Pregnant

5 Weeks PP, Almost There – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Complications During or After Birth, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

Ahhh where can I begin? Its been 16 weeks since I welcomed my beautiful baby boy into the world. I feel very happy about the place I’m at. So far since my last update I lost more weight and I’m back into my pre pregnancy jeans once again. My tummy is completely flat and I’m starting to get my abs defination back. My breast went down so I’m back to pre pregnancy. I still feel empty at times like I failed my baby. In the first update I forgot to mention that my son was born at 28 weeks weighing two pounds two ounces. I was hurt and very embrassed. I feel sad and angry that women who are heavy pregnant complain about the marks and the weight. I would have been happy to have a mommy tummy atleast I would have known that I wouldn’t have failed my baby. I pray everyday and ask god to show mercy on my son and he has. I never realize how stupid and selfish I was by not enjoying every minute that my son was inside of me. I didn’t have a tradition babyshower with a big belly I didn’t have a happy birth where I left the hospital with my son in my hands I had to see my baby have blood transfusions and Iv lines all through his arms and feet. I had to wait six weeks just to hold my son for the first time. I had to get a phone call from my sons doctor saying that my son has stop breathing and they had to bag him. Its so many things that I didn’t do or get to do that I’m most hurt about. I didn’t get a chance to even see my son when he was born or even get to touch him. Im still very emotional about the whole ordeal and I’m in tears as I write this. I had to wait three months just to finally bring my baby home a week before his due date. Premature babies go through so much but my son is healthy and happy. He has no brain bleeds IVH which is so s common with babies born his age he’s not on any medications or on any breathing machines which is very common with babies born at his age. I proud to see he’s such a greedy fat baby and love his milk he poops a lot and is perfect in everyway. So far he has no lasting effects of being born prematurely which I’m so very thankful for. The doctors don’t know why I had PROM (pre mature rapture of the membranes) but with my next child I will be seen by a high risk doctor and I’m very hopeful that I won’t have another preemie. My sons birth gave me a complete understanding of what love is and how to have compassion for other people. This ordeal brought me and my sons father even more closer as a family and we now live together and talking about marriage. He tells me I’m sexy and cause me his little sexy girl :) Life couldn’t be any better I’m working and going to school to become a nurse. I want to show another family the same compassion that my sons nurses should us. I want to work in the NICU with preemies. I’m learning to love my body at times I hate it and get so angry when people say oh u don’t even look like u had a baby. What I would give. This update is for all of the moms who hate there post baby bodies be so thankful that your body grew your babies and protected them because mines didn’t. Sometimes I wish I would be on the other end of the stick and complain about my post baby body. I didn’t get to breastfeed only pump but after six weeks my milked dried up so now my son is formula fed I’m hurting with another thing my body failed. I will have another baby and I will enjoy every moment of pregnancy. My pregnancy body was so beautiful I was nice and ripe sometimes I still touch my belly wishing I still could be pregnant. I included my pictures. The first picture is of my belly a week before I had my son. The next picture is of how my breast look now and the third picture is of my tummy now and the fourth picture is me now and the last picture is of my beautiful baby boy :) who I love so very much. When I get down I just think of all of the mommies who will never leave the hospital with their babies and i feel grateful that I have a healthy and happy beautiful baby who I kiss all day everyday.

Finally In Love with My Body (Corinne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 15 Comments

33 years old
2 previous pregnancies, 2 children aged 12 and 15 months
Currently 25 weeks pregnant

I got married at 20 and had my first baby 10 months after we married. I went from a UK size 10 to about a 16 during my first pregnancy and got what I thought were the most hideous stretch marks. I did get a lot of stretch marks, right across my belly and my stomach never went back to its previous size. My husband’s sex drive had never been high but after going through the birth with me it was non-existent. Our marriage lasted about a year or so more and then I ended things and moved out to live alone with our son. My already fragile confidence after experiencing a difficult teenage years was even more battered.

When my son was 2 I returned to university to study Environmental Sciences. It was the best decision I made, my son went to the university nursery and I worked hard. I loved studying and loved my degree. My confidence grew generally but the whole time I still felt I hated my body, I went down to about a size 12 but felt like a young woman who’d missed out on being able to wear skimpy clothes and bikinis. I hid my stretch marks and flabby stomach from the world. I never felt I had a pretty face, my large breasts and long legs got lots of attention and mainly I would feel like a piece of meat to men in the street. I would try and hide them when I was out, I hated the attention.

While in my 3rd year I met the man who was to become my second husband. He seemed to be a confident, good looking and loving man. He loved my hour glass figure and seemed unfazed by my stretch marked stomach, I discovered that having big breasts and hips could be a sexy thing, but I still had my dreaded stomach to hide, I regretted not loving my body more before getting pregnant. In time I learnt he had his own issues about his self image, he’d had a serious accident which had left him scarred and with a badly broken nose. At times he would have a complete melt down about himself, so we ended up 2 fragile people together and in the end the relationship failed.

Shortly after our relationship broke down I had a brief fling with a friend and fell pregnant with my second child. I was terrified; I already hated my body and was scared what another pregnancy would do to it. I was alone and thought that I was going to be on my own forever. At this point an angel friend came to my rescue and paid for a long course of counselling for me, I got on incredibly well with the counselling, worked hard, confronted some issues, learnt how to trust and I can honestly say it completely changed my life.

During this time and while I was 4 months pregnant, I met a man on a week-long residential course with work. I was much more wary of becoming involved but in the end I followed my heart and we continued to see each other and moved in together much faster than I would have thought sensible. Luckily this turned out to be the best decision I made, he was there for the 20 week scan and the birth of my second son. He is an amazing father to him and we are now happily expecting our own baby together, though for both of us it feels like our second baby together. Both my son’s see their natural fathers but both get to share the experience of having this amazing man in our lives.

The biggest difference is my own self-esteem. My partner clearly completely fancies and adores me. He is loving and supportive and we share the same ideals, hopes and dreams from life. He sees my belly, both when pregnant and after as a beautiful miracle thing which has produced beautiful children. This attitude couldn’t help but rub off on me, I am finally feeling proud of my body and the wonderful work it’s done and is continuing to do. A few days ago I asked him to take some photos of me and the bump, stretch marks and all. I felt brave, liberated and beautiful. I am so proud of these photos it seemed fortuitous to then discover this website, so I’ve decided to share them with you, this is my biggest step yet in accepting my body, especially as I’ve decided to show you my face too.

Updated here and here.

Progress, Not Perfection (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 17 Comments

First of all, I would just like to say that I love this website, and I have visited it nearly everyday since I found it. It is truly amazing the giant gap between the body images we are fed in the media and the REALITY of what healthy women really look like. But of course, being aware of the problem and overcoming the problem are two very different things, and the latter takes an immense amount of work to accomplish. I think I am getting there, but I know I have a long way to go. Some days are better than others. So, here is my story…

I became pregnant with my first child three months shy of my 20th birthday. I was in a horrible relationship, but didn’t realize it yet. My pregnancy was complicated by preeclampsia, due to stress, and depression. The father of the baby, whom I was living with, was (is still) an alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t know about the drugs then, but I did know that he rarely came home at night. I stayed up worrying many nights. When he did come back, he would often threaten to leave me, occasionally packing all of his stuff in the car. He screamed a lot, and called me names. I was in a constant state of anxiety, and I felt like I was going crazy. He didn’t want to touch me all through the pregnancy. One night, he brought home this girl- a mutual “friend” of ours- and had sex with her in our bed while I was home.

My daughter was born in March. Her father was there, physically, but not mentally or emotionally. I spent the first month after my baby was born with a family member, and then we moved back to where her father was from. The abuse got worse, and turned physical. I honestly can’t remember him holding his daughter at all. Ever. I mean, I’m sure it happened a few times, but for the most part I was a single mom (with financial support). I breastfed my daughter for over a year. After a few months though, she only wanted to nurse on one side. I know it is pretty common for something like that to happen, but in my situation, it was unbearable. I was teased by her father and even his mother for my “lopsidedness”. I won’t drag you all through the next two years, but eventually I got sick of it all and got smart. Just after my daughter’s second birthday, I moved back home, got a job and moved on with my life.

Fast forward four years. I’m happily married and have a son now too. Sometimes I sit back and wonder how I got from 2007 to today. Luck? It seems so very far away, and yet it really wasn’t all that long ago. I still suffer from depression and now I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and get panic attacks. I birthed my son at a birth center without any pain medication. He was a robust nine pounds even. I felt fantastic (okay, maybe not fantastic)- but pretty damn good after the delivery. It was so much better than having an epidural, even though my labor was hard. My husband is a freaking angel. He is the most supportive, loving, amazing person I have ever met. He has put up with my “crazies” for the last three years like a champ.

Last year I had a breast augmentation to try to fix my uneven breasts. I am really happy with the result- although I do have days that I wish I could have been happy the way I was. I think my doctor did an amazing job, and I think they look and feel very natural. My husband was perfectly happy with me before, but he was very supportive of my decision too.

I had lost a lot of the weight I gained with my son, but I’ve recently gained some of it back. I’m not sure if it my diet, or the fact that I stopped hormonal birth control. We aren’t trying for another baby, and use condoms, but I just wanted to see what my cycle (and emotional state) would be like off of birth control. I had been on some form or another for almost ten years. I’m really unhappy about my weight right now. I was (a tiny) 120 before my daughter’s birth, gained 65 pounds during that pregnancy, and got down to 130 pounds about two years postpartum. The second time around, I think I gained about 40 pounds, got down to 135 and now I’m about 141 or so. I can’t fit into any of my old pants- even the things I was wearing 1 year postpartum, and it is really frustrating. I’m doing an ab class three times a week, but not much else. My diet is pretty sucky right now too. I am thinking about going vegetarian again- that’s what I did last year to get down to 135. I have an old scar on my belly- it’s not from a cesarean, but very similar to one like that- so I have that kind of skin/fat overhang thing there too, which I hate!

There is a lot more to my story of course… I’m just working on being able to talk about and share it all. Thank you for reading this. If there is one thing I’d wish for, it would be for everyone to be a little bit kinder to themselves and each other. Everyone has a story- some of them are like mine. Some stories are worse, and some are better. But everyone carries something around with them.

The first five photos are of me today, and the last one is when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with #2.

Age: 25
Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 & 2, 2 years postpartum

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous submission here.

My age: 31
Number of Pregnancies: 2
Children: 21 months and 1 month
4 weeks post partum

I was surprised to find myself covered in stretch marks at the end of my eighth month of pregnancy. My previous submission shows an almost blemish free belly. Yet I am not upset about them, just as I am not upset about any of the scars on my body, they have all come with a story. If anything these are the scars I am most proud of, because they were the hardest to earn. What does upset me is the weight gain and the mommy apron. I know I am responsible for both of these things and in a way that is what makes them even more upsetting. How did I allow my body to get this out of hand?

I read posts from other moms who are in better shape post pregnancy than they were pre pregnancy, sometimes with in a few short months and I think, ” How can I be such a failure?”

I am proud of my two healthy boys and would not give them up for anything, but being a Mommy has definitely taken it’s toll.

I am hoping this post will help me to find the strength to get through the weight loss, and trials of mommyhood that lie ahead.

First four photos: 4 weeks post partum
Last two photos: 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant, day of scheduled c-section

Pregnancy and postpartum with twin girls (Shelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 8 Comments

Age: 35
6 pregnancies that included 5 live births, including full term twins.
Would be 15.5 yrs old (Passed away sadly), 14 year old, 5 year old, and ten month old twin girls.
10 months postpartum
In the pregnancy pic I’m almost 33 wks with twins. (I grew MUCH MORE by 37 wks. when I delivered.)
I am 9 weeks postpartum in the after-preggo pictures. Thanks to my belly binding! I owe it all to that!
Me with my twins at 7 weks old.

All vaginal births. I have no battle scars to share, but I would have worn them with pride, because my children are SO worth anything. I believe a woman should love herself as she is, but I don’t blame those, like myself who rub creams to prevent stretchmarks and use binders to close diastasis and flatten mummy tummies.

The human body is beautiful. ALL shapes, sizes, and colors! I decided to put a nude pic up because I think the pregnant woman’s body is a beautiful thing, but I did cut my head off, lol.

I Hope to Someday Love My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

~Age: 16.
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months.

Like most teen girls, I obsessed over the way my body looked. My stomach was never flat enough, and my boobs never seemed to be the shape of those in the movies and magazines. It was always a though in my head. If I had my time back I really would have appreciated my body type because I know now that there was absolutely nothing to worry about.

I got pregnant when I was pretty young, just 15. Fortunately I am blessed with an extremely supportive family who are behind me 100% in everything that I do. When I found out that I was pregnant I was confused beyond belief about what to do. Many questions ran through my mind, none of them having anything to do with the toll a pregnancy would have on my body. I decided to keep my baby, and I never looked back. My pregnancy was a fairly comfortable one, I had none of the symptoms I researched online and I was still fairly small. A few stretch marks made their way across my belly but it was not anything I couldn’t handle. By nine months I was still fitting into some of my pre-pregnancy shirts so I thought I would bounce back fine. I defiantly thought wrong. My angel came out weighing 9 lb 7 oz, and if you had seen me the day before labour you would have not believed she could of came out of me, she was so big and beautiful. My stomach immediately went flat and I went home in a pair of skinny jeans. I thought that I would be back to my 117 pounds in no time. Again, thought wrong. No matter what I do I just can seem to lose this extra jiggle. And it’s everywhere! I’m only 16 and when my friends come over to see the baby and me, I can’t help but look and be envious of their bodies. My baby girl was defiantly worth it but it still makes me sad. I know I’m only 4 months pp and there is still plenty of time for me to regain my shape but sometimes when I look in the mirror I just feel overwhelmed. I wish I would of loved my body before the pregnancy. And I wish even more that I could love my body AFTER the pregnancy! I’m sure someday I’ll learn to love myself, but I just hope that the day will hurry up. This site is such an inspiration. The stories of these women are truly amazing, and you all look beautiful!

First photo is 8 months pregnant
Second is 4 months pp

Skinny, fat and somewhere in between! (Bex)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 20 Comments

I have always struggled with weight, going from Anorexia to Bulimia or having both at the same time. Since I can remember I have hated my body, it has completely consumed my life and thoughts, it’s always been the wrong shape, too fat, my legs too bulky and muscly, my arms too flabby and fat, my tummy not tight enough, not enough bones showing etc… 2009 I married my gorgeous husband and didn’t want to be fat so I went from being a healthy 127 pounds (58kgs) to being 100 pounds (46kgs) on our wedding day. I have always so badly wanted a family and so we started trying to conceive right after our wedding in Oct 09 and we fell pregnant in april 2010. I gained 17 pounds (8kgs) in the first 12 weeks and was devestated, I gained a total of 37 pounds (17kgs), I couldn’t fit anything and went into maternity clothes at like 12 weeks because normal clothes hurt and didn’t fit right. For the first time in my life, I had cellulite… As much as I wanted the baby and was excited about the future, I hated my body everyday but I chose to eat normally because the baby was more important than my own need to be skinny. I didn’t want to harm her in anyway just because I needed to be skinny….

My pregnancy went on without issues until near the end around 34 weeks when the midwife thought bubs was too small so I had to go get growth scans every 2 weeks, but she was just a little baby, still growing! At 40 weeks, I had a tiny 34-35 week looking belly (thank god) but to me my arse was huge and my thighs were like big fat tree trunks. I couldn’t understand why my husband still said I was gorgeous because all I could see was this huge whale. I was torn between loving just my baby bump and what it meant and hating the rest of my body for being so fat and gross… especially my face! I avoided photos because I hated looking at them after…

My darling girl was born on 03/01/2011 at 6lb 8oz (2.95kgs, no wonder I had a little belly) through a natural, drug free waterbirth! Right away I started thinking about losing the baby weight… But I have an issue with my stupid left hip where I can’t walk properly and it really hurts! So I haven’t been able to exercsise which is killing me!!! I have lost half of the baby weight I gained so far, so hoping once my hip heals I will be able to start exercising and get the rest of this baby off!! I want to continue breastfeeding so am going to really monitor myself and make sure I eat enough to maintain my milk supply which is going to be so hard and take a lot of work on my part. I just don’t want to fall back into my eating disorder because I DO NOT want to pass it on to my perfect and precious little girl! She is the most important thing to me and my husband and deserves the best in life… not a mum who is consumed by her weight. I don’t want her to ever feel like I do, so now is the time to start changing. To start loving my body and appreciating myself.

I have just given birth, something that is amazing and empowering… My body is a representation of that, of what I have done in giving birth. that is to be celebrated, not punished! It’s a long road ahead for me… but my girl is worth enough for me to take it head on…

1st photo: Me at around 49kgs in 2009 (lost another 3kgs in the 2 weeks following this photo)
2nd photo: 40 weeks pg
3rd photo: my belly 3 weeks postpartum

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy and 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: postpartum 3 weeks

8 Months Post C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I LOVE this website,, and all you wonderful mothers out there! This is my third submission. I had my first child May 2010 via unplanned C section. A wonderful, beautiful, healthy little girl! She brings so much joy to all that she comes into contact with,, ready with a huge grin for everyone! She makes me smile on my worst day,, and overflow with happiness with each kiss and hug. I have to say that I am so proud of the lovely woman who created this place of support and refuge. And I think that we all deserve to be supported, encouraged and welcomed. I tried keeping up a little diary/photo album of post pregnancy progress on my Facebook,, but got soooo much flak and discouragement that I stopped. Please NO ONE take this wrong,, but it seems that if you actually feel good about yourself and have been working hard on being healthy and getting strong and in shape,, that that is to not be recognized. Only judged with harsh words. Thats why I am so thankful for you all on here! I am working on becoming a certified health and fitness trainer and now teach classes at a Studio. I feel like I could be an encouragement to a lot of women. I am going on 32 and had my first child by c section less than a year ago, and am back to pre pregnancy weight and feel so energized and strong and blessed.I just want those out there who may be feeling down,, hopeless and who are probably being way too hard on themselves,, to know,, that even if it takes different ways or lengths of time, that you CAN feel like, and be a healthy, fit, strong, sexy MOTHER! We are all shaped differently and have different beautiful traits (and wonderful “flaws”) that make us unique. I just feel like sometimes some women have this stigma in their head that they aren’t supposed to want to feel vibrant and sexy after they become a mom, and that is so not true! I want to encourage you all to take pride and joy in what your bodies have accomplished in motherhood and to realize its your ONLY body, to love it , nourish it, strengthen it and when the time and place are right ,, flaunt it a little!! :) Have fun with motherhood and with being a woman! GOD Bless you all!

Photos are :
1.36 weeks
2. Seeing my gal for the first time
3. the day before I went into labor,, gettin a kiss from hubby
4. My babies first Thanksgiving!
5. 6 months post partum
6. Hubby, lil brother, me and baby girl on Christmas!

The Name’s Ashley (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

im 21 years old
5 months post partum with my first child

when I found out I was pregnant I was so extremely happy. being only 21 I was really nervous at first but I had a lot of positive people around me, and my boyfriend is one of them. he was definitely more ready than I was, on august 10th I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. weighing 8lbs. 4 oz, and 19 1/2 inches long, I ended up having a c-section cuz my pelvis was too small. at the beginning of my pregnancy I used bio oil regularly thinking it would stop me from getting stretch marks, obviously it didn’t. I have the worst wrinkled, saggy, stretched out skin. I try to stay positive becuz I got something so beautiful out of it, but I cant seem to constantly look in the mirror, and get upset. I cant help but think my boyfriend will leave me for someone with a better shape, I used to be so confident weighing 130 before I got pregnant I loved my body and my stomach, and I didn’t mind showing it off, now I hate getting dressed in front of anyone, I gained 56 pounds during pregnancy lost all of it except 10 pounds, I constantly do crunches 170 a day for about 3 months now, and have not seen a difference. I know a lot of people who have had babies, and none of them have a stomach like mine. so I was hoping to gets some advice from other mothers. will I ever get rid of this??? if anyone has any advice please let me know,

Trying to Accept My Body (MJ)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 3 Comments

hello my name is MJ i am 23 years old have a beautiful daughter who is 4 and a handsome son who is 2 and i am currently 25 weeks pg with baby #3!! i have looked at this site on and off for over a year and it has helped my self asteem and my marriage so much so i would like to say thank you to all of you who post your stories and your pics of your HOT bods!! ive decided to post my own pics cuz i am comfortable with my body now its not perfect (it never will be) but its growing a baby inside of it and thats pretty freakin cool…. i am doing really well this pg with walking and not eating everything in site lol!! i am 5′ 8″ and weighed 193 at the start of my pg and today i way 202 (25 weeks in) i deliverd my daughter at 206 and my son at 198 so this will be the heaviest ill ever be at the end of this pg i would like to get down to 155-165 after baby is born. My weight and stretch M’s use to bother me so much but my hubby is awesome and tells me i am beautiful and he doesnt care bout my S/M’s he loves me for me the women he married and the mother of his kids!! so i couldnt really ask for a sweeter man! i hope my pics can help another person realize they are beautiful and deserving of nothing less than a wonderful self asteem and self worth!!