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Signs of a Mother (Danielle)

June 18, 2009

Yesterday I cried as I looked down at my saggy, stretch-mark belly. It complimented my fat hips and newly formed “mom-butt”. My boobs were unshapely under the bras that don’t quite fit and my once cute panties have seen better days. My skinny jeans sit in the bottom of a box along with the tank tops I’ll never wear again.

As I put on my high wasted jeans and loose top, I cried. It just didn’t seem fair. All day I moped around the house, feeling gross and unappealing. I felt disgusting, all because I gave birth to my gorgeous daughter. It didn’t seem right.

And it isn’t.

Everywhere shows us what women are supposed to be. Apparently, mothers are not one of those things. The idea of child-bearing has changed so much in the past few decades. What was once an accomplishment, a success is now more of an inconvenience. As soon as that baby is out, it’s back to the gym to get rid of the fat and marks, so in a few weeks it’s as if you never had a child. And maybe that’s the point.

Today is the day I start trying to lose the weight. Get my thighs back to a reasonable size, and the new hips have got to go. Maybe, I’ll keep those stretch marks for a bit longer (as if I had a choice). Just to remind me of all I had to endure to create the perfect little girl. They are something not just anyone has. They are the sign of a mother.

Name: Danielle
Age: 22
Children: One, she’s one month old

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22 Responses to “Signs of a Mother (Danielle)”

  1. TracyKM Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 9:19 am

    You’re only a month PP? Wow, the way you were sounding so down, I thought you’d been struggling for years! At one month your uterus hasn’t even shrunk back down to ‘normal’ size yet! Why on earth wouldn’t you wear a tank top again? You look damn fine for only 4 weeks!
    I found babywearing to be an awesome full body workout. I wore my baby from day 3 till when she hit 35lbs. My fitness level went downhill quite quickly after stopping. In the early days, I wore her almost all day–I had two other busy kids so it made life so easy. In the end, we’d go for a daily 2 mile walk to the school and back, with her on my back. It was fabulous for my back, legs, butt and even belly (pushing a stroller lets you lean forward and use just your shoulders; you can’t do that while babywearing!).
    It’s great to read your change of attitude! Just remember, you really are still recovering from pregnancy, you don’t need to try to change anything yet :)

  2. Mary Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    Dont be so down on yourself, your only 1 month pp and it looks like your body is just baby fat, it goes down, I promise! After my first I looked just like you and I didnt get my body back for a year, the stretch marks are a different story, but they fade A LOT! Dont get rid of your old clothes, you may be back in them again, and if your not, you have great curves!

  3. crystal Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I can’t believe that you are only 1 month pp! Hunney you look great. I think there is a certain pressure out there for moms to just automatically go back to pre-preg weight and to have that flat tummy again right away. It really sucks that there is that pressure because if we don’t get back down to our “normal” size soon after the birth we start to blame ourselves. I think if we keep in mind that “WE JUST HAD A BABY” and “THIS IS NORMAL” we will be okay. I think you look great and in due time you will begin to agree..hopefully! Congratulations on your new baby!

  4. Lauren Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:51 am

    I’m 22 also, having my first child in August. I’m terrified of the changes I’m going to go through afterward. At our age I think its easier than ever to fell prey to the ‘perfect woman’ lies glaring at us from every magazine cover and movie poster – because a lot of those women are OUR AGE. But they don’t have beautiful babies, they don’t have families, they don’t have responsibilities like we do. Their full-time job is to make other women feel insecure and make our men lust after them. They are the ones who should feel crappy at the end of the day. We are the real women and we should feel beautiful. I think you look really great just one month out!! Just take care of yourself and your body will do what its supposed to!

  5. shannon Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    I love this post…it is so true. I am also 22,2 kids, both cesarean. I hate that we are expected to be tiny again right after having a baby! But anyway, you look great, especially for only 1 month pp. Enjoy your baby girl! I have a post under cesarean, “5 weeks pp 2nd baby”, my first post is, “missing my baby boy and expecting my second”.

  6. natalie Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    You look fantastic! I still look that way 19 months later!

  7. ashley Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    honestly you dont even look like you had a baby, especially for being one month postpartum. you can see my entry im 8 almost nine months postpartum and i envy you, you look fantastic

  8. Lee Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    i had my first kid at 24 and im five ten so i didnt get fat or marked up, BUT if you want to get fit fast DANCE! get an ipod and dance alonein your room for like 15-30 a day thats all you need to do right now…i did and 3 months later i was fitter than ever, Im not kidding. my stomach now is better than pre baby to be honest. Iam currently 28 and 6 months pregnant and im still very fit with no stretch marks, i think its from dancing. Try it.
    And besides being a mom is way better than not, and a hot one is even better than that!

  9. Catherine S Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Actually, you are looking great, especially for only one month PP. Your figure is very feminine and looks like you are bouncing back rather quickly. Give it a few more months and you will really see a difference. I was a 12 at 1 month pp and at 9 months pp am a 6 and have lost about 20 lbs since then. It really does get better.

  10. Angèle Says:
    June 18th, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    You may not like the way you look because you are comparing yourself to your before baby body! But honnestly, it doesnt even look as though you had a baby! You are only a month out! OMG! I was still 7 months pregnant looking by then wearing my maternity pants for 5 months longer!! Please try to look in the mirror and see the beauty that has created your baby girl! ..

    Want a pick me up? Check out my post before yours! lol ;)

  11. H Says:
    June 19th, 2009 at 5:02 am

    Hey there, there is NOTHING wrong with your body. Your marks will fade to a point where you can’t see them anymore, trust me, I’m a mother of three!! The third photo is sexy, and I love your body shape in this photo!!!!
    My stretch marks were the same as yours after my first baby. Take a look at my entry, 12 weeks postpartum, third pregnancy. I didn’t get any new marks with baby number three so it will give you an idea of what they WILL look like when they fade.
    I still have bad days, but don’t we all?!

  12. Lauren Says:
    June 19th, 2009 at 6:22 am

    I think you so so awesome. You are only one month post! Just because we are moms doesn’t mean we can’t ever fit into our old jeans. We just have to be realistic about our goals and stay healthy. You are on the right track. :)

  13. Christie Says:
    June 19th, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    *hug* Mate, you have so far to go in recovering from pregnancy and birth. As the ladies have mentioned above your uterus isn’t even back to pre-pregnancy size and shape, so there is no way that you can expect the rest of you to be! By the way your tummy is flatter than mine and I am nearly 1YEAR PP :)

  14. Mama Says:
    June 20th, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    This is a beautiful and wonderful post. Congratulations!!!!

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  16. Mother of 1 1/2 month-er Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    i am feeling your pain, I all depressed and unattractive some days.. I have been small my whole life and i have 3 children total… but this last one i am having trouble bouncing back from. And its easy to get depressed over your old figure that sadly is not longer with you… my skinny jeans and tanks are still in my drawers as incentive to get my butt moving to lose the weight…. So just keep telling your self i have a beautiful baby and shes worth the extra work it’ll take to work it off… Sigh that what i keep telling myself…LOL

  17. kassy :) Says:
    June 24th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    so… i am 22 and just had my little one on May 5, 2009. Your post almost made me cry. I feel the same way you do. i have this saggy skin, i feel i wont ever loose. i was 146 (healthy) before. Im 165 now, and need to loose this baby weight. Im stuck. I have no idea how. Im sooo tired, and everything just piles up. I have no time for anything. I dont know what we are going to do mama. I cry alot. I hate my momma body.

  18. vatara Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    gurl be happy!!! dont pout because of how you look. i did the same thing after i had my son but you know what, that voice in the back of my head said snap out of it! you are beautiful and sexy and you can stop any man in his tracks! that same day i bought a two piece bikini and showed off my stretchmarks and you know what happened? i got so many compliments and people telling me how beautiful i was. not one rude comment was said. DANIELLE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! your body did what it was suppose to do and it did the job pretty well. embrace your curves and your marks cause once you do that, your confidence level will go up so high, you might not touch the ground LOL. love yourself, you’re beautiful

  19. Mir Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    You’re not gonna wanna hear this again, but if you’re only 4 weeks post-partum then you have little to worry about. And, I’ll give you grace because you’re probably riding the post-partum hormonal/emotional rollercoaster too. My son is 20-months old and I would probably kill someone if I could have a body that looks as nice as yours right now. Mom boobs, mom butts, mom bellies and those damn stretchmarks all suck–and I’ll give you that. No one needs to tell you that you’re more happy than you are sad because you said yourself that you “made the perfect little girl”–the fact that you can still comfort yourself with that inner belief is something–a big something. Life is more than hip-hugging pants and skimpy tank tops. You’ll be okay, give yourself at least 6 months (by God, you were pregnant for 9!)

  20. Jennifer Says:
    July 15th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Your body will still change its only been one month!!!! Take my word….. Hang in there and don’t give up on your body. =) You inspired me! Im off to do lunges!!! lol

  21. jill Says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    i love the color in thsee photos. i looked very similar to you at one month. now it’s been four and i look better but i still wish i’d either got the fat or the stretch marks. both, seriously. so lame. i hope they fade a ton for me.

  22. lillydawn Says:
    January 24th, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    you are beautiful. these pics are so artistic! I hope one day you look at them and see the beauty in each one.

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