First Pregnancy

Trying to Accept My Body (Candy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 22 Comments

I am 20 years old, I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant.
I was really excited, and my baby is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I am a single mom and it TERRIFIES me to look for a relationship because of the stretch marks the pregnancy left
on my breasts and buttocks.

I have no problem with staying single for the rest of my life, but I don’t think it’s right.

I Feel So Insecure (Rebecca)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 7 Comments

age: 20 pregnancies: 2 births: 2 children: 2 girls aged 4 and 10 weeks PP: 10 weeks
Keywords: second pregnancy, belly, normal delivery, stretch marks,breastfeeding.

“My body has changed so much”. Thats the first thing that crosses my mind when i look at my body in the mirror. Nothing will ever make my body the way it used to be. How could my beautiful children make my body look and feel so unattractive. I can’t help but feel so insecure about my body, no matter how much one reassures me. Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing and i enjoyed mine thoroughly, my children were so worth it, i just cant help but feel awful. But this site has opened up my eyes alot, and i think its a great way of helping women get over their post partum woes. Thankyou to all these women for making me smile. I hope someone can read this and relate and realise their not alone too. :-)

Photos:
Me au natural
Belly before second pregnancy
37 weeks pregnant
My baby Anna
pp 10 weeks side
pp 10 weeks front

More Than a Shape (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

Age – 20
# of Births – 1
P.P – 1 week

I had the greatest love of my life ask me to marry him last year. Of course I said yes and wedding plans were in the air when I found out I was pregnant. Side note – I told him at 3 in the morning jumping in to bed because I had just taken the test because it said to use your morning pee but really had to go and didn’t want to mess anything up. Poor man was shocked. We both were since we were pretty careful. But the pregnancy was not the least bit unwanted. We moved the wedding up to August so that my dress would still fit and we already were about to move in together so timing wise everything was pretty perfect.

My pregnancy was pretty routine other than I didn’t have a midwife until I was 21 weeks and there were no doctors willing to take me as a patient. He was a perfectly healthy little boy and we were both so excited. I didn’t hate being pregnant but I wasn’t overly interested in it either. I liked feeling him move the first few times and watching him grow inside me but I never felt super connected with him which worried me a little. At 34 weeks I just started liking him more and more. I had a false labor at 35 weeks which scared everyone because it didnt seem like a false labor at the time, but after a night in the hosptial everything calmed down. For a while…

Before getting pregnant I was a fairly active person, loved to work out and running was my favorite. I continued with exercise through my pregnancy, slowing down of course and accepted the changes to my body, not right away as I complained about the strecth marks on my breasts and hips. I did get what I feel was fairly big over the pregnancy, starting at 133 pounds and going up to 170 approx when I gave birth. I was pretty upset about the marks on my hips and in the last month of pregnancy they showed up all over my legs. Another side note – I have never had any stretch marks before being pregnant so they came as a pretty big shock.

Last month of being pregnant, can we say uncomfortable? The whole pregnancy my little baby had been on my right side bunched up and my ribs were all inflamed from his constant pressure on them. Hard to breathe, couldn’t sit up, impossible to sleep (I was lucky if I could get 2 hours total a night). I was really ready for this baby to come out.

Having a midwife was really amazing. We weren’t planning on it but they had room. I was interested in having a natural birth at the hospital, and we decided to attempt to use nothing during the delivery and if not then laughing gas because it didnt affect the baby at all. I was excited to have a natural birth. At the routine 39 week appointment with my midwife, she took my blood pressure…twice and then made me lie down and took it again and then told me we needed to go to the hospital right away. I was 160/120 and mine was usually about 130/70. We got to the hospital and got checked over and over and over again and it was staying high with it’s highest being at 179/126. Even after 3 doses of blood pressure medication there was almost no change. They induced me at 6pm on Wednesday. Contractions were strong and less than 3 minutes apart after a few hours. I was 3 cm dilated but it was going slow. By 6am I was using the laughing gas which was barely sustaining me and I was getting tired. At lunch time on Thursday they broke my water hoping to speed things up because I wasn’t dilating any more. That pushed me over the edge pain wise, maybe just in my head, and I was started on Demoral since my birthing plan was pretty much out the window. I slowly started dilating and by 8pm I was about 8 cm. I was in so much pain and couldn’t stop screaming and crying and even my midwife said I should get an epidural. I finally agreed and after it starting working I was really glad I gave in. After trying to push for 3 hours and being fully dilated and nothing happening, the doctor said I would be getting a C section and there was no other choice. I was pretty upset about it but after 37 hours of labor I was pretty quick to be okay with it. The C-section was the scariest thing ever but I made it through with my husband by my side.

After it was all over I had a beautiful baby boy weighing 9 pounds exactly and was 21 inches long. A pretty big boy. But he is healthy and happy and a great sleeper. But I also have a scar that I was never expecting to have. I can complain about the stretch marks and the giant cut but it really is all in the way you look at it and thats why I wanted to write my story. My scar is the product of a little boy who came out of me the only way possible, the stretch marks a result of making this little boy the healthiest newborn there is and I got some really great breasts out of it too. I mean I think they were great before but I always felt they looked fake because they were so perky. Now they are giant round real looking breasts and I like that a lot better.

I guess my point is that your shape is more than just the way your body looks. It’s about creating a life, or many lives, and the joys and pains that it has to go through to make that happen. The life of a child is worth any scar or stretch mark that I could ever see. I know it might not feel that way and believe me I have days were I feel like a round lump of whale (just ask my husband), but it’s a frame of mind and any body that has gone through pregnancy will be beautiful in its own way and thats the simple truth of it all.

1st picture – Prepregnancy Body
2nd picture – 37 weeks pregnant
3rd picture – My precious little man at 2 days old

Learning to be Proud of My Body (Rach)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

age 21
1 pregnancy\1 birth

I am now 21, i have always been over weight i am 5’2 and i am 240, i have always found it hard to love myself but i wear my weight well. (most ppl dont know how much i really weight) when i was 19 i fell in love with a bad person but i fought for our love and was told i could never have children because i was over weight and had ovarian cysts , better luck i guess when we are ready it will happen. soon to my amazement i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant on my 20th birthday, after trying for so long my prayers were answered and i was so happy i cried, my family wanted me to get an abortion because of the father, but i refused. i had a really bad pregnancy, i was always sick and i had really bad circulation, my body swelled so much and my best friend took care of me most of the time (he is a guy), my fiance wasnt ever around, he was with other women. i was in the hospital from 32 weeks til i delivered at 40 weeks to a beautiful 9lb 5oz 22inch baby boy, and my whole world changed, even after the c section i was walking around and i healed very fast taking care of a newborn on my own, When i gave birth i weighed 270, and had no strech marks, i know love the fact that i have the love marks my son left behind, i look at myself and thank my baby boy everyday, i have come to learn that if i hadn’t had corvin, and this amazing gift in my life, something that shouldn’t of happend then i wouldn’t be the mother i am today, i am currently engaged to that best friend, and my son is the happiest, smartest, strongest thing that ever happen to me, and for that i love my body, this body created, nurtured, and loved that beautiful boy into this world, and my fiance to this day will rub my belly and i will not be offended because he loves my son and he says everytime ” i love your belly and i love my baby” i hope you all get inspiration and learn to love yourself, beautiful , skinny or a little fluffy, you have the most amazing motherly body in the world!

Tigers are tough, so that’s why I have stripes (Megan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Age-21
Height-5’2
# of pregnancies- 1 miscarriage.. 1 full term
Weight gained during pregnancy- 45lbs

I am 37 weeks pregnant today. And when I look in the mirror I see warrior. My story is unfair, but I love that it happened to me. It has
given me the strength that I have needed for each and every day of these long 9 months. Lets go back to July 2011 when I found out I was
expecting, after only a month of trying with my beloved fiance of 3 years. I was over the moon with joy as I sat on my bathroom floor and
cried tears of excitement and happiness. I called my fiance and told him the good news. He sounded angry and said we would talk later. My high spirits had lowered after that and I sat there wondering what was wrong? Later on he got home and sat on the couch, he asked me to sit down. I had no idea what was about to happen, but if I did I would have had a titanium bat ready for him. He said I can’t be with you anymore. I asked why. He said Jessica, his “ex” girlfriend, was 8 months pregnant with his child and they’ve been together for the entire time. My first thought was that he was just making this up because he was scared.. and then he whipped out the ultrasound photo of his daughter. I sat there, tears streaming down my face not even knowing how the hell this happened or how dumb I was to have missed the signs of his infidelity. How could he actively try to conceive with me knowing that he had another on the way? As I sat frozen on the couch he packed his things and left. I sat on that couch the whole night, not moving an inch, knowing that if I did I would have to go find him and kill him. A few weeks go by with no word from him, I went about my life in a zombie like state, hating him more and more every day, but realizing that I was pregnant and went for my first ultrasound. Well., that was it for me. I was in love with this
little person growing inside of me. My whole perceptive changed that day. I was glowing and excited and looking towards the future with a grin so big it could have blinded someone. When I was about 16 weeks he called me. I asked him what was up. He said he wanted nothing to do with me or my child ever again and to not contact him because he was starting his new family and didn’t want any distractions or trouble. I said No problem! and hung up the phone. I haven’t talked to him since. As my belly grew and my excitement increased, I noticed some small stretch marks.. that eventually turned into large stretch marks. And even though I am young, and my body will never be the same after this, I know that my child gave me the most amazing strength I could ever have to not break down and loose it all. But hey, I figured.. a tiger has to be tough! And god damn I was a tiger proudly sharing my stripes with all of you.

First photo- 20 weeks, no stretch marks(black and white)
Second photo- 37 weeks.. lots of stripes
Third photo- 37 weeks front view

Pregnancy I of III (Sam)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

I’m now pregnant with my third child, but I thought I would better start with the first…. so here we go…. I was always curvy, so I didn’t really experience any more stretch marks than the one I already had…. And I must say that the body just got more mature…. from a chubby teen to a curvy woman! I had no complaints about it :)

Age: Now 27 then 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1st of 3…
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 0,3,5

Hello Again, Friends (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Previous post here.

This is my new entry :) I made a previous entry approximately a year ago describing my issues with body image and trying to love my body. Am I there yet? I wish I could say that I am but it is a long process. I have had my struggles and to be honest some days are better than others. Some days I feel like a sexy mamma ! Other days I wear baggy clothes and I want to hide my body. You just never know. What I feel has honestly helped is working out. I am extremely passionate about it. I am six years post p and I still have the stomach of loose skin and breasts that sag more than I like. Still, when I challenge my body in a work out I feel a million times better. I feel strong despite my negative emotions about my body. When I work out I feel like it doesnt matter that my skin sags in certain spots or that I have stretch marks. All I think about is being brace and strong. There are so many emotional stories on here. What I find motivating about this site is that even if you read a sad story about a woman who fears her new body, women comment to make her feel how she truly should, a strong woman, a tiger who should be worshiped for her contribution to this world even if you feel like the only one you ever made was your child. To have a child and raise a child whether you are old or young is an amazing thing. None of us do it perfectly and we all have regrets. Lets not make our bodies one of those regrets. When you only have one life to live why punish yourself for something like this? Embrace who you are and how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings and morn the old body but embrace what is new after that. Be healthy, eat healthy and try to think healthy as a whole. Focus on that amazing child of yours :)

I give all of the women on this site a lot of credit :) Every single one of you from all walks of life….one big thing in common. The life we brought into this world !

Here are some pics :)

– one pregnancy
– 6 years pp

I Feel Like a Woman! (Dessy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Hi! Thank all you beautiful mommies for helping me feel so much better about my body!

I am 23, and 18 weeks into my first pregnancy. The body changes have been hard for me to accept. I suffered from an eating disorder in my teens, so much so that I didn’t start having my period until I was 17! I went through a time of eating an average of 3 meals per week. I am 5’7″, and I didn’t get above 105lbs until age 19. Now, at 23, I was finally a healthy weight of 125lbs (or about, I threw away my scale over a year ago and decided to focus on overall health instead.) and I always felt I was fat. I started gaining weight rapidly with this pregnancy.

I am one of those lucky women who hardly had any morning sickness, so I packed it on. By the end of my first trimester I was up 15 lbs, and felt terrible about it! Everyone was telling me I was gaining too much, or commenting that I was showing way too soon. And now I’m up to 147 already! On top of this, my Husband is in Afghanistan (got pregnant on leave lol) and I am buying house by myself. Finally, i desperation and after much crying, I googled ‘How to feel beautiful pregnant’ and that is how I ended up here. After reading stories and seeing pictures, I started to feel much better about my body. I still have ‘off days’, but for the most part I am learning to love the extra curves pregnancy is giving me. Now I finally feel like a woman, whole and complete. I have never been this comfortable with my body! I am rockin’ these curves! ;)

With as much as I’ve gained already, I am fairly sure that I will never reach 125lbs again, but I have decided to set my postpartum goal at 140lbs, which for my height of 5’7″ should be very healthy. Through reading your inspiring stories, I even found the confidence to send my husband some sexy pictures of my rounder body… which he said he loves much more than the “skinny stick figure” he married lol!

These pictures are of me before becoming pregnant, at 125lbs, when I desperately wanted to lose weight

And me now at 18 weeks pregnant.

I can’t wait to come back and share my stretch marks and post-baby shape.

Trying to Find Beauty Among the Stretch Marks (Dani)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Pregnancies/Births: 1/1
Age: 21
My sons age : 1 month

I had a beautiful son January 8th, 2012, and on that day, I felt like a new person. All of a sudden, life had a meaning. I look into his eyes and I see his crazy, but amazing personality. And I cannot believe that I created something so amazing. He is my whole life. However, when I look in the mirror I want to cringe at how I look, and it makes me feel like a bad mom. I have this amazing little boy to hold and love, and I am concerned about my body? I have issues with my body for a long time, though….

I was always a little on the bigger side. My senior year of high school I finally tipped the scale at 170 pounds (I am 5’5”). I got so depressed. I started working out and eating a little less, I lost 25 pounds. Which that was good for a while. Then I started dating who is now my husband. Which he loves how I look and always has. But after a year of dating, his parents invited us to go camping for a week at a lake. I got so scared about being in a swimsuit. So, I started dieting and working out…It got so out of control. Over the course of a few months I went from 145 to 93 pounds. And I have kind of a medium build body, so I had bones sticking out everywhere, but I still felt so fat. Towards the end of my dieting disaster, I was only eating an apple a day. And even then I felt like it was going to make me fat. I would walk 2 miles to work, be on my feet for 8-12 hours and then walk the 2 miles back. I did this 6 days a week. And even then, I would sometimes wake up in the morning to go on a jog. But after a while, I had no energy. I even got tired just walking to the bathroom, but I didn’t care. In September, 2010 I missed my period and thought I was pregnant. So I put my selfish ways aside and started eating normal, for the sake of the possible child. I took many tests and they were negative. But just in case they were wrong, I kept eating and so my weight kept going up. I finally got my period again 3 months later. My doctor said my period stopped because I wasn’t eating enough. I was super devastated that I wasn’t pregnant, because I liked that idea. So, I decided to keep eating and then after a months of me getting healthier, my husband and I decided we would try to have a baby. We weren’t planning on succeeding the first month =)
I started my pregnancy at 130. By the time I delivered, I was a whopping 212 pounds. I have a thyroid problem, which was discovered halfway through my pregnancy. I didn’t have gestational diabetes and my baby and I were healthy, so I was hoping most of it would come right off after delivery….I was SOOOO wrong. I am not down to 180 pounds and cannot lose anymore. I am breastfeeding, and I was hoping that would help me lose weight, but I haven’t lost anything. I am watching what I eat, and exercising lightly. (I will exercise more once I get the okay from my doc at my next check up). I hate how I look…My belly is squishy and jiggly and just hangs there, and I have stretch marks like crazy (which is understandable since my son was 8 pounds 13 ounces!!!). But I hate it…i feel so gross…i still wear my maternity pants because the band holds in my sagging belly, which, wearing my maternity pants is pretty embarrassing too.

I don’t know what to do or think. I love my son and I wouldn’t change it for the world, no matter how bad I think I look. But, it’s tough knowing what I used to look like and then looking at how I am now. I guess I will have to get over it, cause it’s not like it’s going to change just cause I wish that it would…Once I am done breastfeeding him next year, I am going to go on a HEALTHY diet and exercise a lot more. I really don’t want to go back to how I was, but that is how I feel….I have to force myself to eat now because I ignore my hunger and feel guilty every time I eat. Oh well, I guess…I have beautiful son out of it, so I can’t complain too much =)