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Destruction of Youth (Anonymous)

I got pregnant with my first baby when I was 15. I had the PERFECT body then and never realized it because I always had low self esteem. I was 5’2″ and weighed 115lbs. After I had him I weighed 135. I had a baby again when I was 17 and gave her up for adoption because I needed to finish high school and other reasons I’m not very proud of. After I had her I stayed at 145. At 19 I had another beautiful baby girl but my body had HAD IT, I am now stuck at 160. I wish I could wear a bikini or show my body without shame…… I NEVER had a stretch mark, roll, or extra skin before I got pregnant with my first. I feel like my body is just ugly, I’m trying to accept it but it’s very hard when I look at what I used to be, what I could be now if I never got pregnant. I love my children to death but I HATE the way my body looks more like 80 then 19.





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16 comments… add one
  • mama k Friday, November 9, 2007, 6:02 pm

    ((hugs))

    I hope that you can learn to love your mother-body more. And don’t underestimate the power of exercise to reshape yourself and feel better about yourself. :)

  • i-dra Friday, November 9, 2007, 9:29 pm

    3 children by the time you were 19? what a fertile goddess you are!

  • marjorie Saturday, November 10, 2007, 7:00 am

    I just want to say that I’m sure that as a very young mom,you will eventually lose some of the extra weight you are carrying. So don’t despair, it will come off. And then, if you still have loose skin, maybe think about surgery. You should do what you think is best for you. Blessings to you and your children!

  • ds Saturday, November 10, 2007, 9:24 am

    You don’t look like you did when you were 15, because you have become a woman!!! Your body is now the echo of motherhood and womanhood, and that is much more beautiful, and so much more to be proud of!

    3 beautiful babies to love, that you have nurtured in your womb, that is something to be proud of.

    God Bless, you look beautiful!

  • Regina Saturday, November 10, 2007, 3:48 pm

    I completely understand you. I had my daughter young. And just the expectation of society to be sexy and skinny and perfect while we are young is enough to tear us apart because we aren’t. You are beautiful. And you are a strong wonderful woman for all the things you have been through and done for your children. I applaud you!!

  • Sarah Sunday, November 11, 2007, 12:45 am

    When you feel your lowest, remember that there are women twice your age who have never been able to conceive. You have been blessed with every stretchmark, every inch of extra skin, every dimple. You are lucky to have the body you have!

    ds is right. At fifteen you were a child, but now you are a woman who has conceived and brought forth life. You can’t expect for things to be the same. Even when I was 19 and had not yet had children I certainly didn’t look like I did at fifteen. :)

  • Laura Sunday, November 11, 2007, 5:23 pm

    The skin on ur belly looks just like me the only difference is i lost most of my pregnancy weight so i have a pretty flat stomach but its so wrinkly and i can pull it out. I went from 95lbs to 174lbs in 7 months! I had to be induced at 36 weeks because i was so big. My hubby doesnt mind the belly, he says he actually likes it but i just remember that i used to have a perfect body before i got pregnant, i was a model and my favorite part of me was my stomach! Overtime im learning to accept my new mommy body so im sure u will too ;-)

  • Helena Tuesday, November 13, 2007, 9:23 am

    I believe this is one of the costs for very young mothers, their bodies are not really ready for pregnancy and it shows……

    All bodies change during pregnancy, they will never be what they used to be, but not to this extent…..

    But then, young mothers have other things that “older” mothers could be envious about……

  • Ruth Wednesday, November 14, 2007, 4:32 am

    Hello! I think you can be very proud of what you did in your life. I would love to have children but I got never pregnant. I’m 29 years old and also have sagging breasts and stretch marks everywhere because of weight gain once WITHOUT ever having had children! You know, there is no other alternative than to accept and even love your body. There is no other one for you. Don’t care about what society thinks: this great body of yours is THE ONLY ONE you will ever have in your life!!! It is YOUR personal and individual temple of your soul. Cherish it, love it for what it is. And believe me: if you really want it there are huge improvement to accomplish without surgery (which I don’t think you need at all!). Take a look at the before after pictures of women with kids under https://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/trans_f.htm That’s one of my favorite sites (I’m starting bodybuilding right now) because it shows what is possible in a healthy way (I wouldn’t put in breast implants though like the major parts of women there do ;) !). You don’t have to perfect to have a beautiful charming overall appearance. It’s not important at all to wear sexy “nothings” (bikinis) to heat men on!! Who cares for stretch marks in the end?! You are here on earth for yourself and not to please men! (a good site also concerning breasts https://www.007b.com . You are gorgous and start to love yourself and live!!!

  • Bea Wednesday, November 14, 2007, 9:33 am

    To Helena, I have to disagree. I think younger bodies bounce back more quickly. I had a friend who had a baby at 16 and 4 weeks later you couldn’t tell she had ever been pregnant.

    To the woman pictured above, thank you so much for posting these. How encouraging it is for us all to see that most women look nothing like Heidi Klum after having a baby. My body looked just like yours shortly after having my second daughter. Now a year later I still have a saggy tummy and breasts but it is much less dramatic. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time accepting your post baby body, but I hope you know what a wonderful thing you have done for other women by having the courage to show your new curves! Flat tummies are boring. Round tummies are lovely!

  • Krissy Thursday, November 15, 2007, 7:04 am

    I also disagree with Helana. Your age doesn’t really have anything to do with how you “bounce back”. There are too many other factors involved here. It has nothing to do with you body ‘not being ready for pregnancy’…..in fact, our bodies are ‘ready’ for pregnancy when we hit puberty…we are not ready for pregnancy at an early age for social/financial/maturity reasons – not because our bodies aren’t ready. If our bodies weren’t ready, then we wouldn’t be able to become pregnant. In fact, the reason why there are so many teenage pregancies is because our bodies become able to re-produce long before it is socially accaptable.

  • A Monday, November 19, 2007, 12:50 pm

    I agree with Mama K, defintely don’t underestimate the power of diet and exercise. You shouldn’t do it to impress others though, but only to feel better about yourself. I think as mom’s it’s easy to fall into a trap, thinking our bodies have to stay as they were after pregnancy… that we have just “changed.” However, I do challenge anyone who feels that way to REALLY try to do something about it, not just wish for something better. After having both my 1st and 2nd I got to the point where the weight stopped naturally coming off (fluid, etc) and started coming back on. It was at that point I realized that if I wanted to look different I had to do something about it. I have stretch marks as well, and I still do – but it is amazing what a difference even 10-15lbs can make in your “baby belly.” YOu may still have the stretch marks, but the sagging can REALLY improve! I joined Weight Watchers and did the points system, and I swear if you join it and do what they say, you WILL lose weight… I didn’t have time to exercise the first time and by sticking to a healthy diet where i COUNTED what I ate, I was still able to lose the weight and feel MUCH better about myself. Good luck, I hope you can find a way to be happy with yourself – I know how hard it is to be a positive mom is you don’t love yourself!

  • Michelle Wednesday, November 21, 2007, 7:31 am

    I think you’re going through the pregnancy changes a bit harder because you were a teen and hadn’t gone through the teen body turning into a woman’s body. That’s also a very hard step for some, and grasping it with pregnancy is definitely even harder!!! Don’t give up, we have all had to work our bodies in shape again. It takes time and you’re young so you’ve got a loooot of time :)

  • keely d. Saturday, December 1, 2007, 3:22 pm

    Please always remember that someone will always love you no matter what your body looks like.

    I was always overweight and developed ED when I was 16 and lost way too much weight- I went up and down and had my baby at 25- weighing 286-my body will never be perfect and I know that- after losing 86 pounds, I like my body more than I did before pregnancy. AS long as you take care of yourself you will learn to love your body as I am learning to love mine. You are young and beautiful- a bikini doesn’t have to tell you that.

  • Jenny Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 12:18 pm

    Whether you had children or not, you wouldn’t always look like you did when you were 15 (only a child in a child’s body). Try not to fret and remember how strong women can be. Show your kids that you are a strong woman and love yourself! Hopefully, loving your body will come in time. You are beautiful.

  • lu Friday, March 7, 2008, 1:25 pm

    I also had a baby at 15 and then at 21 and another at 26 my first pregnancy left me with a terrible body that I wasnt happy with, I feel your pain because ever since my self esteem went very low every day i look at my body and all I want to do is cry, I pray for a miracle that one day I can get a major make over or that I win the lottery and get the surgery to fix my hole body. my face dont match with my body.

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