2 Pregnancies 1 Birth
Baby Girl lived to be 2 ½ days old
I am currently 5 months PP
I come on this website often. Just to look at all you wonderful ladies and listen of the journeys that you have had. My journey has been a hard one of recent. Losing a child would never be an easy one. Lily was born after an almost perfect pregnancy. By almost I mean at the very end (41 weeks) my placenta separated from my uterine was and my precious Angel was deprived of oxygen due to her severe loss of blood. It was only a matter of time before the damage that had been done finally took her life. And I can honestly say that the single most amazing moment of my life was when I finally got to hold her and she looked up and me and my husband to say goodbye – the moment before her little heart stopped beating.
To work through many emotions I must admit I was pretty hard on my body. And by the 3rd month PP I had lost all of my pre pregnancy weight – despite the fact that I needed to take it easy due to my c-section. By 4.5 months PP I was 10 lbs below my original weight and then I stopped. It was although my mind finally clicked. No matter how hard I was on my body – she was not going to come back to me.
This month we have started trying to conceive again. Although I wanted to try again before now. Emotionally and physically I truly don’t believe I was ready before now.
I worry that new stretch marks will take the place of the old ones that remind me of Lily and that scares me.
And more than anything I worry that something like this will happen again.
Thank-you so much for listening.
Pictures: 1st me at 38 weeks pregnant 2nd me at 3 months PP