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I have had a life long issue with my body. My sister and I agree it was made worse by our grandmothers constant comments such as “Turn side ways and you will look skinnier (in pictures) and “You know you don’t have to eat all of that.” I still have the scars from self hate and low self esteem.

When I was 16, 5’8, 140lbs, size 7/8 and literally starving, I thought I was fat and ugly. I limited myself to one small low fat meal a day. After dropping a dangerous 10 lbs in 2 weeks I still thought “Just 10 more”. Luckily I realized what I was doing to myself before it caused serious harm.

When I was 19 I began to cut myself with razor blades. I still have the scars and always will, some more visible and prominent than others. I didn’t fully recover until I was pregnant with my second son, I was sad and depressed and I tried to cut myself, but I couldn’t. I made myself, and realized I didn’t like it anymore. One more hurdle jumped.

I always wanted to be a mom. When I was pregnant with both my boys I loved my body, it was big and beautiful and it was growing a baby. After I had my first son I lost 30 of the 40lbs I had gained, yet I still thought I was so fat. After my second son I just gave up, I was fat and hated my body, I gave up on ever feeling pretty again. I went from a size 10/12 and medium, before my first son to size 16 and Xlarge, one year after my second son. I want to join a gym, and start working out, and to feel better about my body. But I know that before I can feel good about my body, I have to accept it. I could be skinny as can be, and I would still find something I thought was ‘too fat’.

I don’t know how to get over that, but after looking at your site I feel better knowing that I am not alone, and realize that everyone woman has to come to terms with her post pardum body in their own way. Hopefully I can come to terms with mine before my children (and future children) begin the cycle of self hate and low self esteem that I have had to travel.

In my second picture you can see three light scars on my stomach from where I cut myself. They are a bit more prominet when pregnant, but thankfully they now blend in with my fading stretch marks, my beautiful badges of motherhood.

My husband says I am beautiful, and I know he means it. I just hope someday I can believe it as well.

I just found this site a few days ago and it has really inspired me to be more comfortable with my body. I have been overweight all my life and being perpetually pregnant for the last 3 years hasn’t helped any. I love being pregnant though and wear my stretch marks and deflated boobs with pride!

The first pic here is of me 35(!) weeks pregnant with my twin girls Donna and Maria. I was very large, very uncomfortable, and very stretched out at that point. I am now 11 months post-partum and 20 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins. I have all the stretch marks to prove it…plus this weird blob of hanging fat below my stomach. The second and third pics are of me this evening. As you can see, my boobs haven’t faired too well either.

I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world though. I am hoping to have at least one more baby after these twins come out so I just have to learn to live with this body. I think being able to post these pics is a big step in the right direction.

All my life all I ever wanted was to be a mom. My first babysitting job was when I was 12, a six month old girl. I watched her til she was 2yrs.

At 16 i became pregnant with my now 3 year old daughter, whom i love very much. And my body was never the same. I was once a 5ft9 120lb beautiful woman, who turned into a 180lb person i never seemed to know. I was ashamed of my body, but never had enough motivation to change it. I never wore shorts and felt horrible i couldnt take my daughter to the playground on 80degree days.

Now at 20 and pregnant with my second body ive come to terms with the hand i was dealt. I know weigh 214lbs gaining just 14 of of that during my so far 35 week pregnancy. I plan on working hard to be able to feel comfortable this year and to be able to enjoy a long life with my daughters.. Here are 2 pictures of me at 35 weeks pregnant. I plan on posting my ‘pregnancy honor-stripes’ and my post pregnancy self later. Thank you for looking :)

3rd pregnancy. Breasts at 30 weeks.

My husband took this picture of me at 30 weeks pregnant with our first child. I’m now 34 weeks and we are both so in love with this baby already. It’s amazing how much you can care for someone you haven’t even met yet. Not much longer and we’ll be holding him in our arms.

Just so everyone knows. Stretchmarks are not the worst thing in the world. I only gained 42lbs with my First baby. When he was born he weighed a Good 8lbs 3ozs and was 20 1/2 inches long. I have about 5 lbs to go before I get back to a size 13. I had a little pudge to start with and now since I had my Son its a saggy pudge, but I don’t care because all I ever wanted was to have a bunch of children, and I guess I am off to a Good start. Here are my photos I hope everyone enjoys.

Lily’s Care Page has been updated. If you are following the story, please log in to read it, they have requested I not copy it here.

Thank you.

This is a pic of my c/s two days after. I had my son Bobby on January 23rd 2007, our 4th and final child. I am breastfeeding (first time!), and LOVE every aspect of my body, all 240 lbs of it! I was about 165 before our first son, and the smallest I ever was, was 130. I HATED my body then. Go figure.