Age 24; Pregnancies 2; Births 1; 8 months post partum
There are too many days I wake up to my 8 month old daughter talking to herself in her pack and play at 5 am. When I look in, she sees me and her face lights up with joy; I can’t help but pick her up, put her in my husband and my bed, and pray for just 30 minutes more sleep. What I get, rather, is my hair pulled and kicked in the tummy. Between my daughter, our two dogs, my husband and me, our queen sized bed fills up pretty quickly. I roll out of our bed, pick her up, and we start our day. The days I don’t have to work, I immediately get thrown into a whorl-wind adventure of dirty diapers, sweet potato and peas, and of course chasing our golden retriever around, attempting to get the socks he has stock piled somewhere in our tiny apartment. Those days, I’m lucky to get a shower, let alone put make up on. On the days I work, I quickly get the two of us ready, and shuffle off to drop her off at her babysitters before I rush off to work, hoping to get coffee so I can stay awake throughout the day. Every day I wish I could sleep in until 12, take a 30 minute shower, put make up on and do my hair (in other than a pony tail that looks like I didn’t brush it), but those days are long gone. But would I change it? Absolutely not, because my daughter’s smile brings me more joy than not looking like I’ve just rolled out of bed ever has. Am I embarrassed of how I look: every day? Thank goodness my body bounced back pretty quickly (minus my breasts, which now hang somewhere by my belly button), or I think I may be completely devastated.
My lack of fashion isn’t the only area of my life to be drastically different. The complete aloneness I feel from the people I used to call friends is becoming more and more apparent to me. Being a mother and a young adult sometimes do conflict, but I wasn’t aware that also included the people who were once around me. I suppose our priorities do differ drastically, but I never imagined that people I were so close to would have never met my daughter in her 8 months of life. Hopefully there will be a day when that changes, but until then, my husband has always been my best friend anyways. Thank the universe for him.
So I’ll go home this evening, fix my daughter her favorite meal of spinach, apples, rutabagas and cereal, feed it to her while I’m in my pajamas, and go to bed at an early 8 pm. I’ll wonder if there’s ever going to be a time again when I have time to look decent when going out, or if I’ll ever have a best friend to call my own, knowing both are probably not going to happen any time soon. I’ll kiss my gorgeous daughter goodnight, put her favorite pink hippo in her arms, and tuck her in. Fight with the dogs for space on my growing smaller by the minute bed, and get ready to take it all on again tomorrow.
Very cute story. I feel the same as you most days. My daughter is only a month younger than yours but I’m 17. I already graduated high school and I take college courses online AND my friends and I were always troublemakers in high school so I have virtually no one now. Most of my friends that have met my daughter weren’t interested in playing with or holding her.
And be thankful for your job. I don’t have the money to pay a babysitter. I actually got hired somewhere and had to quit before I even got through training because my mom and boyfriend were calling me nonstop over my daughter.
I know it’s hard having your life change so drastically, but you are not alone. :). And are kids are more than worth it.
What a beautiful way to see your daily life. The isolation of being a mom can be difficult. I’ve made some acquaintance friends going on walks with other moms who have babies. Good luck with it all
You sound like you have a lovely relationship with your baby. You need to find some baby groups or Mum’s coffee meets as it can be very lonely with a little one. It’s difficult accepting that you lose touch with friends when you have a baby but you will find there are other Mum’s near you in the same situation and with shared experiences.
Congratulations, your a good mom! You spend day in and day out taking care of your precious baby and devoting your life to her. You sound wonderful, and its hard to manage time and energy when you have a young (mobile) child. It will get easier, you will get more time to yourself when she becomes more independent.
I have two toddlers (2 and 4) and I just got back to having “me” time in the last month or two because my youngest is finally old enough to be trusted to play without me watching his every move. Maybe you could kick the dogs out of the bed and have your hubby watch the baby for 30 minutes a day so you can have some time to yourself. Playdates are also a great way to feel more comfortable, you can be with your child while having grown up talk :)
Keep your head up, you will never look back on this time and think, “jee, I wish I spent more time doing my makeup.” You will be happy to claim those messy hectic years with your baby!
No make up, ponytail that looks like I didn’t brush it, lack of fashion, and losing friends being a young mother. Yep, I’d say we’re pretty much on the same page. Right now I’m stay at home with my daughter, and have been for awhile. Almost 2 years now. I’m looking forward to returning to work because that commute, and down time during work will be the only time I get to myself. Not that I don’t totally love being around my daughter 24/7, but that need to interact with other adults has been bugging me.
I love this. It makes my heart smile.