I am a man, and I while I know this is a site for women, I have a story to share. Whether you chose to post it is at your discretion, but I am hopeful you will read what I have to say and perhaps offer some advice.
My wife has given birth to two wonderful, beautiful children. She is an amazing person who is absolutely devastated by the state of her breasts. She rarely takes her shirt off when we make love, and putting on a bra or a shirt can send her into an emotional tailspin that takes her days to recover from.
Her body recovered remarkably from the first pregnancy, and she became pregnant again quite quickly again. The second pregnancy was the one that really changed her body. Her breasts became hugely engorged while breastfeeding. I cannot say what the size was, but they were gigantic. She was a B cup before the kids.
She is five, almost six years PP, and her stomach is completely flat. She has very few stretch marks and they are all very short and thin. She has a tiny spot of cellulite on one butt cheek and a few more stretch marks on her hips but really, nothing you wouldn’t notice unless you were being intimate with her. She looks the same as when we met which is athletic, healthy, beautiful and super sexy.
I recognize that many women define a great deal of their femininity through their breasts. Hers have lost their perkiness, their firmness, and they are more saggy than they were before she was pregnant. I also cannot even begin to fathom how she feels or what she is thinking outside of what she has told me, or what I have gleaned through her body language.
She has said some of the same things I have read here. She feels gross. She hates her body. She has even said that she would rather cut her breasts off than have them be how they are.
As for me, I can only tell her what I honestly feel, and my hope is that the other women on this site will hear these things from the men in their lives.
When you look at yourself you tend to only see the flaws, the things you want to change. the mirror is lying to you and telling you to conform to the ideal set forth by the media. Real women do not look like the lies you see every day. Real women are not photoshopped pieces of plastic. Real women have saggy breasts. Real women have stretch marks. Real women have cellulite and wonky nipples. Real women come in all shapes and sizes.
But most of all real men know this. Real men understand that what counts is what is in your mind and in your heart. Sure. I am a man, and I have visual queues that peak my interest, but that does not mean I have the expectation that my reality has to conform to the fantasy.
When I see my wife, I see the most beautiful woman in the world. I see the woman who suffered the scars to birth my babies, who nourished them, who gave her body to them so they could grow and come into the world and bring me all the pride and joy and wonderment I could ever imagine.
Real men do not want a manufactured doll that never changes. A real man wants a woman that grows into her mature womanhood. A woman who is lovely because of the emotion and intelligence she develops through the process of becoming a mother.
I know not all men are respectful or kind, and I know this is small condolences when the mirror is lying to you, but please. Ladies. Sexy is a state of mind, not a matter of dimensions or expectations.