It’s a long, windy road (Anonymous)

Every woman has a different path to travel in regards to her femininity, to motherhood, to sexuality, to grace, and to being in a state of harmony with her body. I feel like I’ve had an easier time than many, but still have struggled much more than I ever would wish upon anyone. I feel as though I had no idea what a great body I had before I got pregnant. It’s been very difficult for me to look at pre-pregnancy photos. I’ve often associated self-worth with sexuality and attractiveness, so feeling beautiful and worthy postpartum has been pretty hard. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything, but it’s been lonely. I feel horrible for being so vain when my daughter is so beautiful, so light, so absolutely magical in every way. She’s now nearly 7 months old and my body is never going to be the way it was before, but the extra pounds have left steadily through breastfeeding and a decent diet. No real exercise (yet). I don’t mind the stretchmarks at all, but the extra skin troubles me. My pelvic structure is forever different, and that’s okay too. I just want to be toned again. My fiance is a goodhearted person, and he loves me deeply, but his entrenched beliefs about beauty and sexual attractiveness haven’t helped me love myself unconditionally. He’s never been critical, he only criticizes others who are overweight or out of shape. How can I not translate that to myself? Don’t misunderstand, though, I don’t hold him responsible for how I feel about my body. It’s a strange path, this being female thing. I don’t think I’ve ever quite gotten the hang of it. I feel so close to every woman who’s posted on this website. I think it’s the best idea I’ve seen in a LONG time. Thank you.

7 thoughts on “It’s a long, windy road (Anonymous)

  • Friday, January 25, 2008 at 12:23 am

    Your belly is pretty flat, but the thing that I thought immediately is that you have a nice toned butt and a nice pair of legs! You’re lucky. I think that’s the only place I gained weight… I have jelly butt and jelly legs lol. :D I can imagine how you translate what your hubby says about other women. It’s easy. Try to ignore those comments and love yourself for your daughter so she grows to know what true femininity and womanhood is about. :) You are a truly beautiful WOMAN.

  • Saturday, January 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Your body is amazingly sexy – toned legs, nice bum, gorgeous breasts, and a beautiful, womanly stomach. I don’t see any “extra skin.” You’re beautiful!

  • Friday, February 1, 2008 at 8:13 am

    I think you look stunning! amazing. Id kill for your legs! grr!

  • Monday, February 4, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    you are courageous as well as beautiful!

  • Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 10:50 am

    You look great, mama!! Thanks for sharing. So many of us women feel that our self worth has to do with our bodies and attractiveness. This society pushes that pressure upon us. WE are all beautiful no matter what, even though we don’t look like those models in magazines.

  • Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    You are very beautiful.
    Believe me, it’s hard to think of your body pre- kids. I went from a C cup to an A- talk about extra skin!
    But the most important thing is that you are a mother! That in itself deserves so much more self confidence than 10 hours at the gym everyday, your own personal hair and make- up artist and a bunch of nasty, shallow boys looking at your body and not you!
    You are you and you are a mother and there is nothing more beautiful!

  • Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 5:44 am

    Not only, like you have I placed my self worth in direct relation to my attractiveness, but also, my income ( erotic dancer ) and self-esteem. The decision to haev my son (now nearly 6 months how time flies) weighed heavy on my heart… I knew he was meant to be here, but having no income and a huge mortgage and no way to pay it has changed me forever.

    You can lose weight, change you skin colour, dye your hair or wear high heels- what is most prescious is your TRUE SELF- Not your OUTER self- please remember, it’s just a vehicle for your spirit to ride around in!
    Ps- I have to sell my house this week, but my son wakes up smiling at me every day and he loves me unconditionally.

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