I had my first daughter at 19. I had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy and a beautiful natural birth. I carried small, and my body returned to normal very soon after Anna was born. At the time I thought it was so different, and struggled for a short time to come to terms with those changes. I now realise of course that those changes were SO miniscule and I wish I had appreciated the body that I had before my second pregnancy far more than I did. I loved it for providing me with my child, but struggled to come to terms with the physical changes and didn’t appreciate how good I looked for having had a baby. I made a submission here after Anna’s birth. As Anna approached 1 year old, we decided to try for our second child as we wanted a close age gap and I want to go to university and work on a career, but not before I have my family. I did not want to wait 4 years to get my degree and however long it took to find employment in my chosen work area and however long it would take to fall pregnant… at that rate our little girl would be 6 or 7 by the time she had a brother or sister, and that was just too long for us.
We tried for our second pregnancy for 6 months before we fell, and sadly we lost that pregnancy. We were lucky to fall again the next month, and when I started bleeding heavily at 7 weeks I was so sure we had lost another pregnancy, however when we were scanned at the EPU at 8 weeks gestation, we were given the wonderful, incredible news – There was not a heartbeat, but there were two! – We were expecting TWINS! I got really big with the twins, it was nothing like what I experienced with Anna, and began to dread how I would look after the birth – expecting the worst.
I had a hard time of the pregnancy. I went into preterm labour at 31 weeks when my waters broke, but they were able to stop the labour and I went on to 34 weeks 5 days before they induced me due to the risk of infection from my ruptured membranes and suspected IUGR of twin 2. I had a traumatic birth where, after I had reached 10cm all by myself with no pain relief, the doctors and midwives took control and interfered in my birth in ways that confused and terrified me. I felt scared and violated – suddenly the contractions were unbearably painful and I struggled to push my babies out as I was forced to lay on a table with my arms strapped down and my legs in stirrups. I successfully gave birth to “twin 1” who we called Sophie-Rose. It angers me in hindsight that I had to ask for my arms to be unstrapped before I could hold my baby. After she was born the midwives pushed on my tummy to try to encourage “twin 2” to come down. This also angers me as I soon started to haemorrhage, and my placenta detached before my second daughter was born, which I fully believe was as a direct result from this pushing and prodding on my uterus from the outside. Because of this, I had to have a caesarean for my second daughter’s birth. I was knocked out with a general anaesthetic and my daughter was cut from my body. I didn’t get to see her for some hours until I had come around from the GA. We called our beautiful, tiny, “twin 2”, Grace.
My caesarean scar is a constant reminder of how wrong that birth was, and I feel like I let Grace down that she didn’t benefit from natural birth and have a cuddle straight after birth like both of her sisters did. The other marks on my body make me proud, though. My body has changed a lot more than it did with my first pregnancy and birth – my tummy is covered in stretchmarks and I have a slight overhang above my caesarean scar, but these are all reminders to me that I carried, nurtured and loved my babies with everything I had in me, for almost 8 months. I feel like a true mother, and my “mummy tummy” is a badge of honour – It speaks to the world and to all who see it, and it says, “this is more than a woman – this is a MOTHER.” It tells the story of the amazing journey that I have been through of pregnancy and birth, and of carrying three babies through two pregnancies. There is no achievement greater than that, and I am so proud.
My baby girls are so perfect, all three of them. I breastfed Anna for 16 months until she stopped asking for it, and I am planning on breastfeeding the twins until they decide it is time as well :-) I’m so grateful to the universe that no matter how they arrived here on earth, I have been blessed with three amazing, beautiful little girls and that makes me one of the luckiest people in existence.
I only wanted and planned on having two children (I got a bonus baby!) but after this birth experience… Initially I was so sure I would never want any more children ever again – not just because we had had all the pregnancies we had planned for, but because I had been so traumatised that I didn’t think I COULD do it again. But now, part of me yearns to have a fourth baby some time (not any time soon!), just to prove to myself what can be done. Not that it will right the wrongs of the birth that I experienced with the twins, but it would heal some of the hurt I have been left with after that birth, if I could do it again and do it RIGHT. I still yearn for that last perfect birth that I feel was taken from me in the theatre room where I birthed my last two children. Part of me feels it would be helpful and healing to do it again before I’m done, maybe after my degree is complete and I have been working for a few years, so when the girls are 7 or 8… I’d have to convince my husband on that one, though – as he is as offput as I was after the whole ordeal that I don’t think he’d be willing to risk me going through it all again :-(
The attached photos are:
1 – 28 weeks bump photo
2 – One month postpartum side on
3 – One month postpartum other side
4 – One month post partum face on
5 – One month post partum tummy only
6 – Caesarean scar
~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 natural births and 1 caesarean birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Anna is aged 22 months, and Sophie-Rose and Grace are 1 month old (so 1 month post partum)
You look great! Your stomach is so flat at one month!
OMG! You are way too hard on yourself. I couldn’t imagine taking pictures of myself at one month postpartum. You have to give yourself time. Time for the marks to fade, and the tummy to tighten. At one month pp, I was stll about 16 lbs over my ppw. For having twins, and only being one month postpartum, I think you look fantastic!!! Time will help, just give yourself time!
Strong Mama!! Your twins’ birth story brought me to tears, how could they do that to you?? To me, the way that hospital handled your births was repulsive and shocking. I am so proud of you for making it through, and congratulations on your sweet little girls! Kudos for BFing too!
And btw, I think you look AWESOME for one month pp after what you’ve been through girl! You already look very slender and those stretchies will fade nicely. Good luck!
holy moly! this is you 1 month pp with twins, and a cesarean!!!! you look incredible! I look worse than that 10 months pp with 2 cesareans…i am sorry about your traumatic birth experience…but don’t let it stop you from having more babies if you want more. don’t let anything stop you from doing what you want…get a new doctor, explain what happened, and what you want/don’t want from them :) for now, enjoy the 3 awesome kids you have now, and that incredible body!
I just wanted to thank you for your story! I’m also a mother to twins, they will be three in May, I gave birth to my first son vaginally and had to have an emergency c-section with my second son!Its amazing how often that happens!I think you look great!Good job mama!
You look AMAZING! I honestly would never guess you had more than one baby, let alone one baby + twins!
I can’t find words to tell you how great you look for such a short time after giving birth. I honestly would have aspired to have such a flat tummy 4wks postpartum with my daughter, and she was a singleton AND a first baby :)
I’m sorry to hear that you had a negative birth experience with your twins ((hug)). Wish your little family all the best with the future :)
Well gosh.
I thought i was the only one in existence who got stretch marks on top of my pubic bone!
I’m nearly 9 mo. PP and you look much better than i!
I also had twins but thankfully both of them were born naturally. I have stretch marks all over my stomach (from the pubic bone to my ribs) and a a small bulge that is hanging like an empty balloon. My girls are almost two now so I have improved as much as I could. You look great and once those stretchmarks get less red you will hardly notice them.
When I was recovering after pregnancy I was using Mustella creams to help with my stretchmarks. I think it helped some. I was also doing Pilates and Yoga from the first days to help me get back in shape fast and to get rid of the diastasis.
Have you considered a home birth? I had my two children at home with a midwife and it was wonderfull. I never felt like someone else was controling my experiance, most home birth midwifes understand that YOU are giving birth to a baby not them! If at home is not an option, I have heard birthing centers are great as well.
I would love a home birth to be honest! I don’t think anything will EVER get me back into hospital to birth!
Even if I get twins again in the future, I think it’s going to have to be a home birth. I can just imagine the consultant’s look of horror if I were to say I was going to have twins as a VBAC AND I was going to have them at home!! lol
Natasha, there is a woman who posted an entry on here quite awhile back who had a successful (I am pretty sure) homebirth with triplets. :)
Wonderful figure hon, you’re looking amazing, especially for 1 month PP! I’m sorry it didn’t all go to plan but your daughters are so beautiful. Congratulations.
xxx
I stumbled onto this site and this is the only ‘blog’ I have read.
I do not have children yet, but want to be prepared if I am lucky enough to have children.
I am so grateful for your bravery in sharing your experience and photos. You should be proud of yourself.
I am so sorry for the experience you had. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. But thanks to you, readers like myself will be more well equipped with knowledge for our experiences.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
My daughter Makena was 20 months when I gave birth to twin girls, Katie Belle and Kylie Grace. The twins came at 32 weeks. My dr. was able to help me deliver both twins vaginally, but he thought Baby B might have to be taken C Section at first due to her feet being over her head. He finally got her feet out of the way and her head pulled down. He reached inside to pull her out. Since they were early and had to stay in NICU for a month…it was not my dream birth like my first baby either. I would also like to try for one more baby, but my husband thinks we should quit while we are ahead. I gained 21 pounds with my first and 25 pounds with the twins, so no stretch marks. My breasts are really saggy though because they got huge (beyond an “F”). I plan to have a lift. I worry if I have a third pregnany that things won’t go back like they did this time.