Before Pregnancy

Hi, my name is Bump and for nine months it’s all about me! (Alinka)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months

Hi, my name is Bump and for 9 months it’s all about me!

I am a mystery (well not for your gynecologist, but still). I am where the miracle of life starts (really that would be my neighbour the
fallopian tube but let’s not get into details now). I am where you’ve all spent 9 months before you came to this world. No wonder I attract so much attention.

In week 13 you still couldn’t see me but I know that I was loved. I was talked to, touched and screened during check-ups. In week 18 I
bounced a little for the very first time – my guest punched faintly against my walls and I knew I brought loads of excitement. That
however was only the warm-up to what then became a regular kick-box training against my walls. That little thing inside sure was a lively one!

In week 23 I still wasn’t attracting any attention and when I went for the ultrasound appointment (I was traveling so the doctor didn’t know me), the nurse was surprised that there was a guest inside me! That’s how big I was.

In week 25 I could still fit into my skinny jeans, as in week 26 (beginning of the third trimester) and week 27. But that was it. Week
28 was when I hit the skinny jeans limit. Still, the shop assistants failed to notice that I had a little guest inside me when I was clothes shopping and nobody ever offered me a seat. But I felt fit and fabulous and the whole body did gain the recommended weight.

Week 30 was the first time a stranger noticed me. I was waiting in line to get a gelato and a little girl whispered to her friend: “look!
There’s a pregnant lady!”. Since then people started noticing.

The whole body gained 11 kg from the beginning to week 29 after which it lost 2kg by week 32! But if you look at the pictures you can see me growing – I was however still the smallest one in my prenatal class.

At the end of week 36 I already started feeling my guest descend. I started feeling my first (painless) contractions in week 37.

I reached 40 weeks and baby girl was still inside! I went into labor on a full moon. The creature I was hosting for 9 months swam out of me clean, beautiful and blissful making me vanish. One week after giving birth the body already lost 7 kg out of the 10 kg it gained during my pregnancy!

After I vanished the brain came up with a book about the whole thing. There are twenty bumps describing their adventures from conception, the great and icky about pregnancy, and the end, which was another beginning. They even named the book after me. It’s called “Bumptabulous”. And it’s a tribute to all bumps and those carrying us.

So Depressed About My Postpartum Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 44 Comments

I got pregnant at 20 years old/ After a string of terrible luck i began working at a bikini bar. I hated every second of it. Hated the way people acted and hated getting judged all day, and treated like a piece of meat. I felt like at the time, i had no choice, the money was good and I had no other way to pay the bills. One night, me and a couple other dancers had gone to the MMA fights. Afterwards we went to one of the fighters houses for the after party. Thats where I met my babys father. He was one of the fighters and it was at his house. i gave him my number and we started hanging out. I eventually moved in with him and we started dating. After being there about 6 months I discovered I was pregnant. This was a huge shock since I had been on birth control and made him use condoms every time, just in case. Well, apparently both failed. I quit the bar when i got pregnant. Things went downhill fast from there. He started using. (or i guess just stopped hiding the fact that he had been all along, he knew I hated any and all drugs and apparently just stopped caring). He would also do other stupid things, like one time leaving me and his 5 year old son home in a blizzard with no heat because he had decided partying all night at the bar was more important than getting propane, so i had to take his son with me to a friends house to stay so he wouldnt freeze. After I found out he was cheating on me I quit trying to make things work. (i hated the idea that my daughter would never know her father, but decided she was better off without someone like that). I moved out, and went back to my parents house. Broke the news to them that I was pregnant, and basically sunk into a depression about how crap my life had turned out. 9 months of feeling awful, sick all the time, anemia, heartburn, etc, I had all the pregnancy problems. Around 3 months I was working again at a Dairy Queen and saving money to buy everything I would be needing. The father texted me maybe twice my entire pregnancy. He couldnt care less what happened to her. Finally at 41w I went into labor. after 23 drug-free hours and a completely natural labor, complete with lots of screaming and crying lol, i delivered my 7lb9oz baby girl.

I did tear so recovery was pretty hard for me. I am now 7 weeks postpartum. I love my daughter but I really miss what could have been/what my life was before. I hate that I didnt actually get to celebrate my 21st birthday or even since then.. I miss going out with friends, even to simple things like movies or dinner. I miss taking a nap because im tired, or falling asleep at night whenever i want and sleeping till im refreshed. I miss having free time, I feel like my freedom is totally over, I have barely lived and lifes over. And i despise my body. I never have had a good face, i guess im wat you would call a butterface. the way i saw it, my body was all i had it better be awesome. While i was dancing i was in the best shape of my life, its an unbelievable workout. But now, my belly is gross and fat with extra skin, my breasts are covered in stretchmarks and look like deflated tube socks ( I think thats the worst part, I could deal with everything else, my belly will tighten more I hope, but my breasts are a lost cause), my butt looks like a tiger grabbed it, and my hips got so big none of my jeans fit anymore. I was 110 when I got pregnant and 135 when I delivered. I am now 112 and nothing fits. Its so depressing, I feel like I am only 21, I do not want to have the body of an old woman. I miss everything about my old life. Even the crappy things. I would never want anything bad to happen to Emma, but I do wish I had had her when I was older, and had gotten to do more before being strapped down for the rest of my life..i know that sounds selfish. I am hoping as time goes on and she starts sleeping through the night and being awake without screaming, and not being attached to my boob 24 hours a day. Which, after 7 weeks of exclusively breast feeding, still hurts. Lactation consultant says shes latching perfect and basically nothings wrong so she cant help. She says “shes just a strong sucker”, so i guess im doomed to pain until I wean her. Anyway, hopefully soon things will smooth out and I wont feel so much like I do now. I just got a new job as a server in a nice restaurant so maybe getting out of the house will be good for me. I know I need the money.

Thanks for reading and for all the inspirational stories and words that you guys post on here. It helps to know Im not alone. I have been reading this site since I got pregnant.

Pictures are
1. pre-baby belly, which I used to complain about back then, now I would kill to have it back…
2. 41 Weeks – this was a couple of days before I went into labor.
3. Pre-pregnancy breasts, terrible picture, but this is the only one I have of them before. They were never big (barely a B, and I used to hate that, but now id do anything to get them back, at least they were perky..
4. Postpartum breasts (nipples are nasty and huge, and boobs are just saggy, deflated, tube sock looking things. I hate them so much. Plus theyre covered in stretch marks, you cant really see them in the pic.) and ruined belly button. So stretched out my navel ring almost falls through, not really sure whats stopping it.
5. When i lift my arms they arent even round they look disgusting.
6. side view
7. my daughter and what I call her “omg” face lol

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 weeks

A Mother’s Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 8 Comments

Previous post here.

21 year old mother of a 1 year old boy

It’s funny what a few months can do to you. I wrote a second entry about my body and the sadness and disappointed that I felt at the fact that I did not lose the weight like everyone had assured me I would, and did not feel confident and sexy as I once did before becoming a mother. 5 months after writing that entry, I’m writing this one.

My son will be turning 1 in just over a week and I’ve realized that I don’t stop and stare at myself after showers, I don’t hide under the covers when my husband and I make love, and I don’t care about changing how I look. I’m finally okay with me, just the way I am.
I was lucky enough to go through such a life change as pregnancy and parenting with someone so accepting and loving. He hasn’t changed a single thing about how he adores and reacts to my body and I can tell he appreciates my body more now for bringing his son into our lives.

I look at my son everyday and wonder how I would have been so sad in the first few months about how I looked, when it was all so worth it. Why was I so focused on something so irrelevant when I had a gorgeous child in front of me, something the doctors said I would never have. I’m not saying accepting the changes of your body is easy, and I perfectly understand that my body could look much different and be much harder to accept, but I think the reason I accepted it was because I stopped judging it. It doesn’t matter how I looked before getting pregnant and when I finally stopped making that comparison I realized that this body I have now may be different, but it’s not unattractive. It’s the body of a mother, and that is a beautiful thing in so many ways.

First photo is just a month before conceiving, in a size 2, Second photo is at 41 weeks pregnant, Third to Sixth photo are of my body as I am now, just a week shy of 1 year postpartum, Seventh photo is the only time I dared to wear a bikini after the birth of my son and the very last photo is my beautiful and healthy little boy, the thing that made it all worth it!

This will be my second and final entry but I will continue to read every submission. I’m so amazed at the strength everyone has just to post the change in their bodies, whether minimal or not. It’s truly played a big part in the acceptance of my body in this journey as a mother! Thank you.

Recovered/ing Anorexic and 36 Weeks Pregnant (May)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I am currently 24 years old and 36 weeks pregnant. I have struggled with self image my whole life, first started making myself sick after eating at age nine and advancing to anorexia around 14 years of age. I have been on the way to eating normally since I was 19 and in my own opinion doing quite well… regarding weight but my mind and feelings on my weight still needs lots of work.

My whole life I have wanted to be pregnant, I think some part of me believed I would love my body totally while pregnant because it would be ‘big’ for a reason other than me being ‘fat’. Since being pregnant I have realized that I may have misjudged my personal strength and also realized that people skip out on telling you many hardships of being pregnant.

Even though I have a wonderful loving partner who encourages me to feel beautiful and often times succeeds I can’t help but be terrified of what my body will look like after giving birth. Another reason I am afraid of my body after birth is because dieting and workouts have always been a struggle for me due to my history of eating disorders… It is very easy for me to get carried away with it and become unhealthy about it all. I have been lucky enough to avoid stretch marks on my belly (fingers crossed) but have gotten some on my breasts. I have also been lucky to have gained only a small amount of weight, going from 155lbs pre pregnancy to 170lbs currently.

So far I have found it very important to actively remove my fear in anyway I can and speaking to other mothers about my fears, of both motherhood and weight. This blog is a wonderful way to hear stories of women who have given life and to see how amazing their bodies and attitudes are, hopefully I can have such an amazing attitude about it all and can share my story later on.

Photo description:
~Me when I first met my partner, at my healthiest weight of 125lbs.
~Me the day after finding out I was pregnant. I had gained around 15lbs since I had first started dating my partner to when we got pregnant (happy weight I guess)
~Me feeling beautiful in my belly at 31 weeks.
~me last week.

Trying to Love Me (Katy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

24 years old
9months pregnant with my first baby
Pictures first 3 are of me 5 weeks away from my due date last one is the day I found out I was pregnant (4weeks along)

Like some of the other stories i’ve read on here, I’ve never thought that I was beautiful. Looking back on my engagement pictures or pictures from high school I see someone different than I saw in the mirror at the time. I weighed about 150 in high school and I felt like I was overweight and ugly, but now I don’t see it the same way at all. My weight has never been what i thought it “should be” and i’ve never appreciated the way my body looks In the moment. I can look back and say, “oh, I didnt look as bad back then, why did i hate my body?!” But then I hypocritically do the exact same thing now, I look at my stretch marks that have completely taken over my body and I see the flab and rolls and I consider how little of the 40 pounds i’ve gained is actually my baby. I am 9 months pregnant now due to have my baby boy on thanksgiving day, i’m So happy and I can’t Wait for him to be in my arms! I currently weigh 240 pounds. I hate saying that number and even typing it makes me cringe. I had creeped up to 207lb’s before I got pregnant and started exercising about a month before I got pregnant and then morning sickness and tiredness took over. Ever since I was about 6 months along I get so many comments from people saying how huge I am. They say it at church every week, as if i’ve forgotten. Another comment I frequently get is “are you sure there aren’t twins/triplets in there?!” That comment not only makes me feel like i’m the fat woman at a circus but it hurts because we did have twins. I was carrying two babies but one of them died at about 9 weeks and then slowly dissolved and just disappeared. When we first found out there were two but the Dr. couldn’t detect a heart beat for the second one he said ” Maybe it will turn out to be fine and we’ll get a heart beat next time!” We asked again for clarification before we left the appointment and he said ” well most likely it will just resolve itself and dissolve.. Its not likely that the baby will live” we prayed and prayed for months that the baby would be alive and well at our next ultrasound. But it wasn’t. It took several months for it to dissolve though, It hurt so much to see that still form and at the same time be happy at the bouncing, kicking, healthy baby. Sometimes I still feel guilty for missing our other baby, since I still have one inside me.. I should just be overjoyed about that one. I tell myself that after the baby comes I’m going to work hard and shed not only the baby weight but the extra weight I needed to lose before I got pregnant! I don’t even have a goal weight right now, its too depressing to think of how much I should lose. I really wish that I could look at myself and see someone beautiful no matter what I weigh! My husband sometimes gets frustrated because he “wishes I could see what he sees” I know that I should appreciate my body. I know that its doing something amazing by making and keeping our baby safe. I know that down the road i’ll look at pictures of me pregnant and probably say ” I didn’t look that bad” But even knowing all of this I truly do Not know how to love me, right now, the way that I am. My body has changed forever because of this pregnancy, I want to let the past go and love my body NOW. Can anyone tell me how?

First Pregnancy (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

I was googling images of pregnancy and how the body changes because I am so horrified at how my body has changed, everything has got stretch marks and gone fat I’ve gained like 3 + stone and I can’t even look down because my belly depresses me so much even though my son inside I know it’s not his fault he’s ruined my body I just don’t think it will ever return to normality as its been stretched too far so I just wanted to share some pictures of my growing belly.. Maybe because like me I didn’t know how pregnancy would change my belly this drastically!

I didn’t plan this pregnancy I was with my partner 2 years and fell pregnant on the pill at 21 and have just recently turned 22.. It was a shock and I was so not prepared.. I’m currently 40 weeks pregnant.

This is just a post so women can see that the perfect pregnancy bump does not exist you will get stretch marks I have tried everything to get rid from baby oil, bio oil, palmers, sudacrem to (embarrassing) pile cream! Nothing will rid them so if you feel bad about your body don’t because everyone who’s had a baby has been through this, i just hope my body goes kind of back to normal.. I hope

Hope is Not Lost (Laura)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months PP

I discovered this site while I was pregnant. I was desperate, searching for answers of what my body would look like after baby. Now, 5 months after delivering a beautiful baby girl, I can say think my obsession was a little silly.

I, like so many others posts that I have read, was an insecure teenager. I was always chunky, from the time I was 10 to the time I was 18. Then I lost a bunch of weight. I was still self-concious, but deep down I thought I looked great. Well, that level of confidence lasted for 3 years: until I got pregnant at 21 years of age.

I started my pregnancy at 155 pounds (I am 5’9″). The week before I delivered, I think I weighed around 225. I say I think I weighed 225 because I had stopped looking at the scale at the doctor’s office. Being weighed while pregnant was never a fun experience! lol. Now, around 5 months after delivery, I weigh 186 pounds. I’m still working towards my goal of 155 pounds, or to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, whichever comes first.

Losing weight has not been easy. Trying to exercise with a newborn in the house? Enough said. But I’ve been doing it. I’ve been watching my calories using an application on my phone and I’ve been working out whenever I have time left over after being a mom, working part-time, and being a full-time college student. I’ve lost 20 pounds since I came home from the hospital and my self-confidence is slowly returning. I feel great! I still do feel insecure at times though since my body is a lot different from most 22 year olds. Whenever that happens I quickly remind myself that I have been fortunate enough to have given life, and that it in itself was no easy task.

The main thing I would like to say to women who have experienced pregnancy is to love your body! And if you find that you just can’t manage to love it, do not settle! Do something about it! Whether it be exercising, or telling yourself every day how beautiful you are, if you are unhappy, then change something.

The following pictures are of me:

Pre-pregnancy
8/9 months pregnant at my baby shower
1 month PP
5 months PP (one front and one side belly. Forgive the broken mirror, I’m a bit clumsy sometimes.. :) )
And finally, my beautiful baby girl

Wanting to Love Something That Is Beautiful (Taylor)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I have never been skinny, my whole life i have watched my mom who has 3 children share clothes with my younger sister when i could never do that. To this day they still do that but now it hurts me more… i am 18 i am 2 months postpartum 25 pounds too heavy and riddled with stretch marks. My mom has no stretch marks and shares clothes with my size 00 14 year old sister who walks around the house complaining about how fat she is. All i can do is look down at my tummy jello and compare myself to her. I have a beautiful daughter and everything my body went through to get to her is well past worth it but i can’t help looking at myself in the mirror and wanting to cry. I was hoping with the way my mom looks i would look ok after having my baby but i wasn’t that lucky. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to accept my body with the way my family looks. I was 17 when i got pregnant, i had just started wrestling and i was almost happy with my body. I had good muscle tone and i liked the size of clothes i wore (3 in jeans… now a size 7). I never thought that the postpartum period would actually be the hardest part of having a baby (body wise). I could accept my weight gain during pregnancy because everyone claimed it was going to get soo much better, that if i breastfed the weight would melt off and of course i would have my beautiful baby at the end. Well i have my adorable baby but where is the body everyone promised me? I feel terrible about not being able to accept it because i did earn it. My boyfriend told me he has never been more attracted to me because of earning all those marks on my body by making our daughter. I just can’t bring myself to feel the same way that he does. I want to love my body but i can’t see how i ever will.

Pictures:
1) pre-pregnancy
2) 32 weeks pregnant (before i really got my stretch marks )
3) my beautiful baby
4) 9 weeks postpartum front
5) 9 weeks postpartum side

I don’t feel pretty anymore. (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age – 21
Pregnancies – 1
Births – Due Dec. 4th, 2012

Hi, I am 25 weeks pregnant. I was 209 pounds before my pregnancy and have gained 21 pounds so far. My BMI indicates that I was MORBIDLY obese before my pregnancy, but that is far from true. I think BMI’s are a joke, honestly.

I have always been between 150-175 and always felt GREAT! I don’t know if it was because I was going through a lot in my life at the time, or because I was just comfortable with my fiance’ (we recently married <3) but I put on some weight in the last couple of years. My husband is very supportive and tells me everyday how beautiful I am. I think my biggest problem is my new stretch marks on my belly. I was hopeful that I wouldn't get any, but of course, lo and behold, they showed up at about 20 weeks. :( I have always had stretch marks on my thighs and sides, but NEVER on my belly, so I always felt comfortable in a 2 piece. Not anymore! I don't feel comfortable in CLOTHES let alone a bathing suit anymore. I just think they are terrible and I cry sometimes when I look at them. I want to feel sexy for my husband. I want to be in shape and I want to look good. I have also had a scare with gestational diabetes and I just did my 3 hour glucose test 3 days ago and we are waiting for the results. I have the worst anxiety about this pregnancy and I try to control it because I want to be strong for my husband and my daughter, but some days it is just so much to handle. I just hope one day I can feel better about myself. :/ Pic 1 - Me at my thinnest Pic 2 - Me at my ideal weight Pic 3 - Me pre-baby Pic 4 - 23 weeks pregnant on my wedding day Pic 5 - 25 weeks prego Pic 6 - 25 week belly :/ [gallery]

Struggling to Accept My Body and Find Time to Work Out (Megan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 28
Baby: 14 weeks, baby girl Rain Lily
First pregnancy and birth

First off I would like to say I am truly blessed to have my beautiful Baby Girl. I have never loved anything or anyone so much. She puts a smile on my face everyday, and I couldn`t imagine my life without her. The day I found out I was pregnant my Fiance and I we over the moon. We had been trying for over a year and felt like it just wasn`t in the cards for us so when we saw that positive pregnancy test it truly was a dream come true.

My pregnancy was okay. During my last few weeks (I delivered at 39 weeks induced) my blood pressure raised and I was retaining alot of water. My feet almost tripled in size! So I was a little uncomfortable but all and all my pregnancy had no complications and I stayed reletively healthy. I did gain 50lbs though! (my baby girl was only 6lbs 8 oz) Pre pregnancy I was 5`8 and 125lbs (size 2) on the day of my delivery I was 175lbs!

I am now 14 weeks Post partum and loving every day of being a mother. It truly is an incredible feeling to have such a bond with such an amazing little being. But I am struggling with my own self image. I hate looking in the mirror I feel flabby and fat. I am now at 140lbs 15lbs off my prepregnancy. I am wearing a size 6 now so a bit far off of my prepregnancy size 2. My Fiance assures me that he still finds me sexy and likes my post pregnancy body but when I look in the mirror I don`t see anything I like. I walk twice a day for an hour each time, but other than that I am finding it hard to work out. I try to do yoga at least twice a week but my sweet baby girl just isn`t the greatest napper and I really am not good at leaving her with anyone either. My fiance works out of town for 3-4 weeks at a time so I am mostly on my own. My mom has offered to babysit for an hour while I go to the gym but I just get this anxiety (nothing against my mom) about leaving her….. I just want her in my sight all the time. But I also feel like I will never get my body back if I dont start something now! I am exclusively breastfeeding as well so that makes it harder to leave her as well. I am just concerned that I will never feel sexy again. I am truly greatful for this site because it shows me that I am not alone in my feelings and with all these great post pregnancy pictures it gives me faith that I will be able to have some what of my old body back.

I have attached 2 pics of me pre pregnancy about a month before I conceieved
A pic of me at 38 weeks pregnant
And 2 pics of me at 14 weeks post partum
And 2 pic of my gorgeous baby Rain Lily and one of us both

Any feed back on what work outs work while staying at home with the little one and maybe some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

I have so much love and respect for all the wonderful Moms out there!