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Breast Envy (Kerry)

January 27, 2011

1 pregnancy/birth 20 months pp
Age 20
34b to 42 D to 34b

So I posted at 1 year postpartum and was pretty sure I would not post again until I was pregnant or pp with my second child, (we are going to start trying in the fall!) but I’ve been having some insecurities with my breasts lately, which I never thought would happen, so I came here for support. I never thought I would care what my breasts looked like because to me they were simply for nourishing my children and up till a few months ago I didn’t care what they looked like. Before I got pregnant they were small but I didn’t care. I never wore a bra and loved how perky they were. Now if I don’t wear a bra I feel 60. I do not hide them, nor am I ashamed, but I’d just like to know there are more momma’s out there with “droopy” breasts like mine. I am still breast feeding and they are smaller than they were before I got pregnant! I am a little apprehensive about what they will look like after baby #2, or even 3. Did any of you experience this? Will there even be any boob left? lol I just bought my first push-up bras ever last week! When I stand sideways you see rib cage and a little bulge of skin with a nipple on it.I’ve gone from a 34b prebaby to 42d early days nursing to 34b after 20 months and still nursing. I have also lost 70lbs since having my son, after gaining 60 so I’m sure not having much extra body fat adds to the lack of breasts. A friend of mine got breast implants, and she is now “happy with her body” I feel sad that she wasn’t happy with her body before, but I also feel hypocritical that sometimes I envy her for having perky boobs again. But I guess it is all part of the journey. I know my insecurities may seem so trivial to some of you, but I’ve been through a lot with my body, and love it and appreciate it, but sometimes I still feel like I’m the only young mom out there like this! Don’t we all? I just want the silence to end! I’m putting my SOAM bumper sticker on this week!

“start a trend, love your body” prepregnancy
other picture 20 months pp-20 years old

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23 Responses to “Breast Envy (Kerry)”

  1. Shannon Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 8:17 am

    KERRY!!!!! You look amazing. I have body envy :) I will have to show you my breasts…since I stopped nursing, they look exactly the same! You really do look great, and I am sure your husband loves your body!

  2. Sarah P. Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 10:09 am

    I have tummy envy!!! Holy stomach muscles, Batman!!!

  3. Sabrina Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Your breasts look like mine and I didn’t breast feed. It actually makes me feel a lot better to see my reflection in your pic lol:) I am 5’9″ and went up to 164lbs right before delivery with 34D and 2wks pp, I was down to 130lbs and a 34A(back to pre pregnancy size) I was devastated and still have issues with my breasts. That’s the only area you can tell I had once been pregnant. Oddly though, they started to fill out and are now a 34B. I am done having kids (1 is more than enough for me lol) but maybe yours will fill back out after you’re done having kids too:) Thank you for your pic, honestly made me feel a lot better.

  4. em Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 11:06 am

    mine look JUST like that! i stopped nursing 6 months ago, at 13 months PP, and i thought maybe they’d perk up a bit by now. nope. they’re basically just extra skin with nips on them. i just want a lift no implants her. i like being an ‘A’ but i’d love being a perky ‘A’ again. sigh.

  5. josselyn Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 11:30 am

    i feel the same as you do, I didnt like my breast at all…i went from 36c to a 32 b….but then one of my much more larger chested friends got pregnant and she had bigger than 36d boobs, she was a E i think and after having her kid they sagged so much and only look good with the right bra…and she hates them and wishes she had small boobs so she could wear bikinis and cute tops like i can…theres a plus side to evrything i guess :)

  6. Terry Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Just for the record, breast implants don’t always “fix” a person’s self esteem. I HATED my breasts from the start. When I was 12 I wanted boobs so bad. All of my friends were starting to grow and I wasn’t. When I was in high school I was a 34A. After baby #3 I thought I was done and decided that I would get breast implants because I figured that would help me like my body. I was wrong. I hate my breasts still. I hate the fact that one hangs lower than the other (I know that NOBODY is symmetrical but that doesn’t mean anything to me). I hate the fact that they aren’t “real”. I found out after the fact that my husband prefers real breasts over fake ones. I was, however, successful in breastfeeding baby #4 after my surgery so that was a plus. Just give surgery a LOT of thought because it’s not the cure all that people think it is.

  7. Sarah Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I’ve had three kids and am still nursing my three year old. My bra size is a 36a and my breasts have the exact same shape/sag as yours do. I’ve always actually liked having smaller breasts and being able to go without bras. Let me just say that if I had a stomach like yours to go with my boobs I’d be ecstatic! I just started working out again and trying to regain a little tone in my abs but at 36 years old and after three kids the skin just won’t tighten back up but I’m okay with it…most of the time ;)

  8. Val Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    Have no fear….you still have something to push up! I’m struggling with the fact that after starting at a 34A pre-pg, going up to 36C during each pg (3), I’m not not pg or nursing and have gone done to a 36AA….which I’m not sure really exists, but it is what I need. I’m enjoying winter and sweatshirts and sweaters and not needing a bra, but honestly I’m struggling with the fact that I look like a teenage boy, totally flat chested. Mentally, it is hard to ‘feel’ like a woman.

  9. amber Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:08 am

    TUMMY ENVY!!! i love your tummy!! i posted blessed and tortured. Boobs look like mine too.

  10. Sarah P. Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    Val… I’m a AA, too. Gotta love those padded bras! I actually am not bothered by my small breasts! Less to sag when I’m older. ;)

  11. Col Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Hi ladies, just wanted to pop in here and let you know that 36AA bras certainly do exist (not that you need em!)
    I’m a size 32AA (no pregnancy) and there are certainly AA sizes out there to make you feel sexy :)
    To OP, you look amazing, omg I wish I had your body and I’ve never even been pregnant. Congrats!

    http://www.barenecessities.com/search.aspx?search=36AA&mode=1&cm_mmc=GLSR-_-36aa%20bra-_-Bra%20Sizes%20-%2036AA%20-%2036L%20-%20DKI-_-A&source=GoogleA&term=36aa%20bra&LID=74804697

  12. aa Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    my goodness… I feel like I am looking at myself in your picture! Our breasts identical. I have the most difficult time finding the right bras because my breasts are so deflated. My husband says he loves them. I need to believe him & love them myself! I think you look terrific. I need to believe that for myself. Thanks for posting. You are beautiful!

  13. Tosha M Says:
    January 29th, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    Omg! You are my boob double! I feel the same way about mine but my husband seems to like them. Thanks for posting I thought I was alone :)

  14. Tosha M Says:
    January 29th, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Btw you look great :)

  15. Colleen Says:
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    I haven’t been small chested since high school. A few months before I got pregnant I was sized as a 32F. When I finally got a properly fitting nursing bra 2 weeks postpartum, it was a 34H. Bras in letters that far into the alphabet shouldn’t even be allowed! After I stopped nursing I went back into my 34F bra from pregnancy, but after a few months on BC my breasts are hurting again so I think I need to go up a size. *sigh again!*

    Right after weaning I thought, “wow, they’re not really all that much saggier” (Because, let’s face it, an F cup isn’t perky to begin with). Then I compared pre-pregnancy pictures and post-BFing pictures side by side and WOAH are they lower! When I put on my bra I have to pull them up and tuck them in for it to be comfortable.

    To top all of this off I come from a family where the largest bra size is a B. My boobs are the constant family joke. But I’ll tell you what, my mother nursed all three of us and her breasts look a lot like yours. They fill out when she gains weight, but normally she barely fills an A.

    The thing is, though, breasts are going to go south whether or not you have kids. Nobody’s stay up forever. Yours, at least, have an awesome story and can say they NOURISHED A HUMAN BEING. I’d take yours over mine any day. Bear your mama boobs with pride!

  16. Kerry Says:
    January 31st, 2011 at 10:06 am

    I had to chuckle at the “pull them up and tuck them in” That is so what I do! If I just throw a bra on and dont adjust one nipple could be facing south east and the other north west!

  17. F Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 2:10 am

    I have breast fed all my babies and i had a nice set – not too big not too small.
    NOW I have nothing but saggy (UGH hate that word) bags…… I hate it and seriously have breast envy of any woman who has a nice rack.
    AND people who breast feed and then still have boobs after. Especially having a husband who has a thing for boobs. He still tells me i am lovely BUT i get so agitated around women who has nice ones because I think he is looking…..
    I have lost all tissue fullness and they are just revolting the only time they look any good (which i don’t even like to say that as i hate them) is when I am cold as they tighten up.
    Why does this happen to some and not others???

  18. F Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 2:12 am

    Mine have NOT filled out again with any weight gain and i am almost post baby weigh and because it is thin they are just like i said saggy bags :-( And someone tell me HOW some people get NO stretch marks and others get them EVERYWHERE.

  19. chris Says:
    March 9th, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    I started out as a 32 A pre-pregnancy, went to an H when my milk came in, and now, after nursing for 8.5 years consecutively for 3 kids, am at a 34 C. My party trick is that I can stick my nipple in my belly button. Be grateful you don’t have HEAVY boobs, because they really hurt your back, way worse than you would imagine.

  20. hbm Says:
    March 23rd, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    i am majorly struggling with this issue right now, and my husband and i have been talking a LOT about implants. not for him – he doesn’t care- but he wants me to feel “normal” again. i have always had small boobs and it didn’t bother me all that much until after i nursed two little beauties and was left with fried eggs (if that). i feel completely de-womanized. and i’m a very mentally stable, secure person! nobody would think twice if a woman got reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy. no, i haven’t had to battle cancer, but i do feel like my breasts have been “taken” from me. i’m tired of even the tightest tank tops bagging and sagging around the top, and for my shrunken little nothings to give everyone a nipple peep show when i bend over because they can’t even fill out the padded cups on the size 34AA bras i wear!!!
    we want one more child, so we are waiting for now. but we are serious about considering small, tasteful implants. i don’t think it’s about not loving your body, i think it’s about loving being a woman and wanting to look like one. isn’t that why we all wear padded push-up bras?! i don’t give a crap about my belly of stretchmarks, the cellulite on my ass, or any of that stuff. i’ll never wear a bikini again… fine! but when i’m laying on my back and there is literally NO raised surface where a boob should be, i just feel totally ripped off.

  21. Crystal Says:
    June 12th, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    These posts are so funny! It makes me feel better to see other women in my situation! Some of these posts…. I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears in my eyes. I know exactly what you’re talking about!!

    I was an A (maybe barely), went up to a C while pregnant/nursing 2 babies, and now I’m neither pregnant nor nursing and ACK! I haven’t seen these boobs for YEARS! I was used to (and prefer) the fuller version! They were small before, but had a nice shape. NOW they are small and saggy and have no fullness. Grrrr.

    Thanking God for a husband who loves my body anyway. Tho sometimes I think he’s lying. Haha. ;) What I do know, these precious kiddos are WORTH IT!!!

  22. Stephanie Mimi Says:
    September 9th, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    I started with 34A breasts…then had two babies and I breastfed both of my children. Now 3 months post-weaning, my breasts have shriveled to less than a 34AA. They sag, my nipples are permanently stretched and wrinkled and your breasts look to be at least twice as big as mine. Your breasts look amazing, especially since you are so thin and have breastfed. You should be happy to look at those in the mirror and proud that your breasts have done what they are naturally intended to do :) You look great, and I’m sure you will still look great even after more babies!

  23. Linda Says:
    January 30th, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    I think you look great. I wish we could see ourselves more clearly. Nursing two kids has deflated my breasts as well. Mine were 32ddd before pregnancy and 36h after. Now after weaning I fit best in a 36ddd if I can find it. Larger sizes are so expensive! I would love to have smaller breasts. My smaller breasted loved ones say they hate their flat chests but my breasts were a burden to me at an early age. Men stare and intrude. Gross ones too, in gross ways… trust me it isnt flattering. I have terrible balance and awful posture. And now if I dont wear a bra I might as well store my breasts in my pockets so they dont swing around and get caught under my arms. Which reminds me, I could lie on my back and my breast would lie down ride next to me. I could nurse in bed without even rolling over.

    Of course in a bra, they look fine as long as I make sure my nipples are pointed in the same direction. But for some reason I feel undignified, like they represent me to the world in a way that I dont agree with. I try to banish these thoughts and love what I have but it is hard.

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