First Pregnancy

1 Year Postpartum With Twins (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

1 year postpartum with twins
anonymous
29 yrs old

I gave birth to twins last July, time really does fly when you have kids!

My little girl weighed in at 6lb2oz and my little boy at 6lbs14oz. I made it to 38 weeks and had a scheduled c-section. I was huge as you can tell from my pic. I am a pretty small person so it was really rough at the end carrying around of the 53 pounds I gained with the pregnancy. I developed HELLP syndrome at the very end, it wasn’t discovered until the morning of the delivery strangely enough.

I am okay with how my body looks most of the time now, although I do miss my old perfect stomach that I will never have back. I was going to buy a one piece swimsuit for the summer but I thought “why should I cover up my wrinkly twin skin? I should be proud and show off the belly that produced my two absolutely perfect, beautiful babies. :)

Although…. if I could get rid of the damn stretchmarks I would in a heartbeat!

PPD vs “Baby Blues” (Crystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

age:22
1st pregnancy
1 child
my daughter’s name is Lily and she is 3 months
i am exactly 3 mo and 3 days post partum

I found this website through just googling other women’s postpartum stories. I really love this website because it makes me feel a little “normal”. Sometimes I feel the issues I’ve been going through are only happening to me. Here is my story…I’m really reaching out for anyone’s advice or if anyone has been through this same thing.

My beautiful daughter Lily was born March 12, 2009. The first 2 weeks after she was born I felt amazing. I would just melt like butter holding her in my arms just looking at her. I was proud to be a mom and I still am to this day. It felt like I had also found a new love for my husband. I’ve always considered him the love of my life and after Lily was born it felt deeper. Like our connection was more intimate. My sex drive was high and I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. I loved my new body without the big pregnant belly. I also enjoyed my workouts at the gym every other day. I was so dedicated to the gym that I would just take my daughter along with me and leave her in the carseat right in front of my treadmill. I didn’t want to miss a workout.

I’m not too sure when it began to happen it seemed like my feelings started to turn for the worse little by little. It sort of came out of nowhere. All of the sudden I started to become a little lazier and making excuses not to go to the gym anymore. I stay at home with Lily and when my husband was at work I would find myself picking fights with him over text messages. The fights would get so extreme I would threaten to leave. When he would get home I honestly wouldn’t really remember just what exactly I was so mad about. I would get so mad to the point where I really just wanted to hit something. This is when I noticed that things were a little off with me. I’ve never been in a physical fight ever. This sort of anger is out of my character. Then my sex drive seemed to almost disappear over night. At first I just thought it would go away all of these strange feelings that I was having. I tried to just say that I wasn’t in the mood to my husband hoping he wouldn’t notice that it had been several days since the last time we made love. Of course that didn’t work and he began to think he was the problem why I wasn’t in the mood. I finally sat down with him and explained all the things I was feeling. I told him how lazy I was feeling, how angry I had been for no reason, how I was not interested in sex at all, and also how much I now hated my body.

I’ve been reading a lot online and talking to friends about this. Some signs pointed toward the “baby blues” diagnosis and some was the postpartum depression. I’m worried because my mother, father, and both sisters are all on anti-depressants. I’m wondering if maybe that made me more likely to have stronger emotions with this postpartum time of my life. I made an appointment for my Dr. to discuss this because my husband and I agree we can’t just let this go on and continue to argue over these things. Has anyone else went through any of this? Is there any kind of advice that helped anyone with the same issues? I just want to know I’m not the only one.

the pictures are of my belly today at 3 mo and 3 days post partum and our daughter Lily at 3 months old

19 & Mommy 41 Weeks Pregnant and in Despair about PP Body (Ana)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 14 Comments

I’m nineteen and african american. I have always been slim built 5’6 140lbs. I never really worked out i just thought i was blessed with good genes…i am*was* the slimest person in my family..i come from a family of big hipped women..but anyway i made it through the first 6 months of my pregnancy without stretch mark and i woke up one morning and found one…then two now i have a belly full of them and all i can think is my body will never be the same..i wont be “sexy” anymore goodbye sexy boyshorts..hello granny panties..it haunts me being i am so young. my mother doesnt seem to understand and my fiance i dont think gets it he loves me just the way i am*so he says* but hes military and only sees me every few months when he’s not deployed…i feel like i will be lettin him down and other women who’s bodies arent disgusting like mine is sure to be shortly from now will intrest him more. I try not to think about it much but i am scheduled for an induction sunday [6/14] and though i look forward to the birth of my son..i dread how my body will look after. i know its vain but i cant help it. here are some pics of me ranging in order from six months until now. the last are pics of what i looked like before

21 Year Old Who Feels Inadequate in Her New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

When I got pregnant, we definitely were not planning it. I had got pregnant several months before our planned wedding date and as a result we pushed the wedding date way up and I was 3 months pregnant on my wedding day. I am still so ashamed that it happened that way. As a result, it was extremely hard, everything in the first year was so rushed, but I am so blessed that my husband endured it all with me and we came out on the other side. We were given a gorgeous baby boy, whom never ceases to amaze me. God has blessed us so much.

Now, that being said and done…I love being a mother, but after giving birth I really fell into a deep hole of depression regarding my body. I felt so disgusting, and unseen. It was like the world kept moving but I didn’t. I was fine the first month or so but then I hit a wall. I thought losing the weight wouldn’t be that difficult. I mean, I’m young, and most people I know my age that were my size were able to lose it fairly quickly…well, I wasn’t so lucky I guess. I had started out weighing 135 (5′ 10″ tall) and by the end of the pregnancy weighed in at a whopping 187 lbs. After I gave birth to my 8lb. 1oz., 20 in. baby boy, I lost about 20 lbs immediately, in the two weeks. I was pretty excited about that, but little did I know in the next 4 months I wouldn’t lose anything more. I even joined a gym and started working out 2 months after he was born, 2 days a week…and I mean pretty hardcore working out. I lost nothing. I got off birth control and lost 5 lbs. Since then I haven’t lost anything. It seems like no matter what I do, I can’t possibly lose another pound. It’s just hard feeling like what you want more than anything is unreachable. So if anyone has any encouragement for plateauing I’d deeply appreciate it. I just feel alone, this is my first child. It should be easier…

So, yeah…I’m working on myself. Trying to accept myself exactly the way I am, but It’s so hard. I don’t believe my husband when he tells me I’m beautiful. I feel like he’s watching all the other women out there who aren’t huge like me. I’ve officially become paranoid, and trust me I know this is unhealthy…so I’m posting on here because this site has been such an inspiration to me…and any kind words would help me realize that I am not as alone as I feel like I am. So does anyone out there identify with how I feel? OH and I must warn you…most of my baby weight went straight to my hips, butt, and legs. That’s where my genetics like them. haha and I also got stretch marks everywhere on my body…especially my belly and breasts. My stomach has a freaken basket weave texture now…and since my breasts went from a 34A to a 36C, I have what looks like sun rays coming out of them. haha

pic 1 …4 days overdue
pic 2-5…4 months postpardum

It’s Not Really So Bad (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Your Age: 29
Number of pregnancies and births: One pregnancy, one birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9 months

Today marks 281 days since my daughter was born. The same amount of time that she spent on the “inside”. I’ve been looking forward to this day, it feel momentous for some reason.

I look over the landscape of my changed body and I’m grateful that I’m not so changed that i don’t recognize myself but also thankful for the signs that my daughter once occupied my space. The day after her birth (by c-section, after 27 hours of hard labor) i saw my deflated belly in the mirror and thought “I have arrived”. My mind went back to all the mothers on this website and i knew that i was going to be
with the majority with my stretchy skin and mother’s “apron” and not one of the few who return to hard, flat bellies within a few weeks.

Silvery stretchmarks line my belly but they’re only visible in certain lights. In the blinding, brilliant sun they fade into the rest of my skin but in harsh overhead lighting they look like craters. But I’ve grown comfortable in the skin i’m in. I’m not saying that I’m about to get in a bikini and head down to the beach, but i also realize that I’m not in competition with 19 year old spring-breakers. I credit this website with the acceptance, and even love that i have for my new form. Before SOAM i hadn’t seen what a “real mother” looked like without her clothes off. My mom, through genes that somehow skipped me, had no stretchmarks and maintained a very svelte figure. So thank you to all of you for having the courage to post your photos and stories and for giving me the courage to love my jiggle and stretchmarks and even my c-section scar enough to do the same.

Photos-
1 – 40 weeks pregnant, I was HUUUUUGGEEE
2 – My 40 week belly, it was not a “pretty pregnant belly”
3 – Today, sucking in makes it look worse
4 – Today, letting it go makes it look smoother
5 – Today, in the right light everything looks pretty good
6 – My daughter, the reason for this post in the first place.

10 Months Update VCC (Angelica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

My age:22
# of pregnancy: 1
months pp: 10

Hi
i already posted pictures of my new figure when i was 2 months and 4 months pp and the title is VCC. I want to share this new pictures with you because this journey isn’t easy, it takes time to adjust and to accept this new “era” of my life, my husband always tells me that i am beautiful and that he loves me no matter what, y am happy with my life God gave the most precious gift, my baby girl.
before i was pregnat i was size 7, i still fit in almost all my pants and i am decided not to buy any other size because i don’t wnat to gain weight i want to loose 5 kilos. I still can buy size 7 but they just don’t fit the way they used to fit me!
So here are my pictures 10 months pp, i see a tiny difference between these and the last pictures
dont you??
Thank you!!!

Amanda

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 19 Comments

hello there. my name is amanda,i’m 23 years old. i thought i would send a quick note to go with the photos! my daughter is now 15 months old, she weighed 10 pds 9 oz ( healthy baby) i gained 70pds with her, i went up to 212 pds. i didnt have 1 strech mark till the last month of my pregnancy! i had a c-section after 27 hours of labour! so now after all the stretch marks, weight gain, and c-section, i now have skin the feels empty ( if that makes any sence) and it droops over top of my cesarian and i have a pooch :( i hate it.. so here’s some photos of before pregnancy, 12 weeks after haing my daughter to right to the date of today! so roughly 15 months after having amilya! i tried sending the pics other ways but my computer has a block on it for some reason! do wut u like with my pictures!

Claire

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Age: 27
First Pregnancy

Before I developed chronic pain I didn’t struggle much with body image issues. I was surrounded by strong friends who were super body-positive. I was also very athletic and that fostered a lot of love and trust between me and my body.

I developed chronic pain 2 1/2 years ago after being hit by a car on my bicycle. Having chronic pain has limited my ability to be athletic to very very gentle movement, and for this and other reasons my body changed a LOT. I lost most of my muscle mass and that wonderful feeling of adrenaline you get when your heart gets going. Even if my body hadn’t changed physically I would have developed body image issues; having chronic pain can cause one to feel that their body has betrayed them. Just being in pain all the time caused me to develop a lot of anger and grief towards my body. Further, I wanted to get pregnant and couldn’t. It took a lot of work and self-care to get off the pain meds and feel strong enough to try.

When I WAS able to get pregnant with my partner I felt like I would never have body image issues again! I felt that if I could make a baby with this body then I would only feel love and gratitude towards it. For the most part, that is what I have felt! But I’ve also learned that it’s just normal to have these ambivalent feelings arise during pregnancy. Most recently, now that I am 37 weeks pregnancy, I’ve developed stretch marks that I’m really struggling with. I have good days and bad days… days I feel acceptance and happiness about the changes in my body and days when I feel ugly and upset and unhappy. It’s awesome to see the diversity of bodies and stories on this website. The more I am able to see images like these and hear these stories the more validated I feel. I see how lovely everyone is and I can turn that feeling on myself.

Thanks for reading my story! These pictures are all of my at present, 37 weeks along.

My Little Angel (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 3 Comments

I was anorexic 5 years before pregnancy. I’ve never been satisfied with my body even when I had only 105 lbs (height 5 6). This pregnancy has totally changed my way of life. I’ve gained about 40 lbs, but my daughter is worth every pound, every stretch mark. Btw. I thought I’m gonna be stretch-mark free, but now I see them lol. I got purple ones on my behind and really pale on my belly. I love my daughter more than anything. Pictures are 1 week post partum

Your age: 20
Number of pregnancies/births:1/1
Age of my daughter:1 week

Perfect at Last! (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

When I was younger I was naturally very thin and I hated my body. Then I gained weight and I hated my body. Then got healthy and I hated my body. Then at 26 I got pregnant and I discovered my body. In July of ’08 almost one year ago I gave natural birth to a 9lb 6oz little boy. I gained around 50lbs and since then have lost it. Now here I am with stretch marks on my bottom wrinkles on my belly, stretched out nipples; older, freckled, cellulite and spider veins everywhere (the photos aren’t picking most of this up) and I LOVE my body. I created life! I will get older and things will sag, things will wrinkle and stretch out even more. I will eventually turn to dust but my creations and what my body has made will live on and create even more life. To some I may be too scrawny, too flat chest or much more but to me I am perfect.

Our bodies really are temples. You only have one chance at this life and I don’t want to waste another moment obsessing about what has been and will always be a perfect body! I am not a model or an actress; I am not a doctor or a CEO; I am a mother and nothing can top that! After years of being self conscience about my entire being I have learned the hard way that being confidant in yourself and your flaws is what makes you feel and look beautiful.

-Pic #1 is 4 weeks pregnant
-Pic #2 is 40 weeks pregnant
-Pic #3 is 10 days postpartum
-Pic #4 & #5 is 9 months postpartum