people are small and the stretch was just too much, I am with the poster. =)

  59. proudmommy Says:
    May 13th, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I am very petite and have been all my life. I gained 20 lbs with my first and 35lbs with my 2nd baby and I ate the same during both pregnancies, which was pretty much healthy for the most part. Do you want to know how we do it, well here it is: Breakfast very small bowl of cereal OR Toast. Lunch: half a sandwich and a banana OR fruit and yogurt OR soup OR salad. Dinner: Half a steak/chicken breast/fish WITH MOSTLY VEGETABLES WITH small amount of pasta/rice/potatoes. So basically little carbs and loads of veggies (skip the dressing or use no more than a tablespoon) I still eat desserts but usually eat half of what is served. Yes, there are people out there who actually love the taste of healthy food (I’m one of them)and I feel sick if I eat too many fatty foods. My dad died of a heart attack and it made me want to take care of my health even more. I suggest that you give it a try because I truely beleive that diet has 70 % to do with your weight. I wouldn’t get to upset with the skinny girls…most likely they lead a very healthy lifestyle and it would be silly to make fun of that.

  60. sady Says:
    May 13th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    i think everyone is completely missing the point, its not about those ‘skinny’ chicks that bounce back after two days, its about how this woman, who write this post feels about herself, we ALL have something amazing in common here, whats with people being so defensive, this is not YOUR story, even if she mentions YOU. amanda you look great, really you do

  61. Catherine S Says:
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:21 am

    I would love to see what the reaction here would be if you just exchanged the word “fat” or “overweight” for “skinny.” All of you guys who are defending what the OP says about slender mothers would be really changing your tune, no? Goes both ways. Slender moms do not owe anyone an explanation about their bodies any more than the mothers who hold onto a little extra weight.

  62. Amy Says:
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Amanda does look great, unfortunately she put people on the offensive even in the title of this post. I’m not sure why skinny chicks are suppose to be sensitive to those who don’t have it so easy, if one wants to share their story to get feedback it shouldn’t be at the expense of anyone else, skinny or fat. Simply tell your story and leave the rest alone. If this is an uplifting site, none of us should be expressing having a “problem” with anyone. We are all mothers here who have shared in a common experience.

  63. Linda Says:
    May 20th, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Hey, I’m a skinny mom, and that’s not easy either! Since I’ve had my kids I’m having a hard time maintaining a healthy weight. Especially when I am under the weather I lose a few pounds and all of my energy (even fainted in a shopping mall while clinging on to my daughter’s stroller, a few years ago). I started exercising a year ago and the extra muscle mass helps me to keep those pounds on and put the nourishment I give to my body to good use.
    You look fantastic, as do all the moms on this website regardless of their shapes and sizes. We’ve got nothing left to prove after having given life! I celebrate all of you :)

  64. sarah Says:
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Hmmm…. not that this totally applies…but skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy, and chubby doesn’t mean unhealthy. Just be healthy and happy with who and what you are!

  65. Ami Says:
    May 23rd, 2010 at 8:45 am

    What are you talking about, woman? You have a great looking stomach. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be frustrated; I’m right there on the fence with you. However, I am also talking from both perspectives. I was 20 when my first son was born, gained 50+ lbs (eek), and had dropped it what felt like almost over night (yes, less than 2 months). At that time I was in the military so when people asked, I attributed it to that but who am I kidding? I was lazy and if I’d actually had to do a PT test, I would have failed miserably. My second son was born on the day I turned 23; once again the same story. I do have a slight belly but it’s not really noticeable to anyone but myself. Now here is where it goes downhill. I had my first daughter and I wound up with a section. I couldn’t get rid of that belly now and the sit-ups I had to do hurt like hell. I wasn’t doing them because I wanted to but because I had to for the military. I now have a perpetual bulge that only put me up a couple of pant sizes but looks gargantuan to me (it really wasn’t). I have my second daughter, section again. Blah blah blah. There’s not really anything special about this, I know. Here’s why I wanted to comment. I really DO look like I’m around 5-6 months pregnant; that is the size my doctor has measured me at. I have a form of internal endometriosis wherein not everything is able to leave properly during my cycle and it’s caught in the muscle lining of my uterus. Excess has slowly built up in there and stretching everything out over the last four years; the cysts don’t help matters either. Let me tell you, this HURTS both emotionally and physically. I have 2 periods every month (the second is excess finally draining that got caught the first time around), I’m exhausted, and at least once a week I face total strangers coming up to me and gushing the big question: when am I due. Now, I’m not saying this to complain. I am not bitter (I was) and I have actually accepted my body for what it is. I just wanted to say this so you have a better perspective of just how good you actually look and what I wouldn’t give to be there again without having to have surgery. My ordeal will end next year when I have finally saved enough money to pay for a surgeon to perform a hysterectomy because that’s the only long term solution to deal with this. However, the doctor has already advised me that I will most likely never lose my belly because it’s been distended so long. So please, count your blessings. Cuddle your little one and your husband, accept you paid a small price to get your baby here and rejoice that you still have your health along with it.

  66. Anonymous Says:
    August 5th, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Amen sister!

  67. nicole Says:
    September 24th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Wow, I am skinny… Iam currently pregnant with my 6th boy… I do not perform some sort of magic to get my tummy and body back after the baby is born. I quite literally work my ass off to look good……. I think you are a bit dramatic and judgemental… Its funny how noones allowed to say anythign to an overweight person, but I here a LOT of overweight people talking pure crap about smaller sized women… I am sorry you are having a hard time with your image and body right now, and I really do hope that gets better. BUT whether it doesn or not has no impact on whether someone else is skinny or not…….

  68. candace Says:
    March 27th, 2011 at 8:30 am

    im not i hater but i get jealous. i am a single mom i hiked and jogged throught my pregnancy and only craved healthy thing … and tostitos lol. i am 13m pp. and have worked out since the day after my daughters birth ( i ignored my doctors requests?)i jog for atleast 2 hours daily have ( my daughter loves it ) we do morning stretched and push up crunches and the ab cirlcle i do not own a tv and only eat fresh produce and soy nuts. and yet … i still have a bit of a tummy. the “mama pouch” i was one who was blessed with no stretch marks however i didnt recieve any boobs lol… im still an “a” cup. im healthy but am not attractive naked ( to my eye) but isnt that every woman? evry women is self conscious. wether she is 200 lbs 140 lbs( me) or 100 lbs. sure i would love to get rid of the bump but thats not whats important

  69. nikki Says:
    August 27th, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    I have one child, now 2 1/2 years. I am 23 years old and I had no problem going back to my weight. I lost all my baby fat and that baby pouch roll at 3 months post-partum and by 9 month post I was where i am now; 115 pounds. Before I was pregnant I weighed an avg 125-130 pounds. Im 5′ 6″ tall and no Im not starving myself. I generally eat healthy and still eat dessert after every meal and inbetween lol. I love my body more than ever. I think i eat more than i did as a teenager. So next time you see a thin mom with a baby on her hip, dont think she doesn eat her burgers or has time to work out. I have been working since my babe was 1 1/2 months old, im a single mom, and now that he’s 2 years; How the heck do I have time to worry about me?! Yea I wasted my money too, I got some stretch marks on my tummy, but they dissapear overtime..not that big deal.
    I love my mommy shape, it looks way better than britney spears mommy body, who wouldn’t brag?

  70. Anon Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Kinda funny…how do you know that the thin woman from the library hasn’t posted on this very site? None of us know what she struggles with, or what her personal demons are. I am a thin mom, and I get snarky comments sometimes (4yrs PP), and yet here I am – everyday I dress to hide all the extra skin on my tummy. It hangs down when I bend over and sometimes gets caught in my waistband. But you wouldn’t know that.

  71. Anon Says:
    April 24th, 2012 at 11:39 am

    … One other thing; I was thin before getting pregnant, gained 90lbs. How did I lose it? I got sick. Daily migraines, hyperthyroidism and ultimately a partial thyroidectomy. I had a 4th degree tear during delivery and the repair was…lacking. I pee whenever I cough, sneeze, blow my nose, etc. The meds I have been on since the birth of my son result in constant loose stool (i.e. I haven’t crapped a solid in 4yrs!!) So when someone asks how I stay thin? Yeah, I going to go with the nice, pretty – chasing my son around answer. ;)

  72. nikki Says:
    January 18th, 2013 at 8:58 am

    I too think you are being a bit harsh. Yes that other moms body is probably geneticly programed to be smaller but I guarantee you she does not have a washboard stomach two months after giving birth. Believe me because I am one of those moms you are complaining about and this bitterness and assumptions felt from other women is all to real for me, before during amd after my pregnancies. Its hurts a lot that woman disregard our pain and insecurities because we look “thin” but we too have bodies that have been altered from pregnancy and our pain is just as real as any others. Women always say to me wow you look great two month old baby and back to before baby body :( um no not even close…but I cant say anything because I am thin I do not have the right to exress my sadness and pain. Before the baby I had the body of a victoria secret model and that was me that was all i knew i dont know how to be this other person. I was fortunate enough to not get stretch marks and no loose or stretched skin and that makes other moms angry at me…why? What did i ever do to you? And I know many woman will still say oh boo hoo and be angry and disregard my feelings but thin mom go through the emotional whirlwind as well. I also want to say please stop judging thin moms and saying oh it must be nice to have the weight just fall off but is that what they assume…that it felll off? You need to take into account the before baby body size, how healthy active was she during pregnancy, how much weight gain during pregnancy, healthy eating after baby and exercise exercise exercise and yes eventually after a lot of hard work I get back down to 115 pounds at 5’9 and no I don’t starve myself. I do it for myself as well as my husband I love him to death and I know he loves me no matter what but I try my best to keep being the girl he fell in love with.Thin moms are uncomfortable telling other moms that they ate healthy and exercise so the common response is ya I chase the kids around all day or some other stupid answer because we are afraid to say we are sad too and we hate our new body too so we keep it bottled up and cry when we are alone and cant express our worries because we are judged constanty we are afraid to say that we do work for it “some work harder than others” but it doesn’t come for free..yes the smaller frame is free but flat stomach and abs, tight butt, losing the last twenty pounds not free at all.

  73. Julie Says:
    March 20th, 2013 at 12:16 am

    I think saying good genes or lucky is much fairer too. Saying it’s because of running around after them kind of assumes the ‘fat’ mums aren’t and that’s not fair at all. Maybe they could be more specific about diet or exercise but certainly the ‘running around after them’ thing is a bit out there. Aren’t ALL mums doing that, so if it was just that then ALL mums would be flat. I think it’s fair for this mumma to call them out on not being truthful. It’s not a stab at skinny chicks, only the ones that aren’t honest about it! Skinny bashing is as bad as fat bashing but lying isn’t on either. Perhaps if more skinny girls were honest about how their bodies changed even though they lost the weight instead of brushing it all off with a flippant lie then we could all bond instead of feeling awkward <3

  74. Charlotte Says:
    April 26th, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I hate how desperatly jealous of my thin mum friends I am. I hated my body before and now I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. It just all seems so unfair. I feel sorry for my partner, I’m sure he must be embarrassed by me. I’m dieting and going to the gym but 4 months on I look the same even though I have lost 22 kilos. I wish I didn’t feel this way, I wish I wasn’t so jealous of everyone else’s bodies. Why does it always feel like you are the only one with stretch marks?! No one else I know has them. Thank god for this site I feel normal and not alone.

  75. I. G. Says:
    October 1st, 2013 at 5:08 am

    What if she really thought she was thin because of chasing her kid? Just because it didn´t awfully matter to her and she didn´t think day in and day out about why she was thin and others were not so the question surprised her?

  76. MDLW Says:
    January 19th, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    I’m late to this article I see, but pregnant with my first and really struggling with weight gain. I worked out hard and dieted before getting pregnant but due to complications had to stop, and of course eat larger more well-balanced meals, which has led to being much thicker than I would like. I wish people hadn’t given you such a hard time. They obviously never felt the same way or they would understand that criticism was the last thing you needed. I agree with you and I don’t feel the least bit bad for thin mothers who still got stretch marks. At least you can cover that up with clothes! Some of us got the stretch marks AND the huge thighs and hips that DO NOT cover up with clothes! In an ideal world we would all be happy with what me have, but sometimes (especially when you’re hormonal) you can’t help the way you feel. So I thank you for the article, it made me feel less alone.

  77. Ggirl Says:
    March 7th, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    Jealous moms, I have a problem with YOU!

    Hey, I am one of those moms that had a flat belly two months (or three) after the birth of my son. I have always been trim and I am an athlete as well. But you know what, we “lie” because we know everyone resents us. Why would anyone who supposedly “knows” that it’s mostly “amazing genes” put us in a position to have to justify it in the first place?
    By the way, I don’t lie. I say, “I’m just lucky.” “My parents were fit and athletic.” Sometimes I combine those with, “I have been an athlete for 2o years.” Whatever, but why do I have to justify it in first darn place? It’s not like I went out of my way to lose my baby weight, it just happened. I wish women weren’t so darn competitive and insecure with one another.

  78. Elizabeth Says:
    February 27th, 2015 at 7:51 am

    Having recently lost my baby weight and dropped to ten pounds below pregnancy weight, I have often been asked how I did it. Like the mom mentioned above, I will usually try to brush it off on being kept busy by my baby, or something similar, simply because I feel like it’s more polite than answering truthful. The real reason I dropped 35 pounds, despite having a hypothyroidism and endometriosis (“genetics” have not blessed me), was that I logged every single thing I ate or drank, counted calories, ate clean, balanced macros, and switched between running 5k or weightlifting every day. It’s ok to struggle with losing that baby weight – you’re not alone; it’s not okay to guilt other women who work hard for that body, but are too polite to detail their regime to strangers.

  79. FitThinMom Says:
    March 9th, 2015 at 6:30 am

    i am 5’8″ and was 120 lbs before pregnancy. i did NOT “eat for two”. that is such gluttony enabling BS.

    i ate the absolute minimum amount of calories required to develop a healthy 8 lb baby (approx 300-500 extra calories over my maintenance level every day sometime around the end of the first trimester). i worked out 4 times a week until about the 8th month of pregnancy. this included weights + cardio + yoga. i wasn’t sitting around on pillows for 9 months so my back and legs were throughout.

    my beautiful baby was born healthy :) i took a few weeks off any kind of training afterwards for the immediate breastfeeding and intense maternity time but was still mindful of calories i ate. i was no longer eating above maintanence.

    then i started going for nice long walks with baby in tow and eating at a caloric deficit (500 below maintenance daily) to lose weight over the period of 5 or 6 months. now i’m back to 120. a few stretch marks no big deal. i’m not “lucky”. i worked for it. now i’m back to my full blown fitness and feeling / looking good (my hubby is happy), loving being a mom and spending time with my baby.

    while i’m here i’m going to tell you secrets few if any thin moms will tell you. we don’t have “fast metabolisms”. we actually do go out of our way to watch what we eat. we usually skip appetizers and desserts intentionally because we know they are fattening calories. do you really need to reward yourself for a large meal with dessert? do you really need to eat before you eat, i.e. an appetizer? we count calories or at least are aware of portion control. do you really need seconds? we don’t drink that much because useless calories. we work out several times a week. no excuses. we don’t mindlessly eat chips out of a bag until it’s empty. if you can’t commit to yourself an hour of REAL fitness 4 times a week then you will always be heavy.

    being overweight is almost always a choice unless you have SEVERE physical limitations and a genuine medically diagnosed metabolic disorder. this is the harsh reality of many women’s AND men’s situation.


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