Belly

My Body: 3 Years Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

I am a mother of 3, my last one was in July of 2013. I was obese at the time, and my son was a 10-pound baby, so my canvas was not the cleanest when I set myself to lose weight.

I went from an unknown weight (probably 180, 5ft2in) down to an average of 130lbs. I’m very athletic, run, cycle, and a good amount of strength training. My diet is dang-near impeccable, with occasional slips on date night, taco Tuesday, or a glass of wine after a long day.

What I’m getting at is: I am doing everything right…as best as I can! But my mommy belly will not go away. It’s like I have a thick shield of fat on top on my abdomen that doesn’t match the rest of me.
I’ve made peace with saggy, stretchy, stripey skin…but the belly fat is pretty unwelcome.
I have read all kinds of health columns, and have been patient, but it seems like there is no use.
Is there anything I need to know that the columns aren’t telling me about the realistic expectations I should have about my fat? Am I truely an exception to all of the advice out there on the WWW?
Please help give me hope or at least peace of mind. I’m tired of feeling like a failure.

Thank you for your time!

~Age: 30
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3
~The age of my children, and how far postpartum I am: 6, 4, and 3. Three years postpartum.

“Mommy I Love Your Squishy Tummy” (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 1 Comment

I am 30 years old and I have two children, ages 8 and 6.

The story of how I learned to be ok with my body again after kids is a long one. Similar to many on this site. When I became a single woman with children I thought, “No one will ever love or want me because I am hideous.” What I have learned in the last two years of being single is that is a bunch of hogwash!

I stopped focusing on achieving perfection and instead began to focus on my overall health. I’m 5’7 and I went from 210 lbs with 37% body fat to 150 lbs with 24% body fat. I have maintained this weight for a year. I have fitness goals I am continuing to work towards.

My body is healthy. It isn’t perfect and it never will be. Sometimes I still struggle with knowing this, but I remind myself that there are more important things in life than having a perfect body. I remind myself to be kind and when needed I remind myself that it’s ok to cry over what I have lost. I remind myself how far I have come and ultimately I remember what my children have told me over the years:

“You’re beautiful Mommy!”

“I want to look like you when I’m older Mom.”

“Mommy, I love your tummy so much. It’s soft and squishy and ahhhh… I just love it!”

The ways their eyes light up when people tell them they look like miniature versions of me.

I see them watching me and I am proud that even in my darkest days I have never once exposed them to the emotional turmoil I felt inside. I have not talked down about my body nor have I hidden it in shame. They know we eat well because it’s good for our bodies. They know we are active because we want to be strong and healthy. And I know that they are always watching. I never want them to go through what I have gone through and so that is what motivates me to keep working towards loving myself as I am. Am I 100% there yet? No, I am not, but I am getting there.

It is What it is (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions 4 Comments

3 years Post partum. 2 c sections, 32 years old.

I had severe undiagnosed perinatal depression with my first child, leading to me demanding a c section or I was going to throw myself off of a ledge. I was terrified and didn’t want to ever be left alone for fear of what might happen. Thankfully treated Post partum depression with my 2nd, so much more manageable.

I will never look the same again, and it has severely impacted how and when I work out or hike or rock climb or anything. My sense of self has been so contorted since being pregnant I am just now grasping at who I used to be.

I loved my body before children. It was the body that was reliable, and would push me to my limits, create expression through movement or strength. I could feel alive in my body and what I was capable of. Pregnancy changed my entire existence. Would I trade my body back?? Of course I would. Right now though, I’m dedicated to reading to my children in the evening even if it means I can’t get my run in. Sometimes I’m depressed about it, most times, however I am now realizing that permanence has no place in my life. Everything is temporary and there is a peace that comes with experiencing and living this.

That’s how it goes. Some days I’m lost, some days I’m found. But it is what it is.

Embracing My Body as a Mother (Jessica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

I am a 22 year old mother with 2 babies 12 months apart. After my first was born I had an identity crisis. I looked into the mirror and I didn’t know who I was any more, I didn’t recognize my body, I was depressed. Then I had my second and one day I realized I am beautiful because this belly and stretchmarks are given me to me as a sign that I have been blessed with children, a constant reminder of how my life has been beautifully changed into a mother. It is different than my young, tight pre-baby body, but it is just as beautiful because this is my young, beautiful baby stretched mommy body. I am no longer just a beautiful young woman, I am a beautiful young mother! However, I have learned something important through the process of my body turning into a mother and that is, it is ok to grieve. I grieved my old body because it was over, gone, never to be the same again. It is a reality that so many of us women have to face. We may lose the weight, work hard and gain back muscle but somethings will never be what they used to be. The mere fact that we are now mothers means our lives are forever changed. But now it is time to move on and embrace the future as a beautiful Mama!

12 months postpartum with my second
Lawrence 2
Myra 1

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Off Balance (Monica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I had my first boy at 21 and my second at 26. I’m now 28 and still working at loving my body. It’s pretty much looked exactly this way since my first child. I’m sometimes unhappy with my breasts, uneven and stretched. I struggle with depression and can be really hard on myself at times. However, I celebrate my flaws when I can and that’s why I’m sharing this photo with you! Today I feel okay with the body I live in. We don’t have to be perfect to be amazing!

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Learning to Accept Myself (Daniela)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 1 Comment

-My age: 18
-Number of pregnancies/births: 1
-Age of children: 5 months

Last year, I was very depressed and had recently gone through a break up. In an attempt to “numb” myself and my feelings, I began drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. One thing led to another and I slept with a boy I barely knew. I ended up getting pregnant on June 2015. I am 5’5 and before my pregnancy, I weighed 130 pounds. By the end of my pregnancy I weighed 190! I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl Jade on March 27, 2016 weighing in at 9 lbs 10 oz. I was so happy and still am, she is the light of my life. Everything in my life would be perfect right now if it weren’t for my body and my insecurities. I got lots of stretch marks and because of the excess weight I gained, I now have a belly pouch. At 5 months PP I weigh 160 so I still want to lose at least 20 pounds. My stretch marks were so dark and ugly that I would cry myself to sleep. I started doing derma rolling and dry brushing and it has helped them immensely. I am still quite young so looking at other 18 year old bodies makes me very sad because I look nothing like that. I am also terrified that no one will want me, but I am slowly trying to accept myself. I keep reminding myself that my body is this way because I carried the love of my life in there for 10 months and I would do it all over again for her. She is so worth it

-1st picture: me at 40 weeks pregnant
-2nd picture: 1 month PP
-3rd picture: 5 months PP

4 Girls Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions 1 Comment

Hi, I have 4 girls. A 6 year old, 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old. I am 24. I have recently lost 50 pounds, I have been trying to tone up but now I am starting to accept maybe this is how my body is now after 4 girls. Some days I love my body, other days I despise it. Having 4 girls, i am trying to look at my body more positive, for them. In the end, we made humans and our body is just the proof of that. We are all beautiful and we have to remember that for ourselves and for our children.

3rd Time Wasn’t a Charm (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 0 Comment

Ages at births: 21, 23, 26
4 months pp
Weight gained with pregnancies: 20lb, 30lb, 27lbs
Pictures are 38 weeks preggo with #3, 4 months pp side and front view with Cesarean scar

I posted on here after my first two babies forever ago it seems, seemed appropriate to do it again. My first birth was an epidural with vaccum assist, my second was natural, so when we found out we were expecting our third baby I naturally assumed we’d have another “normal” for us birth. I have always gone into labor naturally, once on my due date, once the day after, but with our third I began have prodromal labor two weeks before. Nightly I’d experience painful contractions until around midnight. They became normal, 3 days before my due date I woke up at 5 am and knew it would be the day, we packed to head to the hospital 2 hours away, dropped our older two off and were excited to meet our little man. I was 7 centimeters when we arrived, and 2 hours later I was fully dilated and pushing…then my doctor says. ” I see a scrotumn! I’ve never done a breech birth before! ” in pain and wanting to be done, I consented to a c-section. And here is where I begin to struggle, I hated my birth, I know it got me a healthy baby and we are both OK! But I hate my body because of it, not sure if it was a 3rd pregnancy or the c-section, but my tummy is NOT to my liking. I feel like i failed my body having a csection. I know too it’s only been 4 months, but I began exercise as soon as I got my go ahead and I can’t even shake these last 10 pounds. I am breastfeeding so maybe that’s why, but I’m discouraged and frustrated and know I shouldn’t be. I’ve got 3 healthy kids, and I’m healthy, why isn’t that enough for me? Why do I feel the need to fit into the pre-pregnant me? Knowing all these things doesn’t make them easier to accept for me. So that’s where I’m at.

Beauty Comes From Within (Aimee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Breasts - Uneven, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 2 Comments

Age:27
2 pregnancies 1 birth
Age of child: 5month

We have all heard the phrases beauty comes from with in and beauty is in the eye of the beholder but such phrases come up short and feel shallow when we are talking about ourselves, our body image. I have struggled with certain aspects of my body like most of the women on this site, but I have been blessed with the opportunities to overcome/look past/accept the parts of me that aren’t perfect. Not to drag on here but in high school my friends were all much smaller and prettier than me, which I was well aware of and so were all the boys who would befriend me in hopes of me putting in a good word for them. But to be honest I loved that I had so many guy friends that I could go to for advice or to talk to for an honest opinion. I loved that my friends were so pretty and I admired them. Sometimes I would get down on myself that I had crooked teeth or that at 16 my thighs had dark thick stretch marks, but luckily I had these guy friends that I could talk to about it and you know they always would tell me the same thing …that it doesn’t matter that I was an awesome person and fun and if someone was so superficial as to not want to be with me because of what I saw as flaws then it was their loss and to not worry about. And you know I took this to heart and I found ways to love myself. Before I got pregnant I was working out 2 hours a day 4-5 days a week, I was in no way ripped but I loved my body and had so much energy. When we didn’t get pregnant right away I thought it might be due to the stress I was putting on my body by exercising so I decided to stop until I got pregnant with the intention that I would go back to light exercises once it happened. That never happened I slept through my first trimester, second trimester was amazing and I started doing occasional hikes and walks but nothing crazy and I had gained 10 maybe 15 pounds by this point didn’t look pregnant and had no stretch marks. Then the third trimester hit and I gained 40-45 pound!(that’s 40 pounds in 3 months my Dr was shocked) My stomach erupted in stretch marks (they didn’t hit until I was 8 months along) and my whole body felt swollen and sluggish. My heart was always beating very hard and I had a hard time catching my breath if I did too much. So I became obsessed with looking for pictures of women in a similar situation, I saved every possible exercise regime, I drooled over post pregnancy flat bellys, and I researched every possible remedy for stretch mark reduction. Then I had my beautiful boy via c section (planned) he was 9lbs 1oz and then in the first month I had dropped 30lbs. I felt great about the prospect of getting my body back. But that went out the window with the struggles of breastfeeding. It was very important to me to breastfeed and I put all of my time and energy into making sure we developed a good breastfeeding relationship. Which led to my now exclusively left side breastfed body. There are times that I’m embarrassed at the fact that one breast is at least 2 times the size of the other. I sometimes try to hide it when we are going out with our friends. But for the most part when I see it I’m proud. I’m proud that I am able to sustain a healthy happy boy only needing one breast to do the job. I’m proud because it shows my dedication as a mom and that I’m not superficial I can go out in public with my body the way it is. I have stretch marks, a slightly saggy stomach, lopsided breasts, and my hair is falling out faster than its growing back in but I’m a devoted mother, a caring wife, a fun loving friend, an understanding sister and a forgiving daughter. I do love myself and though my old clothes don’t look as good on me, when I see myself naked in the mirror I think I’m beautiful. We go through many stages in life and some are better than others but we will continue to change throughout our lives and our mindset is what’s going to affect whether those future changes are positive or not.

I know my body will continue to change and that there are others out there who have gone through more dramatic changes than I have but I challenge you to be proactive and to find at least one thing you love about yourself and one thing you love about your body (I have great shoulders that I think are very sensual). Look at your new body as a reflection of the past you’ve lived and embrace the changes as they continue to appear. I’m posting my pre, pregnant, and post body because I researched like crazy when I was pregnant trying to find people with a similar body type. I don’t do any special diet and as for exercise I walk about a mile at least once a week (this only started happening a couple weeks ago).

34yo Mother of 3 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Widow 4 Comments

I became a widow 2 years ago in my early 30’s. I didn’t expect to be dating ever again…the prospect of showing your naked torso to a man who didn’t help put those stripes there is a frightening one to say the least. When the date clothes come off this is what you see…no hiding the marks of motherhood.

34 yrs old
4 pregnancies, 3 live births (2 teens and a 4th grader)

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