Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

My name is Rachael and I am 27 years old. I became pregnant when I was 18 years old. I was a size 6 and still thought I wasn’t skinny enough. At that time, I knew only one other person my age who had been pregnant. My adoptive mother was never able to have children, so she also had no clue of what to expect. I had two “back-to-back” pregnancies, and gained 65 pounds with each one. All of the sudden, I was wearing a size 20! I had seen so many pictures in pregnancy magazines of round, stretch-mark-free bellies, and toned arms and legs. I also studied photographs in “new mommy” magazines of women getting back into prepregnancy shape, looking like they must have never been pregnant to begin with! And here I was, huge and saggy
and literally covered in stretch marks. I had expected to get them on my belly. Maybe even my breasts. But I had them all the way down my inner thigh and calf, my lower back, my crotch, and up and down my sides. I thought I was a total freak!

It wasn’t until my friends began having babies and we started to show each other our new “mommy bodies” that I realized how totally normal I was. I was so relieved to find out that I wasn’t the only one who was hiding under long t-shirts and constantly hiking up low-rider jeans.

A few years later, I became pregnant with my third child. I faithfully did my cardio workouts, practiced yoga, and was fanatical about my diet. I gained 60 pounds. I came to the conclusion that I was never going to be one of those women with the “basketball tummy”. I am the kind of woman who will blow up to astounding proportions, grow a belly outwards AND sideways, and birth wonderfully healthy 9 pound babies.

This was taken a few months before my first pregnancy. The stupid thing is, I thought I looked “so fat” in this picture:

This picture was taken a week before my third son was born:

And this is me today, 10 months postpartum:

When I was fourteen years old I weighed 125 lbs. at 5’6″. My mother worried because I was ostracized for being “fat” and my pediatrician felt that while my weight was normal for an adult woman, it was unhealthy for a girl my age. I was put on a severe calorie restriction diet, thus setting the stage for future food and weight issues.

In my 20’s I had the misfortune of marrying a man who wished more than anything that I could look like a model, and his desire and my insecurity conspired to put me on a fitness regimen that made me miserable. At my low point (both in terms of weight and emotionally,) with running three miles a day and starving myself, I weighed 138 and still had drumstick thighs and a poochy stomach. When I divorced him I decided to start eating and moving in a way that I enjoyed, and I hovered around 155 for a while. I felt better at that weight than I ever had in my life, and it started to occur to me that maybe one’s body image isn’t totally objective after all.

I fell madly in love then with an incredible man, and over the next decade had four babies, gaining 35 lbs. with each, but losing less than that after each birth. That’s how I crept up to my present weight of 200 lbs.

At age 40, I love the way my body feels, as do my babies and my husband. I’m sure that my husband finds slim bodies attractive, but if his actions count for anything, he finds my body — or probably more accurately, *me* — attractive also, and he’s never said one negative word about my cellulite and large stomach, wise man that he is. I don’t like to be seen in public in bathing suit or shorts. I wear long flowing skirts to cover my thighs. Every once in a while someone will ask when I’m “expecting”.

The first picture shows me at the end of my fourth pregnancy. (That’s henna on my belly.) Strangely, I have no stretch marks like most women do, perhaps because my belly’s always been big. It didn’t have much stretching to do. I love my body so much when pregnant — it’s the only time I feel allowed to love the size of my belly. It made me choke up a little to see this picture. I think it’s beautiful.

The second picture is how I look currently, about two years postpartum. I don’t diet anymore. There’s been enough harm done to my body and soul.

-Linda
autonomousbirth.blogsome.com

p.s. Please don’t use these photos anywhere but on this website without permission. Thanks.

I was poking around a few nights ago and came across some great links, I thought applied to the subject here. I will add them to the sidebar, too, but wanted to make an “announcement” formally.

The sculptures at The Real Women Project are amazing. Amazing.

Check out this example of airbrushing. Funny, but after seeing the original, not only do I wonder WHY they airbrushed, but I think the result is a plasticky, Barbie-like figure.

And, finally, this one was actually mentioned to me quite some time ago, but got lost in the shuffle and I forgot to post it. A Fitting Experience is, according to her site, “a community project entitled, A Fitting Experience, I invited a group of women to contemplate the following questions while shopping for new clothes:

1. How do you feel about your body?
2. What did you think to yourself about your body as you tried on this garment?
3. Describe your body size and shape.

I then asked the women to record their responses on the paper tags of their newly purchased garments.”

This website is so amazing! It’s great to see what a “normal” female body looks like for once! My name is Stephanie and I am 21 years old. I’m a mother to a handsome 1 year old boy that I just adore. I got pregnant a week after turning 20, and was lucky enough to have a pretty smooth pregnancy, although I did test positive for Group B Strep. I gained 60 pounds throughout the entire 9 months, and lost 30 of those pounds just through giving birth. I breastfed for 7 months and lost another 15 pounds. Although my husband and I are not planning on having anymore children, we feel so lucky to have our son. He is worth every stretch mark, every push in the delivery room, every night of having to stay up to feed him, every dirty diaper, and even 2 saggy boobs :D

Here I am at 2 months pregnant…

17 weeks…

21 weeks…

28 weeks…

I never remembered to take pictures of my growing belly during my pregnancy. I worked up until the day I had him, so I spent my leisure time resting. Here are pictures of my stomach 1 year after giving birth…

I can’t seem to find the time to exercise, but plan on starting yoga once it get’s cooler. I love my son more than I could ever imagine. And I’m proud of myself and my body for being able to create such a beautiful, happy person.

My son and I now…

Being morbidly obese is something I identify with every single day, but it wasn’t until I was pregnant that I gained a better body self-image. Pregnant, I felt the glow despite the hormonal rivers that shown upon my face with acne. I was truly happy. My feet were swollen and I had edema. Gestational diabetes, faded away towards the last weeks of my pregnancy, but left little black needle marks and bruises all over my baby swollen tummy. I felt the kicks and flutters of excitement of life growing inside a once barren environment. I felt like I was on top of the world. When I was nine months pregnant, many people asked me if I was glad to soon be delivering my son, and I would respond back that I was content he was thriving inside of me. Him growing in utero was the most fabulous and remarkable time of my life. I didn’t know that when I went into a mad rage to clean and tidy up our room for my son’s arrival that I was indeed nesting. Nor did I know that when I felt my son kicking-out in utero was actually me having some major contractions. So when I went in to have my amniocentesis to check for his lung development to deliver him early because of gestational diabetes, I was shocked to know that I would be admitted to Labor and Delivery immediately without the amnio nor my husband by my side. My son came into this world, January 19th, 2006, at 9:26 pm and I felt a wave of sadness knowing born my son would no longer be inside of my womb. I had pangs of sadness that didn’t allow me to sleep after having the emergency c-section after I had failed labor and he was lodged in my birthing canal. I saw my son briefly when my husband walked him over all snuggled up in his aquamarine and pink striped receiving blanket and I kissed him for the first time. With surprise of not being able to see because I didn’t have on eyeglasses and the shock of, yes, I am a mother now, I had a hard time with the reality he was indeed was my newborn son. Thankfully, logic pulled through and I trusted the newborn my husband was holding was indeed our son made out of our love and committment for one another. It wasn’t until 8 am the next morning Tien Andrew Yoyo Yuen was cleared by doctors and nurses to be healthy enough to be held by his Mommy for the first time. I still treasure that first time I held my son and am thankful my husband took a picture of it. My face is evident that acne broke out all over. I was thoroughly tired cause I didn’t sleep and still, yet, I was in heaven because I was a new mother. Enclosed are two pictures I treasure. You can visit my son’s web blog on his development in utero and after birth at https://dimartino-yuenbaby.blogspot.com. I thank you for telling the stories of so many women around the world. Its given to me courage to express my story of how my morbidly obese body turned into a haven to grow and nurture a loving son.

Melissa DiMartino-Yuen

Hello mammas ^_^ My name is Misty, I’m twenty-four. I have boy/girl twins. I have been married one year. ^_^ (this is the only site I have: https://nocuously.livejournal.com)

I really wish I knew the women on this forum in real life. I could use the strength in dealing with what is now my new body.

Here is my birth story. In April 2004,I became increasingly bloated until I could hardly bend my knees. Scared to go to the doctor, I put it off for over a month. On May 21st of 2004 I was diagnosed with Minimal Change Glomerulonephritis (a disease where my immune system was attacking my kidneys, for an unknown reason). After a week’s stay and biopsy in the hospital, I was told to rest and take dozens of medications. In the next year, my boyfriend stood by me. In May of 2005, after five attempts to control the disease, I was put on a round of chemo. I remissed at the end of June. Where does the baby come in? Here we go. ^_^

My boyfriend and I married on our seventh year anniversary, on September 1st. In August we started trying for a baby, having been told that I may be infertile due to the chemo. On my honeymoon, I didn’t get the period for which I was due. On the fourth, I took an at home test. It was positive. I took another one in the morning, before calling the doctor, that too was positive. How eerie, because, at the end of September at the OB, she said I was having twins!

I’ve been through alot. I have come to love myself and treasure every minute. My pregnancy went well. I never worried about having a baby until they tried to tell me I couldn’t. Then I was more than happy to prove that I could have TWO, let alone one! A part of me, is ashamed by the way I look, not for me, but ashamed that others may be offended. But honestly, for the chance to be a mother, it is well worth it. I have been given angels. My kidney doctor said that pregnancy could change my chemistry…and make my disease worse or…I would find it never comes back again. My aggressive disease hasn’t come back. I believe my babies saved my life. For that, they have claimed my tummy. If I could tighten the skin, I would still keep my stretch marks and c-section scar as badges of honor. The hanging skin I can do without, but the women in my family have faith that I can overcome that, either mentally and/or in actuality.

My twins are Adian Anthony (6lbs 7 1/4 oz) and Amelia Grace (4 lbs). They are angels. In the most real way.

I am trying to come to terms with my new body. I am amazed at the life I created and the fact that I can nurse them with my own body. As for the stomach, I try not to think about it, but my sexuality is lost to me. It seems I am a mother solely and I have such a hard time finding myself sexy this way. I am working on it though. One day, I want to go to a nude beach, just as I am, and embrace this body as my home, something to be honored.

Sorry this was so long. Thank you very much for reading. Here’s a small photo journey.

This is me, before it all (trying to be like Betty Page..heh).

This is the ONLY picture I allowed taken of me when I was sick (May 8th 2004, my birthday) with my little sisters.

This is my husband and I on our wedding day ^_^

This is my tummy before (sorry such a small pic)

This is my belly at 6 months (right before the stretch marks, I have other belly pictures on film that aren’t developed yet)

This is my tummy 9-02-06 (post partum)

These are my babies as newborns.

Aidan

And Amelia

Here are my babies and I (they are about three and a half months here)

Thanks again. ^_^ Good luck mommies and mommies-to-be, it’s just amazing.

The first is me at 37 weeks with my first son. He was an emergency c-sec. After 2 hours of pushing at home, we discovered he was breech and that I’d crowned a hip, not a head. The next are of me, 9 months after my second boy, who was a sucessful vbac. I didn’t get a really good pic of my c-sec scar which is completely crooked :) Though, the way it curves, if you look at my torso, I’ve got a smilely face :) nipples for eyes, belly button for a nose, and the scar makes a nice smile! *laughs*

Thank you for this wonderfull site you have provided for moms everywhere!!!

I have three children, two girls and boy, ages 5, 3, and nine months. My girls were born only sixteen months apart, and the toll on my body was huge. The space between my second girl and my little boy- almost three years- felt luxurious and long, and thankfully, the recovery time for my body has been much quicker this time. But even though I feel like I’m looking pretty good these days, nine months after his birth, I still get people asking me if I’m pregnant quite often. That prompted me to start exercising (I got a bike and surprise, surprise, I still remember how to ride…) and I got a few intoxicating “Have you lost weight?” comments, followed by another dissapointing question about my nonexistent pregnancy just last week.

I wish I had some pictures of my belly after my first two births, but I guess it wouldn’t have occured to me to take any, because I found my body too upsetting- the stretch marks, the awful fold-over flap in my belly, the general spread-out-ness of my whole torso. After each birth, my belly really was deflated- I was huge each time, so much so that people thought I was six months pregnant when I was two, or nine months when I was five. I can’t count the number of times people asked if I was having twins, or said “So, you must be due any day now!” when I had several more long months ahead of me.

Finally though, and in large part from seeing all these pictures of all these beautiful, brave mothers, I’m finding some self-esteem again, and realizing that the body I have now was strong enough to birth and nurse three big, healthy babies, and that’s worth infinitely more than tight abs. I actually like my body now- when I went to take some pictures to send in, I was surprised to see that they actually looked kind of sexy, and that I looked MUCH better than the image I had in my mind. And even though I thought that my immediate-post-birth belly was here to stay, and that I’d better just accept it, it’s firmed up considerably, the stretch marks are light, and the fold-over has subsided to an acceptable level. The pictures here are of my 39 week belly with my son, me looking very, very tired and overdrawn from carrying my big boy, and two shots from a few weeks ago.

Thank you “Shape of a Mother” and Bonnie! This is what the Internet should be used for! This is social change and it’s revolutionary! Vive la belly!

39 week belly

So very tired…

The view from above

I look better than I think I do…

Round like the moon