I am a 28 year old mother of two. I had my second daughter a year ago and my other daughter is 7 years old. I feel so horrible about myself and my body. I am 5’6″ and supposed to be 150 pounds and a size 4-6. I’m still a size 9/10 about 175 pounds and I am gross. Absolutely gross. My body bounced back relatively quickly after I had my first daughter. Plus I was smoking and working full-time in fast food. I’ve been a stay at home mom now pretty much for the past six months and before that I was in school. I have lost about 50 pounds since I had my 2nd but its just not acceptable. My legs and stomach are flabby and gross. My breasts are saggy and nasty. My face even looks different. I look older.
My husband looks about 23 years old with his damn baby face. He used to be a little overweight but since his new job hes back to looking studly again. I feel like a nasty old fat cougar with him. As if people at the store look at us and say, “look at that good looking guy with those beautiful children. What is he doing with that ugly fat girl?” It is devastating and maddening. People think nasty things like that. its the hard core truth about this stupid world.
Today I just told him in a text that I don’t want to have sex anymore. I am too embarrassed. Why should I put him in a situation where he has to pretend to think someones attractive. He apparently doesn’t look at porn anymore but he FINALLY realized that it hurt my feelings because of my own body image. But ya know who am I to deny a man’s rights of looking at something beautiful and sexy while I am such an ugly disgusting fat pig? I don’t think he would cheat on me but I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted too. I mean REALLY who wants this. Poor guy,he must feel so guilty for having to lie when he tells me I’m beautiful and all he wants is me. I’m too depressed to excersise. I walk a lot and people say I am looking really good. But I know they are just lying to make me feel better and because they don’t want me to starve myself like I had in the past. I love my children but I hate my life and who I am. And I feel so bad for my husband and all the people in the world who are subjected to looking at me.
The pic in the dark blue dress is new and the body pics are as well. the one of me and my husband dancing are from when I was thin and sexy.