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Trying to Accept My New Breasts (Maya)

First I need to excuse my bad english, which is not my mother language. I am a 34 years old german mother of two wonderful children. The first, my daughter, was a c-section, my son was born vaginally. My daughter ist 3.5, my son 1.3 years old.

I love this website, it gives me so much reading the posts of moms who feel the same way than me. For a very long time I hadn’t had the heard to post here because I know objectively seen I don’t look that bad. I was lucky getting no strechmarks and having an almost flat belly. I got varices in my second pregnancy. It needed to be operate on and my disorders are gone. But my legs still don’t look fine, and never will.

But, however, I am struggeling with how my breast looks like. My breast never was very big, but beautiful. They had a nice shape and were perky. Now they‘re tiny, saggy and flat! Unfortunatly I have no picture from my non-mommy breasts. I always wore a 34B before heaving children. Now I had a brafitting and know this had never been my true size (I wear a 30D now!). So you may have an idea of my “old breast size”. During pregnancy and breastfeeding time my breast was huge (for me), (fitted) 30F in my second pregnancy! During my first pregnancy it was even bigger and I wore absolutely crazy sizes that hadn’t fit.

I find that my “new“ post-partum breast doesn’t fit to the rest of my body. I am slim but I always had kind of a “latino bottom“ and “strong legs“. I was not happy about this in the past, but it’s ok. This is me, I ever looked like this. But I feel like this breast is not mine! As if it have lost its sexual attractivity. I feel so unwomenly! This breast could look fine when I was a skinny, petite type. My breasts alway were a part of my body that I liked and sometimes even loved. I had been happier if they would have been one size bigger, but most time I was ok with them. My legs and sometimes my bottom had been my biggest body issues over the years. Now I don’t matter about them and hate my breast. I really don’t know I can learn to love or like them again.

Like most women‘s husband here my husband loves my body and breast. He just dosen’t love my self-insecurity and is tired to hear. That is a problem because he is my very best friend and now I dare to speak with him about my feelings for my body afraid of he could be turned off. I’m not sure if this is the right english formulation for what I want to say, so I hope you can understand what I mean. I have no one to talk with about my worries neither none of my friends beeing afraid I could hurt someones emotions when I speek bad about my body knowing or wondering if she is struggeling more with her body than me.

I breastfed both children for 10 months. I stopped brestfeeding my son 5 months ago. My breast has already got a little better since then. I hope and pray that it will regain volume in one or two years. I need to admitt that I’m jealous of most women here, they all sem to have more breast than me.

in Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions
19 comments… add one
  • Bird Monday, March 3, 2014, 11:03 am

    I am your same age and have two children (slightly older – my youngest is 3.5) and my breasts and yours could almost be twins. For a long time I was really self-conscious about the small size of my breasts, feeling unwomanly, and as though they did not fit the rest of my body – pretty much everything you said in your post.

    I just want to encourage you that you DO still look womanly and attractive. It took me a few years to see it, but I’ve grown comfortable with the size of my breasts and in the knowledge that they are still attractive and sensual. Breasts come in so many sizes and shapes and yours and mine are definitely smack dab in the middle of “normal,” whatever that is. If you are able to see yourself objectively (and that’s SO hard, I know!), I’m sure you will be able to grow into acceptance of and comfort with yourself too.

    Besides which, simply, you really are so lovely!

  • Kim Monday, March 3, 2014, 12:06 pm

    You look gorgeous! Your breasts might not be ginormous knockers, but I’ll bet you that you might grow to like them 30+ years from now when they still look pretty much the same :-) Learn to love them mama! I think they’re very womanly and awesome!!!

  • Adrian Thursday, March 6, 2014, 10:29 pm

    Please don’t be so hard on yourself – countless ladies would love your slim figure and lack of stretch marks. I appreciate that you miss the previous look of your breasts but I’m baffled that you call them “saggy” because there’s absolutely no evidence of sagging!

    If I can offer a male perspective, it’s a common misconception that because men like breasts, we want them to be big, but that’s not generally the case. The world would be less interesting if all breasts were the same size. I’d find it unthinkable to view a woman with small breasts as less womanly. Your husband clearly loves you the way you are and I hope you can come to see yourself through his eyes. It must sadden him to hear the word “hate” in relation to your body.

  • Emily Friday, March 14, 2014, 4:42 pm

    I could be looking at photos of me! Breastfeeding reduced my C-cups to a small B/A cup but I couldn’t be happier. I think you look fantastic! Smaller breasts are so much easier to deal with. I have a chuckle with my husband often about ‘where have they gone?’ but ultimately he still loves them and I don’t feel less sexy for it. Please know that small boobs are fantastic too!

  • Nicole Saturday, March 15, 2014, 1:19 pm

    I had a very similar experience with my breasts after pregnancy and breastfeeding, so I can relate to your worries and insecurity. It can be difficult to adjust to changes in our body and accept a new shape.

    I think you look very fit and beautiful. Even though your breasts may be smaller than they were before, they do not seem out of proportion with the rest of your body.

  • Jessica Monday, March 17, 2014, 5:48 pm

    Though I do not have the same problem as you, since I have always had larger breasts and after getting pregnant and breastfeeding for 15 months mine only seemed to get bigger, you are beautiful. I find myself often wishing mine were not so large but am grateful that my husband loves me just the way I am. As does yours. If you could only see yourself as the rest of us do you would realize you are being too hard on yourself and you are still very womanly. :)

  • Sarah Wednesday, March 19, 2014, 5:19 pm

    I gotta say though, I personally think your body is beautiful! your bum is amazing!

  • Lindsey Saturday, March 22, 2014, 7:49 pm

    You look beautiful!

  • Skye Sunday, March 23, 2014, 9:13 am

    Don’t compare!! It will only hurt you and your opinion of both yourself and your opinions of others. But, let me say, compared to you, we are very similar :) my breasts got smaller after each pregnancy. It’s a tough one. It must be genetics as it happened to my mom and sisters too. Each baby dropped us about a 1/2 cup size. My mom ended up a AA by the time she’d had five kids. I stopped at three and have kept my A/B cup, but was a C/D in high school. I don’t think it has anything to do with breastfeeding – it’s just the pregnancy. My mom never breast fed and I did. You are a pear shape (so do I and my sisters) which is a blessing in that it keeps our upper bodies shapely and fills out our butts nice and plumply — but, it also robs weight from our tops down, beginning with boob fat storage. Any time I lose weight, I lose boobs first :( Trust me, your guy still loves it :) He’s told you that though :) My guy does too. Society tricks us into believing all men want the exact same thing – what the media says is beautiful, which is generally huge breasts and small hips. I LOVE my pear shape, as I can fit into almost anything and rock lower cut tops and still feel womanly with my larger hips yet maintain a smaller waist. Since your guy loves them nude, don’t be worried about anything!! And, if you want a little enhancement, get yourself a great bra!! Look at the “boob job bra” – it’s a little pricey, but worth it :) I love a good Victoria’s Secret padded push up too (try the Body by Victoria line). But, go braless every now and again, even out of the house, and ROCK IT – another blessing of a smaller upper body that can never be enjoyed by a larger chested lady.

  • Kylie Monday, March 24, 2014, 5:57 pm

    What everyone is saying is true you are still beautiful (and your butt is HOT!). I thought I might put in my story as a bit of a different perspective – I had I same problem after 2 kids I lost all my breast tissue, I was pretty much flat. I felt the same, like I was unwomanly and not sexy anymore. I got surgery and had implants put in. It was the best decision for me and I have not once regretted it. It is now 8 years since I got my new boobs and I still love them! I know surgery is not for everyone but for me I was fixing something that wasn’t me (naturally I had very nice B cups). The implants feel more like what my body should be.

  • Zulema Wednesday, April 9, 2014, 9:32 pm

    Girl your husband probably is a butt guy…with a booty like yours I’m sure your boobs are fine the way they are! Be thankful you can stilllll wear a bikini! I will trade anything for NO Stretch Marks

  • Joanna Wednesday, April 23, 2014, 5:01 am

    looking good, lovely pert and firm boobs!

  • Jo Wednesday, April 23, 2014, 1:14 pm

    I have to say I can’t see a single flaw in your body! You don’t even look like you’ve had kids! I would love to be your shape. I get really depressed about my large breasts cos I can’t wear a bra anymore, too painful, can’t even sit for long as I’ve always had such bad posture and now have arthritis, and really hate the sag/ bounce without a bra. You can wear anything you want, don’t need to be self-conscious at the beach and won’t have had to deal with the sexual harassment men used to think larger girls were inviting by dressing in anything other than a sack. Enjoy the freedom and comfort of smaller, more beautiful breasts. X

  • Kat Tuesday, May 6, 2014, 9:14 pm

    Omgg loooove your butt! How do you have no blemishes? What’s your secret?! I wish my butt looked like yours!

  • Fire Tuesday, May 13, 2014, 6:51 pm

    I think you look beautiful and feminine! I understand why you feel this way, because it is different than you looked before. However, you really are still beautiful, and I hope you will realize it one day.

  • amie Wednesday, June 25, 2014, 12:18 pm

    I would pay to have the breasts you have. You couldnt even stick a pencil underneath them; totally SAGLESS and Im jealous! I could hide a family of mice under mine.
    Youre beautiful, be grateful for the tatas your blessed with. Ive literally considered cutting mine off.

  • Amanda H Sunday, July 13, 2014, 2:34 pm

    you look almost the way i did befor becoming pregnant !but your butt is amazing!! I have a very small booty and when i sit for long periods of time it hurts . enjoy having cushion to sit on with your fabulous toned perfect booty ! your still feminine and pretty !! ps what your secret to that toned tummy ?

  • Willow Friday, July 18, 2014, 9:54 am

    I agree, you look like how I did before! :) Only your belly is AMAZING! So is your butt… is that weird to say that? Haha. I’d never think you had any babies let alone two. It gives me hope for my next one.

    Now I have literally no breasts. But you know.. I don’t really care. I’ve always been small and used to be teased for it but now I’ve heard a lot of guys say they don’t mind. Unfortunately I was only able to breastfeed for 3 weeks but they still dropped and deflated. Almost 2 years later, no change. But I’ve found other ways of feeling sexy and feminine like nice bras. :D If only they weren’t so expensive.

  • Paula Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:21 pm

    a) We small breasted women won’t ever have to worry about nipples at the level of our belly buttons. And your breasts have the loveliest round shape.
    b) Your sculpted stomach would make most women envious.
    c) Your rear end looks so perfect that it could be sculpted of marble!
    d) Your solution is simple: buy nice bras, but don’t spend too much money on them, because people will be too busy staring at your rear end and your stomach to notice your breasts!

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