destruction of the mother’s body (Anonymous)

I do not want my photo on any article without being asked.

I would like to share on your site, but find my body extremely shameful and grotesque. It took strength to even photograph my mid region. A friend shared your site with me and it gives me comfort. I don’t know why, but it does. I am 29 years old and I now have 5 children. They range in age from 2-10. I am submitting 4 photographs. A B&W I took head on weeks after my 3rd baby was born in the year 2000. The other 3 were taken after my 5th baby was born. The one angled was when I was a size 6 but it still shows the obvious destruction the pregnancies have done. In fact, I am a roller coaster when it comes to weight and the smaller I get (I sported a size 4 for a bit) the yuckier the loose skin becomes. The other 2 I took this morning, after I found this site. The first time I’ve taken a head on photo of my ugliness. I developed a hernia with my 4th baby and it has never been corrected. I weigh 145lbs and fall between a size 10-12. I would like to have surgery but think I might have baby #6 first. I think it’s ugly for sure, but the baby is still worth it.

10 thoughts on “destruction of the mother’s body (Anonymous)

  • Friday, May 25, 2007 at 8:45 am

    For having 5 babies you are absolutely beautiful. I love that side picture, it really shows your curves.

    I understand your feelings of shame towards your body. But please don’t let it consume you. I did for almost 4 yrs, it was a horrible journey. I only had one baby and I looked a mess. But you are not your scars. And those scars are the result of having 5 babies. Let those scars and lose skin be your proof of how strong you are. Pregnancy and childbirth is probably the most painful, hard yet beautiful thing a woman could ever experience, and you did it 5 times. That is amazing. Embrace your body and never NEVER hold your head in shame of how you look, you are a living a goddess!!! BLESS YOU

  • Friday, May 25, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. I could feel the hate you have for your body in your post. Think of this…if your best friend, an amazing woman who has given birth to 5 babies looked as you do, would you despise her body? NO! Treat yourself better…you deserve it. The photo of you and your curves is so sexy…you look great. Be gentle with yourself.

  • Friday, May 25, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    I think your photos are beautiful, but your post made me feel sad.

    You did something no man can do- that unfortunately some women can not do.

    That body of yours grew, protected, and nourished five little babies.

    You should be proud, not shamed.

    The way you feel about your body will greatly impact your children and how they feel about THEIR bodies.

    Learn to love yourself. You’re worth it.

  • Friday, May 25, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    Honey, I hear the pain and shame in your words. I want you to know that you are not alone – there are women all over the world silently shameful of their beautiful bagginess, silvery stretch marks, and soft curves. You are beautiful! Perhaps most mommies are not ‘beautiful’ by the world’s standards, but by the standards of all of the mother’s united, we ARE. I agree with the previous poster – don’t hold your head in shame. You are beautiful and magnificent. Your body is like a book – telling your story of motherhood and bravery, strength and honor!

  • Saturday, May 26, 2007 at 4:31 am

    I felt sad reading your post too. Your body has been through so much and given SO much – you and it deserve so much better than the self-loathing obvious from your post. My heart goes out to you because like so many mothers out there I have days like that too, though over time I’ve learned to hold my head high and stand tall most of the time (and my tummy looks JUST like yours!!!). You are beautiful, your breasts are gorgeous, your curves are sensual and your tiger stripes are your battle scars, to be worn with honour and pride. You have taken the first step in sharing these pictures with the world, that suggests to me that you do WANT to be proud of your body, you’re just not quite there yet. I hope you learn to love yourself and your magnificent body, you’re more of a goddess than any of those primped up plastic surgery barbies Hollywood would have us believe are the norm!!

  • Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 12:24 am

    the temple is not destroyed
    she stands tall & sure
    complete & utterly changed
    but never destroyed

    (you inspired me to write this)

  • Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    You look terrific. Never hate your body for creating five beautiful miracles. Celebrate your body for creating life.
    It hurts to hear the pain in your voice. You look so wonderful and your body is so perfect. I’m no poet, but I hope you believe me when I say that I wish you believed what everyone here believes–You are beautiful! Every woman here has been pregnant and has the stretch marks and saggy skin to prove it. You are not alone. It does take time, I admit, to learn to love your body for what it has gone through—to forgive it for its imperfections. Nobody’s body is airbrushed and perfect, not even celebrities’ bodies. They get makeup artists and photographers who brush up cellulite and saggy skin. We are not those people… we don’t cut off the evidence that we held our babies in our wombs for months. Instead, we get to be reminded every day that we are mothers and we did the one thing that millions of people want to do and thousands more do not have the ability to do—We held our babies close to our hearts and we nursed them with our breasts and We Gave Birth! We have the beautiful children to look at every day, but we also have the stretch marks. Stretch marks, sagging skin, and the like should never be anything to be ashamed of! They should be treated as a badge of honor, just like the beautiful children that we have raised.

  • Monday, May 28, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    You say your mother’s body was destroyed, but it wasn’t until you became a mother that your body changed, right? And it only was changed, not destroyed. You are planning on number 6, remember? That proves you are STRONG and HEALTHY – not the destroyed woman you think you may be. Destroyed means you are broken – perhaps in spirit, you sound it, but with love it will be mended, and your physical body is a statue of goddess!

    You aren’t just a woman, you are a very blessed mother of FIVE! That is such a wonderful gift to proclaim, and I’m sure you get that response alot. Each pregnancy and time nursing and raising your children tests and changes our physical bodies to an extreme, not to mention our minds and hearts, matures our souls and broadens our creativity.
    Loved the second photo – believe me, the curvy belly is better!! My belly is for sure a wrinkled bag of jelly, but I prefer the lump because it tells of the journeys it’s taken me on. I have so much respect for you and your body – you are immensley strong and beautiful.
    Watch your youngest children – do they care about their looks, their hair, their fingernails, the shape of their lips, their butts or thighs? We have been brainwashed with such twisted vainity! I learn so much from my children’s blessed ignorance – they are truly teachers as much as we are, but be careful what you teach them about image, for your influence is great. They will only think you are what you tell them you are – if you tell them you are ugly and your body has been destroyed, they will see the world through those glasses and never accept the original beauty of bringing forth Life and Love, they’ll only believe Hollywood and the tabloids.
    Embrace the simple wisdom of motherhood and the pride of your vessel – FIVE kids!!!!

  • Saturday, July 7, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    I really hope you read through these comments and maybe changed your mind a bit. You do not look bad. I only have two children, and my body looks similar except I have very wide hips;)

    My mom has five children…she has the marks, scars, skin, and chub to prove it…but she is my momma, and momma’s are always beautiful!!*tears* Your post made me cry…you are in NO WAY grotesque! :(

  • Tuesday, August 21, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    You are making me cry! i remember mornings spent in bed crying because i didnt want to look at my body in the mirror soon after i had my baby at the age og 21. she is 1 now and my body has not changed much. i was always skinny, didnt gain much weight during pregnancy and guess what sweety, my body looks like yours…except stretch marks begin at my calves and end at my breasts. honestly, i hope i could look like you do after 5 children. You are FREAKIN beautiful ;)

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