I’m Paula and i want to thank you all for this website. It has been such a good thing to me knowing i’m not alone. I thought i was the only one to have so many stretchmarks. I got pregnant for first time when i was 16. The baby died in my uterus before i even knew i was pregnant. I had a surgery to take her out. It was so hard. I’ll never forget the pain of loosing her. I say her because in my inside i know it was a girl. I feel guilty because when i found out i was pregnant i was in shock and i have considered abortion. When i made my mind to have my baby i found out she was dead at least a month ago. My, then, boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion and was pressing me to do it. He said if it was his brother he would force me to do it. I was the only one who cried for my baby girl. For him it was a relief. I hated him so much. When doctors told me my baby was dead i run like a crazy, i locked myself in bathroom and cried for so long that i don’t even remember how much time. A nurse tried to calm me and said i was so young and had many time to have other babies, but i lost my baby, that baby, no other baby will replace her, never. Later, 8 months later i married my, then, boyfriend, after 3 months i got pregnant with my son, the love of my life. It wasn’t planned but it was the best thing in my life. Once again my, then, husband, didn’t want the baby. This time i didn’t even had doubts, i wanted to have my baby. And my, then, husband started to abuse me physical and worst off all, emotionally. He used my son to hurt me. Noone on my family was alowed to speak to my son or touch him, hold him and so on. It was a living hell. My son is now a very sad teenager, 14 years old, don’t talk to much and doesn’t like to be in social events. He’s always reading, in computer or sleeping. I love him so much, he’s my life, my world, i don’t even have words to describe how much i love him. Now i’m 32 years old, i’m divorced, my husband left me 1 year ago after 14 years of marriage. I was betraied, and he left me in such a way that i find myself thinking he never, ever, loved me. He said he didn’t love me anymore when we were having lunch, and in the presence of my son. Things weren’t well for a while, or never was. What’s worse it’s to be left like garbage, like i have no value whatsoever. He never thought about our family, our son. He said he didn’t want any responsabilities. Motherwood was hard on me. I had a very good pregnancy but i was letf with many scars. I have 3 stretchmarks on my belly but i have hundreds of them on my sides, tights inner and tons on outsides, my breast are covered with them, and have a lot on my calves. I’m honest, i don’t see in here anyone who has so many and so bad stretch marks has i have, even though i don’t have them in my belly. I’m so depressed, so depressed. I take bath with no light, just a light far way because i can’t stand to watch at my body, and so many time has passed. I also have a horrible scar in my left arm. When i was little i had a domestic accident, i burned my harm, i have done 4 operations and it’s still horrible. And after having my son i started losing my hair. And never got it back, it’s worse and worse. And i have varicose veins from my pregnancy also. So many issues. I don’t see anyone who has stretch marks in outer front part of tights, i see many of you who has them in belly but i have them in my sides an A LOT OF THEM on my tights. I feel i was tired apart by a tiger. I used a cream on my belly but none on sides and tights. I gained 30 kgs in 3 months, the first 4 i was almost always nauseated. I’m so sorry that i gained so much weight. Now i’m depressed, i just want to die, and hate myself.