20 yrs old
39 weeks and 6 days pregnant
I have been looking at this site for a few months now, and I am so thankful for it. I keep seeing these women who look like models (probably because they are models), celebrities, or just everyday women who don’t have physical changes from pregnancy and walk out of the hospital practically uncased. When I came to this site I saw real women go through real pregnancies and have real postpartum changes and recoveries. These women admit their fears and self-consciousness.
In many of the stories I have read (and commented on), I have discovered that I am not the only one who might not feel comfortable in maternity lingerie. Many women say that they do not like their changing bodies and will not even take their clothes off without the lights shut off. They are afraid that their significant other finds them repulsive and can’t understand how they could possibly be found attractive, beautiful, or sexy. I am one of those women sometimes. I was very lucky that I did not have ANY stretch marks… until a week ago. Out of nowhere they just turned up around my belly button and sprouted limbs. They are growing every day now! Bad ones, too. I’ve also had PUPP for a while now, and I am extremely uncomfortable (and ashamed at times) of my “fat packs” that I have accumulated.
I have been afraid of what my husband thinks of my pregnant body, and even more afraid of what he will think of my pp body. Today was the first day that he saw my stretch marks. I had unconsciously lifted up my shirt while sitting on the couch (in between laundry cycles… nesting?) to check on my marks. I didn’t even think about the fact that my husband was sitting right beside me until he said “Are those your stretch marks?”. (He had heard me complaining about them to my mom a few days ago.) I felt so stupid and embarrassed for carelessly exposing my belly and thoughts were going through my mind about what he could possibly be thinking. Then he touched them lovingly, said “Aw baby, those aren’t bad at all,” and kissed them lovingly. It was almost like he understood completely what they meant. That they were just as much a production of our love as out little girl growing inside me. I almost cried. Especially since I had been so cranky the past couple of days. Then he just turned back to what he was watching like nothing special had occurred.
I just wanted to write this for women like me who can’t understand that they are beautiful and that their partners still have the same feeling if not stronger. We were married young and I became pregnant very early on at a very hectic time for us. I have been a bit mournful over my 20 yr old body already changed forever. But our little girl (due TOMORROW) and things like that make it all worth the loss.