Sad (Anonymous)

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy just over ten month ago. I didn’t have the best pregnancy with one thing and another. However nothing could of prepared me for giving birth. Lots of damage was caused which meant I had to have surgery after having my baby. This was for vagina reconstruction and to repair a fourth degree cut they gave me. Since having the baby I have had regular physio but still have no pelvic muscle at all. Which means I have stress incontience and urgency. I am also struggling to get down to the weigth I was before I had the baby. It is really getting me down. I have been back at work a while but just feel like am failing at everything. I hate the way I look and just don’t know what to do for the best anymore. I just can’t motivate myself to do anything. Am sure my husband thinks I should just get on with stuff and that 10 months on I should be getting on with things. Everyone around me who had babies at the same time are all back in shape and seem to have perfect babies that sleep through. My baby does not sleep through and never as however he is perfect other than that. Am I just being stuipd? How can I feel better? Thanks