First Pregnancy

My Body Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I met my now husband in 6th grade, and we’ve been “on and off” since. We have been together with no break ups for 5 years now, married for two of those years. I know my husband loves me and is attracted to me but I NEVER feel good enough. He had cheated on me once while we were still in high school and I feel it still haunts me. I always feel like something was my fault. Now that we have our beautiful daughter, my husband and I are closer than ever, but I still feel so insecure. I have stretch marks and slightly loose skin and I am in no way a skinny girl. I have cried several times over this, and think that I may have some sort of postpartum depression that only deals with my own body image. I just want to share my pictures in case young women like myself feel like they are the only mom their age who have changed bodies after pregnancy. I know that is how I’ve felt since I know tons of moms my age that look exactly the same if not better than before. I want to be able to feel sexy again someday, but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen. Everyday I struggle with my body image, and I wish I didn’t. I know I don’t have the WORST body, but this is no where near MY best body.

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1/1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

3 months pp from cesarean, do I have diastatis recti? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

~Age: 36
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

I had elective cesarean section 3 months ago because my baby boy was breech. The cesarean wasn’t a great experience as I lost a lot of blood (2 litres) and was put on iron tablets that me horrendous constipation and tummy ache. I also suffered for weeks with trapped wind and gas. Infact I’m still more gassy now than I ever used to be.

My baby boy was a gorgeous healthy 7lbs15oz.

Before pregnancy I had a very flat stomach and good BMI. I wasn’t really toned but I walked my dog for an hour a day and felt healthy (I have included a photo of my tummy when I was 5 weeks pregnant). During pregnancy I put on about 3 stone (40lbs) but luckily didn’t get any stretch marks. Post partum my stomach started going down very quickly initially and I don’t have a ceseran overhang around the scar. But what has upset me is I still look pregnant – people are asking if I am expecting again as I have a round bump all at the front. It feels firm-ish and doesn’t sag (see photos).

I do still have a stone to lose to be back at pre pregnancy weight but that’s more around hips/bum. My belly feels like it has a small layer of fat covering it, but is firm and comes out. Is this diastatis recti? Or normal after a caesarean and do I just have to be patient and it will take a year to go down?
rom my iPhone

5 weeks pregnant

I Want to Be Me Again (Desiree)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

my name is desiree im 22 a mother of one amazing boy who is 14 months before baby I was 125 pounds which is curvy for my height a tiny 5 ft tall at full term I was 172 a year later im still bouncing between 140 and 145. my husband is the kindest most understanding person he “loves” my new mommy curves and I was “too skinny before ” but I feel disgusting I wear 2 girdles sometimes just to hide my bloated belly which is partially due to ulcerative colitis that was triggered by pregnancy I wish I could fix it but no amount of working out did anything to help and surgery is too drastic and expensive im thankful for my awesome son and and amazing hubby but I want to feel sexy again I loved my body before I just want to go back to that. my close friend has 4 kids and is a size 2 with barely a mark on her so I kinda expected the same with myself this site showed me everyone is different and im not alone in the struggle to be comfortable in my own skin again after baby thank you for that ?

Talk me out of plastic surgery. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 24 Comments

Age- 25
Number of Children-1, aged 3

I have a son that I love more than life itself. I always had body issues, despite being petite. I fluctuated between 100-110 lbs all through out high school. I was very self conscious of my boobs. The right one was (and still is) smaller than the left side. My nipples looked “puffy” unless I was cold. But they were a 34C and looked good in cute tops and had mass, if you know what I mean.

I was hopeful when I got pregnant that maybe both boobs would finally look the same and that maybe my nipples would be more erect. I guess I was hoping that having a baby would “fix” them. After breast feeding for six months, I quickly learned that having a baby wasn’t going to make them look any better. They shrunk and shrunk and shrunk, and what I was left with was the skin of 34D breasts without the volume. They sag big time now. My nipples are back to being sort of puffy when I’m warm, only getting erect when I’m cold.

I have the option to get breast augmentation. It’s something my husband and I have talked about a lot. He doesn’t care whether I do it or not. He’s concerned that it won’t actually solve the issue.
I don’t even know why it bothers me so much. I am thankful that I was able to nurse for six months. The boobs served their purpose and nourished my child. But I feel self conscious when my husband touches them. I know he still enjoys touching them but to me, they’ve lost their sensual qualities and I’d rather he touch me somewhere else, anywhere else, but not my boobs.

I can’t decide what to do. We aren’t going to have more children, so it’s not like I have to worry about future breastfeeding being affected. I’m trying to ignore society’s idea of what breasts should look like and really look into my heart over this decision.

It’s been really hard on me, and I’ve struggled with it for a while. I want to look more like the 17 year old me, because she really had it good. She was fun and carefree with hardly any responsibilities. Now I look at myself naked and I match how I feel. Tired, stressed, aging. There’s never enough time to do what I wish I could do for myself and it’s depressing.

If I got the surgery, it would be modest. I would like to a 34C again and just have mass and volume in my breasts again. I’m not interested in having boobs that don’t even move because they’re so overdone. I know I should be looking at the bigger picture, how it’s not going to matter in the slightest when I’m 80… but could I have more confidence now? How great would it be if I could pull off my shirt in front of my husband and let him touch them, and enjoy it, instead of sneaking around trying to cover up when I’m changing or getting out of the shower?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I am really on the fence about it right now. Thank you for reading my story!

First pic is me warm and hunched over.
Second pic is me cold and standing up.

4 Weeks After Second C-Section (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

4 weeks after second c-section

Hi ladies. I’m 26 years old and this is my second baby. My first was at 19. Both have been c-sections.

I started pregnancy 1 at 145 pounds (athlete). I was a size 4/6. I finished that pregnancy at 185, size 16.

I got some stretch marks in that pregnancy. I lost the weight in 9 months through fairly hard exercise (1 hour cardio 6x week) and a 1200-1800 calorie a day diet. It SUCKED. I also got 550cc implants to restore my breast fullness about 3 years post-partum. (Silicone under muscle for those wondering).

When I got pregnant this time I vowed not to gain the weight and hired a trainer. I worked out until 7 months and ate fairly well. I went from 135-170 this time. Interestingly, I did not get stretch marks.

These pictures are at 4 weeks after this pregnancy. The “before” one is in between pregnancies. I destroyed all my old PP pictures sadly…

In these pictures I am 147 lbs. 12 pounds over my goal. Currently a 6/8, 38-28-38. I seem to get pregnant in my ass…wow…not liking the size of it or the weird over the hips fat. However I know that patience is key and hopefully in 9 months from now I’ll be back into a 2/4.

Right now I’m walking an hour a day until I’m cleared for workouts and averaging 1800 calories a day, not breastfeeding.

I truly believe there is very little a person can do to control their body in pregnancy. Everything is genetics, well part how you take care of yourself but mostly genetics. For that reason we need to be easy on ourselves. I’m fairly ok with my outcome but I am VERY critical of my body so any weight is a struggle. Women are crazy like that, totally too hard on ourselves :)

My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 5 Comments

I am 34 years old and gave birth to my first child in June of this year. Before falling pregnant I had always suffered from poor body image at times although I had got really fit and was running and weight lifting. I guess I was as happy with my body at that stage, more than I had ever been before. Having lost an incredible amount of weight in my twenties (I went down from 301 pounds to 140 pounds) I had battled my demons but paid the price with saggy tummy skin and looser skin elsewhere. I learned to live with the excess skin, something that I would have to pay privately for to be removed and something I could not afford to do. To exacerbate the issue I suffer from a condition called hyper mobility which can have an effect on the elastin in the skin, making it more prone to scarring and stretching.

Anyhow I fell pregnant and realised that my tummy skin was going to take a serious hit, after all that weight I had lost. The pregnancy went well and I gave birth. I am now 12 weeks post partum and am glad to see the stretch marks are no different to the ones I had post weight loss, I might have the odd extra few here and there but I am currently 200 pounds so significantly more than the 150 I started at pre pregnancy. So I have a battle with not only losing weight but facing that stomach again. I do hate it, it makes me feel deformed and unattractive. I think it has affected me getting into a stable relationship and will continue to so, I don’t feel normal with it and do everything in my power to hide it in intimate situations. I am no longer with the person who fathered my child and I dread the day I may meet someone else as I have to face all my insecurities once again. I am trying to lose weight at the moment and am terrified of how much worse the sagginess will be, it is honestly destroying my confidence. I always looked great with clothes on and my figure was pretty good but I hated how I looked naked :( Who knows how bad it is going to be if I can get down to my pre pregnancy weight. Maybe I should try to approach my doctor again and explain the psychological effect it is having. I could not bring myself to take pictures to accompany this diatribe, I apologise but it ain’t pretty.

I do not share these feelings with anyone, I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit I have a deformation. Isn’t that sad?

Ugh I need to get over it and love me for me but I doubt I will to be honest!

25 And I Hate My Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 20 Comments

I have been feeling so depressed. I’m 25 and I hate my body. I’ve had one child. She just turned 4. I just thought after 4 years I would look better and I don’t. I have exercised and watched what I eat and I’m down to 139 lbs but I don’t look it. All of the weight was lost everywhere BUT my midsection. It makes me feel deformed or something! And the awful stretch marks just make it even worse. My husband tells me that I shouldn’t wear a bikini because other people may make fun of me (but he says he doesn’t mind me in a bikini). That makes me feel even worse and obviously he does mind or he wouldn’t say that. Am I the only woman with such an out of proportion body?

Update (Adria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Number of pregnancies:1
Number of births:1
21 years old

Previous post here.

I’ve posted here before. I was disgusted with my breasts and body. I did not think I could be fixed. My family and friends I told me to wait at least one year post partum before I started to judge myself too harshly. I never understood why. But now I do. I am one year post part um now and for the most part my body is back to normal. I gave my body time to heal and it did. I may not be perfect but I feel pretty dang good. One of the biggest things that helped me was cutting down on fast food to once every week or two. And fitnessblender, look them up on face book. They offer free minimal to maximum workouts. Its so simple and easy too. I hope I can help someone today to change how they see themselves, as amazing beautiful mommies you all are. You don’t have to workout to be beautiful, but I know from experience that it makes your mind healthier you feel amazing and energized. I’m a much happier person now. Thank you for reading my update. I also attached a picture of my inspiration my son.

Working out and trying to love myself again. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 4 Comments

age: 19
children: 2 1/2 year old.

Previous post here.

I’ve been trying to take each day one day at a time.. I am now parentless. my dad passed away when I was 11, my mom last april. both to lung& brain cancer. Ive had lots of drama and had to put my sons father in jail for abuse. I recently moved to where my dad grew up to live with my step aunt& uncle. things didn’t work out there, now I am at a two bed apartment with my son. I am attending college for a free prep program so I can go into nursing or dental. 4 days a week and my son is in a home daycare, he likes it, im glad. I excersise every morning a cardio & night a weight lifting.. ive became an over excersiser since my mom passed away.. its like something to do.. then got into restrict & binging, it wasn’t good at all got to 92lbs and that left with bad inner thigh marks as shown in the picture.. I am now 114 lbs.. gained all that within 3 months from my grandpas sweets… I am now a beach body coach and I want to help other mothers learn to love their body as my journey moves along also.

I am currently getting a treatment called Derma pen to see if itll help my inner thigh stretchmarks… just had my second treatment. I will take pictures after my last one is complete in 5 months.

I love reading all of your stories and I hope I can help some <3 [gallery][gallery ids="11976,11977,11978"]

A Work in Progress (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

I am a 24 year old first time mum. I went into this knowing of most of the complications that can happen when you give birth..my story goes like this:

I really was interested in doing this the natural way, no drugs etc. But when I became two weeks overdue my doctor became concerned but still left the choice up to me to wait (so grateful). However, when my baby showed a bit of distress we decided to induce. On a quick side note, she was supposed to be a christmas baby, then we bypassed that, then new years, and then she was actually born on my birthday, January 9th!

Anyways, I was induced on a monday morning and went drug free after that for 24 hours. I was in labor a total of 36 hours! By the 24th hour I was pretty tired and tried the gas, no use, tried morphine, didn’t even make a dent in the pain. So finally they figured my labor stalled and wanted to give me pitocin. I was okay with that, trying to go with the flow, and had an epidural as well. I finally slept, which was great! Then things started picking up! Now we were pushing! Fantastic! Except I was pushing for 4 hours with no progress. Bring on another edpiural top up and a doctor suggesting a C Section and I had that baby out by wednesday morning at 4 am. I was extremely surprised when they weighed my baby girl at 10lbs 3 ounces!! Mind you, I looked ridiculous pregnant, I’m 5″3I was HUGE! Makes sense haha. I tore really bad though, a 3rd degree right down the middle, then another first degree up the right side. 3 blood transfusions and a bunch of IVs later, we were released on Thursday.

So with all that in mind, the fact that I have a 3 finger diastasis recti and am doing so much physio, due to the stress on my body, I am still extremely upset that I haven’t bounced back faster. I thought I was in decent shape, I guess not. I look at my figure and I still look 3 months pregnant and there is NOTHING I can do about it now. I think that is the worst part. I wish some one would tell me that I will continue to make progress. I wish that I could just melt this tummy away, it’s soft and jiggly and I hate the way it moves and It really doesn’t feel a part of me. It sucks, and I am sad at how frumpy I look and feel.

Age= 24
Number of pregnancies= 1
Number of children= 1
Month postpartum= 7 and a bit

First and second picture is 41 + 2 days pregnant, the third is about a month post, the fourth and fifth is about 4 months post. I haven’t done a recent photo. But it has gone down and the stretch marks aren’t so red anymore. Please, tell me what you think.