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Anonymous

I am a woman, wife, mother, doula, childbirth educator and breastfeeding activist. Just this morning I tested postive on a home pregnancy test. We just started trying this month for our third child, so I’m shocked and elated that it happened so quickly.

This is me today, four weeks and two days pregnant. I am a size 14, larger now than at the start of all of my other pregnancies, despite giving hundreds of dollars to a Weight Watching company that came close but not close enough to satisifying my needs. In the last eight years, I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for all but the last three months. I have oscillated between 145 pounds and 170 pounds not pregnant. But with my term pregnancies, I gained only 24-26 pounds and lost most of it. I blame the re-gain on too many Kit Kat bars and tall mochas. You might notice that my tattoo stretched and bounced back, but the appendectomy scar and lower mole were not so cooperative.

I decided to submit these photos because I want to celebrate this pregnancy in ways that I have previously missed. I have had two miscarriages, and the last pregnancy came and went without anyone knowing until the announcement was bad news. Both miscarriages have been before 12 weeks and even though they were early, they were still extremely painful with strong contractions and surges just like my labors.

I’ve never taking pictures of my body without clothes. My hubby is quite modest, and that spreads to his image of me as well. This time is different. I want to take pictures of my progression through pregnancy, do some maternity portraits, document the birth in both photography and videography, and do a belly cast. This will be my last child (and he says last pregnancy no matter what–his sensitive nature can’t take any more disappointment). I have so much love and energy and hope and joy around me for this baby that I can feel my apprehensions melting away, my anxieties fading and my spirit bouyed by optimism.

I hope to finally have my homebirth. To give my daughters the baby brother they have been requesting. To give myself permission to complete my fertility with a third child. To look forward to growing older with my family around me, whole and happy.

I give this pregnancy to nature, to God, and these pictures to the world. This is me and the microscopic baby is inside.

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in Submissions
10 comments… add one
  • Anna Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 6:17 pm

    I felt a surge of excitement when you mentioned your new pregnancy! Congratulations! I hope that you continue to share your journey here with all of us!

  • Heather Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:07 pm

    I hope you get to complete your circle, as well! Keep us posted!!

  • marjorie Thursday, August 30, 2007, 3:24 am

    Congratulations! I look forward to following your story through the next eight or so months.

  • Brendy Thursday, August 30, 2007, 8:24 am

    Congratulations!

    I didn’t take many pictures during my pregnancy with DD and wish I had. I too had 2 miscarriages. My weight is also very similar to yours. I had planned on photographing my subsequent pregnancies even though I wasn’t happy with my body but I don’t think that is going to happen.

    I think it’s great that you are documenting your body as it changes. I’m sure you and your child will cherish those photos!

  • mom of 2 Thursday, August 30, 2007, 12:09 pm

    Congrats on the new baby! I had a homebirth this past January and it was an amazing experience, I hope you get all that you long for! You look beautiful, and I look forward to seeing you progression as this baby grows.

  • Sarah Thursday, August 30, 2007, 8:11 pm

    Wow… I’ve never read anything so beautiful. I pray that your pregnancy is blessed and healthy. Keep us updated with pregnancy photos!

  • Helen Saturday, September 1, 2007, 6:10 pm

    Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy! You have a lovely body- beautiful hips!!

  • Allison Tuesday, September 4, 2007, 6:36 am

    Your post is just wonderful. It was just what I needed to read this a.m. Good luck on your journey..H&H 9 months!!

  • Daisy Wednesday, September 12, 2007, 7:01 pm

    I look forward to following you through this eventful nine months! I, too, had moles that stretched during pregnancy. They’re unique, I’ll say that.

  • leah Wednesday, July 30, 2008, 4:56 pm

    You look like one of those fertility goddess statues! Very beautiful. Congrats on the pregnancy!

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