Acceptance (Anonymous)

My body acceptance

My name is Janel and I gave birth to my daughter Jasmyn in June of 2006. I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. But after coming home from the hospital and seeing my new body in the mirror I couldn’t help but be depressed. I had never been “skinny” but I was toned and had a nice physique in my opinion. I was pretty active and cared about my appearance. I did however have issues with the eating disorder bulimia. My weight would shift often during that time because I would go weeks without binging and purging and then go weeks with only binging and purging…. After high school I felt I had it under control. I met Nima and became pregnant at 19. Anyway… After seeing what was left after pregnancy I felt defeated and decided I would cover up my body with saggy clothes and hide away indoors.I rationalized by saying this is my baby’s time not mine. Months went by with breastfeeding, exhaustion and depression. Slowly I slipped back into my eating disorder habits. I would exercise like crazy (indoors only) because I was ashamed to go to an actual gym. My self-esteem was at an all time low. Finally my Dad and step-mom stepped in and made me realize that I needed to stop feeling so horrible about myself. My aunt stepped in and bought me some new clothes that flattered my “new” body. Nima helped by giving compliments and taking me shopping for new clothes. I found the courage to join a gym, and even an aerobics class with one of my cousins.Things were getting better for me and still are. I work out regularly, I eat a balanced diet. Of course I indulge some days :). But overall I am becoming more accepting of myself and this new body. At the age of 22 I can finally say I am happier with myself then I ever have been. And that doesn’t just go for how I feel about my appearance but the inside too. By posting these pictures and actually seeing my body through the camera I realize its not that bad! It was liberating to see it for what it really is. I was too scared to take pictures of my body before. But this website helped. I dont feel comfortable with nudity, but I submitted some pics of my post baby tummy and body…… I hope I can break the cycle of insecurity that runs in my family and give my daughter a way to love herself for her!

6 thoughts on “Acceptance (Anonymous)

  • Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    you look great!
    keep up the good work.
    i need to go work out and shed the lbs I gained when I was prego 50lbs that is.

    God bless!

  • Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    You look great!

  • Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 8:03 am

    Hey girl.
    I think we are very similar in body shapes, and like you had a hard time adjusting with my new shape.
    I was in great shape and was about 140 lbs, very toned, and now about 155 not bad,
    my belly is like, like spongy around the middle, but also like you, finding clothes that flatter is the key, we rock! lol
    loved the story, keep up the good work!

  • Friday, September 12, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    You are so strong to face your issue and transform it into a positive. And so blessed to have so many caring people surrounding you for support. What a blessing this is to you and to your daughter! You are an inspiration to all of us and all of our daughters. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

  • Monday, September 15, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    You’re right. You don’t only look “not bad”… you look FANTASTIC! And your daughter is so beautiful! Thank you for writing something so wonderful. We truly do need to break this cycle. It isn’t only in your family, it’s in our culture. We can start one daughter at a time to change our outlook.

    You go, girl!

  • Monday, September 22, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Thank you so much for all of your positive encouragement. I love this website and what is has done for me and other women like me!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *