We have had many a submission from a military wife, and a few in the service as well. Thank you, to those who serve our country, to the wives and families who sacrifice so much for us – thank you all for all you do!
Author: Bonnie (SOAM)
Mother of Two Baby Boys (Anonymous)
Age: 24
Two Pregnancys/ Two Births.
Children Ages: 2 1/2 & 10 weeks.
I find it pretty hard being 24 and dealing with friends and their perfect bodys in bikinis..their perky boobs, and flat stomachs, lack of stretch marks. My husband says I look great in my body now, but when your not used to something its hard to deal with. Even after 2 1/2 years. With my first son, i gained way too much weight. 53 lbs to be exact. Bringing my 110 lb body up to 163..giving me stretch marks and saggy skin. After an enormous weight battle and approximately 1 year ..I was actually smaller than I was before getting pregnant. But, my body was changed..my boobs sag..my nipples are bigger..i still have the stretch marks..but the worst is the saggy skin/ better known as the muffin top. No clothes seem to complement my body. Its now 11 weeks after my second child. I did well this pregnancy only gaining 23 lbs and i have 5 lbs left to loose to get back to my weight agian..I am starting to accept my post baby body and even wore a bikini to the beach last month. If you dont like it..you dont have to look at it. … Im not always okay with my body in public, but I am trying.
Hating My Post-Baby Body (Anonymous)
I was always in great shape. I used to have visible abs, perky boobs, and a pretty shape. I got pregnant at 18 by my high school sweetheart, and had my daughter at 19. I put on 85 lbs with my first pregnancy. I suffered from terrible ppd and for a long time was depressed about how I looked, but didn’t really care. I was in a terrible relationship and hated my life. 2 years later, I was still 40 lbs from my pre weight, up 7 pant sizes, but finally able to start getting my life back. I decided to leave my relationship and get a better start on my life. Unfortunately I found out I was pregnant again. This time on my own, I gained little extra weight, and combined with excessive blood loss due to a difficult delivery, I left the hospital at 30 lbs over my initial prepregnancy weight, down 10 from when I got pregnant. Now, 2 and a half years later, I am 15 lbs from my pre weight. I wear a size 3, but I am still in agony over how I look. Due to the large weight gain in my first, I have strech marks EVERYWHERE and they are terrible. On my thighs, some are 3-4 in long and an inch wide. I have them on my arms, boobs, starting 4 in above my belly button all the way down to the backs of my knees and my calves. I hate my belly, my breasts, everything. I was married 2 years ago, and I have become jelous, possesive, and incredibly loathing of myself and anyone my husband might find more attractive than I. Some days I think its not so bad, but other I want to lie in bed and cry over what has become of my previously great body. I used to be a happy, confidant, independent person, but now I’m shy, insecure, and needy. I hate what I have become, and am hoping things are going to get better.
Age 23
Pregnancies: 2
Ages 4 and 2
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone… (Kimberly)
Age: 21
Pregnancies: 1
Births: 1
3 1/2 Months PP
I became pregnant with my daughter less than a month and a half into my relationship with my, now, husband. As much of a shock as it was, it by all means was a position we put ourselves in. We were careless with our intimacy. It took a few weeks to come to the conclusion that we would continue our lives, but we would be bringing a life into this world with our own lives. My pregnancy was easy to say the least. During the first 5 months I had pretty severe morning sickness, that resulted in me losing 13 pounds my first trimester. Once I was out of the woods of the morning sickness, though, I felt that everything had started coming together. I didn’t have stretch marks, I got comments all the time about that “pregnancy glow”, my husband and I had a regular, AMAZING sex life, and I felt absolutely beautiful. However, later down the road that sex life slowed down. It became almost non-existent, and it wasn’t because MY sex drive wasn’t there. I started feeling unattractive to him, unwanted, and unsexy. I felt like I had to fish for compliments, and even when I got the result I wanted, it just didn’t feel as satisfying as I wished it to be. My last month and a half I grew large, and started developing stretch marks on my hips, stomach, and thighs. All in all, my stretch marks are nothing compared to circumstances other women have. However, I can’t help shake the thought that I still despised my late pregnancy body. I was in pain, I was exhausted and sleeping all the time, and had to leave work earlier than initially planned, suggested by my OBGYN. My husband and I were still not intimate, but now it was because of my large belly and how uncomfortable it was for me.
I went into labor on June 15th of this year, at nearly 5am. Throughout the day I dealt with mild contractions, but they progressively became more intense and unignorable. We went into the hospital around 1am on the 16th. My labor continued very slowly. They had me walking for hours to help me dilate. At 11am I was given a small dose of inducer to help, and within that same hour I was given my epidural. That was the worst part of my entire pregnancy. Due to severe lumbar scoliosis from my adolescence, my vertebrate were closer together than they normally should be. They had a hard time finding the right nerve, and also getting it in place correctly. It took them over an hour to get the correct placement, and they had to re-do the insertion of the spinal needle 4 times until it was right. After that, I was fanastic. I was giggly, happy, talkative. Around 5pm that day I decided I was ready to push. I was still in the same, euphoric mood, cracking jokes in between my contractions and pushing, laughing, and making conversation with everyone who was helping me. At 5:28pm and after over 36 hours of labor, a 7lb 10ounce, 19.5 inch long beautiful baby girl arrived. She was immediately put on my chest to nurse. And to make the situation even more memorable, my husband became teary eyed, which is not something I had ever seen in his eyes before.
The first two weeks home were miserable. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. My husband works nights at his job, and also needs to travel to Seattle, 4 hours away, nearly 1-2 weeks per month. It just so happens that the first trip they require him to make is the first week our newborn, and first child, is home. I cried, and cried, and cried. I didn’t understand why I was so unhappy. I missed my husband, wished for HIS help, and felt as if it would never get any better. Since then, it has done a complete turn around. Once my milk came in, life was much easier for all of us. I have adjusted to being a stay at home mom, as well as taking nearly full responsibilty for maintaining our daughter’s well-being while he is working at night or sleeping during the day. I absolutely LOVE my life as her mother and his wife. I have such an amazing thing in front of me, and I completely recognize every ounce of it.
However, my personal battle is this: my self confidence has been shot through the window, and I don’t know how to regain it. I, by NO means, resent my daughter for the changes my body made to accompany her development. I would rather have my body as it is now, than not have her in my life. I have never been a very confident person, however, I am at my lowest point in the longest time. I realize I am not as bad off as I nearly FEEL. But the way I feel doesn’t change just because I really am not as bad as it seems in my head. It’s hard for me to look at my body, I never spend the time getting myself “pretty” anymore. It’s funny how before I was pregnant, I didn’t like my body. I look at the very few pictures I DO have of my body from before, and I resent myself for not being confident then and realizing what an amazing figure I had. I know my body change can be easily obtained with excercise and eating well, which is my plan. I just don’t know how to raise my self esteem. I feel disgusting, I hate seeing my body, let alone my husband seeing my body. I wish I believed him every time he calls me beautiful. I believe it on some days, but I don’t on more occassions. I want to FEEL like the beautiful woman and mother that I am. I just don’t know how. I realize all of it is in my head. I have days where I feel confidence, it just doesn’t happen very often.
-Picture 1 is when I initially found out I was pregnant
-Picture 2 is around 35 weeks, the last picture I felt comfortable taking in my last trimester
-Picture 3 is just from a few days ago, 3 1/2 months PP
-Picture 4 is of my beautiful daughter, Makenna Jaylene
A young mommy of 1, 10 months later (Anonymous)
Coming across this website has given me reassurance that I’m not the only one out there struggling with my post-partum belly. Seeing pictures and reading inspirational stories only motivates me more than ever! I realize that acheiving my ideal body is possible.
I have to admit that I have always thought down upon my body. After having my first child, my son, I now look back and realize what was I complaining about in the past?! I had a really good body! I believe that what I felt was normal, teenage thoughts of, “I’m fat”. But in reality, I was fairly petite all along.
I became pregnant at 17 years old after only dating my boyfriend for four months. It was unplanned and shook my world. I took full responsibility of my actions because let’s face it, we all know what we are doing when we are doing it! (for most situations anyway). My decision–OUR decision–to keep our son, has been one of the best choices I have ever made.
I had the best pregnancy I could have asked for. I actually fear the next baby, whenever that may be, because it will be complete opposite of my first pregnancy! ( :0D ) I had no morning sickness, no crazy mood swings… just a relaxing, exciting, joyful, pregnancy that I spent preparing for the biggest 180 life-changer.
The only downside to the pregnancy was gaining 45 pounds that I didn’t worry about while pregnant and didn’t realize would be hard to take off after. Also, the deep, long, reddish/purple stretch marks that I accumilated on my stomach, sides, thighs, and even the back of my knees.
I went into labor naturally at 40 weeks, 1 day at 5:30p.m. the day of Thanksgiving 2008. With no epidural and after 15.5 hours of labor and 30 minutes of pushing, I delievered my healthy 9 pound 5 oz., 21 inches long, baby boy at 9:43a.m. the next day.
Having my son has kept me holding onto my dreams. I believe that without him I would still be partying and doing things that would have let my goals in life slip away. I want my son to look up to me and that means doing the right things: I am going to school to become a RN, I quit smoking ciggarettes (nothing against people who do–I personally just don’t want my son seeing me do something that I will later be telling him not to do!), and just doing what I believe a mother should be doing and acting like. Since my own mother growing up was on drugs and always in and out of my life, I made a vow while pregnant to be the opposite of that. The love I have for him is a different kind of love (that also comes with tons of worries lol) that keeps growing by the day.
His father and I have been tested greatly through this experience. He is an outstanding dad and provider to our little family, and I’m proud to say that we have continued to stay together.
But still, I can’t help but feel self-concious over my body, especially around him. It has changed so much and is so flabby and jiggly. My thighs are huge, my love-handles stick out for a mile, my stomach hangs, my stretch marks adds onto what I feel like is already not attractive, but is the last thing I worry about when it comes to my body……I do have to admit that I have made no effort to change it, and know once I do so it will make a huge difference; because hey, this body ain’t gonna get toned itself! After coming across this website, like I said in the beginning, is only motivating more to get up and start making a change. It is so nice to see that we are all women with the same insecurities, bodies, hopes, etc.
I just wanted to write this to thank all the women who have shared their stories and photos and to encourage other people to be comfortable and confident with who they are; the road I am starting to walk down myself.
Thanks SOAM
– Age: 19
– Number of pregnancies and births: 1 preg., 1 birth
– Age of children: 10 months old
– Young mommy of 1, 10 months later
Here are my pictures :: underneath it all
– Picture #1: 2 days before labor
– Picture #2: 10 months PP at a distance
– Picture #3: 10 months PP closer
– Picture #4: 10 months PP sideview
Update – 20 months postpartum and I want another baby (Anonymous)
Your Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 20 months pp
Original entry here.
It has been 9 months since my previous post, and some things have happened. At 15 months we stopped breastfeeding. I’m still a little sad, I thought we would breastfeed longer than that but we gave my daughter whole milk after she turned 12 months and by 15 months she just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Once my milk dried up I noticed all of these little tiny white stretch marks surrounding my nipples. I hate them! My right boob has more than my left and they are bigger and deeper too. I think that is because she always preferred my right breast. I’m not happy with the way my boobs turned out at all! But on a positive note I am completely fine with the rest of my body. My tummy still sticks out a tiny bit but that’s okay. I have been running for 2 months now and I can really see a difference in my muscle tone! I also became pregnant shortly after we stopped nursing but at 5 weeks had a miscarriage. I would love to have another baby, I loved being pregnant and breastfeeding, but my husband wants to wait awhile. So right now I’m just trying to enjoy my body while I have it and hope in the next couple years we have another little one on the way!
3 photos of me and 2 of my boobs at 20 months postpartum.
Tif’s Story (Tif)
im 21
Second child
19 months PP
i had just gotten into college and was ready to have the time of my life. however i met this wonderful guy and it was love at first sight. i got pregnant soon after. i was scared. i knew that my parents would never accept it and i also knew that they would dis own me as well. well i guess the stress of it all cause me to lose my first baby. however i got pregnant again a few months later. as i predicted i was kicked out of my house and my entire family dis owned me, i had no contact with them. i suffered a nervous brake down and stopped attending my classes, so guess what , i was kicked out of school as well and lost all my scholarships. my BF, god bless him, decided that we should move in together. which we did. i must admit i had a very easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, nothing at all. all through the pregnancy i was like no strech marks, it wasnt until the last two weeks of pregnancy when they just appered all over my stomach. i was crushed. however i gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter no complications, in fact i was laughing throughout the labor and delivery, no lie. i was very happy to be a mother, but when i went home and saw the deflated thing that used to be my stomach and all the lines, i literally wanted to jump off a bridge, i am only 21, how can i go through the rest of my life looking like this? i can never wear a short shirt every again!!!! my BF is the one that kept me sane, in fact he tells me every day how sexy i am and that my marks are the marks of a REAL woman. i stll hate them no matter what he says. i stumbled across this site and saw that i am NOT alone. so i decided to share my story with you guys. this is what i look like now after 19 months, with out really working out.
Young Mommy (Anonymous)
I’m a young mother. I got pregnant when I was 18, and gave birth to my beautiful son when I was 19. Despite everyone’s negativity, my husband and I got through it and he’s wonderful. I was 120 before I got pregnant. I am 5’0 so you can only imagine when I was 8 months, which is when I gave birth, I was huge! I hit 165 the day I gave birth. I do love my son dearly, but sometimes I wish I was skinny again. I’ts been almost a year, he is now 10 months. I feel like I should have lost more weight by now. I’m 150, my goal is to be at least 130. The first two photos are of my stomach now. The second is my before I got pregnant. And the last one is my beautiful son, Sean.
Stretch marks and deflated boobs, but I’m doing great! (Anonymous)
I am 26 years old and this was my first pregnancy. I am 4 months post partum at the time of these photographs. My prepregnacy weight was 110 and I am now at 119. At full term I was 149. My butt and thighs got so many stretch marks. I still can not get any of my prepregnancy pants past my thighs. They may not ever go back. I feel like my bones have shifted and my hips have widened….but I’m doing okay. I love being a mother and my husband has been so supportive of my new body. The stretch marks on my hips and thighs can be seen when I wear a bathing suit and that makes me self conscious though they are already fading a bit. They were dark purple and angry looking when I got them. I got all of my stretch marks in the very last month of pregnancy…I thought I was doing so good until then. The ones on my boobs are fading too, but breast feeding is sucking the life out of them. I was a 34B…then a 36DD…now I’m down to a 34 C or D…so they are starting to look a little like pancakes. Everytime I start to get down on my self I just think of my little boy and that helps…quite a bit.
~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months
Wishing to be confident again (Anonymous)
My age 23. Two children ages 3 and 1
I became pregnant at the age of 19 with my first son. I was scared for about half a second, then thrilled. I was worried about what would happen to my body, I was always very fit. But I knew a lot of girls who had babies and you could not tell by looking at them, so I figured I would be the same way. I ate fairly well through out my pregnancy, but I still gained over 60 lbs! Despite constantly rubbing coco butter all over my belly I was covered in stretch marks, I was devastated. On top of that, due to my weight gain and swelling, my thighs, inner thighs, and calves were also covered. I was going to include pictures but they have faded so much the camera didn’t pick them up. So not only can I not wear a bikini, now I couldn’t even wear shorts either!! At 21 I got pregnant with my second son, I didn’t gain as much weight with him, and didn’t even use any lotions because I already had marks everywhere. And surprisingly I didn’t not get a single new stretchie.
After 3 years I still cry over them, I feel so ugly. I work out daily hoping they will magically “unstretch” but they don’t. My sons’ father and I broke up this Feb and I want to start dating again. But when it comes to sex, well I try to put it off until I just break it off because I am so terrified that I will get dumped over having them. I love my boys more then anything, and they are worth every change to my body. But I still wish it could be different. I want everyone on here to know how much you have helped me start to feel like it’s okay to look this way. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel confident and sexy… when I have clothes on.
Also I have read comments about some girls lie about not having stretch marks, it’s true I am one of them. When people tell me how great I look and ask if I got them, I say no. Because when I say yes I just want to cry.
Anyways, thanks for reading my story. Hope it can make someone feel like they don’t look so bad… honestly some posts on here make me feel like I got pretty lucky because it could be so much worse. If that’s wrong I’m sorry.
