Second Pregnancy

Obsessed with how I should have done better (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 9 Comments

I fell in love and moved away with my military husband at 18. We had our 1st baby (a 10 lb-er) when I was 26- I was away from all of my family and friends and gained 70 lbs. I didn’t know anything about eating, stretch marks, etc. I thought it meant eating for 2 (or 3!) and just doing whatever I wanted. Then, the baby came and my body was covered with saggy, stretch marked skin. Then, 2 years later, the twins came. I took much better care of myself but still gained 45 lbs and carried them to 38 weeks (7.5 lbs & 6.5 lbs). What was saggy breasts and belly became saggy EVERYTHING (thighs, butt) and body acne. :( I struggled with post partum depression after both pregnancies (pretty severely) and a husband who was deploying regularly, dealing with his own extremely stressful life, and not knowing WHAT to do with his formerly beautiful wife. When the twins were 18 months old I had a “mommy makeover” even though I should have waited until I was done losing weight. (Background- I had a 3 inch muscle separation in my stomach, it hung past my crotch, and my boobs…oh my gosh my boobs) Now my twins are 5 and my oldest is 7 and even though I work out regularly & eat well I believe I still look terrible. I’m now obsessing over getting implants and scar revisions and laser skin treatments. I know how “Real Housewives” bull-crappy that sounds, but it’s how I feel. The crazy part is, when I look at all of the other women on this site, I truly believe they look beautiful and can’t believe how hard they are on themselves (except for the ones who look perfect, inexplicably :)). I’m making great strides in all areas of my life but this one. I’m enjoying my children so much now and becoming more and more happy with life but my husband is obviously unhappy with my body. Thanks for reading- I know how self involved this sounds- I’m really trying to get over this and this is the 1st step- I’ve been thinking about submitting here for ages and can’t believe I actually took PHOTOS.

Age: 34 Pregnancies/births: 2/3 Children’s ages: 7,5, & 5

Still Struggling (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 15 Comments

This will be my 3rd submission and I’m sad to say things have not gotten better. I had my daughter in 2008 after a 50lb weight gain. The stretch marks do not bother me, I could care less if anyone sees them. It’s my stomach I hate. I was skinny when my husband and I got together. Since then I’ve gained 40 lbs. I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore even though he tells me he does. He is a porn addict and will not accept it. He hides it from me, using private browsing when he watches. Uses the bathroom (BM) several times a day. A normal person does not poop 3-4 times a day. I guess he thinks I’m stupid, he tells me thats what he’s doing. I’ve given up trying to talk about it because he just shuts down or denies it. I just let it happen and let it eat away at me little by little. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, they turn it back on me and say it’s my fault. Every guy does it and it’s normal. This is not normal….. I go online and read blogs and other websites with other women dealing with the same thing and most of the time it helps me get by. We HAVE watched the porn together and we always do new crazy things, even thing I’m not necessarily thrilled about but I try them because he wants to. But I saw something on one the other day. The guy said he has to get off to porn because that’s the only way he’ll ever see an attractive woman naked because his wife isn’t anymore because she has put on weight since having their son. That hurt! We go through so much to have these babies and for a husband to say that about his wife who has given birth to their son just hurts my heart. It left me wondering, does my husband feel the same way? Is that why he watches it so much? He doesn’t initiate much anymore, especially recently. I’m 4 months pregnant with our second baby, a baby boy! I am terrified it’s going to make my body worse. I’m not eating properly. I haven’t gain any weight, I’ve in fact lost 10 lbs since my first doctors appt. I’m scared my husband finds me repulsive and to think he could be thinking what that guy said, tears me apart. He’d never tell me if he did, so I’m left to wonder……

Pictures are of me today at 4 months pregnant.

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 ( 1 miscarriage, one birth, currently pregnant)
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 years PP

My today after two children and significant weight loss. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 36
Number of pregnancies/births: 5/2 (both c-sections)
Children aged 5 years and 14 months

I’m 36 years old and fascinated by your website! What a great idea to show realistic photos of women who have given birth.

Here’s my story:
My first child was born in 2008. It was my first pregnancy and, being overweight, I started with187lb (I’m only 5,2ft).

At the end I weighed 209 lb and I had a c-section which wasn’t planned at all and which left me very unhappy for a long time.

To my surprise all the weight I had put on was gone after 4 weeks (a lot of water) and also my stretchmarks didn’t look so bad. However, my belly looked worse than before the pregnancy and even then I hadn’t liked it.

In the following I lost and gained weight as so often in my life.

And we wanted to have another child, but unfortunately I had 3 miscarriages, all in the first trimester.
My 5th pregnancy was successful again! I started and ended with the same weight as in my first pregnancy and again it was a c-section after endless hours of labour.

Breastfeeding worked a lot better than with child #1, but after 2 months I didn’t have enough milk anymore and had to stop.

My weight went from 209 lb down to 194 lb in the weeks after birth but then it stopped and I felt very uncomfortable.

So I decided to change my lifestyle and within a year I lost another 62 lb. I feel so much better and with 133 lb I’m as thin as I had been about 10 years ago.

With clothes on I find my shape pretty ok now , but things look different when I’m naked. My belly has never been nice and flat, but now it’s wrinkly and saggy (in the pictures it looks better than in reality). Also my breasts don’t look like they used to, but still I find them quite nice. Other than my belly which somehow feels as if it doesn’t belong to me as it really wobbles around. For the extra skin I think this won’t become any better or nicer. I was even thinking about surgery, but when I found this website I saw that many women have a belly like mine and that it’s nothing uncommon for a woman who was pregnant.

Trying to Accept My New Breasts (Maya)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 19 Comments

First I need to excuse my bad english, which is not my mother language. I am a 34 years old german mother of two wonderful children. The first, my daughter, was a c-section, my son was born vaginally. My daughter ist 3.5, my son 1.3 years old.

I love this website, it gives me so much reading the posts of moms who feel the same way than me. For a very long time I hadn’t had the heard to post here because I know objectively seen I don’t look that bad. I was lucky getting no strechmarks and having an almost flat belly. I got varices in my second pregnancy. It needed to be operate on and my disorders are gone. But my legs still don’t look fine, and never will.

But, however, I am struggeling with how my breast looks like. My breast never was very big, but beautiful. They had a nice shape and were perky. Now they‘re tiny, saggy and flat! Unfortunatly I have no picture from my non-mommy breasts. I always wore a 34B before heaving children. Now I had a brafitting and know this had never been my true size (I wear a 30D now!). So you may have an idea of my “old breast size”. During pregnancy and breastfeeding time my breast was huge (for me), (fitted) 30F in my second pregnancy! During my first pregnancy it was even bigger and I wore absolutely crazy sizes that hadn’t fit.

I find that my “new“ post-partum breast doesn’t fit to the rest of my body. I am slim but I always had kind of a “latino bottom“ and “strong legs“. I was not happy about this in the past, but it’s ok. This is me, I ever looked like this. But I feel like this breast is not mine! As if it have lost its sexual attractivity. I feel so unwomenly! This breast could look fine when I was a skinny, petite type. My breasts alway were a part of my body that I liked and sometimes even loved. I had been happier if they would have been one size bigger, but most time I was ok with them. My legs and sometimes my bottom had been my biggest body issues over the years. Now I don’t matter about them and hate my breast. I really don’t know I can learn to love or like them again.

Like most women‘s husband here my husband loves my body and breast. He just dosen’t love my self-insecurity and is tired to hear. That is a problem because he is my very best friend and now I dare to speak with him about my feelings for my body afraid of he could be turned off. I’m not sure if this is the right english formulation for what I want to say, so I hope you can understand what I mean. I have no one to talk with about my worries neither none of my friends beeing afraid I could hurt someones emotions when I speek bad about my body knowing or wondering if she is struggeling more with her body than me.

I breastfed both children for 10 months. I stopped brestfeeding my son 5 months ago. My breast has already got a little better since then. I hope and pray that it will regain volume in one or two years. I need to admitt that I’m jealous of most women here, they all sem to have more breast than me.

My Postpartum Body (Courtney)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 11 Comments

My name is Courtney Bray, I am 20 years old and live in Washington State with my husband and two beautiful girls.
I am a mother of 2.

In my first pregnancy I gained 55 lbs. Stretch marks spread almost all the way up to my breasts. My skin hung and my belly button did as well.

I cried. I cried over and over. I contemplated what I thought was “reconstructive” surgery. I thought my husband wasn’t attracted to me. Every time we passed a skinny attractive woman on the street my heart burned in envy. I dreaded the arrival of summer.

Then I finally lost the weight. I changed my diet entirely and became very passionate about organic food and the fight against Monsanto, the FDA, and USDA. However, despite new passions and a slim body, I hated my stomach. I still cried. Selfishly. Ignoring the immense reward that became of it; my sweet baby.

My second pregnancy came along. This time I felt determined to not gain that crazy amount of weight again. This time, I only gained 35 lbs. I worked out, didn’t limit myself physically, and ate clean. I felt more amazing than I had ever felt in my life. This time I loved being pregnant. I glowed. I didn’t want it to stop.

When I delivered my stomach was flat again after 1 month with the help of wrapping my postpartum tummy. I still have mild diastasis recti though.

This time I cried for a different reason. Staring in the mirror at my stretch marks, I cried. I cried because I loved them. I brushed my fingers over them, pulled at my loose skin a little and smiled. Tears running down my face. I kept on crying, because I finally realized that I love this body so much more than the body I had 3 years ago. This body was the look of true beauty, of work and reward, of suffering and love.

My body is perfectly “ruined”.

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Trying to Love Myself (JC)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies/births: 2/2
~My children’s ages: 20 months & 3 weeks

~My story: I started my first pregnancy weighing about 135-140lbs (I’m 5’4″) – I was happy with my body, except for my tiny boobs & puffy nipples. I had just lost around 20 lbs very suddenly (had zero appetite for a few weeks due to a very rough/emotional summer) and was loving being “skinny” again!
I discovered I was pregnant when I went from eating nothing to eating EVERYTHING pretty much overnight. That and I couldn’t stay awake past 10pm for anything, lol. Anyhow, I ended pregnancy #1 @ 205lbs!! I blame the high weight gain on a combination of genetics, quitting smoking, eating “for two” after several weeks of not eating at all, being happy again, and grabbing breakfast and/or lunch at the drive thru WAY too often…

Baby #2 came as a bit of a surprise…we found out we were expecting again just days before celebrating baby #1’s first birthday!! My weight was still hovering around about 170lbs at this point, and had been for quite some time. =\ I ended pregnancy #2 at about 230lbs!!

Today, at 3 weeks postpartum, I am down to 190lbs. A LOT of my weight with both babies was water weight, so it drops drastically, then I get “stuck.” (Hoping I’m not “stuck” yet!!)

This time around I was also left with a good number of angry red/purple stretch marks on my belly. Baby #1 left me with a lot on my thighs, although the only ones on my belly were fairly light and appeared on my lower belly either during or after delivery! I’m starting to notice that wrinkly, saggy, deflated look as my belly gets “flatter” and the skin starts to “hang.” =P

I’m hoping to get back to around 145-150lbs at some point, so about 40lbs left, but this time around I am strangely at ease with my weight. 190lbs feels awfully thin after being well over 200 for a few months! That and there’s not much time or energy to worry about it with two boys under 2 in the house!!
For now I’m focusing on getting back to my pre-2nd-pregnancy weight of 170lbs, then I can start the journey back to 150lbs. Baby steps! I miss being thin, and I’d love to see a pic of me with only one chin (lol)….but I have two BEAUTIFUL baby boys to show for it, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!! (So cliche, but SO very true!!)

This website is such an inspiration – in fact the majority of the photos I’ve seen actually make me a bit jealous, lol. Just goes to show that even when we think the worst of our bodies, there are other people out there looking at us with a twinge of jealousy over our weight or shape or size!! I’m trying to love myself more…back rolls and stretch marks and saggy belly/boobs and all!! ;)

Twin Skin (Jessica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 9 Comments

Age: 27
Pregnancies/Births: 2
Age of children: 14 month old identical twin boys

Story: I gave birth to twin boys 14 months ago. I weighed 235 when they were born and dropped down to 187 while breastfeeding. My pre-pregnancy weight was around 180. I stopped breastfeeding at 9 or 10 months. I have since gained weight and am now 219. I’ve tried changing my diet for the better but I just can’t seem to drop pounds or get rid of the “twin belly.” There was a time for some months where I would eat everything in sight because of the stress and lack of sleep and now this is the outcome. I now have time to be depressed over my body since I do not have devote all my time to the boys since they are more independent and have each other to play with.

I try to take them out for walks but since it’s cold out, we can’t go everyday. I try to exercise when they nap but I feel like I am getting nowhere. If anyone has this problem and is making progress in at least losing some of the belly flap, please share any tips. I think this is the part of my body I hate most right now. My boobs are deflated but it’s nothing a bra can’t hide, however, the stomach is another story (and cellulite and stretch marks, but I am more concerned about fitting into clothes!) I can’t find clothes that fit right and can’t fit into any type of jeans, even maternity ones!

20 Years Old, 2 Babies (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 8 Comments

I’m 21 in February, I’ve had two boys very close together my eldest is 16 months my youngest is 4 months old. I feel like ill never be pretty again my body is wrecked. I have stretch marks I have a bigger stomach I don’t feel good about being me anymore. I wanted to post here to see what others thought just to see if I’m the only one feeling like this x

012714-anon-1

I Am So Many Things (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

Even if being a mother hasn’t come naturally to me, I’m thankful that my body was able to grow and bless me with children. They are my reason for living. They are my everything.

Let me start by saying that motherhood isn’t what I thought it would be. When I was growing up, I thought being a good mother was an instinct; I was convinced I’d know the ins and outs of it all, never questioning my own actions and how they affected my children. I thought I would give birth and once my baby arrived, life would continue on as it did before. Nobody warned me that the life you knew before pregnancy and birth ends once your baby is in your arms. Your previous life is no more. YOU are reborn. When I got pregnant with my son, I fussed over everything I ate and drank. I obsessively avoided things in my diet that I thought would harm him. When I delivered him, he was perfect. As he grew and developed, we were told we needed to get him evaluated for his “delays”. He was a late-bloomer for his speech and social skills (and still is, but is coming along). He is now 4, going to preschool, and his speech improves every single day. I’m amazed at the improvements he has made and he is and always will be my favorite little man. He is happy, funny and can always bring a smile to my face. When my son was 2.5, I unexpectedly got pregnant with my daughter. My pregnancy with her was much different. Things in my personal life were going very, very wrong and I was very stressed out and depressed. I wasn’t in a good place, to say the least. My diet sucked. My attitude sucked. My outlook sucked. I really feel like I did my daughter an injustice in this way and I still feel guilt over it. The only thing that kept me going were my son and daughter. As my daughter grew inside of me, her kicks were a constant reminder to me to be strong and forge ahead. When my daughter was born, things got better. And I can honestly say that my daughter saved me. She saved me from my depression. She saved me so I could be a better mother to my son. She saved me from hating myself. I see hope and happiness when I look at her. She’s my reminder of what I could’ve lost and what I gained. When I see my kids together, I see all the things I have to look forward to. Motherhood has been the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. I constantly second-guess myself. I make myself feel guilty for the things I wish I could do better for my kids. I feel bad when I need a break from them. Mostly, I feel extremely blessed that God has given me such beautiful, amazing children. Motherhood hasn’t come naturally to me. It is a daily struggle of questioning my actions and decisions as a parent. It’s hard. It’s a constant challenge. It’s something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’m also different now. Being a parent changes you in so many ways. Your priorities are different; you don’t come first anymore, your children do. Your attitude is different. Your opinions change. Things I said I would NEVER do in my early 20’s I’ve now done countless times. I may not be the same, but I never want to be the person I was before kids. I’m better because I’m a mother. I’m forever thankful for them.

~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 and 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 and 16 months