Light at the End of the Tunnel (Anonymous)

Previous post here.

I wanted to post an update. In my previous entry, I was 3 weeks pp, and now I am 6 months pp. I still visit this site daily and find encouragement and inspiration in all of the stories written and shared. Every one on here is beautiful and each experience unique; that is what we all need to embrace and LOVE about ourselves. We all have gone through a common experience of carrying a child, but beyond that all of our stories are different. Some of struggle, some of pure bliss, some of uncertainty, some of pain, some of heartache, some of selflessness, some stories that make me want to reach through the computer and hug the original poster, etc… at the end of each story, however, is the same thing; we love our LO’s with all of our hearts, we couldn’t have imagined a love so strong and a dedication so deep beyond the needs of ourselves. We couldn’t imagine life another way…BUT we want our old bodies back!!! Even as much as we hated our bodies pre pregnancy, we wish we had that body of imperfection rather than this body we see today. Guess what. This body today performed a miracle (or maybe two or three, or more!!) and the new “imperfections” we are so quick to point out are those of which tell our unique story.

Trust me, this has been a very difficult concept for me to accept. I will be the first to admit I have spent countless hours searching the internet on mini tummy tucks, tummy tucks, total mommy makeovers, thermage, ItWorks body wraps, etc, etc, etc… but over the past two months I decided to make a change within myself. I started to eat better. I’m not on any fad diets and I definitely don’t deprive myself. But I make it a point to drink lots and lots of water every day. I am always a happier person when I am “fit” so I started a work out routine. Being a full time working mom of 2 and a student, this is difficult to squeeze in but I manage a 25 minute workout MOST mornings and it kicks my arse! Then on weekends I try and do a couple miles run. Other than that, no drastic changes. Even though I haven’t made big changes to my eating and I’ve only incorporated a tiny bit of exercise, I can see a big change in my body, my confidence is through the roof and I am a much happier mom and wife.

I used to look in the mirror in disgust. Most recently I noticed my boobs had shrunk in size and aren’t as perky as they once were. But when I have a good bra on I can sport a v-neck or low cut shirt with “cute/attractive” cleavage rather than the “in your face” cleavage I used to have. I think smaller boobs are more classy ;) And to be honest, I have always wished for smaller boobs. Recently I was thinking breast implants to regain the perkiness but now I look in the mirror and appreciate the softness of them. They seem so feminine and womanly. Maybe I’m having a good week and will have a moment down the line of wanting breast implants again. Either way, I am learning to accept the changes my body has gone through, and continues to go through pp and with age. Underneath it all, I am simply striving to just be a good and better person. That’s what matters most at the end of the day anyways.

So as we wake up each morning and pick apart our “flaws”, let’s do ourselves a favor and weasel in at least one positive compliment to ourselves to kick start our days. Maybe eventually that one compliment will turn into more and take over our self confidence and society as we see it today can kiss all of our butts when we flaunt our mommy bodies with pride!!

I may not be magazine perfect, but airbrush me and I’m damn near close ;) hahahahaha (that’s sarcasm but a sneak peak to what I tell myself to boost my confidence!) I’m far from where I want to be but I know I will get there. And in the meantime, I’m a good mom, a good wife, a good friend, a good sister, and a hard worker, among other things. I am more than my skin and appearances. And so are you. We aren’t perfect, nor will we ever be, but we are who we are and we need to love us. I want my daughters to love themselves the way that I love them, so I need to love myself the way that my mom loved me (she passed Nov. 2012 and the one thing that sticks in my brain every time I find myself dissecting my image in the mirror is her telling me “you have a nice figure, you always have and can wear anything you want because you always look cute”). I would never think less of my daughters if they sported the loose skin, stretchmarks or any other scars, so why do I think less of myself?

Here are some pictures of me 6 months pp.