I want to look better. (Sue)

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children: 16 months

First of all I want to apologize for mistakes, English is not my language, I’m from Poland.

I’m just 22 and I’m not happy about new look of my body… I’m not hating it only because of my boyfriend who seems to like it despite stretch marks and ugly, flat boobs. I was kind of sexy before pregnancy, I had 127 pounds of weight (I am tall, 176 cm) and I miss it very much. At 8th month of pregnancy I looked like a whale (171 pounds) but I was happy and excited. I couldn’t stand waiting for my son, and I was scared that something can go wrong. My friend and her baby had died that year during c-section. I was shocked. We were preparing together for maternity, we had same problems with our boyfriends, we had plans. After their death everything had changed. I was left alone, nobody could understand me and my fears. But luckily my pregnancy went well (I had only some problems with liver) and in October 2008 I gave birth to my beautiful son.

Usually my body is not a problem for me. I’m starting to think about what it looks, when I see slim, famous women 6 weeks postpartum, when I’m comparing shape of my body with my friends who doesn’t have children and when I’m trying to buy some new cloths in which I look nice. I know that my problem with accepting my new look is not serious – in the end my son is happy and healthy and I’m alive. But still I’m not feeling good with myself and I want to fight for better look. I’m going to loose some pounds and change my lifestyle. I know that it’s kind of sad that my self-esteem depends on my look but I think I can’t change it. What I can change is shape of my body, and I’ll try to do it.

Here are photos of me before and during pregnancy and 16 months postpartum.