Before I had children, I had no idea. I traveled, lived on the fly and never stayed in one place for more than a month. I never knew what my life was missing until there were two lines on the pregnancy test instead of one. I was 24, apprenticing with an herbal healer and in Massage school. My world was flipped and I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror, pushing my belly out as far as I could to see what I would look like when I was big pregnant. I have to admit that the image I had in my head was very different than what I actually looked like. I gained 90 lbs with my first, then 4 1/2 years later I became pregnant again. I gained 65 lbs with him, then when he was 5 months old I became pregnant again. I gained 45 lbs with my daughter. My body didn’t have the chance to recover from my second pregnancy when I conceived my third child. So yes, I am flabby and squishy and round and I love being the pillow that my children curl into. I love being soft and comforting, physically and emotionally. I love the body my children gave me.