Plus-Sized Mom

Pouch Tummy and Tons of Stretch Marks (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Pregnancies: 1 Births 1
PP: 6 months

So I stumbled across this website by chance looking up different support groups for weight loss and cesarean sections. I have been reading the stories and have found them so compelling and inspiring that I thought I might share mine. I did not really realize how blessed I am to have my boyfriend (though we are living separately right now) in my life and completely supportive.

I was an average 22 year old when I found out I was pregnant. I was 5’6 about 175, not fantastic but not super overweight either. t. I lost my job late December, and was struggling to find another one. When I found out I was pregnant, and thought that I should inform my possible employers of such when they asked certain questions like “is there anything that will impede you coming to work for over a year” I let them know. Needless to say I was unemployed for the majority of the year. Now everything went along swimmingly during my pregnancy. I did not really gain much weight in the beginning, I was a bit moody here and there but it was fine. After about 5-6 months pregnant I found out I was having a little girl, and we were more than thrilled.

At 36 weeks Scarlett had gained over a 1lb and a primary C was scheduled. At 39 weeks I gave birth to a very healthy 10lb 6 oz girl 21 3/4 inches long on October 14 2010. This was when things started going down hill. I had a hard recovery from the C, and I had a lot of extra weight on me. I started off at 175 I walked in to the hospital at 230, Scarlett had stretched me to the gills. Which is fairly evident in the pictures I have below.

I lost 30 lbs fairly quickly and have been sitting at an even 200-205 for the last three months. I have alot of issues with the way my body looks, and it has gone to the point where it had taken a toll on my relationship. Between me being unhappy with my looks, an infant, my 4 year old step son, part time work and a full load at school, and my boyfriend returning to work full time, I stressed myself out to the point where he moved out, not because of him, but because of me.

I am almost 6 months postpartum, and school has finally calmed down enough to where I have decided to begin working out more vigorously. I have come to terms that I will never have the figure I had prior to pregnancy, never have a nice tone tummy (I’ve always had extra skin and been squishy. Now I’m like uber squishy lol :) ), but I have come to realize that I need to be happy with myself in the short term, or atleast okay, in order to be strong for my daughter, and myself.

I am amazed at how strong and loving my boyfriend is, he tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me everyday, even though he knew the body prior to pregnancy.

I am proud to say I may have a saggy tummy, even tiger striped and ugly, but I have a gorgeous 6 month old, and a loving family.

1st picture: 6 months pregnant
2nd Picture: Side view of pouchy-ness
3rd Picture: Attempt at picture of C- scar
4th Picture: Frontal view of pouchy-ness

Updated here.

Miracles Happen (SCS)

Bonnie (SOAM) Back, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous post here.

age 30
number of pregnancies 4 and births 2
age of children 3 ½ and 5 weeks how far pp 5 weeks

First I wanna apologize for the long post, I wanted to say a lot. As everyone says, I love this site. I think I’ve read every entry on it. I posted in 2009 after my first miscarriage. My body has changed since then. In March of 2011 I suffered another miscarriage. It hurt a lot but I finally decided I was very happy with only have one child and I didn’t really want to have anymore. I did however want to know why I was having miscarriages. In June I finally had my appointment and I was very disappointed with the “Doctor” who seen me. My appointment was on a Wednesday and I told the doctor I was a week late for my period. I know my body ever since I started keeping track of my periods I’ve always been 28 days at 10am. Yep I was that predictable. Well, after the miscarriages I was 26 days. So when I told the doctor she blew me off by saying I haven’t had my period because I gained so much weight. I weighed 250lbs when I seen her, I had been stuck at that weight for almost 2 years by then. Well, at least she did do some blood tests only she didn’t test for me to be pregnant. On Friday I got a call saying I had a slow thyroid and that is why I was extremely tired and I gained so much weight and couldn’t lose anything regardless of how much I cute back and ate healthy or exercised. So I went to get the prescription but decided since it was almost the end of the day I would start them on Saturday. Well, Saturday morning I decided to take a pregnancy test, just to see what it said and I was sure surprised. I walked right out of the bathroom and showed my boyfriend. This I wish I would’ve waited because with all my pregnancies I had a really cute way to tell him. He didn’t show any kind of reaction I think mostly due to the worry I would lose this one too. So I called the hospital up to make sure it was ok to still take the medicine and they said yes to keep taking it. That Monday I called my family doctor to make an appointment so they can confirm it and I made an appointment with the obgyn. At the two appointments I was so scared they would tell me sorry but you aren’t pregnant so I cried every time they confirmed it.

every doctors visit from then on, I cried when I heard the babys heartbeat. My first born went to all my doc appoints and was even there to see the ultrasounds. So when I started my pregnancy I was 250lbs, I went down some then didn’t gain any until my 5 month. In total I only gained 8lbs by the time I had the baby. I weighted 258lbs when I went in for the scheduled csection on feb 23, 2011. The csection went well, other than me being extremely sick after due to the meds they had to give me to calm me down after they took the baby out since I couldnt breathe, I had a terrible cold and was breathing through my mouth through the whole operation since my nose was stuffed up and it went dry. I couldnt breathe or even have any spit in my mouth to wet my throat.

at my 2 week appointment when I stepped on the scale I weighted 231lbs. I was so excited to see I had lost so much. I have since got down to 224lbs which is what I am in the pictures below. The pregnancy picture I was probably about 258lbs since it was so close to when I had the baby. I am happy to say I am content with my body. I do want to lose some weight only due to the fact that I cant afford any new clothes and all my other clothes are only a size or two smaller. Im currently in size 18 and some of my nice clothes are size 16 or 14. So that isnt too far to go. However, I guess im content with my body because I’ve been hit with ppd. I cry all the time especially is I don’t get enough sleep, I don’t feel close to my newborn and really don’t want to hold him at all. Plus we are dealing with trying to survive on my boyfriend only having a part time job, but God will get us through this as He always has.

The last thing I want to say is that as I’ve read the different entries on this site it saddens me to see that most of the people who complain about the way they look, I see them and wonder WTH, you look great. And I noticed that a majority of the people who accept themselves are like me larger women. Either way everyone has their own issues thanks to all the media and the pressure to be skinny. Children are a blessing that a lot of woman will never be able to have. They would trade their great body for the chance to carry a baby. Just know regardless of your body, you were blessed and trusted with the greatest gift of all—a beautiful baby.

6 Months Postpartum and Still Healing (Jillyn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Homebirth, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Update 14 Comments

I am posting my postpartum pictures here of my body after my second pregnancy. My previous post is here.

This pregnancy came a bit unexpected for my husband and I. After the birth and death of our first daughter we planned to wait a year before TTC again. But just 6 months postpartum we found out i was expecting again. By 6 months PP i hadn’t lost any of my pregnancy weight and I actually gained a bit. I believe i started my second pregnancy at around 215lbs (i am 5’5″). The pregnancy was an emotional time for me because i was still trying to deal with the emotions and grief of loosing our first daughter. We tried to keep things as peaceful as we were able. We had a midwife for the pregnancy and planned a homebirth.

I delivered our second daughter at 41 weeks and 2 days. Everything went wonderful and we have a very happy and healthy 6 month old (she was 7lbs and 20″ long at birth). I’ve still been struggling with my emotions this postpartum and i’m trying not to slip into depression but sometimes it’s hard, especially with a very high needs baby (most would say she had Colic). But there are many good times and she is such a blessing in our life. Our “rainbow” baby :)

The day i went into labor i weighed 250lbs and a couple weeks postpartum i believe i was around 230lbs. I’ve struggled with accepting my new body but i don’t 100% hate it. I hate how much my belly and hips droop with extra skin, but other than that i’m not too upset. I actually like my stretch marks and i think they are pretty cool (i thought they were cool before as well). One thing that i thought was neat was when i was pregnant with our first daughter i got stretch marks and they started to heal and were more white. Then when i started to stretch more at the end of this pregnancy you could see where my old stretch marks ended (from first DD) and my new ones began. The day i took these postpartum pictures (6 months) i weighed myself and i was 213lbs (and at 6.5 months PP i’m 208lbs!).

The pictures i posted are from 6 months postpartum. I tried to take pictures of all the changes. I included pictures of my worst stretch marks, ones inside my thighs. I have one on each side and they actually split so bad that sometimes they bled and i wasn’t able to walk properly. Even now one of them still splits sometimes (as you can see in the photo). Of course they were much bigger during the pregnancy (about 1/2″ wide and 3-4″ long!). I also took a close up shot of my stretch marks on my belly. And I included a couple pictures from at the end of my pregnancy :)

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 births, both vaginal
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: First DD died after birth, Second DD is 6.5 months. Pictures taken when i was 6 months PP.

My Journey to Motherhood (Carmel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

These photos were taken by my supportive and amazing husband Nathan. The photos are at 34 weeks, 39 weeks and the day of Arthur’s Birth.

I had a wonderful pregnancy. Even though I am a large woman I felt amazing when I was pregnant. The fact I had a life, our little miracle, growing inside me negated any body issue I previously had.

The Tuesday before I was due to give birth (we were due on the Friday) I had the urge to always wee. I went to the hospital for a check up and was told that it was possibly a urinary tract infection. The next day I lost my plug and saw a stand in OB as mine was on holidays. She said that I was 1cm dilated and not infection was present. She thought I would most probably give birth on Saturday. That night at 4am my waters broke and the realization that those Braxton hicks were actual contractions. My husband was fantastic packing the car and calling the hospital whilst I had one last relaxing shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed. Once there we were informed that I was 4 cm dilated. Things progressed quickly however because my son has so much hair the midwifes, doctors and OB could not get the monitor on his head nor could they feel which way he was facing. At 10am I was fully dilated and started to push. I pushed for over an hour without Arthur descending into the canal. The OB and midwifes strongly suggested an emergency c section. At 12.52pm my son was pulled out via c section. An amazing day!

~Age: 24 when I gave birth, now 25
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1,1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Arthur is 7 ½ months, 7 ½ months PP

5 yrs Fibro and Autism (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 13 Comments

age: 27
number of pregnancies/births : 1/1
age of child: 5.5

I am a plus size mom and wanted to represent more of us bigger moms since it is a little lacking. I am 324lbs at 5yrs postpartum. I am comfortable with my body, I deal with the constant pain of fibromyalgia every day and homeschool my 5yr old who has autism.

I was 250lb at 6weeks pp, but once my fibromyalgia started and I needed to start taking anti-depressants I started to pack on the weight. I probably rely on the therapeutic properties of chocolate too much some days, but its better than getting drunk. I have stretch marks everywhere, cellulite, rolls and scars from my gall bladder surgery, but my husband still finds me as sexy as the day I married him. I view my body as a map of my travels as a mother so far, one day I will lose some weight but these marks will always be with me and I am proud of them because inside my stomach I nurtured my child for 9mths. My breasts may sag but they breastfed my child for 2.5yrs.

I am woman, hear me roar!

I Love My Boys, I HATE My Body! (Christina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 21 Comments

Age: 20
# of pregnancies/births/cesareans: 2
Age of children: 2 1/2(born:2008) and 13months(born:2009)
Postpartum: 13months as of 10/10

I got pregnant for the first time at 17, before then i had always worried about my weight and at 5’6″ 147lbs i wasn’t over weight. Now i am 286lbs and i cant stop thinking about it. Not only do i feel bad and unattractive, but i know it is bad for my health.

during my first pregnancy i didn’t really care about my weight gain, i guess i always thought it would be easy to lose later. but after i had my first son i felt (and looked like) and empty vessel. i had gained at least 40lbs during my pregnancy, though I’m not sure how sense i was vomiting the whole pregnancy. i was all stretch marked and i hadn’t really lost any weight after giving birth, which BTW i had a csection. and then i actually gained weight after the birth. so after my csection i had that as an excuse not to exercise, that and ya know being too tired and any other excuse i could think of. then me and my then boyfriend/baby daddy got married. then we decided to have another baby. and at 18 i got pregnant right away(9months after my first). and i had actually been put on pills to get my period back, which I’m sure i didn’t get cause of the weight gain. but after my first period on the pills is when we got pregnant. then yet again i really didn’t worry about how much weight i gained. i monitored it a little more but i still ate what i wanted, when i was not barfing cause yet again i had morning sickness the whole pregnancy. and at the end of my second pregnancy i had gained I’m sure at least 30lbs. and after the birth of my second son i still didn’t lose the weight. and yet again gained more after the baby was born and used the excuse again that i had a c section.

now that I’m pushing 300lbs, I’ve gone from a 38C cup to a 44 DD cup, I’m stretched marked to hell, and have horrible back, knee, and hip pain, it really is alot harder to exercise. i tire a lot easier and the pain gets almost unbearable. on top of all that, I’m really scared of exercising alone. I’ve set up dates to walk with friends and they some how always end up blowing me off. and i know that i need to just get over it and go do it. and even if i do lose the weight i do not think that i will ever be satisfied with my body again(not that i was really before). all i keep thinking is “I’m 20, my body shouldn’t look like this.” i don’t like looking in the mirror or shopping for clothes cause its just depressing, when you used to be able to pick up a size 11 or 12 and it would fit now you’re in a 20 something. my husband hates when i say things like this, about being fat and such. he doesn’t understand cause he has the high metabolism, and so hes skinny. and i know its horrible but I’m so jealous of him. he says I’m beautiful, and i just really wish that i could see it that way. I’ve read about a bunch of women who are embracing their post baby bod, and i just wish that i was that strong. and the crazy thing is while pregnant i feel so much more beautiful, but as soon as the baby is born i don’t.

I love my boys so much, they are everything to me. the only thing i would change is i would exercise and watch what i ate while i was pregnant and after.

yet again we are talking about another baby. i really do want a big family, but i know that i need to be in good health to have a healthy baby. so i want to at least get close to my pre-pregnancy size. i just wish that i knew now how to do that.

Thanks to all of you brave women for posting your stories. :)

1. before pregnancy
2. pregnant with #1
3. PP after 1
4. pregnant with #2
5. PP after 2
6. c section scar after 2
7. 13 months PP after 2
8. 13 months PP after 2
9. my 1 year old
10. my 2 1/2 year old

My Doctor Makes Me Feel Bad (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Pregnant, Submissions 37 Comments

Age: 27
# pregnancies and births: 1/1
34 weeks pregnant

I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first child, a boy. Ive struggled with my weight throughout my entire life except for a brief time in college. Before I got pregnant I was 5’7″ and 200lbs. I had recently had to switch OB/GYN providers because my old OB/GYN PCSed (my husband is in the military so I’m seen at a military facility) to a new area. My past few appointments have been nothing short of horrible with my new provider. I dread going to my appointment because I know that my weight is going to the be the main topic of discussion. Ive put on 32 pounds since I found out I was pregnant, which apparently is too much according to my new provider. According to her I should have only gained 15 pounds. Despite my “excessive weight gain”, my blood pressure is normal, I tested negative for gestational diabetes, and my baby is perfectly healthy and of a normal size. Like I said before, Ive struggled with my weight my entire life. I have old stretch marks from all of the weight I gained as a child. Now that I’m pregnant I have new ones in addition to the older ones. The first time that I saw her I noticed that she looked disapprovingly at my stretch marks, but didnt comment. She didnt have to comment though, the look on her face said everything. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but yet I’m re-living the nightmares of my overweight childhood, adolescent, and teen years. I’m an RN so I know what constitutes healthy and non-healthy foods as well as what it means to be “healthy”. I’ve worked with physcians like her throughout my career who seem to have the bedside manner of roadkill. I know that I shouldnt let the comments and disapproving looks get me so down, however I cant seem to shake them. My husband hasnt been able to come with me to my last few appointments due to military duty requirements so Ive had to endure this “harrassment” on my own. Ive literally been in tears after my last few appointments. I just wish that this physician could see beyond the number on the scale and recognize that I am in fact healthy despite my weight, but I honestly dont think that will happen. I’m looking forward to the day that little man finally gets here and I dont have to endure the negative banter and feelings of worthlessness this physician instills in me at every visit. I have my next appointment in 2 weeks and somehow she expects me to only gain 1 pound in bewteen then and now. HA!

Tied to the Past (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

~Age: 25
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years

I’ve only had one child,only one, she may be the most amazing little girl I’ve ever seen but where did I go?

I gained 40 lb.s with her birth and then kept gaining after that. Her father and I split up when she was a year old and then I became a new to school, freshly back to work, single mom at 21! She’s grown and blossomed and become such a beautiful big girl now. I’ve withered and hated myself sooo much for every year she’s loved herself. The depression and the agony just made the over eating worse. So I got the lap band and did really well for awhile,for awhile.

Then the depression came back in and ate me up inside and I kept eating,stopped exercising.

Excuses,excuses,always, what a weakling I am. I cannot look at my naked body in the mirror without crying. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A 25 YEAR OLD!!

I see older women at work all the time who have paid in the their bodies for their many children and I cry. Why am I at that stage when I am ONLY 25? I have ONLY had one child. I cannot let my boyfriend see me naked with the lights on, I cannot let my daughter see me in the shower. I disgust myself and I’m so tired of hating who I am.

Six Children (Erika)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Four or More Pregnancies, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

I am 43, 5′ 4-1/2″, 200 lbs., size 12, and I’ve had six pregnancies, six births. My first child was born 26 years ago and my last, 6 years ago. The last child really seemed to zonk my thyroid and I’ve had a hard time losing weight since his birth.

I used to feel very self conscious about my breasts but looking at this site helped me to see that breasts come in every shape and size! I would like to slim down a bit, the stretch marks do not bother me much anymore, it’s the cellulite that makes me uncomfortable.