I wouldn’t trade my baby boy for the world, but I would trade my postpartum body… (Victorian)

I love being a mommy but what I don’t love is the muffin top, stretch marks and saggy skin that I am left with. I went in for an induction on the 6th of August at 5pm I was in labor till 930 on the 7th when I had only dialated 2 centimeters and they did a c-section. It was upsetting but best for my baby. He was born 9lbs 7oz and 21 inches long. My baby boy will be 3 weeks old tomorrow and I am still fighting my postpartum depression. I don’t want to eat, leave the house, or have any company over. I can’t seem to pull myself out of this funk. I am so disgusted with my body and I feel terrible because my poor fiance tries so hard, but everytime he touches me or tries to compliment on how good I look my skin crawls. I hate my body and I don’t know how to cope. I want to feel comfortable in my skin and love my body again. I am 5’11 my pre pregnancy weight was 150 and I have always been in good shape. At 40 weeks I was 211! 3 weeks out I am now 176 slowly losing the weight. Seeing everyones post and knowing that my body will never be the same upsets me. I wish I had the confidence and love for my new mommy body.. I have heard that the belly is the hardest to lose and the stretch marks will never go away. I feel like the more weight I lose the more indented and ugly my stretch marks become. I can’t wait to get back into the gym and its so hard knowing I have to wait 6 weeks. I really hope that once I am able to start I won’t be disappointed and it will help me start feeling better about myself..

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 weeks

Updated here.

12 thoughts on “I wouldn’t trade my baby boy for the world, but I would trade my postpartum body… (Victorian)

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Let me start by saying you look GREAT. It took your body 9 months to gain the weight and now in just a few weeks you have lost more than 30 lbs? That is truly amazing! Try to think positive and look at what you have to be greatful for and listen to your fiancĂ© when he says you look great, because you do! I had a cesarean as well and what helped me the most is getting outside to walk everyday with my baby. Getting some fresh air is great for the both of you and helps with ppd. Now It is routine for us and my little one expects it everyday. It doesn’t feel like a workout so it is easy to commit.
    After you are feeling better (it took me AT LEAST 6 weeks to not be in pain), try taking a belly dancing or Zumba class. It really targets the areas that need toning after a pregnancy. It has worked for me and my stomach looks more toned than pre pregnancy… So don’t feel as though you can’t get back into shape. Yes the stretch marks will be there but it is a very small sacrifice for your healthy baby :) The first few weeks are the toughest. Things will get easier, I promise!

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 8:48 am

    you look incredible. and not just for 3 weeks out; period. seriously, you’re doing great. your tummy is flat and your skin is so perky. gorgeous mama!

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 11:45 am

    You look amazing for being only 3 weeks pp! I bet many people will be a little jealous of how flat your stomach is already :P Stretch marks do change in appearance when you lose weight, but in time they will fade. I know we all wish we could snap back to our old bodies in a few weeks, but that usually doesn’t happen for most moms! Give yourself time and think positive! It will get better. Enjoy your baby for now :)

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Your 2 weeks pp?!?!?! Wowie, your tummy is sucking itself right back! The stretch marks will change, just dont fuss over them too much. You look really great.. I thought all your pictures were pre-baby at first!

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    WOW! You really, really, really look amazing. Give yourself permission to just ‘be’ right now. That is one thing I didn’t realize or allow myself with my first child. Your body will continue to change and from the looks of your pictures in a few months you probably won’t even be able to tell you had a baby! Your skin is lovely. You are normal to feel blue or depressed, but if it continues to a point where you aren’t finding joy in your little one please ask for help. You don’t have to stay in that hole alone. Praying you can see yourself truthfully and find joy today!

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    You’ve only been ‘not-pregnant’ for a few weeks and you look pretty good in my opinion. It took me about 4 months to really see a change in my body (I am 5’9″ and weighed 225 lbs when my son was born, but was originally 171!)

    If you have time to get out and walk with your son in his stroller, I suggest that as good, light exercise. You will be amazed at how fast your weight slides down to where it was. Within two months of him being born, I was down to 200.. and then within 4 months of that, down to 180. Now I sit at 177 and I walk everywhere with my 10 month old.

    I found that by eating a relatively good diet (give yourself credit and throw some junk food in there every once in awhile because you need/want it) and just walking every opportunity I got, that the weight has stayed off and I feel a lot better about my body (and I have a LOT of stretchmarks and still a poochy tummy because I am overweight). However, it is shrinking.

    Your body has to adapt to all these changes.. I mean, you more or less just lost a bunch of weight overnight.. it has to cope and adapt. Your skin will tighten back up in time if keep losing weight (which you will) and the stretchmarks DO fade.

    Trust me, I looked like I had been mauled by a tiger after my son was born. Now at 10 months, they are a silvery pink color and if I give them another year or so, they will fade to silver white. Of course, they will always be there, but I tend not to care about them as much now as I did in the beginning.

    And I do, believe it or not, understand about not wanting your husband touching you, not believing what they say, etc. My husband doesn’t understand why for the longest time I felt that way (and I didn’t either until I really sat down and thought about it). I suffered from severe PPD and was on medication up until a month ago. Once the PPD starts to subside (and it will.. if it doesn’t, make sure to keep in contact with your OBGYN and a family care practitioner) you will more than likely start to feel better.

    For myself, I start feeling better once I actually sat and thought about why I was feeling like crap about sex, my body, life, etc. Once I realized what my hang-up was (and I still have it), I realized it was something I could work on. So I do. It’s slow, but I do feel better now than I did 6 or even 12 months ago.

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    You beautiful, wonderful amazing woman- you have just made a whole human being and now you have the huge job a loving him and caring for him.
    It makes me so sad that you feel the way you do about your post baby body (which IS beautiful). That amazing body created a life and now it tells that story- that you nourished and grew a baby!!
    Our culture is so fcuked up the way we view bodies, ageing, beauty- we spend so much time agonising over the scales/mirror and feeling dreadful about ourselves. It is hard to undo the mental pictures in our brains about how we should look. The reason those images exist is because of the (probably) millions of ‘perfect body’ advertising images we have seen through our lives.
    What worked for me post baby was to stop comparing my breasts and waist and tummy with Miranda Kerr, or Beyonce, or whoever. I went easier on myself and kpt reminding myself that those women have odd, strange ‘advertising’ bodies which are very, very different to the vast majority of us.
    So, go lightly on yourself and your beautiful body. Try to be thankful for all the amazing things it has done in the past and will continue to do.
    And if you see Miranda Kerr, or Beyonce or any other of those strange bodied women plastered up in front of you, avert your eyes and choose not to look and compare- you are beautiful!

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    I just want to say I’ve been looking at the site for nearly 3 years now and this is the first time I have ever commented.

    You honestly look great, thats all I wanted to say.

  • Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    Wow you’re only 3 weeks PP and you look fantastic. I had a 9 lb 4 oz 21 1/2 inch long baby boy vaginally and you look so good! Give yourself a year and you will see a major difference, seriously!

    I am 13 months PP and I look a lot better than I did months ago.

  • Thursday, September 13, 2012 at 4:31 am

    Picture 1- 12 weeks pregnant
    Picture 2- 40 weeks pregnan
    Picture 3-6 3 weeks post partum

    I really appreciate all of the positive feedback and the beautiful comments! I can’t believe how supportive so many mommies can be and how helpful it really is. Thank you so much. I am now 5 weeks post partum still very hard on myself but I’m starting to slowly come out of my slump. Thank you all for your support!

  • Friday, September 14, 2012 at 8:32 am

    If you feel like you’re fighting Post-partum Depression, then seek out some help. Find a professional to talk to who has experience helping women who suffer from PPD. Talking to someone will help you feel better about everything, your body included. I don’t think that you really see what is in the mirror. Most women do not look the way you do now before they have babies. Stretch marks will fade with time and loose skin (which I cannot see in your photos) does tighten up with time and toning. Walk with your baby. Getting outside changes your outlook on everything. It also gets rid of the extra pounds (can’t see those either). Find clothes that make you feel good. Be kind to yourself.

  • Monday, October 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Hi, I too had to have a c-section with both my daughters, and I had a hard time coping after the first one. I was standing in front of the mirror one day, sobbing and feeing very ugly, when my husband said to me, that scar, those stretch marks, they are a badge of honour because they represent our daughter and what you did-carrying her, birthing her and nursing her. Be proud of your body, we are truly gifted with our bodies. Time will take care of the rest, you are beuatiful! Never forget that!

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