Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Adding to my post (Miranda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 5 Comments

I posted for the first time 12 weeks postpartum. My son is now 13 months old and I am still settling in with this mama body. I have lost 40 lbs including baby and placenta, and am 20 above my prepreg weight. I still have fluctuating feelings about this body of mine. I hope to become fitter than I have ever been and recently joined a roller derby team. I feel stronger after every practice and it is doing wonders for my state of mind. I have definantly had my bouts with depression and also great joy and discovery. Sometimes I am so mean to myself when my belly pooches over the waistline of my pants. I have heard that called a muffin top. I know it will never be the same but I try to love and respect myself. It helps to hear my friends and the readers here speak their piece, because I am so proud when these women love themselves and so heartbroken when they don’t. I am adding some pics: the first 3 days pp, the next 2 or 3 months pp, and then about a year pp. The stretch marks have faded, the belly is still saggy but smaller. I am fitting in cloths I couldn’t close a year ago, but hope to lose more fat and gain more muscle. I have also definantly gotten stronger since becoming a mother.






Never Quite the Same (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 5 Comments

I can’t believe that I used to think I was fat. I always thought I could stand to lose weight, and I thought that I was pretty unattractive. Funny how hindsight really is 20/20! Now, 2 years after birthing my son via emergency caesarean, I am about 20lb over my goal weight, and I know that my body will never quite be the same. I have stretchmarks on my boobs, my hips, my stomach, my thighs, my butt, they have faded but they are still there, a gentle reminder every day of the journey my body went through to carry my son to term.



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Updated here.

Un-Hating Your Body

Bonnie (SOAM) Body Image 0 Comment

Reader Catherine sent me a link to this short article from UK’s Guardian. More of an advice column, really, it says, You can also look at your body more. A lot of us ignore our bodies. Connect with your body instead, especially when naked. It’s good stuff, this advice. And how true? How many of us put on clothes to try to forget what we look like underneath?

I’ve posted a few links recently about overweight women embracing their bodies, and I want to point out that the advice given applies to each and every one of us with body issues regardless of our BMI. Here are SOAM we are covering relatively new territory (I think!) and so we need to adopt the advice that is out there even if it is aimed only at one specific size of woman. I don’t want anyone here to feel alienated when I post these links or thoughts, because all of it has a message for all of us – just take the bits that you need and leave the rest. You can always come back for more if you need it.

First time mom (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 5 Comments

I am a first time mother and I had my son this past October.

The first picture is the most recent before I was pregnant (probaby taken a month before I concieved). The next pictures are of me during my 8th and 9th month of pregnancy (the homestretch!). The last 3 are of me after (obviously, lol). I haven’t yet gotten down to my normal weight yet, as I still have an extra 15lbs to lose but I’m getting there slowly. I miss my baby bump and hope to experience it (pregnancy) again someday.


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Helen

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 4 Comments

My name is Helen.
I have a website at: https://everydaystranger.net

In October 2007 I gave birth to 36 week boy/girl twins after 5 rounds of IVF. I’ve struggled for years and years with anorexia and purging disorders, and I knew that being pregnant would be hard for me, mentally, as I’ve always had a negative view of my body.

I was lucky enough to not get any stretch marks while pregnant, and in the end I only gained about 30 pounds despite eating constantly (albeit healthily). Within two weeks of delivery I was out of my maternity clothes and back in my regular clothes. Three months on and I’m two sizes smaller than I was when I got pregnant – I’m not actively dieting, but I am taking care of twin infants, which keeps me moving 16 hours a day.

Now that three months have passed, I have a noticeable C-section scar, a still visible linea negra, and my former navel ring piercing is a large scar. I have that apron of skin hanging down, too, which I’ve been working on but suspect it will never really go away. But I am so, so lucky to have beautiful, wonderful babies after trying for so many years.

I’ve included a shot of me the day I gave birth, as well as one of me today – both are watermarked as I had some photos stolen a little while ago and I’m now a little over-protective.


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9 Months Post Partum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 3 Comments

I posted on here before when I was 10 weeks postpartum. Not much has changed since I last posted, I’m still at the same weight, but my stretch marks have faded so much! In the pictures they still look reddish, but they are actually more silver now. My stomach flattened out some. I still have a ways to go, but I know it will only get better! I’m so thankful for this site! It gives women a real view about how women’s bodies really look! We don’t bounce back in 6 weeks, and that’s okay! My husband actually loves my body now, he says I look womanly. He loves the extra weight, and it makes me feel so great! I would love to be a size 8, but if it never happens, that’s fine.




Question, ladies

Bonnie (SOAM) Question 7 Comments

Hello all! I have a question for all of you. I’m the mother of two wonderful children (4&3), and I was a gestational surrogate for twins who are almost nine monthes old. I’ve been thinking about being a surrogate again – for the same couple – and was wondering what you think. The pregnancy with the twins was not bad, but it was harder then when I was pregnant with my kiddos. If I could just have some advice that would be great. Thanks!!

second pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Submissions 5 Comments

It’s a boy! 30 weeks pregnant with my second. My first born was delivered by emergency c-section, and I’m hoping not to go down that road again. The stretch marks were barely noticeable and I was 20lbs away from my previous pre-pregnancy weight when I got pregnant this time! The weight was hard to lose, as I gained 60lbs and it took 4 years to lose 40.. So far I am happy with the way I look except for the pregnancy curve that has taken shape on my back. I’ve gained 37lbs so far. Hoping to breastfeed!









Perfection (Caurie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

Becoming a mother saved my life. Before I became pregnant with my first son my focus in life was my body. I had anorexia and exercise bulimia for years. In the pursuit of a “perfect” body my body was like an old woman’s. I had osteopenia, the enamel on my teeth was eroded, my heart had palpitations, and I had a seizure. I was 27 years old! I got pregnant on Valentine’s Day 2003 and immediately my whole focus in life changed. I fell in love with the little bean inside me instantly. At just five weeks pregnant, though, my body turned on me (who could blame it!?) I started throwing up and it would not stop. After passing out from dehydration and being taken to the hospital I found out I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum– a pregnancy complication marked by extreme vomiting, nausea, and weight loss. Basically it is like having the worst case of morning sickness 24-7. During my first trimester I lost 20 pounds and was hospitalized five times for IV hydration and nutrition. The IVs kept my baby alive as I could not even hold down water. I worried every minute that my baby was going to die. For the first time in my life I WANTED to gain weight, but I could not. The lowest point in my Hyperemesis came when a hospital physician suggested I was making myself sick because I didn’t want to gain weight. At around 24 weeks the vomiting stopped thanks to anti-emetic medicines used for chemotherapy patients. I slowly began to gain weight and look pregnant. I LOVED the rest of my pregnancy and embraced the roundness of my body, fullness of my breasts, and widening of my hips. Brice was born on November 4 and it was truly the best day of my life. Because of the Hyperemesis I did not plan to get pregnant again, but my husband and I were surprised with a souvenir from a vacation in May 2006! The day I found out I was pregnant again my OB started me on the same medications that helped my Hyperemesis with Brice. I am happy to report that I had an excellent pregnancy with Brady – the medications worked and I only had to be hospitalized once – when I delivered him. Although he had some breathing difficulty at birth, he is now a healthy, happy, and rotund baby. January 12 marks one year postpartum. I have had such a journey with my body over the past several years. At this point I no longer view my body with negativity, but with respect. I admire it not for what it looks like, but for what its achieved — two pregnancies, two births, and the nourishment of two babies through its milk. Unlike how it looked when I was anorexic – bony, gaunt, and child like – my body is now curvy, fleshy, and womanly. I have accepted it. Sure there are moments when I do not exactly embrace it, but thinness is no longer the focus of my life. My focus is my sons. How can I hate a body which gave me such precious gifts? In this sense, my body is finally “perfect.

www.caurie.com

Photos: Photos: 1) 34 weeks pregnant with my first in yoga pose 2) 34 weeks pregnant with my second 3) Breastfeeding 4) My boys and I



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Courtesy of photographer Sara Matlik