Postpartum

The Nonexistant Dating and Sex Life of a Single Mom (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 31 Comments

Age: 23
Pregnancies: 1
Births:1
My Daughters Age: 3

I had my daughter at the age of 19 a month away from my 20th so I guess I should say I had her as a “Teen”

Her dad and my relationship was a rocky one but I stuck it out because I didn’t want my daughter growing up without her dad, we where together for about 4yrs. I endured a lot of verbal abuse Until…I found out almost a year ago today her dad had a secret relationship throughout ours with his sisters best friend which was also a friend of mines. They now live together in our old home while am back cramped sleeping on the floor at my mothers.

He is very much a part of his daughter’s life & a loving dad. We get along here and there but its mostly just 4 the baby. There’s not an actual friendship. He has told me numerous of times “he wishes I would die so he can have custody of his daughter and live a happy family with his girlfriend”

What I endured with him seems to have soaked in my brain and friends say I am carrying that pain although am not with him anymore. When we will get into arguments the first things he would say where how “Nasty my saggy breast, cellulite legs, acne face & stretch marked stomach where”. He would also say “no one will ever want me” to the point I couldn’t even look in a mirror and think i looked pretty.

Our sex life pretty much sucked i always thought it was him because he never cared to please me it was just bend over or give me “H**d” but all the while it was because he was getting it elsewhere and thought how nasty my body was.

I haven’t as much as dated ONE person in the past year not because I don’t want to because no one seems to be interested in me after I had my daughter. I go out with friends constantly but no one seems to hit on me the times i have tried to step out of my comfort zone & approach someone I am shutdown or never called back even if they don’t know I am a mother (being that women with kids sometimes scare a man off)

Before I had my daughter i would be scared to walk the streets alone because I would constantly be harassed and told how beautiful I was. NOW I don’t get as much as a head turn.

As much as i want to start dating again it hits me one day or another we will have to sleep together and although my daughters dads constant rants of how nasty my body is plays a part in how i feel I can’t help to agree I HAVE A MIRROR i see all that he pointed out.

I am so lonely and just have shut myself out from life. I am only 23 and shouldn’t have to feel this way.
I don’t regret my daughter and the body I have after her, i just wish i can take back the person i had her with because one thing I noticed from a lot of the posts where how many of you have supporting husbands to tell them how beautiful they where.

I just want to be comfortable in my own skin one day

When I look at some girls that complain about their bodies I can understand where they come from but is still not as bad as me, like ok yeah your boobs are saggy but you can wear shorts! Yeah you have cellulite but you can wear a tube top without a bra or yeah you have a little stretch marks but at least you’re inner thighs are not filled with dark parks and constant boils. I can’t do any of these

As much as I wish i can go back to my old days my 3 year old is WORTH EVERY BIT OF IT. It’s just very lonely when its 8pm and she’s a sleep on a Saturday night. In the mist of my ranting she has awoken and I even forgot what I was going on about! & that’s why she makes it worthwhile.

(In the pictures I posted b4 baby and after baby. The grey marks are from holistic treatment strips I removed b4 picture for weight loss which have not worked )

I hope someone out there can relate to my post as well as my body

Final Update (Jeanne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

My daughter is now 18 months and I never thought I would feel the way I do about my body as I do now. I love my body now more than before I had a child. I love the way my hips have widened…I just feel more feminine and like I have a right to have these curves. I don’t even mind my fading stretch marks :) I have lost 37 lbs since January. I am now 137 and 5’9″ and just very happy with everything in my life including my body finally!

Hoping for a Miracle (Michelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Age: 25
Pregnancies: 5 (3 miscarriages, 1 a set of twins) Births: 1
Age of children: almost three, 6 weeks pregnant

Growing up I was never sure if I wanted children. I was not sure if I had the patience. I met my husband my freshman year of college. We dated for about 7 months and we found out we were pregnant. We were shocked. My first appointment I was told I was only about 4 weeks along – all we saw was a yolk sac. At my next appointment (4 weeks later) There was a fetal pole, it was measuring 6 weeks, but I was told not to be concerned by the discrepancy. Fast forward three weeks and I started cramping and spotting. A trip to the emergency room later I was told I was miscarrying. They gave me pain medicine, sent me home, and scheduled a D&C. The next day I was back in the emergency room. They hospitalized me while I passed “the embryonic tissues.” Two months later me and my husband married. Three months flew by and we decided to start trying to get pregnant. My first appointment was fine, they tested by hcg levels over 4 days and they were increasing as they should… 2 weeks later, another miscarriage. We decided that we were going to wait to try to get pregnant again. One night, one thing led to another and we did not use any protection. Thank god. Because 9 months later our beautiful baby girl was born. I had an interesting pregnancy. I have type 1 diabetes (juvenile onset, insulin dependent), had extra amniotic fluid through much of my pregnancy (which I would like to think contributed to the 70 lbs I gained – lol), and went into premature labor twice (due to the abnormally small size of my uterus and the stress from the extra amniotic fluid). I ended up having a “non-emergency emergency c-section” (yes you are reading that right – that is how the doctor referred to it) after our daughters heart rate dropped multiples time during my induction. Our daughter was in the special care nursery for 4 hours before they would let me see her (her oxygen levels were low due to a hold in her heart). Four days later (after my daughter was treated for jaundice) we were released from the hospital. The hole in her heart healed on its own and she is thriving. She is now a rowdy 3 year old red head (she has the temper to match). Recently me and my husband decided we should try for another baby. Five months ago We found out I was pregnant. We were ecstatic. Two weeks later, I miscarried – a set of twins. Heartbreak. Two weeks ago, I found out I am pregnant. Evidently I don’t have a problem getting pregnant – just staying pregnant. I am now 6.5 weeks pregnant. I had an ultrasound two days ago and we saw a heartbeat. I am scared as hell, but already in love with this tiny baby inside of me. Here’s hoping for another miracle!

picture 1: me 32 weeks pregnant with my daughter
picture 2: our beautiful baby girl
picture 3-5: me today, almost 3 years postpartum and 6.5 weeks pregnant.

Updated here.

Finding a Body that I Love (Quila)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I was very excited when I ran into this website while surfing the web at work! I’m having a very bad experience with my post baby body. I’m 21 years of age, a full-time student, and I work a full-time job(life). I was never a “skinny girl”, but I have also never been at the point where I am now. To be honest my biggest issue is my stomach. I describe it to others as having extra skin from pregnancy. Having a stomach like this has ruined my life. Normally I am a very self confident girl, but now I can honestly say that in my opinion things have truly changed for the worst. My stomach hangs down, almost touching my vagina. Is this normal, or is there something wrong with me? Should I see a doctor about this? If so what type of doctor? I’m 18 months pp, just so that we are on the same page. I have never really been the “active” type. The last time that I have ever exercised was in the 9th grade (7years ago). I understand that now is the time to gradually start. My goal weight is 140 pounds. My pre-pregnancy weight was about 190 pounds, post pregnancy I was 253. My current weight is somewhere in the 230’s. My question is… What do I need to do in order to get rid of this saggy stomach. I don’t want a “six pack”, which I don’t mind having, but I also don’t want this extra stomach! It is humiliating. My extra large shorts don’t fit, my pants fold down under the stomach. Things have gotten to a point where I not only look pregnant, but I also look sloppy! This is a very sensitive, and depressing topic for me, as I like a lot of other moms am not used to the sudden body change. HELP!! I love my daughter to death, and I would not trade her for the best body, or for all of the money in the world. I just hope that it is not to late for me. I cannot afford tummy tucks, and Liposuctions. I’m not going to focus this post on how sorry I feel for myself, and how miserable I am, because I’m not completely sure that I really feel that way at all. I guess that I just needed a place to come for help. I hate the love handles, the fat face, and the bloated feeling I get after eating. I went from clothing size 11-12 to a 16/18-20. What is my body going through? I feel upset with myself, because it’s kind of like I had no progress at all with this, and after 18 months I still find myself “unhappy” with who I am! Of course my husband calls me beautiful, but it doesn’t help if I really do not feel the same way about myself. I want change for me, I want to be able to run, and wear bikini’s again! Life is hard enough being the sole provider of the family, but it really sucks when you’re unhappy with yourself! I did not have a C- section, I had a vaginal birth. I’ve never had the saggy, or bloated stomach before. Most of my weight was in my hips, and thighs (Toned). What should I do guys?

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy/ 1 vaginal birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 18 month old Daughter

Post C-Section Belly at 7 Months (Shaunna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 6 Comments

I am a 25 year old woman, who had her first baby delivered back in March via c-section. After 12 hours in labor and a dropping fetal heart rate, the doctors decided c-section was the way to go.

Since the c-section, I have had the hardest time trying to get my stomach back to where it was. Aside from the uncomfortable bulging and bloating around the site, my once smooth stomach is now also stretched, purple and flabby. By all appearances, I have lost the baby weight. I run 2 miles a day, and incorporate weights 3 times a week. However, I am still breastfeeding my son, and my stomach as you can plainly see, still looks like a post pregnancy belly.

While at first my self esteem plummeted, I have to admit, the new look has grown on me. It’s not what I am used to, but I have such an extraordinary son. He just lights up my whole life. My husband swears to me he still thinks I am beautiful. I tear up when I think of what an amazing vessel my body is, to have nourished, grown and birthed our amazing child.

SO, that being said… I wish I could hug all the moms that look in the mirror and aren’t always thrilled. However, sites like this are so awesome due to the acceptance that is promoted. I really don’t think I could stand it if I heard of one more woman who stopped eating because she didn’t like her body. I wish there were more being done to promote healthy, happy women and less self consciousness.

Being a Super Mom (Bree K)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 9 Comments

Pregnancies: 6
Births: 3
Children: Twins 3 & a baby 2 months

I know there are many women on here. You come from all walks of life. However there are two things we have in common… we are unhappy or saddened by our bodies and we love our children.
Being a mother at a young age (20) I gave birth to twins a boy and girl (Johnathan & Allison.) After trying for so long to have a baby god blessed us with two. Now going on 4 yrs. this Christmas they have been my life. After having the twins I was very insecure with my body and didn’t’ find myself attractive… sound familiar ladies? So what I did was have my hubby take pictures of me, to see what I look like threw his eyes. It worked. I felt amazing after I saw the pictures and I realized that I wasn’t suppose to be ashamed of my body, but embrace it. It was after all what I prayed to god for. He gave me what I dreamed of. I know that it’s difficult to look in the mirror and think to yourself, “Wow I have a kick ass body.” Let’s face it ladies, there are very few of us who can do that.

After just having my second son, (Zach) on Aug. 2-10, I have been working my butt off to lose weight. I only gained 10 pounds with him and I gained 8 with the twins. After I had my twins I thought to myself that I missed my smooth skin, the non Freddy Couger look that I carry around my stomach now. But I was so thankful to have them, it no longer mattered. That is until my clothes were off. Here I am three kids later and I know that my tummy will always look like a nightmare. However there are things we can do about the looks. For many of us we cannot afford tummy tucks or breast lifts…. but here are a few helpful hints to get that new mama body back into shape. For those of us who are blessed with the breastfeeding boobies, I have found that push ups work wonders for giving our girls a lift. The tummy, well that’s a little harder. I’m still working on that one myself, but I have found that running, biking and a combo of other exercises do help decrease the flabbiness of the tummy and underarms, (batwings.)

Our children are what drives us to be better, what not let our husbands, boyfriends be the reason to get back into shape? That is what is driving me. I want to look better and feel sexy in my own skin. It’s time we got used to our new bodies and embrace them. I’m a bigger lady and I wear my skin with pride… on most days… think of stretch marks as battle scares of motherhood. The belly bulge as a reminder that you carried a human being for months and you brought him/her/them into this world healthy. You did that. Be proud mama, you deserve a little happiness. Next time you go into a public place, take a look around you. Look at the women. Today’s world is changing. There are many of us out there who are feeling the same way, but if you look closely you can see that we are the real women… not the women the public wants us to be. We are mothers and as such, we should embrace it. Be proud to be a mama and our bodies that our little ones gave us. I truly hope this post helps some of you, that this gives you ambition, hope and inspiration. I’m attaching some pictures of pre-pregnancy and post par tum along with my three children.

Unsatisfied (Renee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 8 Comments

#1 pregnancy
3 months Postpartum

First of I am glued to this site. I love this site.

I am so happy to have a baby boy. He is the cutest baby ever.

I got pregnant when I was 23 and Had my baby when I was 24 on July 4, 2010.

He was a healthy baby of 9lb 7 OZ. I had him vaginally and he ripped me pretty bad(4th degree tear) needless to say my body will never be the same. I had a hard time recovering i couldn’t even sit on my butt for a month. Finally I can be more active and i actually have to start work on sat in hopes to loose all my weight. I am 5’11 and was about 135LBS when i got pregnant very slim. When I gave birth I was 192LBS (Gained 52Lbs) coming out of the hospital I was down 30LBS. I am at my 3 months Postpartum and I cant seem to loose any weight. I am walking daily, eating smaller portions, and working out (minimally). Can anyone tell me good news? My sister was very lucky she is a toothpick she had her baby and after 5 months was back to her skinny self. What can i do to be back to myself? What can i DO?

1rst-5 Pic is me at 3 months postpartum
6-8 Pic is me Pre-pregnancy
9-10 Pic is my handsome baby boy!

Updated here.

Melissa’s Story (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 8 Comments

Hi fellow mommies. I recently was looking on the internet and came across this wonderful site. I kinda felt like I was the only woman in the world that had two babies and had a body like mine. My belly seems to sag and I just cant seem to cope with that. My husband is so fit and I feel so unfit. I eat very healthy and exercise daily. Ive recently started the workout program Insanity. Ive lost 12 pounds. I still have 3 weeks to go. Its a 60 day program. So I guess thats not bad. My youngest is 6 months and my other daughter is 2 and a half. With both of them i went up to 190. Im down to 157 right now but I just dont feel sexy any more. Im 24 years old and feel so unhappy with my body. Do any of you ladies have any advice on how to tone up the belly? All photos are from Sept.26th 2010

Melissa
24
Two pregnancies, Two births
6 months PP on second pregnancy

4 Weeks PP (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Pregnancies and births: 1
1 month old son Gabriel

Hello SOAM. This is my first entry. My name is Heather and I am 4 weeks pp.

All in all I had a very smooth ride with my pregnancy and labor and delivery. I was in early labor for 3 days.The night before I had my son I went to the hospital because I was SURE I was in labor. They basically told me I was nuts and sent me packin lol. Well after a horrible night of powerful back contractions I went to my OB appt the next morning, only to be told I actually WAS in labor and I was 5cm dialated. I knew it lol. From the time I was admitted to birth was 5hrs. I pushed for 10 minutes and my son was born.

I have never had a perfect body. I was never super thin and I have always had issues with my weight and stretch marks due to growing quickly when I was younger. But I never expected this. My husband tells me I am beautiful everyday, but how can he find this beautiful? If I don’t think it is how can he? I suppose I might be being a little dramatic but I am very unhappy with my body now.I am not trying to be unrealistic and I know in time it will get better, after all I am only a month pp. I just hope it does. I am currently 12lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight, which is something that made me smile today :). I just hope it all gets better. At least I gained a wonderful son out of this ;)

Getting Back the Old Me (Victoria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

I was terrified of what could happen to my body when I was pregnant. I was put on bedrest at 27 weeks and was not kind to my body gaining 50 pounds. I have finally lost most of my pregnancy weight now at almost 2 years postpartum and am so thankful that I have relatively bounced back. I worked hard to get back into shape and hope to inspire others that a little hard work can go a long way!

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy and birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Almost 2

My pictures:
A shot of my belly minutes before my cesarean
I was so glad to see my belly deflate at 2 weeks postpartum
a closeup of how my belly looks now after several months of hard work
from the side