Well I am a 20 year old mother of two beautiful baby girls. I got pregnant at 17 with my first and had her 4 months after I turned 18. I had my second beautiful baby girl in May 2012. The father of both my children, recently decided he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I am truly crushed inside after being with him for almost 4 years and two kids later he decides to just up and split. He never really was around that much anyways he always was with friends partying, or hitch hiking to other states and so I already in a sense was a single mother. He cheated on me as well quite a few times claimed it was cause he thought we were going to be over so why not I guess…..anyways I see it as a blessing in a sense and I know God has a plan for my life and my children but it still hurts so bad. Now I am focused on going to back to college to get a degree and be able to support my girls and give them a good life. I am also trying to focus on the areas of myself that need to be changed, attitudes etc so that when I meet the correct man for me I will be a loving wife. However my body depresses me SO MUCH! I have stretch marks everywhere, no joke, my belly, butt, behind my legs, inner and outter thighs, boobs and even my upper arms!!!! What the heck right? Anyways I get really down thinking about it sometimes like I will never find a man who will want to be with me because I have two kids already and my body just sucks not to mention the lose skin on my tummy. I get really sad about it there are good days and bad days, I just want to feel good about myself. I eat correctly for the most part with occasional slip ups. I breast fed my 1st daughter and am still breast feeding my second and I have worked out hard since 2 months pp and lost a lot of weight and toned up quite a bit too, but it seems like stretch marks just keep popping up everywhere ugh…. and they are deep too. Anyways enough whining lol I also realize that God has blessed me with not one but two healthy, gorgeous girls and that we have a roof over our heads and food to eat, clothes to wear and even stuff to have fun with, toys, books, tv, computer etc….where as many other people do not have these luxuries or are not able to conceive so I thank him every day and hopefully one day I can make peace with my body, and hopefully any other mother feeling the same way as myself will too. God bless.
Number of Pregnancies:3 Births:2
Age of Children: DD1 is 26 months old, DD2 is 6 months old
Photos: These are all photos of me 6 months pp I couldn’t get any full body views but there is the right side, left side and front side of my tummy.
8 thoughts on “Trying to get past my body and realize my blessings! (Anonymous)”
You go girl!! I love your attitude, you sound so mature, and looks like you have the right goals for yourself and your precious daughters. And you look fantastic, I wish I was that toned. Your tummy stretchmarks look just like mine, except mine are more faded. As for the boyfriend… sounds like he can’t be trusted to stay faithful. As you said maybe it is a blessing that he wants to split up. God bless, you and your daughters deserve the best.
I personally think you look fantastic! I’m 21 and 36 weeks pregnant with my first. I came to have a look on this site to get an idea of what to expect my body to look like afterwards. Honestly, if I look as good as you do after ONE baby I’ll be really happy. :)
It sounds as though you are so much better off without the father of your children in your life. What a poor excuse for cheating too. It sounds as though he was just playing on your insecurities and seeing how much he could get away with – knowing that you’d continue to try and make things work because of the kids, and the fear that nobody else would want you. Well, to hell with him! You’ve got the right idea now. Focus on yourself and your kids. You will date again and have a lot more fun than you would have had staying in your last relationship. My sister had two lovely children in her early 20’s to a man she’s no longer with, now she is 27, and got married earlier in the year and just had another baby last month! Don’t give up hope. Just enjoy your wonderful children and take it as it comes. :) Wish you all the best. x
This is absolutely not a joke, or to make you feel better or whatever, but if I saw you at the gym…dressed like that…this is what would be running through my head:
“Lucky skinny bitch! Why can’t I look like that?”
There is literally no exaggeration in that!
You look fan-fucking-tastic!, seriously! Even at my lightest, I don’t think I looked like that (you lucky skinny bitch! ;-) lol!)
Also, I’d say don’t look for a man; you don’t need a man to complete you! You just need your life to be the best for you and your kids!
The advice I always give people who say they keep looking for love is this:
Instead of looking for a man to make you happy, or whatever…you make yourself happy with your life…someone will see this as an outsider, and WANT to be a part of YOUR life! They will want to be a part of what YOU have going on, because it’s just that fantastic!
If you are happy with you, only then can you truly allow someone else to be happy WITH you!
You are so young! You have so much time! I wish to god I was 20 again (I’ll be 30 next month.) All this advice I’ve given is stuff I’ve learned over the years, and if I had only known it when I was your age, I wouldn’t have gone through all the pain that I did :-/
Best of luck to you, I really hope everything works out! :-)
You are beautiful inside and out. Good for you focusing on your beautiful girls and trying to do what is best for them. You will find love again when the time is the right… Probably in the place you least expect it. I was 205 at 23 with a 10 month old single mom who had just started to except my body and come out of the haze of post pardon depression. When I wasn’t looking my fiance came into my life loves my daughter as his own and were 34 weeks pregnant with number two. Things do get better mama. You’ve got a positive attitude and just keep working on you and yours… Things will naturally fall into place.
I know it’s hard for you to believe but your body is beautiful. I honestly see nothing wrong with your body after 2 kids, but have felt exactly the same as you so know that it’s a very horrible way to feel about yourself. I myself ha’ve lose skin and stretchmarks (my pics are on here) and with exercise and diet changes my body had improved. I only just started about 8 weeks ago and I can already see the difference. I was also a single mum and had exactly the same thoughts about finding someone knew, but I now have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me just the way I am. I think men are far less critical of our bodies then we are. when the times right you”ll find someone new. Good luck with college and I hope one day you can view your body as beautiful.
Thank you guys so much, I am realizing my body will never be the same but I do not need to lose my confidence. Thank you for all the support and comments!
You are right, God has a plan for you. Keep putting your trust in Him. Your attitude is amazing. It’s hard to always stay positive, but I think you look unbelievably great. Thanksfor sharing your story.
U look AMAZING for having had two living beings grow inside your body! Good job for bfeeding, it does help! And great outlook. You be the best mom you can be, those babies will never forget it! Fitness is important to you, but beauty is grown from within. Sounds like you have a beautiful spirit. God has a plan and a destiny for your life and for each of your girls’ lives. He wants to give you hope and a future! Keep up the workouts, eat the best you can, love yourself no matter what, forgive yourself for being imperfect. And GOOD JOB! Be proud of yourself.