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Learning to Love My Body After My First Child (Anonymous)

I am so thankful to have been shown this site. I knew my body would change after having my first child, but I had no idea how much! I do not have many friends and am a stay-at-home mom, so I really had no one to discuss my worries with other than my family. My sister directed me to this site and told me how it helped her out. Now, I finally have the courage to share my story. I am about to turn thirty this month and had always dreamed of having children before I turned thirty. So, even though my marriage has definitely had problems, I decided that it was time. I was 118 lbs. when I got married in 2003, but was up to 155 lbs. when I got pregnant. When I went in the hospital to be induced, I was 210 lbs. That is a lot of weight on a 5′ frame. In the end, it was all worth it because I now have a beautiful baby boy. I have always had a muscular physique and am definitely eager to get back in shape. I had no idea how much energy that breastfeeding and taking care of a baby takes out of you, though. My son is now six months old and I am struggling to get back in shape after a c-section. I am down to 185 lbs now. I have definitely become less vain. No more $200 trips to the salon and dressing up to run to the store. Hell, I am lucky to get a shower! My husband hasn’t touched me since I conceived my son, so it is hard to look at my body and see myself as sexy, but I am trying. I just take it day by day.





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16 comments… add one
  • Helen Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:13 am

    Like you said, even though it’s hard, don’t attribute your problems with your husband to your body- it’s not that! Your body is curvy and delicious and any man would be lucky to be near you! Try to seek out other moms in your area so you have someone to talk with- friends aren’t something we can live without. Good luck to you, Mama!

  • michele Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 11:54 am

    you are beautiful! my body looks just like yours only my belly is bigger. my stomache muscles have stretched so far out that they can never go back so i live my life looking 6 months pregnant all the time! i too fight with these feeling, luckily i do have a loving husband who loves me no matter what…you should too!
    just “be” life is way too short to sweat the small stuff.

    peave to you~
    michele

  • Milk Mama Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 12:18 pm

    You look great! I’m glad to hear your positive attitude, although I’m sure you aren’t always that positive… we moms never are lol. I’ve been breastfeeding my daughter for 18 months now. I know what you mean about taking care of your child and breastfeeding. I still haven’t exercised. Walks alone drain me.

  • John Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 2:49 pm

    Your husband is a fool. You are a beautiful women who brought his son into this world, and he should thank you for it daily and tell you every morning how beautiful you are.

  • lottie Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 6:47 pm

    you look great. your stomach is so beautifully defined, especially in the top photo. hang in there. i’m sorry to hear about your husband. i wish you the best of luck. congrats on your baby boy.

  • rachel Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 8:23 pm

    Oh, I think your post-pregnancy body is sooo sexy!

    How are your boobs so perky???

    Not fair.

  • Abby Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 10:36 pm

    you look so good! all soft and cuddly, deffinitley someone to snuggle with.

    and your baby is still soooo young. you have a lot of time to lose the weight and turn back into that sexy lady.

    for now, be a momma. it doesn’t last forever. :)

  • Stephanie Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 9:01 am

    I think you look great!

  • Renée Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 5:27 pm

    What a foolish husband you have! Or maybe he’s just intimidated by your curvaceous and lucious new body? ;)

    You’re beautiful – truly. Give yourself at least a year to start feeling normal again. And talk with your husband about wanting to feel sexy again -I’m sure he’d be interested in helping you.

  • Helen Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 6:49 pm

    Not to dismiss in any way the support from us women, but I love that a man chimed in here, too! Thanks, John! You tell it- she’s beautiful and so are all the other ladies on here! I think most men like a little something to hold on to- WE think we should be much skinnier than men do! That is something that it’s taken me a while to learn, but it’s true, and self-esteem building!

  • chris Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:17 pm

    like those before me have said, “You Look Great!” Keep up the positive vibe and spoil yourself once in a while with a trip to the salon. You are a mom and have earned it!

    Take it slow in the recovery of your C-section if you need to. My wife took awhile to heal after hers for our son. It was well worth it. Her scar has faded, but my love, admiration, and amazment for her has not.

    Lastly breast feeding is very rewarding for the whole family is our point of view. So your work will pay off in the future.

    Take care.

    c

  • Tom T. Friday, June 6, 2008, 6:28 pm

    You are truly beatuiful, you really, truely are. Your husband will come around once he appreciates your natural beauty. Thanks for sharing.

  • Kristen Monday, June 9, 2008, 1:44 am

    Your curves are absolutely beautiful!!

  • ahipmama Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 8:46 pm

    you have a gorgeous curvacious womanly body and deserve to be touched!!… i know that can’t be easy. i hope you get that worked out. best wishes to you and yours.

  • Someone Friday, September 7, 2012, 6:30 am

    I know this is 4 years old now and your son is prob. in school now! lol.

    Your husband is a selfish prick! >:-O You can tell him I said that too! That’s of course if you haven’t left him yet, but i hope you did! (or he got his head out of his ass to notice what a beautiful woman and son he’s got, but I’m more inclined to think not)

    -You said your marriage was rocky before you got pg, I’m wondering if you somehow expected it to change because of the baby. That is the #1 misconception women have about men and relationships.

    -I myself was in a crappy relationship for 3 years when I got pg. It was my own false sense of security that got me pg. I KNEW having our child wouldn’t change how he (or I) felt and it didn’t. It got worse. He blamed me 100% for getting pg (hahahaha) saying I trapped him. lol. Yah ok. My neighbor got pg w/ a married man thinking he would leave his wife and he didn’t why would I be dumb enough to do the same thing?

    -Anyway–enough of that. I am 5’1″ and was 128 when I met my ex at 28. Three yrs later I got pg at 150 and gained 32 lbs. I lost 10 immediately when in the next 6 months gained it back because I wasn’t working FT. I was 180 for EIGHT YEARS (pure laziness on my part) and I FINALLY had enough of looking the way I was and lost 30 lbs last year– my baby weight. Today is my son’s 10th birthday. My ex and I stayed together (w/ bungee cords) for the next 7-1/2 years. My own stupidity, but that’s for another post.

    -If you think your marriage is still rocky, ignore everything you think about your surviving on your own AND GET OUT NOW. (if you haven’t already). I stalled for 7 years thinking I couldn’t live on my income w/ a child and screwed up 7 years of my son’s life (being in a dysfunctional relationship). I have worked 2 jobs since I’m 21 and until I was 32weeks pregnant. I worked 55 hrs/week (my FT [and still current] job) until the day before he was born. (Left work at 5:30pm on Friday, my son was born 11:57am the next morning). My main thought was how I was going to work between school hours/holiday/summer vaca? Well, the loser I was with finally ended it because *I* learned his stupid passive-aggressive game and was giving it back to him. I thank him every day because if it weren’t for him I’d still be in that crappy relationship (or lack there-of), poisoning my son even further. (I’m not perfect for staying either). As it is, his father ISN’T EVEN COMING TO HIS OWN SON’S B-DAY PARTY!!! (and two years ago he left before my son blew out the candles on his cake!)

    -Just saying that I hope you left or your son’s father (sperm donor?) grew up and I hope that you can throw out everything you think about living on your own. It’s way easier than you think it is! [[[hugs]]]

  • Marie Sunday, January 13, 2013, 3:16 pm

    Girl! there is nothing to be ashamed of about your post pregnancy body! You said your thirty? Let me just tell you, your boobs look better post baby at your age than mine did pre baby and i am 23! I can only hope i look this good after having my son! That, and you look to have made it through pregnancy without very many belly strech marks if any at all! You look great and don’t let anyone else tell you different!

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