Postpartum

Hating My Body Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 24 Comments

Previous post here.

So its been almost 2 years and I STILL hate my body. Especially my breasts. I know your body is supposed to change after kids, I get that your tummy gets loose and you breasts droop a little. What I did NOT expect was my breasts to have crater size stretch marks, especially since my body didn’t change one bit after my first child. As a woman its incredibly depressing to have your most womanly feature destroyed. I know it bothers my husband, hes always been a boob guy and mine were perfect even after our first child so I’m sure he didnt expect them to look like they do now. They are so saggy and one nipple points down, the other straight ahead. Does anyone else have a boob issue since having kids? I cant be the only one…

What I want is honesty. No really. I want everyone to tell me if I should consider surgery to try and fix these things or maybe they don’t look as bad as I think they do (fat chance of that, no pun intended).

Update – Mother of 3 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update, Vulva 23 Comments

Previous post here.

Thank u all for your beautiful words of support been working my huge ass off and lost sum weight but the more i lose the small my boobs get and im concerned that with 3 kids coming out of me my vagina doesnt look as it should i cant help but think about it in the bedroom :( let me know what u think love u all

A more intimate picture can be found here.

Unapologetic (Darah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Poetry, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

I love me with the sags.
I love me with the stretch marks.
I love me with dark circles.
I love me with frizzy hair.
I love me with pale skin.
I love me with stretch marks.
I love me with love handles.
I love me with back rolls.
I love me when I’m menstruating.
I love me when I’m lactating.
I love me with body hair.
I love me when my hands are dirty.
I love me with belly fat.
I love that my body can give life.
I love that I can sustain life.
I love me when I eat.
I love me when I’m sick.
I love me for me.

Who I am goes deeper than my skin.

I’m confident.
I’m artistic.
I’m intelligent.
I’m creative.
I’m imaginative.
I’m logical.
I’m kind.
I’m articulate.
I’m ambitious.
I’m empowering.
I’m soulful.
I’m funny.
I’m daring.
I’m charming.
I’m thoughtful.
I’m generous.

And I’m unapologetic for who I am..

~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 3 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: ten – placed for adoption, three and 5 months.

My body before, during, and after. (Lindsie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 and wore a size 12-14 in jeans. My whole pregnancy was easy no morning sickness, no stretch marks. Nothing. Until the last month then my stretch marks came.I had my little boy all 8lbs 2oz and 22 1/2 in of him naturally. The day after I had him I thought to myself I look great! This getting back to pre pregnancy size will be easy! As the months went on I realized its not that easy. I gained almost 80lbs while I was pregnant. So far I’ve lost about 40lbs of it. I look at myself in the mirror and no I don’t look perfect, no I don’t particularly like my stretchmarks and my baby belly. But then I look at my beautiful little boy and its all worth it. Every mark, every pound, every change in my body, everything. My son is now 6 months old, I wear a size 16 jeans, and no I don’t look perfect but I am an awesome mom and thats all that matters :) The first picture is at 34 weeks pregnant, the second is my little boy and the last few are my body 6 months after giving birth.

Emotional C-Section Scars (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

1 Pregnancy:1 Child

My story begins nearly 5 years ago as my daughter will be 4 in august. I got pregnant when I was only 18. Although my now husband and I were only together about 6 months (together in person only about 1.5 months since he was in bootcamp). Long story short we have made an initial friendship blossom into a great marriage which of course takes work but I feel so fortunate to have beat all the odds that society places on young people and relationships. Fast foward I went into labor on a friday night thinking it was only braxton hicks. After 2 trips to the hospital I was sent home both times since I wasn’t dilated enough to be admitted (they wanted me 2.5 cm before admitted). On sunday morning around 2am we went back where we were finally told I could be admitted. At this point I had endured the pain for nearly 2 days and requested an epidural as well as they started pitocin since I wasn’t dilating that fast. During those wee hours of the morning I was checked on and off. First the baby’s heart rate was high so they broke my water in an effort to bring it down. After a couple hours of rechecking her heart rate began to drop and I had set up fever and they believed I was beginning to set up an infection. Around 7:15am I was told at that point there needed to be decisions made since I was still only about 5-6cm dilated. What choice did I have to help my baby? She was delivered at 7:53am by emergency c-section. My memory those first 2 days in the hospital are fuzzy because of the pain medication I was on which is something I feel very deprived of. Fast forward another 3 and a half years later and numerous talks with my doctor I am still left feeling like a complete failure. Nearly all of my friends had relatively easy labors considering the time frame and only one had a csection although she is not only diabetic but smoked through her pregnancy and had preclampsia. There were no indicators that this would happen to me. I am a very prepared person and was completely blindsided by having a c-section. My scarring on the outside is minimal and my selfesteem is the best since before I got pregnant but I still have feelings left that my body somehow has something wrong with it because it was incapable of doing something that women are designed to do. Now anytime a family member or friend has a baby I get feelings of resentment that I had to have a c-section and nearly no one that I know hasn’t. I wouldn’t wish a csection on anyone that’s not at all what I wish at all I just don’t know how to come to terms with these negative feelings……I am also left terrified of having another child as I absolutely do not want another c-section again.

Below is a picture of me 37 weeks pregnant and summer 2012 after losing nearly all my baby weight (finally! :D).

A Happy Ending! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

Age:24
Pregnancies: 1
Births:1
1 year postpartum

My little girl just turned one a week ago. She is so beautiful, funny and smart. I can’t believe she is mine!

When I first got pregnant I had come to terms with the fact that my body would be ruined, based on family history. I would have a saggy belly, stretch marks, deflated breasts but I knew it would all be worth it.

During my pregnancy, my daughters father and I decided it wasn’t going to work out. That is when my fears returned. I gained 60 pounds while pregnant. I thought nobody would ever be attracted to me again. I was completely devastated about the whole situation. Once I had my little girl I really had no time to feel sorry for myself. She was extremely colic for the first 6 months and would only sleep cradled next to me while walking. So I walked and walked and walked….

A year later, my stretch marks have faded, I weigh 20 pounds less than before I got pregnant, I got my license, bought a van, I’ve met someone new and starting my dream job in 1 week. It’s amazing how things can change in a year. I’m so proud of myself and thank my lucky stars everyday.

A Child Having a Child (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

A child having a child

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies:1
Age of child:4

When I was a little girl,I used to love playing with my baby dolls. I would plan out my life by playing house everyday with my dolls. Perfect house,perfect job, and a perfect family. All I wanted was a perfect life like I would see on t.v. While I grew into my early teens I met the love of my life. Every min I spent with him I knew he was that one that I wanted to spend the perfect life I had always dreamt of. I used to lay in bed and just think how bad I wanted to start my family right away. As silly as it sounds I would think on how to ask my mom if I could of a baby. I always wanted to tell her it would be the only Christmas and birthday present I wanted.

At the age of 15 I found out that I failed the 9th grade for the second time. Not because I wasn’t smart but because I would skip to much school. I was in the process of dropping out.. Until I learned I was pregnant.

I got pregnant at age 16. I was scared. I didn’t know anything about having a baby. I was just a baby myself. I took that right path and stayed in school for my daughter. Since I achieved a lot in school I was allowed to graduate 1 year earlier then when I was suppose to. I continued my education in becoming a medical assistant. It was a rocky road to get where I am today but I made it. I now have the perfect job that I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart and now have our perfect family. There’s just one thing that I’m missing… My self confidence.

I had to grow up fast and make sacrifices for my new family. I couldn’t go out to the pools with my friends like I used to or go shopping because of the weight I gained. I cry every time I think about how skinny I used to be. Even tho my husband tells me how he loves for who I am and how I look but I don’t feel like myself hiding in this fat suit. Everyday I would love to just pull my zipper down and take off my suit but I can’t. I now live in this body forever.

I try to diet, I try to work out, and I try to make healthier choices but I give up to fast. i just sit back and say to myself” yeah right who are trying to fool you cant do this just give up already.”The girl in the mirror stands and laughs at me and tell me there is no hope. I wanna beat this girl and tell her shes wrong but it’s too late she already won.

Update to my Post (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Previous post here.

The last time I updated my story I was single and 13 months postpartum with my 3rd child, I had also just started to accept my body. Well a year and a half later things have changed drastically; about three months after my update was posted I reconciled with my childrens father and about two months later I ended up pregnant with our 4th child. Throughout my whole pregnancy I was miserable and feared the weight gain, I just wanted to gain the minimal weight possible and be able to lose the weight quickly after the baby came. Of course every pregnancy is different but I so badly wanted this pregnancy to be like my last one where I had only gained 13lbs but I ended up gaining double that (Yes a healthy 26lbs). During my pregnancy however my weight did yo-yo from month to month, at my first appointment at 9wks I was weighing 175, the next month it was up to 177, and the next it was back down to 175, I didn’t start gaining consistantly a pound a month until I was into my 5th month of pregnancy and I gained the most in my last two months. My 4th and last daughter was born on March 7th, 2013 weighing 7lbs 4oz and 20in long by repeat c-section; at our first check up 5 days later my weight was already back down to 183, so I had about 6-8lbs to lose to be at the weight I was at my first appointment and about 18lbs to go if I was to be at the weight I was just a few months before getting pregnant. at just 2wks post-partum I was fitting back in to a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes but I still have a long way to go before I’m as comfortable with my body as I was getting to be before, and once I’m in the clear to do so I plan on doing regular exercise and working my butt off to get down to where I want to be. The first few days of being post-partum I was a little disappointed in the way I looked but I know it takes time and with hard work and determination I can change my body as I had started to before this pregnancy.

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 5 pregnancies/ 4 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 1/2 yrs, 5yrs, 2 1/2yrs, 18days old; 18days postpartum
The pictures below are: 1st: Me about 3months before getting pregnant(what I would like to get down to in the next couple of months), 2nd: Me and my kids father the month I got pregnant, 3rd: My last pregnancy picture at 39wks 4days, 4th and 5th pictures: Me at 18days postpartum, and the 6th: My c-section scar:

Upset With My Postpartum Body 10 Months In (Sara)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 19 Comments

I had my first child 10 months ago at the age of 21. Before I had him I just started getting into the best shape of my life (the healthy way) I started off at 165 and had gotten down to 158 and 1 week after getting down to 158 I found out I was pregnant. I always disliked my body and hated the way I looked naked but since having my child I really hate the way I look. I look at myself naked and cant stand to see myself. Everything and anything I put myself in I feel makes me look gross and all my flaws (except the stretch marks) are exposed. My boyfriend of 7 years always tells me how beautiful I look and how great I’m doing with my exercise ( 8 months postpartum I was 168 and now 10 months postpartum I weigh 156) but each and everytime he tells me he thinks I’m beautiful I just can’t help but think he’s lying to me and just saying things to make me happy. Not only do I feel he is not sincere(when he is) I feel like he thinks every other girl is prettier than me and wishes I looked like them (especially the victoria secret models) and it may just be me comparing myself to woman who have had babies ( celebs) 5 months ago and already look like they have never had a kid or even to the girls my age who are “perfect” but I really can’t stand to see my body. Having my wonderful, beautiful son has made me hate myself. I know looks aren’t everything but right now all I care about is my looks and looking great naked or even… in clothes. I hate the little “lip” under my stomach( ive always had it but since having my son it’s gotten worse) basically I hate almost EVERYTHING on my body. And I have no idea how my boyfriend would want anything to do with my body.
These are all postpartum pictures of the body parts I hate the most and just a pictures of my lil man at 4 months old :)

Seeing the Beauty in My Body (Joanna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Your Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I got pregnant when I was 21 years old. Not a teen mother, but still young enough to get the occasional stare. My pregnancy was perfect as far as the doctors said, however, psychologically I was a wreck. I have never been a skinny girl, but I was never “overweight” either. But I was absolutely terrified of gaining weight. Every single pound I gained felt like a dagger. I dreaded hopping up on the scale at my weekly OBGYN appointments. I even ended up counting calories, and refused to eat anything besides salad, toast, and the occasional bowl of cereal. I still managed to gain 45 pounds. I came across this site when I googled “pregnant and depressed about weight gain”, and to be honest, it terrified me even more. Seeing what women look like post-partum just made me feel worse. For some reason, I felt like my body defined who I was. I ended up getting my first stretch marks around 28 weeks. Again, I was stressing and obsessing over my appearance. I felt horrible. I refused to look in a mirror and would even tell my boyfriend to “shut up” when he tried to call me beautiful.

I gave birth to my daughter at 39 weeks and 3 days on December 18th, 2012. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and absolutely beautiful. However, I didn’t get the immediate bond that I constantly heard mothers talk about. I was shell-shocked. I went from being a 21 year old girl to a mother in hours. I couldn’t take it all in. I remember spending my first night in the hospital crying because I was terrified of this little human being that I was now responsible for. I didn’t change a single diaper during my stay at the hospital, didn’t give her a bath, didn’t cuddle with her. I would simply breastfeed her and hand her to visitors or her father. My brain wasn’t able to process what was happening. The day we came home from the hospital I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I was in pure survival-mode (for myself AND my daughter), and I ended up losing 25 pounds in 2 weeks because I was so depressed and STILL in shock that I would literally forget to eat. I was slowly slipping into postpartum depression. Add hormones and sleep deprivation to the mix and I was a wreck. I cried every chance I got. I felt as if my life was over. My stomach was saggy and loose and covered with stretch marks. I felt disgusting

It wasn’t until my daughter was about 2 months old that I began to feel better. She became more interactive, she started smiling when she saw me, and I fell in love. My body was slowly turning back to normal. I remember hearing women say that once your baby’s born you won’t care about the stretch marks as much. I understand what they meant now. These marks represent everything I went through and my own personal battles. They represent the love I have for my daughter. They represent everything a mother is about. Sacrificing (in this case, your body and beauty) for your children. Looking back at my pregnancy, I really wish I enjoyed it more. I now realize there are few things more beautiful than a pregnant woman and a mother. You are carrying and growing a LIFE inside of you. What can possibly be more beautiful than that?

I have a new-found respect for mothers. All mothers. Single, married, young, and old. You are absolutely amazing. You are beautiful in my eyes. If you’re worried about your stretch marks, just remember what they stand for. If you are worried they will make you less attractive to your significant other, don’t be. If he/she truly loves you, they will see the beauty in them. If you’re pregnant right now and feeling ugly, fat, or unattractive, just remember that you’re doing something amazing. You have life inside of you.

I just want to end this by saying that whether you’re pregnant or you’re in the postpartum stage, embrace your body and appreciate it for bringing life into this world. You are beautiful. We are all beautiful.

The first photo is me before I got pregnant.
Second and third are me at 38 weeks pregnant.
Forth, fifth and sixth are me 3 months postpartum.
The last four are of my daughter